my step dad i consider my dad
and ive found his weed pipe a while ago and didnt think anything of it i thought maybe he did it before but doesnt now
so i was in his car with my friend kelsea and she opened this car tin and there was the pipe and weed with it .... and i dont know what to do i want to tell some one but i dont wanna ruin my family and i just dont know what to do .. i cant even look at him anymore and i smelt it on him today and i dont know what to do .... what should i do
Hi Lauren,
Have you thought about confronting your dad about this? cos i would think maybe he would be the best person for you to talk about this with, do you get on with him? if so i would urge you to tell him or your mum.
Goodluck
Love
Gabbi
Have you thought about confronting your dad about this? cos i would think maybe he would be the best person for you to talk about this with, do you get on with him? if so i would urge you to tell him or your mum.
Goodluck
Love
Gabbi
Maybe you can write your Mom a letter, or talk to your dad and ask him why he's doing it. Maybe you can send an anonymous tip to your mom through an email, that way she wont know its you and she can do her own investigating. I am sorry you have to go through this, its not fair that you have to be dragged in the middle of adult problems. Just remember that everything someone does comes with consequences, good or bad. And if your dad has made the decision to smoke weed, he has to be prepared to deal with any possible consequences. Dont automatically think negative. Your family may react completely different from what you think, it may not blow over at all. They may welcome it or they may deny it, it really depends. So my advice to you is to first pray (and no offense if you dont believe in prayer), then come up with the best plan of communication and then speak or write to your parents, dont confront them, speak or write to them. The biggest thing is that you shouldnt carry the weight or this burden on your shoulders. You have enough to worry about and this guilt does not belong to you. Good luck.
Come on folks keep it real here, look why are you " searching" your dads car and why stand in judgement on him ?.
There are a lot of "older" people like myself who enjoy the occasional puff and it shouldnt hurt anyone??
Describe addiction to find the answer yer
Im sure he functions quite well even with having a pipe or two so why knock it or him, now you know though for sure you should confront him but do so with an open mind not a sealed shut ideal ok, and before anyone says it im not some in denial person im just trying to keep it real and balanced yer
i think knockrocker may be a little judgemental on this one, this is a young girl who isn't seasoned into the drug/alcohol addiction like us older folk. I agree with him, that i also will partake a little and don't feel that it is an evil drug. I think this girl needs to talk with her stepdad about the situation first, get online and educate herself on marijuana. Of course her stepdad will get defensive about it, but i would think that more than likely, her mom may also smoke. Let him guide her, and if she still feels uncomfortable, talk with her mom about it too.
yeh but my dads not suppose to do that it destroys your brain and other stuff i know what it does i went to a drug counsler i dont want him doing that to himself god u obviously dont know how i feel
Lauren, I am glad you found someone to speak to about this. I am sorry I did not repsond to your post. I felt that if I wrote anything at all it would erupt into a flame war since I do not tolerate active drug abusers well.
You are absolutely correct in being concerned but unfortunately, there is little you can do to help your Dad. Drug addicts (and that includes habitual pot users) use until they hit their own bottom and decide that they have to make drastic changes in their lives. Even then, most of them are not successful in their attempts to quit.
By getting up from the computer and seeking out real help from another human being, you have shown more courage and conviction than the vast majority of people who lurk on this site. Fact of the matter is, the internet is a good place for superficial research but many seem to think that looking in on an addiction forum is a way to get clean and change their bad habits. For the most part, these people are living in denial and I for one have decided that it is time for me to cease fostering a belief that this easier, softer way is a valid path to recovery. After observing the progress of hundreds of addicts over the course of a year, I can assure you that it is not.
My recommendation to you would be to begin attending Al Anon to learn the skills to cope with an addict parent. Simply leaving something as important as this to writing in cyber space is tanatamount to living a fantasy. Again, I apologize for not responding earlier to your post. This place has burnt me out and I must take a nice long hiatus in order to protect my own recovery. Being exposed to the thought processes of nonrecovering drug addicts on a daily basis has taken its toll on me.
All the best
August
You are absolutely correct in being concerned but unfortunately, there is little you can do to help your Dad. Drug addicts (and that includes habitual pot users) use until they hit their own bottom and decide that they have to make drastic changes in their lives. Even then, most of them are not successful in their attempts to quit.
By getting up from the computer and seeking out real help from another human being, you have shown more courage and conviction than the vast majority of people who lurk on this site. Fact of the matter is, the internet is a good place for superficial research but many seem to think that looking in on an addiction forum is a way to get clean and change their bad habits. For the most part, these people are living in denial and I for one have decided that it is time for me to cease fostering a belief that this easier, softer way is a valid path to recovery. After observing the progress of hundreds of addicts over the course of a year, I can assure you that it is not.
My recommendation to you would be to begin attending Al Anon to learn the skills to cope with an addict parent. Simply leaving something as important as this to writing in cyber space is tanatamount to living a fantasy. Again, I apologize for not responding earlier to your post. This place has burnt me out and I must take a nice long hiatus in order to protect my own recovery. Being exposed to the thought processes of nonrecovering drug addicts on a daily basis has taken its toll on me.
All the best
August
You offer sound advice, AugustWest, from one who has walked the walk instead of just talked a lot of talk. You speak with conviction and with the profound knowledge of what works and what simply does not work.
For myself, I've worked with enough addicts and alcoholics to know that coddling addicts just doesn't work. Sweet-talking them is a waste of time. Stroking them is even more of a waste of time. Theirs and ours. Their ability to rationalize their activities and behaviors reaches from here to eternity. And it's all to protect the addiction -- and many times a distorted and broken belief system. Like a belief system that denies that there is any power in this world greater than themselves. None. Now, how silly is that ? Words of a fool.
Like all this talk: "I'll do it on my own" or "my will power will set me free" or "I've got a problem with the spiritual way" or "I'll blame it on my parents" or "I'll blame what I do on my family" or "if only someone else hadn't done something to me" or "your way is not my way" or "I've got the strength to do this myself" or "I don't need anyone else or any other power" blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
As you have noted, playing into all this or playing along with all this only makes us sick. And others reading it, particularly newbies here looking for real help, get the false hope and are exposed to the lying idea that what they are saying works and what they dismiss as hogwash does not work. I cannot and will not stand by silently.
I feel sorry for the children, spouses and relatives of these people. Their activities are so incredibly selfish. And self-centered. And the children, spouses, and relatives spend hours, days, weeks, months, years and sometimes decades of their own lives waiting for the day that real change occurs -- giving until they can give no more. Or until the day they finally walk away. While the addict protects her or his little secret -- and lives in their own little selfish world.
Take good care of yourself, AugustWest. Many want to listen to your advice until it causes them to face themselves and their lives squarely and directly . . . and change. Or do something different. Then they turn away from you -- and dismiss your words -- taking only what they want to hear. What feels good to them.
One thing is undeniable . . . . you have followed a path that works. So many will not humble themselves enough to change their thoughts and behaviors enough to get well as you have done. Yes, they would rather wallow in their self-denial. Still attached to a lifestyle that they should have put away years ago. Some dreamland. Unreality. What a pity.
And an addict will do this all while losing family, wives, children, finances, health, homes, self-respect, and any chance for a better life. Or even a different, less self destructive life. Little by little.
God bless you AugustWest. I should say, may God continue to bless you, for you have sought his help and the help of others.
For our God is a good and loving God. Full or mercy and love. Do come back when you feel able.
For those who would attact me or the message. Save your words. Confront yourself.
For myself, I've worked with enough addicts and alcoholics to know that coddling addicts just doesn't work. Sweet-talking them is a waste of time. Stroking them is even more of a waste of time. Theirs and ours. Their ability to rationalize their activities and behaviors reaches from here to eternity. And it's all to protect the addiction -- and many times a distorted and broken belief system. Like a belief system that denies that there is any power in this world greater than themselves. None. Now, how silly is that ? Words of a fool.
Like all this talk: "I'll do it on my own" or "my will power will set me free" or "I've got a problem with the spiritual way" or "I'll blame it on my parents" or "I'll blame what I do on my family" or "if only someone else hadn't done something to me" or "your way is not my way" or "I've got the strength to do this myself" or "I don't need anyone else or any other power" blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
As you have noted, playing into all this or playing along with all this only makes us sick. And others reading it, particularly newbies here looking for real help, get the false hope and are exposed to the lying idea that what they are saying works and what they dismiss as hogwash does not work. I cannot and will not stand by silently.
I feel sorry for the children, spouses and relatives of these people. Their activities are so incredibly selfish. And self-centered. And the children, spouses, and relatives spend hours, days, weeks, months, years and sometimes decades of their own lives waiting for the day that real change occurs -- giving until they can give no more. Or until the day they finally walk away. While the addict protects her or his little secret -- and lives in their own little selfish world.
Take good care of yourself, AugustWest. Many want to listen to your advice until it causes them to face themselves and their lives squarely and directly . . . and change. Or do something different. Then they turn away from you -- and dismiss your words -- taking only what they want to hear. What feels good to them.
One thing is undeniable . . . . you have followed a path that works. So many will not humble themselves enough to change their thoughts and behaviors enough to get well as you have done. Yes, they would rather wallow in their self-denial. Still attached to a lifestyle that they should have put away years ago. Some dreamland. Unreality. What a pity.
And an addict will do this all while losing family, wives, children, finances, health, homes, self-respect, and any chance for a better life. Or even a different, less self destructive life. Little by little.
God bless you AugustWest. I should say, may God continue to bless you, for you have sought his help and the help of others.
For our God is a good and loving God. Full or mercy and love. Do come back when you feel able.
For those who would attact me or the message. Save your words. Confront yourself.
