Danielle, your post made me giggle. I think OCD is my middle name. I do understand what you're saying, I'm just saying that addictive behavior is dangerous in all aspects of taking meds. Any kind of med. If you need sinus medication then of course you take it, but only for what it is intended for. Otherwise you are abusing it, thus screwing with your sobriety and recovery. If you take it to get you going in the morning, you're abusing it. I too, am a wimp when it comes to pain and don't like to ride it out. I will take advil for a headache or backache. But I have to be careful and for the first time, follow the flipping directions. Never been one to follow any directions...this is new for me. We will struggle with responsibly taking medicine for the rest of our lives. It's just a given. But we are strong and we want this, so we will do what we are told and do what's right so that we can live our lives without this monkey on our backs.
Spouses and signaficant others care about us. They want us safe and alive. Give em a break, help them understand and do what you can to be as open and honest as you can. It won't happen overnight, we all do it in our own time. I still haven't told my husband about my last relapse 8 months ago... I will eventually because I hate the deceptions and lies as much as I hate the drugs. If they can't or won't understand and deal with it, then it's their cross to bear, not yours. Let them take their own inventory and just know in your heart that you are doing what's right for you. But truely, we need their love and support. We can't do it alone.
MJ..I'm so happy to hear that you are moving forward and that you are trying. I didn't know about your pain issues and I understand that dealing with that on top of addiction is your own private hell. I'm so sorry. Just hang in there, darlin. There are alot of people who care about you on this board, we'll be here when you're ready to do what it is you need to do.
Love
Cowgirl
C.G., the biggest thing I'm working on now is resolving past issues and my way of thinking.... to get out of the mindset that I always need something to make me happy, wake me up, put me to bed.... It IS addictive behavior, all of it.
I overdo EVERYTHING, which is why my husband probably worries.... lol...And I take things to counteract other things.... I'll drink too much coffee and get so jittery that I have a panic attack and then have to drink a glass of wine or take something to calm me down.... It's a cycle.
Sometimes I do take stuff because it is truly needed.... other times, I take it because I'm tired or irritable or want a little pick-me-up.... I just wish I could go back to the time when it wasn't like that - when I could take medicine like a normal person and not have this addictive personality. Getting hooked on pain pills has changed my life in so many different ways.....
My husband aggravates me at times with his constant interrogation but, you're right, he does it out of love for me and wanting what's best for me. How can I be mad at that? <smile>
I overdo EVERYTHING, which is why my husband probably worries.... lol...And I take things to counteract other things.... I'll drink too much coffee and get so jittery that I have a panic attack and then have to drink a glass of wine or take something to calm me down.... It's a cycle.
Sometimes I do take stuff because it is truly needed.... other times, I take it because I'm tired or irritable or want a little pick-me-up.... I just wish I could go back to the time when it wasn't like that - when I could take medicine like a normal person and not have this addictive personality. Getting hooked on pain pills has changed my life in so many different ways.....
My husband aggravates me at times with his constant interrogation but, you're right, he does it out of love for me and wanting what's best for me. How can I be mad at that? <smile>
