It's very hard for me to admit this. I still have control issues just like I did when I was abusing pain pills. It took me much longer then most to realize that I couldn't do it on my own. Well now I am suffering from depression and anxiety. Mostly depression. I am already on 20mg celexa and have been since June. But for the past month or so I am struggling to get out of bed. Then when I finally do it takes me another couple hours before I shower and get dressed. I never want to go out anywhere. Tomorrow my little girl has a birthday party to attend and I am dreading it. Thankfully my husband is going with us so that will help. I have been exercising and eating much better. I think a lot of the problem is that I have been over-weight for the past two years. I am 34 years old now. My whole life up until 2 years ago I have been fortunate to be naturally thin. I am 5'6" and never weighed more then 130. I also used to love to shop and get dressed up and fix my hair up. But since I've put on the weight, I don't ever fix myself up. I can't find clothes I like and I can't stand to look in the mirror. I know my depression has more to do with then just my appearence. I feel like I'm not a very good Mom. My daughter has always been a Daddy's girl and sometimes I feel like I'm not really needed around here. I feel like my depression has gotten to the point that I need help but I don't know where to start. I wish they had rehabs for depression and not just addiction. If they did I wonder if my insurance would pay for it. Does anyone know? Please, any advice would mean so much.
Shelly
For actual advice, I don't know what I have to offer as I am in the same stage as you, recognizing that there is a problem and not knowing how to reach out.
But you are not alone.
But you are not alone.
shelly
yes! they definately have rehab for depression only too.
my first rehab experience was a place that had a floor for depressed people/addicts. there were alot of people on the floor with me who were being treated for depression only, i was there for addiction so look into it, there are places available that treat depression in a hospital/rehab environment. dont let another day of your life be robbed from this terrible disorder.
call around and google it too.let me know what you come up with ok?
you are definately depressed, i have had the same exact symptoms and it is such a terrible darkness to go thru, paxil helps me tremendously, sometimes one may have to try different ad's before they find the right one. jewels
yes! they definately have rehab for depression only too.
my first rehab experience was a place that had a floor for depressed people/addicts. there were alot of people on the floor with me who were being treated for depression only, i was there for addiction so look into it, there are places available that treat depression in a hospital/rehab environment. dont let another day of your life be robbed from this terrible disorder.
call around and google it too.let me know what you come up with ok?
you are definately depressed, i have had the same exact symptoms and it is such a terrible darkness to go thru, paxil helps me tremendously, sometimes one may have to try different ad's before they find the right one. jewels
Good Morning Shelly
you quote
Unless I've missed some part of your story,it sounds like to me you are still doing it on your own? Are you going to any meetings? Private therapy or counseling?
I know when I've quit on my own I was simply left with this empty shell.Depression and anger soon followed.I think it's a hard concept to grasp on to that the drugs are only a symptom of a larger problem.
In my case it was more of a spiritual deficency that had been taking place for many years.I was always trying to fill a hole with either drugs,alcohol,sex,food .....just fill in the blank.
In order for lasting,peaceful change to happen you have to start working on the root cause.Simply stopping the drugs is not enough.It's a start.
Working the twelve steps was my introduction to life again.Sometimes it was a really painful process but working with a sponsor made it more palatable.
I know for me Shelly that it wasn't enough just to be dry.I wanted to be happy.I wanted to go to bed at night with some peace.I wanted to be able to function in the world without ingesting a pill to change my now.
I think AD's can be beneficial but only after we make sure our depression is not simply the result of PAW's or from change.I think our society is general is too locked into that" better living through chemistry" syndrome.
Good Luck
you quote
| QUOTE |
| It's very hard for me to admit this. I still have control issues just like I did when I was abusing pain pills. It took me much longer then most to realize that I couldn't do it on my own |
Unless I've missed some part of your story,it sounds like to me you are still doing it on your own? Are you going to any meetings? Private therapy or counseling?
I know when I've quit on my own I was simply left with this empty shell.Depression and anger soon followed.I think it's a hard concept to grasp on to that the drugs are only a symptom of a larger problem.
In my case it was more of a spiritual deficency that had been taking place for many years.I was always trying to fill a hole with either drugs,alcohol,sex,food .....just fill in the blank.
In order for lasting,peaceful change to happen you have to start working on the root cause.Simply stopping the drugs is not enough.It's a start.
Working the twelve steps was my introduction to life again.Sometimes it was a really painful process but working with a sponsor made it more palatable.
I know for me Shelly that it wasn't enough just to be dry.I wanted to be happy.I wanted to go to bed at night with some peace.I wanted to be able to function in the world without ingesting a pill to change my now.
I think AD's can be beneficial but only after we make sure our depression is not simply the result of PAW's or from change.I think our society is general is too locked into that" better living through chemistry" syndrome.
Good Luck
Shelly,
Who is prescribing the celexa? Your GP or a psychiatrist? If it's a psychiatrist, is he just a pill doctor or do you see him for therapy as well?
My psychiatrist, Dr. M -- the tightest man in the world with a prescription pad, thank God -- says that this work cannot be done alone. Healing happens in the interaction between two people. It has to be that way. We didn't get wounded on our own -- someone did that to us and we need someone to help us heal.
I can't recommend therapy highly enough. I also went to meetings early in my recovery; a good sponsor is as good as a good therapist (and certainly much better than a bad therapist).
Love,
Gina
Who is prescribing the celexa? Your GP or a psychiatrist? If it's a psychiatrist, is he just a pill doctor or do you see him for therapy as well?
My psychiatrist, Dr. M -- the tightest man in the world with a prescription pad, thank God -- says that this work cannot be done alone. Healing happens in the interaction between two people. It has to be that way. We didn't get wounded on our own -- someone did that to us and we need someone to help us heal.
I can't recommend therapy highly enough. I also went to meetings early in my recovery; a good sponsor is as good as a good therapist (and certainly much better than a bad therapist).
Love,
Gina
Shelly:
They do have rehab just for depression. Also, in rehab they have dual diagnosis, where they treat addiction & depression (or whatever the 2 disorders may be). Have you considered going on a SSRI anti-depressant. Maybe you could discuss that with your Dr. I'm on paxil myself. It works well, but paxil is one of the harder ones to get off of, believe me, I've tried. But there are many more -prozac, zoloft, effexor. I was first put on effexor and I lost so much weight, it was great - but, it made me so nervous that I had to switch. You may have to try several before you find the one thats right for you. Also, they're not a quick fix, it takes several weeks for them to start working, I noticed results fairly quickly tho. Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
They do have rehab just for depression. Also, in rehab they have dual diagnosis, where they treat addiction & depression (or whatever the 2 disorders may be). Have you considered going on a SSRI anti-depressant. Maybe you could discuss that with your Dr. I'm on paxil myself. It works well, but paxil is one of the harder ones to get off of, believe me, I've tried. But there are many more -prozac, zoloft, effexor. I was first put on effexor and I lost so much weight, it was great - but, it made me so nervous that I had to switch. You may have to try several before you find the one thats right for you. Also, they're not a quick fix, it takes several weeks for them to start working, I noticed results fairly quickly tho. Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
Shelly, hi! I tend to agree with Tim. you really need to find a spiritual outlet. Depression is real and is a killer. Please seek some help honey...meetings and a good therapist. I am not sure if AD's are the answer for all. They definitely help some. You need to start getting those serotonin levels up.
Surround yourself around people that are like you....I know that when I quit taking pills on my own...with no help or support..I suffered miserably. You don't have to do this alone.
Keeping you in my prayers
Surround yourself around people that are like you....I know that when I quit taking pills on my own...with no help or support..I suffered miserably. You don't have to do this alone.
Keeping you in my prayers
