Well, the s**t hit the fan yesterday. I grabbed my dog (yes, my dog) and together we went to my first N.A. meeting. My dog was the only one I felt at the time I could confide in for support. Went very well. I met a fellow nurse there who told me about a medical professionals group that I went to today that went very well too!
Last night, I told my husband. He was relieved, because he thought I was having an affair! I turned all my drugs over to him, and he told me he would be there for me and we would conquer this together!!! I still can't believe it. I never would have thought. I was so ashamed and embarrassed too. I'm waiting for the addiction doctor to call me back, and for now my husband put me on a tapering schedule.
Well folks, this is IT for me. I am not going back, ever again. The support out there is outstanding, by the way. People really care. I strongly suggest N.A. or A.A. to get started. And it's free.
One thing is for sure, we are definitely not alone. The room was so full, the group had to split into two and move one group outdoors. I'd say it's reaching epidemic proportions.
One day at a time everyone....
Mimi
Mimi, hey! That is great! I am so glad you confided in your husband and he is supporting you in this. It will make a huge difference in your life to have someone in your home who knows and is willing to help!
Glad you found some good support outside, too. You are well on your way. I am so proud of how far you have come in just a few days! Awesome! Keep up the good work and let us know how it goes!
Take care and keep posting!
Carol
Mimi that's outstanding news -- way to go -- getting honest is such an important step, hard but so worth it. So glad your husband is being supportive, and that your NA experience was positive. There is so much information there, support, tools for change.... Your building a great foundation for a new life. M.
Mimi, I know that feeling all too well. I struggled about telling my wife and then figured I'd wait until I was clean before I told her. Imagine my surprise when she totally supported me and said I should have told her right off the bat.
I guess a lot of us are so ashamed we dont want to tell our SO.
Glad it worked out well for you and have found some good meetings for support.
JohnDee
I guess a lot of us are so ashamed we dont want to tell our SO.
Glad it worked out well for you and have found some good meetings for support.
JohnDee
Mimi I think that is so great that you can talk & have your husband there to help(with your dogs)(i got 3 kittys that are my comic relief)It is alittle easier when you have your loved ones by you.Good Luck & take Care...mj
Mimi, Way to go!!! You have just did a tremendously hard thing! I should know, I still have not told my wife, I have been clean for 22 days and still I am not ready to tell her. She does not know I ever even took one pill, let alone many daily for almost a year. i think it will sound better to her if I said to her "honey, about six months ago I had this little problem" that will put me in the june-july time frame.
You have made it past a huge hurdle, for me quitting the pills may have been easy compared to admitting I had to quit the pills, if that makes any sense.
Best regards,
Tom
You have made it past a huge hurdle, for me quitting the pills may have been easy compared to admitting I had to quit the pills, if that makes any sense.
Best regards,
Tom
Makes sense to me, Tom. I still haven't told my wife of this last run....and its been almost 8 months. Not that I'm hiding my addiction from her, just my last failure. If I could admit it without going into the details, that would make it easier, but that's not how it works....the questions inevitably (and understandably) come....and the details would scare the **** out of her. Like you, it seems like it would ease the fear and anxiety if I were to be able to say that I've been clean for x number of months or years....
Yeah None4me, questions like how many did you take?.......... how much did you pay for one pill?...........then she wips out the handy dandy calculator and figures I spent.....WHAT $12,000 dollars. The next question would be..... Why is she driving a 5 year old car. You know what I mean. Actually I am not being fair to her, she would probably take it very well and support me in anyway I needed. The problem is the guilt I will feel making her deal with this.
Best regards,
Tom
Best regards,
Tom
Oh Guys, I don't know how you both carry it around.........Please make sure that if you are not going to say anything yet, that you don't beat yourselves up about it......Keeping things close to the heart is tough to do sometimes, this is one thing I know about.
Hi,
I wouldn't say "failed". The guilt does eat at us, it did me, but the second I came clean with my relapse a weight was lifted, it was a very freeing moment.
I called and told my sponsor, who already knew lol, and I got my hand up at a meeting, and the hardest one for me was telling my dad. He's a first timer, and I didn't wanna admit I had "failed" to him. I felt like I "failed" him. He just said failing is giving up, you don't fail unless you quit trying. Surrendering to our disease isn't failing, it's admiting a problem that we're gonna stand up to and fight.
Take care........................................God bless.....................................Bob
I wouldn't say "failed". The guilt does eat at us, it did me, but the second I came clean with my relapse a weight was lifted, it was a very freeing moment.
I called and told my sponsor, who already knew lol, and I got my hand up at a meeting, and the hardest one for me was telling my dad. He's a first timer, and I didn't wanna admit I had "failed" to him. I felt like I "failed" him. He just said failing is giving up, you don't fail unless you quit trying. Surrendering to our disease isn't failing, it's admiting a problem that we're gonna stand up to and fight.
Take care........................................God bless.....................................Bob
