Ok, I probably have no right even being on here, cause I still use and abuse. But I want to quit. Even went to my Pain Mgmt. Dr. yesterday and said just that.
He has lowered my prescribed dosage and I fessed up to him that I was getting them from another Dr. also. He's sending something to that Dr. to tell him not to prescribe to me anymore, which is totally humilitating, as he has been my family Dr. for years. Now I'll probably reward him by never going back.
Anyway, I'm day one into just a major reduction and I feel like hell. I can't do rehab or cold turkey, because I can't afford to loose my job or miss work at all.
Has anyone tried this and been sucessfull?
Just the facts: Was taking 4-6 ms contins (60's) per day and alot of hydro's (about 400 per month). Now one ms contin and 6 per day hydro's to start. I know it sounds like alot, but not compared to what I was doing.
This all from a car accident where I broke my back and hip leg. I know I'll hurt, but atleast I'll feel. On the pills, I feel nothing.
Anyone able to relate or advise?
anybody able to relate---- i think we all are able to relate - I know i am. I am in Day 3 of weaning off this wonderful ugly hydrocodone pills and i feel like jumping out of my skin it's a horrible feeling. dont want to be near anyone or talk to anywhere or think about anything but these pills and how they make me feel and what i have allowed them to do to me. So YES i can relate. i just found this site two days ago and i have been running to it every chance i get. it feels like a lifeline to me andmy body just wants to hide in a corner and rock away to somewhere. i feel really awful but i am not giving up now or the last four dayswould be for naught. So please dont you give up now either. we are all here to help you. and it sounds like some really wonderful special people are on board that are going through the same thing and have been through the same thing. be wherever you want to be and i support you for one!
crystal
crystal
Dear Jackie,
As was said before me, I think we all can relate. And you do belong here.
My story is under the title "Vicodin addict needs help" if you want to read it.
I have never taken oxycontin and I thank God I never had it presented to me. Otherwise I am positive I would be fighting that beast too. So my thoughts are with you.
But I was taking almost as many Hydrocodones as you were. I would get a supply of 60 and they would be gone within 3-4 days at most. And they were the strongest hydro, Lortab.
I quit cold turkey monday morning and I feel like I cant ever remember feeling before. It is horrible for anyone trying to break this addiction.
I have not tried tapering......as awful as I fee today I wish that I would have just done the tapering. But if I take them now after being off them for almost two days now, it would be a huge mistake for me.
So I wish you luck. And you are in my heart.
As was said before me, I think we all can relate. And you do belong here.
My story is under the title "Vicodin addict needs help" if you want to read it.
I have never taken oxycontin and I thank God I never had it presented to me. Otherwise I am positive I would be fighting that beast too. So my thoughts are with you.
But I was taking almost as many Hydrocodones as you were. I would get a supply of 60 and they would be gone within 3-4 days at most. And they were the strongest hydro, Lortab.
I quit cold turkey monday morning and I feel like I cant ever remember feeling before. It is horrible for anyone trying to break this addiction.
I have not tried tapering......as awful as I fee today I wish that I would have just done the tapering. But if I take them now after being off them for almost two days now, it would be a huge mistake for me.
So I wish you luck. And you are in my heart.
Thank you, Crystal. I think (and it is so hard to think, right now) that everyone here is mostly off the pills, and I feel like a jerk for taking the amt. I am. But, I don't see any other way.
My doctor says I should't get off completely, but then my visits to him are money in his pocket, so he would. I know I'll hurt, but life without any feelings
(love, sympathy, happiness, sadness, humor and even pain) is not living. That's my major motivation. Because I do have a wonderful husband who loves me so much, a daughter in grad school on a full schlorship, both my parents are still alive and healthy, a really good job and most of all a one year old granddaughter. And I am wasting it all away. I should be the luckiest woman in the world, but I feel like a low life scum.
My doctor says I should't get off completely, but then my visits to him are money in his pocket, so he would. I know I'll hurt, but life without any feelings
(love, sympathy, happiness, sadness, humor and even pain) is not living. That's my major motivation. Because I do have a wonderful husband who loves me so much, a daughter in grad school on a full schlorship, both my parents are still alive and healthy, a really good job and most of all a one year old granddaughter. And I am wasting it all away. I should be the luckiest woman in the world, but I feel like a low life scum.
I did read your story, Newbeginnings. I think you are so admirable. All of you who cold turkey it. If this doesn't work for me, I know that will be my next step.
Thanks so much for just talking to me. It really, really helps to know you are not alone. I love this site, too.
Thanks so much for just talking to me. It really, really helps to know you are not alone. I love this site, too.
You are a very lucky woman it sounds to me. you are surrounded by love. Did you kill someone or something - that would help to make you a low life scum. because you are addicted to pills does not make you scum, it makes you human. Love yourself and keep on trying. You will succeed and feel the happiness that you so deserve. We all want that for YOU.
crystal
crystal
Hello ,I have recentlly quit all the pills (mostly o.c./ percs) As i can understand feeling only angry,and depression from the meds. After years of taking them by a doctors orders and from the street I just wanted to feel happy once more not just n umb.two weeks into my detox.feeling better but still fear life without the meds?.......Hope I can find the way ....pill free.... I am trying its not easy.
Hello Everyone,
Just Jackie, been there where your at, and doing it now, same thing, car accident. I was on alot of Oxy. Needless to say went to a Pain Mgmt Specialist and now taking 4 Norcos per day. It does not at all take all of the pain away, but learning to manage it w/clear head. There are others that are on pain meds, but we don't like to say too much, because, so many trying to get off of them, or staying clean. I can't say much I am in a relapse right now, it will be a one week one. But after Sunday will be with you, same boat that is. I will be able to be more supportive (right now feel guilty and feel like a hypercrite), but there are people that can help you wean as your doing, and I hope you can find the support on the board. Take care, and Best Wishes!!!
Just Jackie, been there where your at, and doing it now, same thing, car accident. I was on alot of Oxy. Needless to say went to a Pain Mgmt Specialist and now taking 4 Norcos per day. It does not at all take all of the pain away, but learning to manage it w/clear head. There are others that are on pain meds, but we don't like to say too much, because, so many trying to get off of them, or staying clean. I can't say much I am in a relapse right now, it will be a one week one. But after Sunday will be with you, same boat that is. I will be able to be more supportive (right now feel guilty and feel like a hypercrite), but there are people that can help you wean as your doing, and I hope you can find the support on the board. Take care, and Best Wishes!!!
Dear Jackie, I don't imagine this place is just for people clean and sober by any means. Let me say up front that I think you have a lot of guts to get on here and be so honest with your story. I know the hell you are going through now and that it is all even tougher because you can not go into rehab righ now. You are having a tough time and I have been there sweetie, but I was able to go to at least detox at a rehab center. One idea that occurs to me is to look into the possibility of outpatient detox, which would probably mean getting on subutex or suboxone to get you through withdrawals, and still be able to go to work and live your life at home. There's a post from Dr. Joel Nathan on this board right now about it. You would have to find a doctor who is licensed to prescribe the suboxone, which is used in most clinics now for detox, the technical name is buprenorphine, so look it up now, and then look on this site to find a post entitled Buprenorphine....I can't remember exactly what, but I think you will find some information there. I am suggesting this, because a lot of people don't know that it IS possible to detox at home, under the supervision of a Doctor who can prescribe this medicine, and it might be just your answer, instead of having to wean yourself and taper off, because your body will still give you trouble because of the amount you've been on. Look into it ok, and get back to us. I am on suboxone, myself because thank God I live in Atlanta and my doctor readily offered to put me on it after having failed at inpatient detox too many times. Listen, good luck, let us hear back
I can't even talk/type, I'm feeling so emotional after reading all ya'lls kind words. Yesterday was only day one of the many tough days ahead, and I didn't even know about this sight. I had no idea there were so many like me out there. I have been alone with my "shame" for years. I'm just overwhelmed, and greatful and most of all encouraged. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!
just jackie - how are you doing today? are you still with us?
best wishes - you still holding on too?
best wishes - you still holding on too?
Crystal, thanks for asking, well I just finished a 6 day relapse, after 3 weeks off Oxycontin, I know tomorrow will be rough, know the drill, but hoping it's not as bad, emotionally it's awful when you relapse, well maybe only for me, just feel guilty, know it's not worth it, and ask yourself why? so tomorrow, I maybe on the board, for some inspiration and been running kids and went grocery shopping, so preparing lololo, I know this is not funny, but I am trying to be optimistic. Inside scared, angry at myself, and sad. I have my music ready, and computer for the insomnia and sweats. Needless to say, I am hanging in there, and so happy for you guys, each day it gets better, my head wants to be clear again so bad. Keep posting Crystal and Just Jackie, and everyone. My thoughts are with you, keep it going, your doing it!!!!!
Guest, please don't beat yourself up for relapsing. In my education recovery group we have been told that 90% of people in recovery relapse, often 3 times. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you just have to start over. Try to go to meetings as often as you can, this will help alot, and post here as often as you want, we will support you and will never condem you.
My prayers are with you.
Sharon
My prayers are with you.
Sharon
Hey to all. Yes, I'm still with you all. I think I'm falling into the "Be careful what you wish for" catagory. I said I wanted to feel again, and boy do I feel. I feel sick, I hurt, I am exhausted, the anxiety is unbelievable. Everything aches and I want to just jump out of my skin!! I can feel, alright. This just wasn't exactly what I was hoping for. . .
I do want to say that I am so amazed and so greatful to have found this site and all you people. This is all such a God-send at a time when it is soooo needed. What great poeple, great advice and a plain great refuge from the heebie-jeebies. This helps me take my mind off me just reading everyones stories.
I haven't given in yet, though it is so tempting, as I have them in my purse with me at all times. But I also have a picture of my husband holding our granddaughter and I pull it out, and think real hard about them and what I have missed out on and could miss out on, with every pill I abuse. So far it's worked. Day three, at one day at a time. Thanks everyone.
I do want to say that I am so amazed and so greatful to have found this site and all you people. This is all such a God-send at a time when it is soooo needed. What great poeple, great advice and a plain great refuge from the heebie-jeebies. This helps me take my mind off me just reading everyones stories.
I haven't given in yet, though it is so tempting, as I have them in my purse with me at all times. But I also have a picture of my husband holding our granddaughter and I pull it out, and think real hard about them and what I have missed out on and could miss out on, with every pill I abuse. So far it's worked. Day three, at one day at a time. Thanks everyone.
Its been mentioned but it needs it again. Haven't you all thought about using Subutex (buprenorphine)? I was on methadone (the most addicting drug made (or grown) like many, and have been on a Buprenorphine program for almost four weeks. Well its a godsend for most whom have tried it. Heroin, oxies, vics, methadone all can detox without the worst or even the bad part of the withdraws. This site will show where the doctors are that can prescribe it. Its
http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_l...ator/index.html
Give it a shot. Everyone on this post seems to be suffering too much.
the BOSS
http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_l...ator/index.html
Give it a shot. Everyone on this post seems to be suffering too much.
the BOSS
dear just jackie - you are funny - your feeling again but not what you have in mind - are there any feelings you are experiencing that are positive - like perhaps a clearer head, a smile inside and out, the warmth of the sun or a person being nice to you? i hope so, if you are can you focus on them. and one silly question - why do you still have the pills in your pocketbook? is there a reason, if you dont mind me asking. Good luck you've come this far, dont make it for naught.
and thee sub remark up above, thank you for caring about our suffering - it does sound like it works for alot of people, but eventually do you have to wean of that and then get the side affect, or can you just stop when you want to after the other drug is out of your system?
thanks
crystal
and thee sub remark up above, thank you for caring about our suffering - it does sound like it works for alot of people, but eventually do you have to wean of that and then get the side affect, or can you just stop when you want to after the other drug is out of your system?
thanks
crystal
Just Jackie,
You are doing great, keep looking at the picture of your beautiful grandchild. We all know what your going through, it does get better. Keep us posted. Take care and Best Wishes
You are doing great, keep looking at the picture of your beautiful grandchild. We all know what your going through, it does get better. Keep us posted. Take care and Best Wishes
