Hey All!
Hope everyone is doing alright tonite. I for one am doing great. I was so nervous before I spoke tonite...pacing the floors lol. I was just honest and thats it. Talked about how it was, how I got here and mostly what its like now. I didnt throw up or pass out..lol But I will tell you this , it did my heart and soul good. My sponsor was there and she is so awesome. I met some new friends. I can't even explain how I feel right now it feels so good. I heard something really good tonite....if someone pisses you off irritates you or you dont like them...get even with them by praying for them. Never looked at it like that. I know that is easier said than done but it makes you feel better. The one thing I shared about was tolerance. I have been hearing alot about it to lately. That is my red flag. Once I start being intolerant of others...like when I am at a meeting and someone is talking to long, or too short, or I dont like what they are saying...etc. Or here at home or even on this board...when it starts pissing me off...thats where my intolerance comes in. I have to look at what I am not doing for me to be intolerant. If I dont I will end up using again. That is the beginning of my relapse even before I ever pick up that drink or drug. I just feel so good right now..now its not pink cloud...I have never been on one...dont even know what one feels like. I usually had the black clouds..lolol. I just choose today to be happy and do what is necessary for me to stay clean and sober. As long as I am doing these things I am ok. So for today I am ok. Thanks for letting me share...and to anyone else who is new, hang in there. It does get better. It really does. I can see some of the promises coming true for me already. take care and God bless everyone tonite.
love,
gi
Ahhh Gina
I knew you would do just fine. I'm so happy that you're doing well. I know you've worked very hard for this and you deserve all the good that's coming your way.
Take care and have a good evening
Love ya
Frank
Aweee thanks Frank, you have a good evening as well.
love,
gi
love,
gi
Hey Gina
WTG............and thanks for sharing it is so important for anyone that is new to see such a positive example of sobriety, as I said to Bob, you both offer so much to this board, & it's desperatly needed.......Thank You
Love Dottie
WTG............and thanks for sharing it is so important for anyone that is new to see such a positive example of sobriety, as I said to Bob, you both offer so much to this board, & it's desperatly needed.......Thank You
Love Dottie
Gina its so nice to share happy times jaxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks Dottie. Jaxx, yes it is all good.
take care
love,
gi
take care
love,
gi
Was this the first time you shared at a meeting?
That's so great Gina. Feels good, doesn't it?
Cowgirl
That's so great Gina. Feels good, doesn't it?
Cowgirl
Hi Lisa,
Actually this was the second time I spoke since I got clean this time. 2 Fridays ago I spoke at a very small meeting. I was nervous but it wasnt too bad and I felt good afterward. Tonite I was really nervous because there are alot of oldtimers there. Men and women that have 15 20 to 30 some years. I felt very intimidated. LOL I called my sponsor and she has caller id...she answers the phone and says...so Gi are ya nervous? OMG...I swear I thought I was gonna throw up. But as soon as I started speaking all that nervousness went away. Something recently has changed in me. I just feel so different and not quite sure what it is either. All I know is my sponsor told me to go help some newcomers,newer than me. I had so much anger and didn't know how to get rid of it. Scared the crap out of me cause I know that anger can take me out again. So I did as she suggested and about a week and a half later it dawned on me I wasnt so angry anymore. So my sponsor was right. I hate when she is right lolol. It has helped me a great deal and somewhere along the way I found some peace. This is something I would of never done before. I was too selfish. I had such a huge ego. I needed it to be deflated bigtime. I always thought I was right , etc etc. This time I have humbled myself. I have totally surrendered and realized that the world dont revolve around me. What a realization! Dont get me wrong "things" in my life are still crazy. My mom is ill. She has MS and now is on a new med and she is so emotional. She keeps falling down. Yet she continues to work. She can be very stubborn. I havent been able to talk to her much , she is a huge trigger for me. I had so much anger towards her from my childhood. And I resented the hell out of her. But with how I have been feeling lately and this inner calm that I have, I am able to look past some of that stuff. I realize that she might not be here one day and I dont want it to be with me not speaking to her. Just not sure how I am gonna go about it. Right now it is just email back and forth. But that is a huge step from before. Plus kids dont listen..lol The bills are so out of whack. Just everything in my life is such a mess yet through it all I feel good. I am clean and sober and am so grateful to be alive. Ok I have rambled on long enough here.....take care
gi
Actually this was the second time I spoke since I got clean this time. 2 Fridays ago I spoke at a very small meeting. I was nervous but it wasnt too bad and I felt good afterward. Tonite I was really nervous because there are alot of oldtimers there. Men and women that have 15 20 to 30 some years. I felt very intimidated. LOL I called my sponsor and she has caller id...she answers the phone and says...so Gi are ya nervous? OMG...I swear I thought I was gonna throw up. But as soon as I started speaking all that nervousness went away. Something recently has changed in me. I just feel so different and not quite sure what it is either. All I know is my sponsor told me to go help some newcomers,newer than me. I had so much anger and didn't know how to get rid of it. Scared the crap out of me cause I know that anger can take me out again. So I did as she suggested and about a week and a half later it dawned on me I wasnt so angry anymore. So my sponsor was right. I hate when she is right lolol. It has helped me a great deal and somewhere along the way I found some peace. This is something I would of never done before. I was too selfish. I had such a huge ego. I needed it to be deflated bigtime. I always thought I was right , etc etc. This time I have humbled myself. I have totally surrendered and realized that the world dont revolve around me. What a realization! Dont get me wrong "things" in my life are still crazy. My mom is ill. She has MS and now is on a new med and she is so emotional. She keeps falling down. Yet she continues to work. She can be very stubborn. I havent been able to talk to her much , she is a huge trigger for me. I had so much anger towards her from my childhood. And I resented the hell out of her. But with how I have been feeling lately and this inner calm that I have, I am able to look past some of that stuff. I realize that she might not be here one day and I dont want it to be with me not speaking to her. Just not sure how I am gonna go about it. Right now it is just email back and forth. But that is a huge step from before. Plus kids dont listen..lol The bills are so out of whack. Just everything in my life is such a mess yet through it all I feel good. I am clean and sober and am so grateful to be alive. Ok I have rambled on long enough here.....take care
gi
I remember when I first shared and I too was truly scared, afraid of shame and guilt and being judged. When I saw the acceptence it was beutiful. What I like when I share is that often I will sit through a meeting trying to think of something profound or funny to say and than when asked I open my mouth and the next thing I am done. It seems God takes over and gives me the courage to speak from the heart.
I usually don't know what I say only that I am left with a tingling sensation in my face and a sense of release.
Way to go for sharing!
God bless.
I usually don't know what I say only that I am left with a tingling sensation in my face and a sense of release.
Way to go for sharing!
God bless.
Gina,
To my best friend! Your inner beauty is showing once again, careful, others might see it, and then they will want you for their best friend! LMAO.
You are positively GLOWING with all that recovery has to offer, and I am so happy to be a part of your journey. Thanks for sharing it with me, and the others here. It is something this board needs to see so much.
There is beauty in recovery, and it can be anyone's if they want it badly enough.
God Bless,
Carrie
To my best friend! Your inner beauty is showing once again, careful, others might see it, and then they will want you for their best friend! LMAO.
You are positively GLOWING with all that recovery has to offer, and I am so happy to be a part of your journey. Thanks for sharing it with me, and the others here. It is something this board needs to see so much.
There is beauty in recovery, and it can be anyone's if they want it badly enough.
God Bless,
Carrie
Wolf, thank you.
Carrie, You ole sap! I love ya to! I am enjoying it cause tomorrow I could be a crazy person LMAO! I hope not. Thanks for being my friend and for having such a huge heart. You truely are one of a kind. To think of some of the things I have done in the past to you it breaks my heart. I know I have to let that stuff go but it makes me ill when I think of it. I guess all I can say is I was in my own crap and the selfish person I was being then. In relapse mode then of course when I relapsed. Anyway thanks for always being there for me. I thank God for you in my life today.
love,
gi
Carrie, You ole sap! I love ya to! I am enjoying it cause tomorrow I could be a crazy person LMAO! I hope not. Thanks for being my friend and for having such a huge heart. You truely are one of a kind. To think of some of the things I have done in the past to you it breaks my heart. I know I have to let that stuff go but it makes me ill when I think of it. I guess all I can say is I was in my own crap and the selfish person I was being then. In relapse mode then of course when I relapsed. Anyway thanks for always being there for me. I thank God for you in my life today.
love,
gi
Gina
Pass me the tissues................... waaaaaaaaaaaaa..... sniff............ Nothing to forgive, we were both played, and we both found our way back to each other. True friendship never dies, it just gets stronger. We both learned from that ordeal, and while some of it hurt us both, it made us stronger, and smarter along the way.
God blessed me when I found a path to you and Bob. I feel lucky to have you in my life, and Bob as well. We have sure been through a ton together, we have made some great friends, and lost some, but here we stand, marks, scars, and smiles.
We move forward, not backwards, but we never forget the past either. It makes us who we are today, and I happen to like me, and I know I like who you are too. There is a change in you that is shining bright, and I hope everyone can see it the way I do. It can help so many people to know that you do get better along the way.
I just made my year last weekend, and I spent my 90 days sicker than a dog, but none the less, I made it. I didn't have that glow you have right now, not until I shared my step 5. I felt what you are feeling right now, and while I have let a bit of the glow wash off, I need to get it back again, and I will have to just work harder to find my peace once again, as I know that is my hold up.
Thanks for the advice. I am going to pray more again, I always did feel better when I pray for others, no matter what they did to me, or said about me. Plus, sometimes when you are angry with someone, praying for them may just help them find some happiness as well. I love wishing that on someone instead of wishing their fingers would fall off, or their tongues, because maybe just maybe, they need some love too.
You are great!
Carrie
Pass me the tissues................... waaaaaaaaaaaaa..... sniff............ Nothing to forgive, we were both played, and we both found our way back to each other. True friendship never dies, it just gets stronger. We both learned from that ordeal, and while some of it hurt us both, it made us stronger, and smarter along the way.
God blessed me when I found a path to you and Bob. I feel lucky to have you in my life, and Bob as well. We have sure been through a ton together, we have made some great friends, and lost some, but here we stand, marks, scars, and smiles.
We move forward, not backwards, but we never forget the past either. It makes us who we are today, and I happen to like me, and I know I like who you are too. There is a change in you that is shining bright, and I hope everyone can see it the way I do. It can help so many people to know that you do get better along the way.
I just made my year last weekend, and I spent my 90 days sicker than a dog, but none the less, I made it. I didn't have that glow you have right now, not until I shared my step 5. I felt what you are feeling right now, and while I have let a bit of the glow wash off, I need to get it back again, and I will have to just work harder to find my peace once again, as I know that is my hold up.
Thanks for the advice. I am going to pray more again, I always did feel better when I pray for others, no matter what they did to me, or said about me. Plus, sometimes when you are angry with someone, praying for them may just help them find some happiness as well. I love wishing that on someone instead of wishing their fingers would fall off, or their tongues, because maybe just maybe, they need some love too.
You are great!
Carrie
Hmmm,
Damn I sold my hip boots at the flea market!..lol..*wink*..Love ya' both..Bob
Damn I sold my hip boots at the flea market!..lol..*wink*..Love ya' both..Bob
Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, you are such a weiner....and a Oscar Meyer weiner at that! You are a doll!
Smooch
Carrie
Smooch
Carrie
Hey Gina,
That takes a lot of guts to share your story at a meeting. Way to go. I know I couldn't do that right now. Hell, I couldn't even introduce myself at a meeting. lol
That takes a lot of guts to share your story at a meeting. Way to go. I know I couldn't do that right now. Hell, I couldn't even introduce myself at a meeting. lol
Gina
I knew you could do it!! Congratulations! It sounds like a pink cloud to me! Hope its still there this morning.
I need a speaker for the third Sat. in december, wanna come down here?
I knew you could do it!! Congratulations! It sounds like a pink cloud to me! Hope its still there this morning.
I need a speaker for the third Sat. in december, wanna come down here?
The first time I shared, I was shaking so bad I thought I would throw up. But once that first time was out of the way, it got easier and easier. What we have to remember is that, no one is judging us. They've all been where we are and really want to hear what we have to say. Especially people who don't share that often. You get a little tired of hearing the same stories over and over some times. That's why it's good to go to all kinds of different meetings.
I hope that you'll share more often now. It is so empowering for me.
Cowgirl
I hope that you'll share more often now. It is so empowering for me.
Cowgirl
12 Stepper,
thanks, I would love to come down there! Maybe sometime in the future though. But when I do get down that way I will.
Yea Lisa you are right.
Liz, thanks!!
Oh almost forgot...Bob your a dork!!!! LMAO!!!!!
j/k I love you!
love,
gi
thanks, I would love to come down there! Maybe sometime in the future though. But when I do get down that way I will.
Yea Lisa you are right.
Liz, thanks!!
Oh almost forgot...Bob your a dork!!!! LMAO!!!!!
j/k I love you!
love,
gi
