In 1992 I was beaten by two people with baseball bats. They worked on me for about 20 min. Theyallmost killed me. It started out as a Workers Comp. case but they had a video of me doing yard work so in 2001 the judge ruled that the o back injury was not covered by workers comp. Over the 8 years all I ever received was massive amounts of pain pills. In 2004 I was taking 6 to 7 Oxycotin 80 s a day. My drawer is full of every kind of high end pain pills and patches. I want to get off this crap. Any one have a direction I could head for good advice? I have lost everything. I have no Ins. and no job. I need as close to free as possible. I could spend a couple of days with horror stories, but that wont help. I just want to know a good way to start. I am over 50 and every penny I get goes for pills. I know I am hooked and I do not try to rationalize my abuse. I am so depressed that I can not function day to day. I have this strong fleeing that I am so useless that I cannot justify my existence. I need to get back the control that the pills took. I am not into religon like I was when I was younger. I do believe in god. I just think that he has moved to a different planet and is going to try it again and see if he can get it right this time. Please , serious replies would be wecome.
hi,and welcome to the board. you are in the right place my friend.
My name is Marsha,and I am an addict.I am 53,so we are in the same age group.
Well first of all ,you have made a huge step. You told on your addiction! I, like you have spent every $ on pain pills.
Right now I am in the 3rd day od w/d.
Do you have a doctor that you could talk to? Im not sure how much your are taking,so im leary to give you advise on how to stop.
Just know,you are not alone.
Love,
Marsha
My name is Marsha,and I am an addict.I am 53,so we are in the same age group.
Well first of all ,you have made a huge step. You told on your addiction! I, like you have spent every $ on pain pills.
Right now I am in the 3rd day od w/d.
Do you have a doctor that you could talk to? Im not sure how much your are taking,so im leary to give you advise on how to stop.
Just know,you are not alone.
Love,
Marsha
Soterik, First off I want to applaud for you coming here reaching out for help. That in itself takes much courage. How are you getting the pills and patches? If you are getting them from a face to face doctor, my suggestion would be to start there, get honest and tell the doc everything, ask for his/her help in getting off these things safely. You have options. I see you say you need to do this the cheapest way with no insurance and I know the detox place I went to had a sliding scale that depended on your income. Look and call around to the mental health centers, there is inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment, NA/AA/PA 12 step fellowships. The doctors were my drug dealers. I had to come clean and tell them I have a problem. Some here have used a drug to ease withdrawals, and some are tapering down. Do you have family you can get support from? If you order on line, call and refuse any further shipments. I went 18 hour detox and then hit the doors of NA. Others can probably give you more information on the other options. Welcome again and wishing you the best. Dawn
Dear Soterik,
First off welcome to this board...its like a family..one thatsometimes fights and disagrees, but a family none the less and you are among people who understand what you are feeling.
Do you still have pain. ( I am HORRIFIED that 2 people would do that to you with baseball bats....Good God i hope the were caught and sent to jail for a long time!)
..as a man its especially upsetting to be a victim to crime, cus men are taught to defend themselves and of course you had absolutely no chance to do that.
Have you had any kind of therapy for that horrific ordeal? Post traumatic stress counceling?????? I would advise you do....
Do you have a prescribing Dr??? Can you go to him and ask for a taper plan?
You have many options for a successful recovery, as long as you are TRULY ready to stop taking them, and altering your moods with them..
Discuss your options with your doctor.. Do you have family? You need support,
posting here will help and many will come along tomorrow ( its late now) and offer you advise and tell you how they did it....but you will need someone Physically there for you...a spouse, family member, best friend?
Know that you can do this, if you really want it bad enough.
Will check back with you tomorrow, Im off to bed too but didnt want you to think no one cares...we all do....we all have been there.
Tomorrow be sure to come back and read your thread...
Big Hugs
It will be okay....Honest!
Ali
First off welcome to this board...its like a family..one thatsometimes fights and disagrees, but a family none the less and you are among people who understand what you are feeling.
Do you still have pain. ( I am HORRIFIED that 2 people would do that to you with baseball bats....Good God i hope the were caught and sent to jail for a long time!)
..as a man its especially upsetting to be a victim to crime, cus men are taught to defend themselves and of course you had absolutely no chance to do that.
Have you had any kind of therapy for that horrific ordeal? Post traumatic stress counceling?????? I would advise you do....
Do you have a prescribing Dr??? Can you go to him and ask for a taper plan?
You have many options for a successful recovery, as long as you are TRULY ready to stop taking them, and altering your moods with them..
Discuss your options with your doctor.. Do you have family? You need support,
posting here will help and many will come along tomorrow ( its late now) and offer you advise and tell you how they did it....but you will need someone Physically there for you...a spouse, family member, best friend?
Know that you can do this, if you really want it bad enough.
Will check back with you tomorrow, Im off to bed too but didnt want you to think no one cares...we all do....we all have been there.
Tomorrow be sure to come back and read your thread...
Big Hugs
It will be okay....Honest!
Ali
Soterik...First let me welcome you to the board..Take a deep breath
and get a grip..Most of us here have been where you are at..I was a
heavy opiate abuser for 13 years..I have been clean now 45 days..
There is a way out, you can get free from the pills..You need a plan..
Do you have a dr.? A dr. can be key in getting you through the wd
process..Some here have used suboxone..I personally, weaned myself
down, then went cold turkey..My dr..gave me an ad, and ativan to help
with the wd..YOU CAN DO THIS!!!...If I can anyone can..
Keep posting..others will be along soon to give you more advise..
Good luck my friend,
Doug
and get a grip..Most of us here have been where you are at..I was a
heavy opiate abuser for 13 years..I have been clean now 45 days..
There is a way out, you can get free from the pills..You need a plan..
Do you have a dr.? A dr. can be key in getting you through the wd
process..Some here have used suboxone..I personally, weaned myself
down, then went cold turkey..My dr..gave me an ad, and ativan to help
with the wd..YOU CAN DO THIS!!!...If I can anyone can..
Keep posting..others will be along soon to give you more advise..
Good luck my friend,
Doug
P.S.
Forgot to say honey that this would be a GREAT time to reintroduce yourself to God....ask for his help and guiddance, ask that his will be done.
Gods will does NOT want you to be chained to some stupid pills just to function, he wants you free and happy and able to live life and enjoy it without altering your brain, or numbing it with chemicals.
I have been on a taper, and able to stick to it for the first time in 10 years....My prayers at night work, as does the fact that while i was going through the biggest drop in dose...i stayed busy posting here, reading others stories...and identifing with others...Biggest thing is I realized this WASNT a dirty little secret.
Addiction shows no boundries, white, black, tall short, rich, poor, bussinessmen, house wives, wall street brokers and janitors,,all ages and all
societies/religions...
This is not a horrible charachter flaw, chances are if you take narcotics long enough, you can get addicted....It happens all the time. Shame will only keep you stuck..
So pray to God,, and ask for guidance, then get to your Dr and ask him for your options.
By then alot more will have posted about those options. ( Rehab. NA, home taper etc..)
I will say a prayer for you too
and check in with you tomorrow
Dont worry!!!! It will all work out okay!
Hugs
Ali
Forgot to say honey that this would be a GREAT time to reintroduce yourself to God....ask for his help and guiddance, ask that his will be done.
Gods will does NOT want you to be chained to some stupid pills just to function, he wants you free and happy and able to live life and enjoy it without altering your brain, or numbing it with chemicals.
I have been on a taper, and able to stick to it for the first time in 10 years....My prayers at night work, as does the fact that while i was going through the biggest drop in dose...i stayed busy posting here, reading others stories...and identifing with others...Biggest thing is I realized this WASNT a dirty little secret.
Addiction shows no boundries, white, black, tall short, rich, poor, bussinessmen, house wives, wall street brokers and janitors,,all ages and all
societies/religions...
This is not a horrible charachter flaw, chances are if you take narcotics long enough, you can get addicted....It happens all the time. Shame will only keep you stuck..
So pray to God,, and ask for guidance, then get to your Dr and ask him for your options.
By then alot more will have posted about those options. ( Rehab. NA, home taper etc..)
I will say a prayer for you too
and check in with you tomorrow
Dont worry!!!! It will all work out okay!
Hugs
Ali
Hi sot nice to see you, first off your at least trying hun you have come here so its a great start to your new life, you do however need to look at outside help options groups gps etc. ((hugs)) in case you need one jaxxxxxxxxxx
Dear friend,
Perhaps God is not so far off as you may think? Isaiah wrote "Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your sins have separated you from your God;your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear." Isaiah 59:1-2. Seems to me the great problem we all have is turning away from God and pushing him out of our lives.
The same writer also said "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon." Isaiah 55:6-7
I would urge you to turn back to him as you did in your "younger" days. He has not left! He is still a God of mercy and grace for all who call upon him. He demonstrated that by sending his only Son, Jesus Christ, to be punished for sins, so that you and I might have forgiveness and peace with God. My prayer is that you would find that peace that only He can provide. God bless you.
Perhaps God is not so far off as you may think? Isaiah wrote "Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your sins have separated you from your God;your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear." Isaiah 59:1-2. Seems to me the great problem we all have is turning away from God and pushing him out of our lives.
The same writer also said "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon." Isaiah 55:6-7
I would urge you to turn back to him as you did in your "younger" days. He has not left! He is still a God of mercy and grace for all who call upon him. He demonstrated that by sending his only Son, Jesus Christ, to be punished for sins, so that you and I might have forgiveness and peace with God. My prayer is that you would find that peace that only He can provide. God bless you.
I feel your pain and I'm glad that your here. I myself am an addict. Have been for five yrs after having three spinal fusions. I'm a wife and mother of three grown children. Lost my career after all of this. When I found this site it was overwhelming to me just how many of us are out there. I really don't have much to offer as I am also fairly new to this site. But wanted to say hello and welcome. I have gotten some very good advice here. Haven't gotten too far but going to keep trying. Don't ever give up on yourself. There is a reason why you found this site.
Annie
Annie
