Stages of Change
1) PRECONTEMPLATION STAGE
"IT ISN'T THAT WE CAN'T SEE THE SOLUTION. IT IS THAT WE CAN'T SEE THE PROBLEM"
Precontemplators usually show up in therapy because of pressures from others spouses, employers, parents, and courts Resist change. When their problem comes up, they change the topic of conversation. They place responsibility for their problems on factors such as genetic makeup, addition, family, society, destiny, the police, etc.
They feel the situation is HOPELESS.
2) CONTEMPLATION STAGE
"I WANT TO STOP FEELING SO STUCK"
Contemplators acknowledge that they have a problem and begin to think about solving it. Contemplators struggle to understand their problems, to see its causes, and wonder about possible solutions. Many contemplators have indefinite plans to take action within the next few months.
"YOU KNOW YOUR DESTINATION, AND EVEN HOW TO GET THERE, BUT YOU ARE NOT READY TO GO YET"
It is not uncommon for contemplators to tell themselves that some day they are going to change. When contemplators transition to the preparation stage of change, their thinking is clearly marked by two changes. First, they begin to think more about the future than the past. The end of contemplation stage is a time of ANTICIPATION, ACTIVITY, ANXIETY, and EXCITEMENT.
3) PREPARATION STAGE
Most people in the preparation stage are planning to take action and are making the final adjustments before they begin to change their behavior. Have not yet resolved their AMBIVALENCE. Still need a little convincing.
4) ACTION STAGE
Stage where people overtly modify their behavior and their surroundings. Make the move for which they have been preparing. Requires the greatest commitment of time and energy.
CHANGE IS MORE VISIBLE TO OTHERS.
5) MAINTENANCE STAGE
Change never ends with action. Without a strong commitment to maintenance, there will surely be relapse, usually to precontemplation or contemplation stage.
MOST SUCCESSFUL SELF-CHANGERS GO THROUGH THE STAGES THREE OR FOUR TIMES BEFORE THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE CYCLE OF CHANGE WITHOUT AT LEAST ONE SLIP. MOST WILL RETURN TO THE CONTEMPLATION STAGE OF CHANGE. SLIPS GIVE US THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN.
This is just info. not directed at anyone, or anything. Did remind me of me though.
That's really helpful to me Chris. I think I'm at several stages on a number of different issues that have emerged over the past year.
1. Worrying about the woman I love and our kids (detach with love...I think I'm getting there but it's taken too long and I feel I've harmed her. Trying to make amends)
2. Recognising underlying issues of co-dependency (trying to act differently now....not always succeeding)
3. Recignising my own issues with alcohol (part of me accepts it WAS a problem, part of me thinks it was purely situational....part of me knows I've got the isms, some deeply buried, some obvious...alcoholic? Don't know. Don't know if it matters so long as I don't drink and work on the issues that took me to that escape route.....trying to be realistic...not drinking now and feel no need to....but what will life throw at me next?...am I prepared, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually prepared....lol...think not...)
4. Identifying issues of emotional abuse (ie. how it continues to affect MY choices and whether I want to continue making those choices....currently expressing how I feel to all and sundry lol....action is exploring what I need to do to secure deep and lasting changes in me....)
5. Acknowledging physical abuse (ditto...how does that experience shape MY emotions and decisions and do I want to own those or change them....some action recently - expressed my feelings on child abuse to the abuser in a manner that enabled her to maintain her psychological defenses. I will not do her harm, she was doing what she thought was best and had been taught...for my own good...lol..I know she loves me...)
6. (Something says) denying sexual abuse.
And of course I might further along or nowhere near accurate about where I think I might be....my guess is if you think you've cracked it you've got a problem lol....but that might just be me...
I'll think about all this some more but wanted to respond now. Thanks.
1. Worrying about the woman I love and our kids (detach with love...I think I'm getting there but it's taken too long and I feel I've harmed her. Trying to make amends)
2. Recognising underlying issues of co-dependency (trying to act differently now....not always succeeding)
3. Recignising my own issues with alcohol (part of me accepts it WAS a problem, part of me thinks it was purely situational....part of me knows I've got the isms, some deeply buried, some obvious...alcoholic? Don't know. Don't know if it matters so long as I don't drink and work on the issues that took me to that escape route.....trying to be realistic...not drinking now and feel no need to....but what will life throw at me next?...am I prepared, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually prepared....lol...think not...)
4. Identifying issues of emotional abuse (ie. how it continues to affect MY choices and whether I want to continue making those choices....currently expressing how I feel to all and sundry lol....action is exploring what I need to do to secure deep and lasting changes in me....)
5. Acknowledging physical abuse (ditto...how does that experience shape MY emotions and decisions and do I want to own those or change them....some action recently - expressed my feelings on child abuse to the abuser in a manner that enabled her to maintain her psychological defenses. I will not do her harm, she was doing what she thought was best and had been taught...for my own good...lol..I know she loves me...)
6. (Something says) denying sexual abuse.
And of course I might further along or nowhere near accurate about where I think I might be....my guess is if you think you've cracked it you've got a problem lol....but that might just be me...
I'll think about all this some more but wanted to respond now. Thanks.
