I decided that because im doing alittle bit better that i could actually tell someone that was close to me threw growing up that i had this problom.
I didnt come right out and say it, she came over after her doctor app. and told me that she has pulled her back out and she went to the doctor because it was killing her. The doctor ended up giving her a script for VICADIN.
I asked her if she has taken any yet and she said she already had 3 of them and its only been 4 hours since she got it. I told her to call the doctor and tell him it wasnt working for her and to give her somthing eles and she asked why...
I explained to her that it was the worst thing in the world for someone who takes to much of it. I didnt mean to upset her but she told me that she was able to get all the house work done and the dishes and she even cleaned out her car today, it seemed to give her all the energy in the world. (her exact words)
After i told her not to take it anymore she got aittle upset and told me to try one. I was half tempted to grab it and swallow, but i just simply explained the problom i am having right now and that it would be wrong for me to do that and still look my fiancee in the eyes when he got home from work.
She actually had the nerve to tell me that i was the one who got addicted to the pill and she was better than that and she new nomatter how much she took, it wouldnt become addicting to her.
This girl has been my friend for sooo many years and it kind of hurt. It hurt in 2 different ways.
1. It didnt feel very good for her to be so ruid to me about my problom. She said she would have never of known had i not told her.
2. It also hurts because this is somone that i can see it become habbit forming to. She never one time said anything about it taking away the pain in her back, she just kept saying how much she got done today, and how much energy it gave her.
Should i be upset, or should i try to talk to her again about this??? Well, it dosnt matter if i should be upset or not, i already am, but i am confused about my feelings. Anyone want to help me sort them out???
Thanks in advance, FRIEND (Christina)
christina,
I am afraid that your friend got very defensive and there might be a reason behind it... maybe this isnt the first time that she has had a problem.... I dont know many people except teenagers experiementing that would just off the bat take 3 pain pills. First most people who havent already had some sort of a tolerance couldnt handle it .. either there stomach or from a central nervous system... like sleeping or complete anxiety... it would all depend on if they were 5/500, 7.5/500, or 10/500. at any rate...
I understand your being hurt... you were trying to be helpful and also trying to share your current issues with someone you could trust... this was a big step and you just got shot down... I am sorry... some people dont understand.... you just need to keep trying to find someone that does... and will help...
as far as continuing to talk to her about this particular issue .. I would say no not unless there is an opening.. you are too new in recovery to put your self in this possition... if she asks for help then point her in the right direction but other than that.. she may try at some point to get you to do it again to make herself not seem like she is doing anything wrong.... just a warning .. I have seen it happen..
Pat yourself on the back.. you took some very big steps today.. first telling her but most important ... by turning her down when she offered you one...
that is huge...
Stick with it... God bless..
Teresa
I am afraid that your friend got very defensive and there might be a reason behind it... maybe this isnt the first time that she has had a problem.... I dont know many people except teenagers experiementing that would just off the bat take 3 pain pills. First most people who havent already had some sort of a tolerance couldnt handle it .. either there stomach or from a central nervous system... like sleeping or complete anxiety... it would all depend on if they were 5/500, 7.5/500, or 10/500. at any rate...
I understand your being hurt... you were trying to be helpful and also trying to share your current issues with someone you could trust... this was a big step and you just got shot down... I am sorry... some people dont understand.... you just need to keep trying to find someone that does... and will help...
as far as continuing to talk to her about this particular issue .. I would say no not unless there is an opening.. you are too new in recovery to put your self in this possition... if she asks for help then point her in the right direction but other than that.. she may try at some point to get you to do it again to make herself not seem like she is doing anything wrong.... just a warning .. I have seen it happen..
Pat yourself on the back.. you took some very big steps today.. first telling her but most important ... by turning her down when she offered you one...
that is huge...
Stick with it... God bless..
Teresa
Hey chris, ok this is how you spell Vicodin, haha.. just my two cents.. luv ya, jazzy..:)
thanks for writing back..
You want to know tha sad part about the turning her down, and i guess, about the whole stopping pills thing. I should be stopping because i want to and because of my KIDS . But im not. Its sad but true, its because of my loving fiancee. He has given so much to the boys and i and he never askes for anything in return. He even told me that he didnt want to see me going threw the w/d and said he would help in anyway that he could. He has been a great support and with out him i wouldnt be doing this at all.
I just feel sometimes that im a bad mom because of that exact reason and i feel kind of depressed about it. I tried to explain this to him the other night, and he said i was a great mom. My kids are never late to school no matter what and there always dressed and look nice, teeth always seem to get brushed and hair is always done. he thinks im great because of the fact that i can do that and still work a full time job.(it might only be waiting tables, but its still a job) and i manage somehow to keep the house picked up and dinner on the table every night. NO WONDER i keep using pills to get me threw the day. But there was a time when i could do it without the pills and i need to consentrait on that right now.
Thats why i felt so good to come clean with my friend about my problom, because for the first time in a year, i finally feel some control. Even if its only the mental part that i am getting back , its still something.
Thanks for listening, i know i write long post, but i have nothing but baby and toddler talk all day long. I need to unleash sometimes.
Chrisitna(friend)
You want to know tha sad part about the turning her down, and i guess, about the whole stopping pills thing. I should be stopping because i want to and because of my KIDS . But im not. Its sad but true, its because of my loving fiancee. He has given so much to the boys and i and he never askes for anything in return. He even told me that he didnt want to see me going threw the w/d and said he would help in anyway that he could. He has been a great support and with out him i wouldnt be doing this at all.
I just feel sometimes that im a bad mom because of that exact reason and i feel kind of depressed about it. I tried to explain this to him the other night, and he said i was a great mom. My kids are never late to school no matter what and there always dressed and look nice, teeth always seem to get brushed and hair is always done. he thinks im great because of the fact that i can do that and still work a full time job.(it might only be waiting tables, but its still a job) and i manage somehow to keep the house picked up and dinner on the table every night. NO WONDER i keep using pills to get me threw the day. But there was a time when i could do it without the pills and i need to consentrait on that right now.
Thats why i felt so good to come clean with my friend about my problom, because for the first time in a year, i finally feel some control. Even if its only the mental part that i am getting back , its still something.
Thanks for listening, i know i write long post, but i have nothing but baby and toddler talk all day long. I need to unleash sometimes.
Chrisitna(friend)
Jaz, i realy dont are if i spelled one word wrong. Is that all you got out of that story, my miss-spelled words. Come on give me some advise. (just kidding about the first line)ha, ha , ha .
By the way, i miss not talking to you. How have you been? Still going to your moms for thanksgiving??? I think thats great but, i have been reading your post and 1 said you were going and the next 1 said you were cooking. What are you doing??? I wish i could cook a Thanksgiving dinner. If you are cooking, i give ya alot of credit.
Whrit back soon, Your friend, \
Christina
By the way, i miss not talking to you. How have you been? Still going to your moms for thanksgiving??? I think thats great but, i have been reading your post and 1 said you were going and the next 1 said you were cooking. What are you doing??? I wish i could cook a Thanksgiving dinner. If you are cooking, i give ya alot of credit.
Whrit back soon, Your friend, \
Christina
Hey girly, i am for the 1st time staying home! and cooking myself and yes i got something out of your story, i was just being funny is all, i miss you to!:)
look on a serious note, please dont feel bad about the deppresion and all that stuff it goes with the addiction, you body wants drugs, all of our bodies do , but we are allergic to DRUGS! so, do not fret this shall to pass my dear, ok, ok....
I am your friend and here for ya anytime, weve talked u know that, soo. oh and the doctor thing is a long story i will e-mail you about that later, write back soon, your friend, jazzy, lol...
look on a serious note, please dont feel bad about the deppresion and all that stuff it goes with the addiction, you body wants drugs, all of our bodies do , but we are allergic to DRUGS! so, do not fret this shall to pass my dear, ok, ok....
I am your friend and here for ya anytime, weve talked u know that, soo. oh and the doctor thing is a long story i will e-mail you about that later, write back soon, your friend, jazzy, lol...
Christina, what happened to your neighbor? Did she get out of jail? Will you need to move? (just kidding). You owe me and Rachel an update....lol. Take care, much love, Kat
your right, i do owe you an update. But i havent herd from rachal in awhile. But if you want to know its not that interesting of an ending. She ended up going in front of the judge and he gave her probation and she has to attend meetings for awhile i guess. Im not realy sure what eles happened. She still will not talk to me.
Thanks for checking in though, that was nice.
Christina.
Thanks for checking in though, that was nice.
Christina.
Hey Christina, actually that was a pretty cool ending! She got help. That's a big deal in my book. Maybe in time she will come to apreciate what happened and reach out to you as a friend. That's the best ending I can think of. I haven't heard from Rachel either. Where are you girl? How's that brochitis? Much love, Kat
Kat and Christina:
You guys are so sweet, thanks for asking about me. I had to work today, get my hair done, lol, and my sister is a YEAR sober today and I gave her a cake and led the meeting. She was actually my eskimo for coming back into the program after my ego bursting relapse on pain meds. I am very grateful today. Kat, that was funny asking about the neighbor, lol. You made me smile, both of you did. Christina, congrats on the taper, I never was able to do that. Keep going you'll be done with those nasty pills soon. It's not over til it's over. One profound friend of mine that I used with, who is two years clean, told me when I was crying about the pain of coming off of those pills, "you can't stop taking pills until you stop taking pills." That made a lot of sense to me. Take care and Happy Thanksgiving.
Rachel
You guys are so sweet, thanks for asking about me. I had to work today, get my hair done, lol, and my sister is a YEAR sober today and I gave her a cake and led the meeting. She was actually my eskimo for coming back into the program after my ego bursting relapse on pain meds. I am very grateful today. Kat, that was funny asking about the neighbor, lol. You made me smile, both of you did. Christina, congrats on the taper, I never was able to do that. Keep going you'll be done with those nasty pills soon. It's not over til it's over. One profound friend of mine that I used with, who is two years clean, told me when I was crying about the pain of coming off of those pills, "you can't stop taking pills until you stop taking pills." That made a lot of sense to me. Take care and Happy Thanksgiving.
Rachel
Kat:
I've turned a corner on the Bronchitis. I'm actually feeling better. I am on my third role of antibiotics and these seem to be working. I actually had to have a culture because I wasn't getting any better. Thanks for asking.
Rachel
I've turned a corner on the Bronchitis. I'm actually feeling better. I am on my third role of antibiotics and these seem to be working. I actually had to have a culture because I wasn't getting any better. Thanks for asking.
Rachel
Rachel!!! Hey you! Boy, you had the worst case of bronchitis ever. I've had it pretty bad before, but you have me beat by a mile. I can only imagine how lousy you've felt. "you can't stop taking pills till you stop taking pills" how cool is that? You should start a thread with that line. I know somebody I'm going to say that to. I'm really glad you shared that. Sometimes the simplest statement is the most profound. HUGE congradulations for your sister!!!! Isn't life good sometimes? I liked Christina's ending, didn't you? Christina, I kept an eye out for the finale, when it didn't come I just had to ask.
Rachel, the two best things I heard today came from you and Kerry. Your taking pills statement, and her baby laughing in her sleep. It brought back memories of my babies and how they did sweet things like that. I always thought it was cute when they sucked in their sleep too, tiny mouths all puckered up. I always loved the way their hands looked too, little dimples with no knuckles yet. Nothing gets the heart strings plucked like a baby, lol. Much love, Kat
Rachel, the two best things I heard today came from you and Kerry. Your taking pills statement, and her baby laughing in her sleep. It brought back memories of my babies and how they did sweet things like that. I always thought it was cute when they sucked in their sleep too, tiny mouths all puckered up. I always loved the way their hands looked too, little dimples with no knuckles yet. Nothing gets the heart strings plucked like a baby, lol. Much love, Kat
Kat:
I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday.
Love,
Rachel
I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday.
Love,
Rachel
