I was thinking today just how evil drugs are. I had the day off and had such big plans for what I wanted to do. After throwing in some wash and taking care of the new kitten and doggie, I logged online. After emailing for awhile I wanted to"get started". I ended up in bed. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself. I only laid down for 45 minutes. But I didn't do one damn thing I intended to do. I was laying there thinking about how f*(<d up drugs are. How I'm thinking that if I had a couple of pills I would surely get started. How now I'm thinking that I can't accomplish much because of PAWS or whatever. I wish I never got involved with drugs. What must it be like to get up every day and not have to think of all this stuff. Just get up and live. I felt that I would never touch alcohol again when I quit 21 years ago. I never did. For me it was "out of the question". I could not drink. With the pills I never got to that point. I never got to where it was totally out of the question. I think today I might have reached that verdict. I hope so anyway. I know we can never say never. But I realized today just what the drugs have done to me. They took away the person I was growing into as a young adult. They gave me a mask to put on and I wore it for many years. Now I feel like a young adult just starting the jouney to find myself. And I'm 48. I hate drugs!! NO MORE GLAMORIZING. They did not enhance my life they messed it up and took years away. I hate drugs!!
Oh Alice, tomorrow is a new day. You are feeling the same exact things I have been feeling. I had my second one on one yesterday and he told me that it was ok if I'm not superwoman. Yea, we may start feeling better but that doesn't mean we have to tackle everything that needs it. That's one of my problems. I tend for focus on what needs to be done instread of being happy and grateful at what I had accomplished. If there is something little that you feel you could accomplish today, then do it. And think how much better you will feel when it's done. If you just don't feel like messing with it today, that's ok, too. It isn't going anywhere. See you may not have gotten accomplished what you would have liked to, but you did so well for the day because you did not use!!!!! That should mean for than anything.
Be easy on yourself. You're just starting this new life, and it might take a little time to get accustomed to. You've come such a long way, don't let anything like this bring you down. Take care and look forward to what the new day tomorrow has to offer.
Be easy on yourself. You're just starting this new life, and it might take a little time to get accustomed to. You've come such a long way, don't let anything like this bring you down. Take care and look forward to what the new day tomorrow has to offer.
