Good morning!
I haven't posted, or even read, for the past week due to various issues. I hope everyone is doing well. I, myself, just went thru 6 days of the most hellish of withdrawals. Per usual, I took too much of the pain meds so I ran out. This time my 'plan B' situation didn't work. While I never really have had bad physical wd (I know what to take to ease that part) the mental craving was the ABSOLUTE WORSE EVER. Does that part go away with suboxene? I was running on total "lizard brain", Ya know what I mean? Like we are driven to seek shelter, warmth, food? It felt that driven, ONLY MORE. The leg pain was secondary to my jones to get it just to feel " Normal ", realitively speaking, of course. Finally, yesterday, the situation was resolved. I shouldn't have been driving even, I was so edgy. Anxiety attacks from the 7th level of hell. I didn't start to feel better after the 3rd day like I usually do, i continued to feel worse & worse. Anyone on Sub - does it stop the obsessing? Kee Kee you said somthing about it stopping the merry-go-round of what Dr., how to get them, where to go, etc., etc., etc., ad nausem. I need help. I so obviously can't do this by myself. I see my pain mgmt Dr. Friday. He & I need to have a real heart to heart. I need to not isolate when I'm in that shape, maybe I'd hear something I need to hear. Every road I see out....leads me back. I can't live my life totally wanting something I can't have, If I can't have it, how can I stop wanting it so bad. IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! (And If I can't play the way I want, I'm going to take my ball and go home)! Whatever. Does anyone have any advice on how to ease this mental crave????
Hi lola
I'm sorry the only thing that helped with the mental cravings for me was time, and exploring the reasons why I used in the first place. Once I was able to handle situations without the need to drug myself up, then things began to improve.
From what I read you have chronic pain issues with your leg, so its tough. I hope that you can get that resolved so that you can move forward. I hope you feel better soon.
Michelle
I'm sorry the only thing that helped with the mental cravings for me was time, and exploring the reasons why I used in the first place. Once I was able to handle situations without the need to drug myself up, then things began to improve.
From what I read you have chronic pain issues with your leg, so its tough. I hope that you can get that resolved so that you can move forward. I hope you feel better soon.
Michelle
Hey Michelle:
Thank you for your response. By saying "it took time", how much time? I mean, not exactly but approximately? Did it just gradually get better? Did you have dreams about it? I'm jumping out of my skin and I don't remember it ever being this bad for so long. Usually day 3 is the worst, after that it would get a little easier & better. I do have pain issues so taking it like I'm supposed to is a constant tease. I never realized it would be this hard. A friend of mine has pain issues and has been on these long before my accident. I used to think she was 'lucky' cuz she'd get 90 a month. That's how twisted my thinking is. I mean she has major liver & kidney problems and I'm thinking - wow, what luck! Unbelieveable, right? I used to binge on lortab, take a bunch in a short amount of time, then go without for a while without anything. Much easier than taking less, but more frequently. Much easier. You also mentioned delving into the reasons why you took them, does that help when you stop? I know why I do this, but I've always known why - even when they weren't such a problem. Actually, these were always a problem even from day one when I was 15 and had mono and they gave me tylenol #3. It said take 1 - 2 and I took 4. And it seemed exactly what I needed. I've always run from any kind of pain, and it's not ironic I chose painkillers. I guess the question is - now what?
Thank you for your response. By saying "it took time", how much time? I mean, not exactly but approximately? Did it just gradually get better? Did you have dreams about it? I'm jumping out of my skin and I don't remember it ever being this bad for so long. Usually day 3 is the worst, after that it would get a little easier & better. I do have pain issues so taking it like I'm supposed to is a constant tease. I never realized it would be this hard. A friend of mine has pain issues and has been on these long before my accident. I used to think she was 'lucky' cuz she'd get 90 a month. That's how twisted my thinking is. I mean she has major liver & kidney problems and I'm thinking - wow, what luck! Unbelieveable, right? I used to binge on lortab, take a bunch in a short amount of time, then go without for a while without anything. Much easier than taking less, but more frequently. Much easier. You also mentioned delving into the reasons why you took them, does that help when you stop? I know why I do this, but I've always known why - even when they weren't such a problem. Actually, these were always a problem even from day one when I was 15 and had mono and they gave me tylenol #3. It said take 1 - 2 and I took 4. And it seemed exactly what I needed. I've always run from any kind of pain, and it's not ironic I chose painkillers. I guess the question is - now what?
lola,
I took suboxone. I was taking up to 30 pills a day. I went CT a lot trying to cut down, it never worked. I went to an addiction specialist and took suboxone for 22 days. I used to to get past the horrible WD's with my DOC.
I had 22 days to recover. During that 22 days I took vitamins and ate right. When I stopped taking suboxone I felt great. I had slight cravings every now and then for maybe 3 months. I probably went through what everyone else does after quitting pills.
Suboxone isn't a cure for addiction. Suboxone doesn't make addiction go away. Suboxone isn't the answer, suboxone is a tool.
I know how much you are suffering right now. The first few days are hell. I could take the physical, the mental is a nightmare.
Drink a lot of water to pee the pills out. Eat a lot of fruit and vegetables. Move around, get outside and let the sun shine on your face. Hang on, you will fell better, it will just take time.
Keep fighting this, you are so close to feeling like a normal person again.
Catherine
I took suboxone. I was taking up to 30 pills a day. I went CT a lot trying to cut down, it never worked. I went to an addiction specialist and took suboxone for 22 days. I used to to get past the horrible WD's with my DOC.
I had 22 days to recover. During that 22 days I took vitamins and ate right. When I stopped taking suboxone I felt great. I had slight cravings every now and then for maybe 3 months. I probably went through what everyone else does after quitting pills.
Suboxone isn't a cure for addiction. Suboxone doesn't make addiction go away. Suboxone isn't the answer, suboxone is a tool.
I know how much you are suffering right now. The first few days are hell. I could take the physical, the mental is a nightmare.
Drink a lot of water to pee the pills out. Eat a lot of fruit and vegetables. Move around, get outside and let the sun shine on your face. Hang on, you will fell better, it will just take time.
Keep fighting this, you are so close to feeling like a normal person again.
Catherine
Welcome back!
I know of the hell you talk about I lived it. So did many others before you. You have pain that really is impossible to access right now. You are so fired up on meds that it is not registering properly.
Go here (buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_locator/index.html.) this is a link to physician locator in your area. I think you maybe a good candidate...sounds like you are ready.
Honest Lola...you need to get real down and dirty honest with a good addiction Doctor and take back your life.
Absolutely you can live a quality life...you have to be willing and it is time to surrender. Your plan has not worked....has it?
I am on your side as are many others here. Please call and get an appointment for an assessment, anytime you need to talk to me I am here.
You can email me off the board if you wish....keekee199@yahoo.ca
I know of the hell you talk about I lived it. So did many others before you. You have pain that really is impossible to access right now. You are so fired up on meds that it is not registering properly.
Go here (buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/bwns_locator/index.html.) this is a link to physician locator in your area. I think you maybe a good candidate...sounds like you are ready.
Honest Lola...you need to get real down and dirty honest with a good addiction Doctor and take back your life.
Absolutely you can live a quality life...you have to be willing and it is time to surrender. Your plan has not worked....has it?
I am on your side as are many others here. Please call and get an appointment for an assessment, anytime you need to talk to me I am here.
You can email me off the board if you wish....keekee199@yahoo.ca
Hi there
I am a family member of a recovered addict. She used to use about 5000 pills a month, from painkillers to antiepiletic drugs.
She went through rehabilitation in 2005 from January to August before she could say that she has succesfully rehabilitated.
She was initially in hospital for 2 weeks after which she was discharged due to the fact that her medical aid was depleted. She recovered in a house where people were smoking something they call buttons. She reduced her tablets gradually and had severe withdrawal simptoms for months. It came and went and she was admitted to hospital a few times as she fitted and had to be rushed to hospital. In hospital not much was done, since she was an addict and I think people alsp thought she might deserve what she's getting.
She had severe withdrawal where she could hardly walk, got fits and that her neck went into spasms were she could not keep focus and eventually passed out. She was under no medical care, with no support system. Her children has been taken away from her. At first her prayers were that she wants to survive for her children, but then later she started prayer that she would survive. All that kept her going was to think about why she's doing this and that other people had survived this.
Be sure that she has survived and 18 months later she is packed in her profession and she is well and her 2 children are back in her care.
Keep trying, keep praying. You will make it. She was virtually declared by doctors as dying and even if she should recover (which to them was not a possobility) she wouls have severe brain damage. She has not!
Keep hoping. You can get through this.
God Bless.
Lize
I am a family member of a recovered addict. She used to use about 5000 pills a month, from painkillers to antiepiletic drugs.
She went through rehabilitation in 2005 from January to August before she could say that she has succesfully rehabilitated.
She was initially in hospital for 2 weeks after which she was discharged due to the fact that her medical aid was depleted. She recovered in a house where people were smoking something they call buttons. She reduced her tablets gradually and had severe withdrawal simptoms for months. It came and went and she was admitted to hospital a few times as she fitted and had to be rushed to hospital. In hospital not much was done, since she was an addict and I think people alsp thought she might deserve what she's getting.
She had severe withdrawal where she could hardly walk, got fits and that her neck went into spasms were she could not keep focus and eventually passed out. She was under no medical care, with no support system. Her children has been taken away from her. At first her prayers were that she wants to survive for her children, but then later she started prayer that she would survive. All that kept her going was to think about why she's doing this and that other people had survived this.
Be sure that she has survived and 18 months later she is packed in her profession and she is well and her 2 children are back in her care.
Keep trying, keep praying. You will make it. She was virtually declared by doctors as dying and even if she should recover (which to them was not a possobility) she wouls have severe brain damage. She has not!
Keep hoping. You can get through this.
God Bless.
Lize
Lola,
Catherine always has such great advice.....everything she said I would agree with.
Me personally I was on 20-30 Norco Hydros a day for 2 years......i went from that straight to a 8 mg suboxone a day for a couple weeks tapering quickly down to 1 mg over the last month.....I wish i had done a slower taper maybe as the w/ds are pretty bad coming off the sub...but I am glad I chose to do sub since I couldnt handle the intense cravings and the temp to do hydros again......thats another benefit to sub is that its a partial opiod agonist so it kicks regular opiates off your receptors meaning that they wont give you the high feeling that they normally would.
i would agree that sub is a tool, not a solution as Catherine said in her post.
Hope this is helpful..hang in there!
Bri
I agree that sub is a tool not a solution as ZCatherine
Catherine always has such great advice.....everything she said I would agree with.
Me personally I was on 20-30 Norco Hydros a day for 2 years......i went from that straight to a 8 mg suboxone a day for a couple weeks tapering quickly down to 1 mg over the last month.....I wish i had done a slower taper maybe as the w/ds are pretty bad coming off the sub...but I am glad I chose to do sub since I couldnt handle the intense cravings and the temp to do hydros again......thats another benefit to sub is that its a partial opiod agonist so it kicks regular opiates off your receptors meaning that they wont give you the high feeling that they normally would.
i would agree that sub is a tool, not a solution as Catherine said in her post.
Hope this is helpful..hang in there!
Bri
I agree that sub is a tool not a solution as ZCatherine
Hey Lola,
I can't really say for sure how long it took for the mental crap to let up, but it was probably around a month or so. I have RA so chronic pain is constant problem for me, but I can't take narcotics responsibly so they are no longer a option at this point. I never took them for pain anyway. I took them to justify feeling sorry for myself. The "why me's" and wanting to be like everyone else, and a doctor willing to give me what I wanted was my downfall. I have accepted that I can't change certain things about my life, like my disease, but I can change how I look at it. It could be much worse.
Sub might be an option for you. I don't know anything about it, so I can't really say. I hope you find something that works for you. Take care!
Michelle
I can't really say for sure how long it took for the mental crap to let up, but it was probably around a month or so. I have RA so chronic pain is constant problem for me, but I can't take narcotics responsibly so they are no longer a option at this point. I never took them for pain anyway. I took them to justify feeling sorry for myself. The "why me's" and wanting to be like everyone else, and a doctor willing to give me what I wanted was my downfall. I have accepted that I can't change certain things about my life, like my disease, but I can change how I look at it. It could be much worse.
Sub might be an option for you. I don't know anything about it, so I can't really say. I hope you find something that works for you. Take care!
Michelle
Hi Lize,
Thanks for posting that! I would like to say that Wow that is a boatload of drugs that she was taking...but you know what...nothing shocks me anymore.
I am so happy that she made it...sounds like she has a hell of time. It sickens me when I hear that in this day and age....we North Americans...are discharged and left to our own devices because of Insurance.
You would think we were in the third world.
Anyway...god bless you and her and her kids for making it...what a great story!
Thanks for posting that! I would like to say that Wow that is a boatload of drugs that she was taking...but you know what...nothing shocks me anymore.
I am so happy that she made it...sounds like she has a hell of time. It sickens me when I hear that in this day and age....we North Americans...are discharged and left to our own devices because of Insurance.
You would think we were in the third world.
Anyway...god bless you and her and her kids for making it...what a great story!
