I don't know if I told anyone how many norco's I was taking in a 24 hour period but it was between 14 and 16 - even seeing it in writing I think what a gosh damn weak fool I am. Anyway how am I doing well I made it almost 24 hours then came the huge slip up I took 2 norco's. I have in one way done something I never thought I could do which was get through the day without taking any. None when I woke up even though I was feeling like hell, none when my stomach hurt so bad I was breaking in and out of a cold sweat all day long and I kept that going until I couldn't take it anymore and then I took 2. I know everyone said to flush but I am too afraid. Anyway I am still on this treacherous course and I have to tell you I am just proud of myself that all I have taken is 2 and gone that long in between. In one way it has given me a bit of confidence that I can do this. I still feel like crap but I can get through the day light hours without taking any it is a sorry accomplishment I know but an accomplishment for me.
I know this is probably horrible mentality isn't it?
Okay I have reiced my glass and with cranberry juice in tow I am off to bed with my saltine crackers. Please don't give up on me yet? All the things you are writing are what keeps me going. I don't even know you people but I desperately need you.......
Hi Irish - Not giving up on you, girl! Try not to take anymore today. It's late in the day. Tomorrow start again. It's very hard to drop from 14 to 0. Don't hate yourself for not doing it today. You made huge strides. Start again from this point forward. You're doing great. Don't stop coming back to this board. No matter what. Make us be your cheerleaders. We have all been there. Many times. I can't tell you how many "one last trip" I took to this girls house to plunk down $200 of my hard earned money for 2-3 days of a quick fix. This is your time, Irish. You ARE going to make it this time. Think about how much better you're gonna feel next week this time! Do your best. It's not going to be easy but you can do it. It is your time!!! Fight for it!! Alice
dont worry about ,us ,,we will always be here ,,there are some here that will,make you feel like ,well how should I put this,, kinda bad ,,feeling ,tough love ,,so be it ,thats there way of helping which is ok,, but only you no the rite way to chose ,,we just help you along ,,you will not be jughed has a weak person, just alterd rite now ,,we love you sweety,,your doing fine,,poopie
Irish..........Anytime an attempt is made to get clean is a huge accomplishment.The only mistake one can make is to stop trying.However I'm also a pragmatist.Having pills around while you're trying to detox is foolish.We are not made of steel and when you are feeling your worst,they will call your name.
I don't even think it's a good ideal to have benzo's around unless you have someone else holding them and giving them as needed.I'm also speaking from a drug addicts perspective.There are a few people who come on here that I don't think are addicts.They became dependent on their pain medication and historically don't have addiction problems.Those individuals usually have a better success rate at tapering.
You have to be thoroughly honest with where you fit into this.One shoe size doesn't fit all.Most addicts I know cannot taper.Most addicts I've met cannot have prescription narcotics in their possession and certainly cannot rely on self administration.
My advise to you is to try again but I would most definitely toss what Norco you have left.You don't have to extend this withdrawl out for weeks.
A slip is a slip.Calling it a little,bitty,tiny,only a couple pills doesn't change the fact.Don't beat yourself up either.Just throw those pills away so your momentum is not set back.
Keep posting.
I don't even think it's a good ideal to have benzo's around unless you have someone else holding them and giving them as needed.I'm also speaking from a drug addicts perspective.There are a few people who come on here that I don't think are addicts.They became dependent on their pain medication and historically don't have addiction problems.Those individuals usually have a better success rate at tapering.
You have to be thoroughly honest with where you fit into this.One shoe size doesn't fit all.Most addicts I know cannot taper.Most addicts I've met cannot have prescription narcotics in their possession and certainly cannot rely on self administration.
My advise to you is to try again but I would most definitely toss what Norco you have left.You don't have to extend this withdrawl out for weeks.
A slip is a slip.Calling it a little,bitty,tiny,only a couple pills doesn't change the fact.Don't beat yourself up either.Just throw those pills away so your momentum is not set back.
Keep posting.
OK, so you slipped; just get back up & try again. I do agree with Tim though, you really should flush all the pills. I was never able to taper either, I would have done exactly what you did, probably sooner. If you have them around they are going to sabatoge your detox efforts. The pull is just too strong and when the misery of w/d hits peak the addict kicks in.
That said, I do agree that you have made progress to be proud of. Based on what you said, taking only 2 pills over the period of time stated compared to what you were doing before is a victory for sure. This whole process sucks so much, I know: it was only 4 months ago I was exactly where you are right now. I know you really want this and I so hate to see you torturing yourself; which is what you will do if you continue to have them around and continue taking them (in any amount). Please believe me - I know it is HELL right now, but it does get better. You can do this; just keep reminding yourself of all the people and reasons in your life that you want to live clean for. Staying on the pills will jeopordize each and every one of these.
You can do this - a few days of misery are worth a lifetime of clean living. No matter what happens, I am proud of you and am pulling for you. Good luck - let us know how you are doing.
Julie
That said, I do agree that you have made progress to be proud of. Based on what you said, taking only 2 pills over the period of time stated compared to what you were doing before is a victory for sure. This whole process sucks so much, I know: it was only 4 months ago I was exactly where you are right now. I know you really want this and I so hate to see you torturing yourself; which is what you will do if you continue to have them around and continue taking them (in any amount). Please believe me - I know it is HELL right now, but it does get better. You can do this; just keep reminding yourself of all the people and reasons in your life that you want to live clean for. Staying on the pills will jeopordize each and every one of these.
You can do this - a few days of misery are worth a lifetime of clean living. No matter what happens, I am proud of you and am pulling for you. Good luck - let us know how you are doing.
Julie
Irish, you are torturing yourself. If I am correct....the whole time that you were "white knuckling" it....you knew that you had more pills and were just hanging on to see how far you would get. Is that correct? No way, no how should you have pills available.
In fact, you should call ALL of your sources and tell them that you are DONE. That includes your Doctor! If you are really, really ready....that is the only way. You MUST cut off ALL of your sources!
The very first step it to admit that you are indeed powerless and that you will indeed use if you have pills....especially while detoxing and/or going through w/d.
Don't beat yourself up Irish....try again. Use what you learned from this go round and go again. I am sure you will admit that you did learn that it wasn't as horrible as you were projecting.....right?
Do the next right thing and the sooner the better, you are just putting off the inevitable. No way around it.....you bought the ticket...now you must take the ride!!
Good luck and keep posting!
In fact, you should call ALL of your sources and tell them that you are DONE. That includes your Doctor! If you are really, really ready....that is the only way. You MUST cut off ALL of your sources!
The very first step it to admit that you are indeed powerless and that you will indeed use if you have pills....especially while detoxing and/or going through w/d.
Don't beat yourself up Irish....try again. Use what you learned from this go round and go again. I am sure you will admit that you did learn that it wasn't as horrible as you were projecting.....right?
Do the next right thing and the sooner the better, you are just putting off the inevitable. No way around it.....you bought the ticket...now you must take the ride!!
Good luck and keep posting!
