We're heroin addicts.........well most of us here.
Is it me or is us people that have grown kids.........or supposed GROWN children are we getting some crap or what...........maybe sympathy loves company and I been wah wahing like a little baby about my daughter for a year now.............but honestly I do not want ANYONE else to suffer this pain.
It breaks my heart that Jack's son went and moved off and ain't even called his dad...............his dad raised him.............then my Tres she ain't even posted, but if you knew what them "kids" are putting my friend through they couldn't even make it into a Sunday Night Movie Of The Week.
What's my point............this happens to alot of parents..........now just me and my opinion............for me anyway GUILT...........and I know Tres got it 100 fold too...........and maybe Jack has got some.
Guess what??????????? We are SORRY.............we are all clean and sober..........we're only human beings for heavens sake............yo, we're all working on it.............maybe we can blame OUR PARENTS for every wrong thing we did................MAYBE it's all my parents fault I used heroin......how about that.............I hate these emotions between anger and pain and fear and loss and at the end of it all comes guess what?
I was a decent damn mother...........then I was a rotten mother.............but I didn't go freaking leave like that country western girls mom..........and I ain't faulting that lady cause I don't know her...........I mean are we that UGLY, MEAN, AND LOUSY that these kids don't even text ya the hell back?
Guess what? Too bad.............too bad...............too bad..........I understand everyone needs time............their own time to heal..........ya know what it all just makes me sick..........all of it...........and yeah I'm a heroin addict........too bad..............too damn bad............I'm sorry..........so too bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh Bryn--BIG HUGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSS I am so sorry you are going through this--id like to give that daughter of your a peice of my mind. All I can say is i put my mom through the same thing and she just had mental issues,My mom just stayed steady and was there when i fell to pick me up--many times--sure she put me in my place too, and evebtually i came around -its taken a few years, but now we are the best of friends so be patient-keep showing her love--but don'tlet her be a little a** give her the space she desires-let her come to you-kinda like with men-the less you call the more they want you...you don't deserve all this--we love you so much--you are like one of my very favorite people in the whole world- i look for your name when i come to this site--she has no idea what she's missing and how good she's got it--she needs to talk to a teenage girl who has no mother or parents at all, or someone who has them, but they dont give a rats hiney--have you seen like montel or other shows where they do a fake funeral--thats what she needs--like i said we love you B, and i can see how much this is effecting your life--i couldn't imagine going through that--what doesn't kill you makes you stronger--ok so that last part was annoying--i just feel for you and want you to feel better--c'mon girl--rear up that stubborn head--find the good in this like you do our problems---LUv ya!!
Well interestingly I just saw my daughter for the first time in almost a year.
just called her as it's Friday and figure hope she is O.K. if she's coming from her dorm...........blah, blah.........where's she going to........blah, blah.
No call back.........on my way to the store I texted her..........no answer......no nothing.........and my borhter was saying he looks at her my space......."Where is she that she is comfortable enough to be sitting without any shirt on? Whose house is that?".............PLUS he says "No wonder nobody likes her she's always got she's mad or sad or whatever".
So, on my way to the store I see my X husband's car at his parents........he moved out of there.........I am not to call there relayed through our daughter as she DOES NOT LIVE THERE ANYMORE...........so I get my stuff at the store and coming back ain't my daughter going up the steps.
Now, you'd say what would ya do??????????? Of course you are a parent you'd run to your child...........beg at their feet..........it is a block away at least, but it's her.............and I'm thinking well she sure enough sees me cause she's standing outside ON HER PHONE..................I keep walking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna be like that Kellie Pickler's mother.........I mean you don't call me back and ya don't answer my text..........you want nothing to do with me.
Plus it's really sad.........I mean it shocked me and my mom had even told me she's way PAST heavy now.........I started crying.......she's tiny little thing.......and she's at least 100 pounds overweight probably more......broke my heart............she may not be on drugs but she's eating herself in whatever she is in...........I just don't know.
just called her as it's Friday and figure hope she is O.K. if she's coming from her dorm...........blah, blah.........where's she going to........blah, blah.
No call back.........on my way to the store I texted her..........no answer......no nothing.........and my borhter was saying he looks at her my space......."Where is she that she is comfortable enough to be sitting without any shirt on? Whose house is that?".............PLUS he says "No wonder nobody likes her she's always got she's mad or sad or whatever".
So, on my way to the store I see my X husband's car at his parents........he moved out of there.........I am not to call there relayed through our daughter as she DOES NOT LIVE THERE ANYMORE...........so I get my stuff at the store and coming back ain't my daughter going up the steps.
Now, you'd say what would ya do??????????? Of course you are a parent you'd run to your child...........beg at their feet..........it is a block away at least, but it's her.............and I'm thinking well she sure enough sees me cause she's standing outside ON HER PHONE..................I keep walking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't wanna be like that Kellie Pickler's mother.........I mean you don't call me back and ya don't answer my text..........you want nothing to do with me.
Plus it's really sad.........I mean it shocked me and my mom had even told me she's way PAST heavy now.........I started crying.......she's tiny little thing.......and she's at least 100 pounds overweight probably more......broke my heart............she may not be on drugs but she's eating herself in whatever she is in...........I just don't know.
I don't know how you do it, Bryn...really I don't. Much support and sympathy for you here, you are in it as they say. Wish I could be more help, but just know we are here.
Thinking of you~M&M
Thinking of you~M&M
I've got no advice on your daughter Bryn. My own daughter is only 9. I don't know what it's like to be a parent to a teen/young adult. I do know already i'm half horrified half excited for my kids to grow up and move on.
The guilt.... i get some of that from my 11.5 years old. We were watching COPS my son say's that guy looks like he's doing drugs. "GUY LOOK FRIED CLEARLY HIGH". My fiance ask my son, how do you know?. Son says my mom looked like that "GUILT TRIP".
To think when i was getting high i would have sworn on The Bible it was not hurting my kids and in fact they did not know. I can't change any of the damage done.
The guilt.... i get some of that from my 11.5 years old. We were watching COPS my son say's that guy looks like he's doing drugs. "GUY LOOK FRIED CLEARLY HIGH". My fiance ask my son, how do you know?. Son says my mom looked like that "GUILT TRIP".
To think when i was getting high i would have sworn on The Bible it was not hurting my kids and in fact they did not know. I can't change any of the damage done.
Bryn, we've all made mistakes with our kids when we were using. All we can do is be a better person and a better mom NOW. I am really trying hard to be a good parent with my 12 y/o. I know I screwed up with Tyler who is 21 and Jana who is 23. They are both still using, and heck, I used to smoke weed with them all the time. Now I'm clean and I insist that they don't use when they are around me. I also don't want them to come out to my house when they are high. Tyler blew that one the last time he came out. Clearly had a good buzz going. Maybe I should have turned him around and sent him back home, but I see this kid so rarely that of course I fed him and found him some more stuff for his apartment. Funny how we think others can't tell that we are using. Can't kid the queen of the kidders though. I wish my son was like I was when I was his age, I thought nothing of driving an hour smoking my head off and eating dinner with my parents. Oh, I am feeling sorry for myself, it happens honey. I call him from time to time, matter of fact I have a toaster oven for him now. Sometimes he shows up out of nowhere. He's an adult, nothing I can say now.
As for Jana, not even my real daughter, but the wench drives me insane! I don't even want her out here, my nerves get cooked when she's around. She's a liar and a thief. Found out the other night when it got chilly here that she stole the blanket for Dylan's bed. I even called her and asked about it and she lied. She freaking lied. She doesn't even need it, she had another one. With her, it's whatever the F she can get off of anyone. GRRR, gotta stop talking bout her. See, even just TALKING about her, THINKING about her gets my teeth grinding and my body all tensed up. Done with this one.
With my little guy, heck, I've had the drug talk with him, instead of rolling up a fattie and smoking with him. I've also gave him the "if you are at a party and someone is drinking, call, no questions, I'll be there", "if you drink, well call, I'll understand" I won't be happy about it. Crimineys, when I was his age I was drinking Boonesfarm, smoking cigs and weed and getting laid. Yup, I was an early bloomer, if you can call it that.
Just hang in there Bryn, don't let this girl guilt you into feeling bad. What really matters is who you are now. A sweet, funny lady who knows that she made some bad choices. Love you darlin' !
As for Jana, not even my real daughter, but the wench drives me insane! I don't even want her out here, my nerves get cooked when she's around. She's a liar and a thief. Found out the other night when it got chilly here that she stole the blanket for Dylan's bed. I even called her and asked about it and she lied. She freaking lied. She doesn't even need it, she had another one. With her, it's whatever the F she can get off of anyone. GRRR, gotta stop talking bout her. See, even just TALKING about her, THINKING about her gets my teeth grinding and my body all tensed up. Done with this one.
With my little guy, heck, I've had the drug talk with him, instead of rolling up a fattie and smoking with him. I've also gave him the "if you are at a party and someone is drinking, call, no questions, I'll be there", "if you drink, well call, I'll understand" I won't be happy about it. Crimineys, when I was his age I was drinking Boonesfarm, smoking cigs and weed and getting laid. Yup, I was an early bloomer, if you can call it that.
Just hang in there Bryn, don't let this girl guilt you into feeling bad. What really matters is who you are now. A sweet, funny lady who knows that she made some bad choices. Love you darlin' !
I threw both of my sons out today and I think I'm going to die
Guest~It will get easier, but not right now. You love your boys and they are destroying themselves - too hard to watch, even worse to participate in. Come back and we'll talk some more. So very sorry things are so hard =(
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
Guest I am so, so sorry...........obviously I can't be of no help.......my own child I raised for 17 years and have seen like twice in a year is two blocks away...looked straight up the block at me.........that was that.
Young, I never thought anything could hurt like the indiscretion of a lover or a breakup with someone ya shared so much with........yeah, wait till your own kids up and leave.......call ya a lousy b*tch that ruined their life......oh and keep repeating they didn't leave.........you kicked them out........then it jumps to how they were FORCED to leave because of you.
Ya wanna cry on a love song.......them standards? They can pertain.
This morning I got three in a row.
ROSE ROCE'S "I'M WISING ON A STAR"
"I'd never thought I'd see
A time when you would be
So far from home
so far away from me"
CHAKA KHAN'S "THROUGH THE FIRE"
"Through the fire,
to the limit, to the wal
For a chance to be with you
I'd gladly risk it all"
THE KICKER THOUGH>>>>>>>JENNIFER HUDSON'S
"AND I'M TELLING YOU........"
"We're part of the same place,
we're part of the same time,
we both share the same blood.........................."
Da*n DREAM GIRLS.........I guess I gotta turn off Philly's Soul Satisfaction Station????????????? Ya think...........I can't do this anymore.....I can't.
Young, I never thought anything could hurt like the indiscretion of a lover or a breakup with someone ya shared so much with........yeah, wait till your own kids up and leave.......call ya a lousy b*tch that ruined their life......oh and keep repeating they didn't leave.........you kicked them out........then it jumps to how they were FORCED to leave because of you.
Ya wanna cry on a love song.......them standards? They can pertain.
This morning I got three in a row.
ROSE ROCE'S "I'M WISING ON A STAR"
"I'd never thought I'd see
A time when you would be
So far from home
so far away from me"
CHAKA KHAN'S "THROUGH THE FIRE"
"Through the fire,
to the limit, to the wal
For a chance to be with you
I'd gladly risk it all"
THE KICKER THOUGH>>>>>>>JENNIFER HUDSON'S
"AND I'M TELLING YOU........"
"We're part of the same place,
we're part of the same time,
we both share the same blood.........................."
Da*n DREAM GIRLS.........I guess I gotta turn off Philly's Soul Satisfaction Station????????????? Ya think...........I can't do this anymore.....I can't.
Actually I'm guest. I don't know how I got logged out. I was crying too f***ing hard last night to bother trying to remember my password.
I've seen how you've suffered with your daughter Bryn, and I'm so sorry. Mine packed up and left yesterday. I made them, for various reasons. Not drugs, thank God. I'm the junkie. It really seemed like the right thing to do until I had to watch it. Like you've always said, it's a horrible whirlwind of emotion. You're so sweet to try to help.
Thank you Momnmore for your kind words as well. I
I had forgotten what a broken heart feels like.
I've seen how you've suffered with your daughter Bryn, and I'm so sorry. Mine packed up and left yesterday. I made them, for various reasons. Not drugs, thank God. I'm the junkie. It really seemed like the right thing to do until I had to watch it. Like you've always said, it's a horrible whirlwind of emotion. You're so sweet to try to help.
Thank you Momnmore for your kind words as well. I
I had forgotten what a broken heart feels like.
Awww so sorry Beck. All us mommas know the heartbreak of them leaving.
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
Beck whats goin on???yer two kicked out ....why???feeling for ya ...mail me asap if ya want....until then take care of yerself ...lots of love....Davey
Ok~I feel ya- got yer point~Been there... Pls read my post
*Dulce`
*Dulce`
Actually it was the opposite for me.
I worked very very hard at NOT being an idiot around my kids but there is no way that that worked out! I have always stated that if I could be a fraction of the person that my kids believe me to be...I would be an okay person. Went through a horrible divorce and custody battle when they were only 4 and 5 years old. My X is an alkie and an addict. He hated me more than he loved his kids...found someone that would grow and aid him in his anger.....the whole ugly thing took almost 4 years in court. It ended up a precedent setting case here as I got custody back. Long and ugly story.
So as it went...I never got drunk and/or stoned around my kids. They went to there fathers on weekends where they learned all the tricks.....I did my fair share of partying and whatnot....but just not when they were with me. I did go out many a nights and nursed a killer hangover and parented them from the couch but they really never saw any of my antics.....this is why last year when I explained that I was an addict and was on suboxone and going to meetings, they were left scratching there heads!
My daughter without a doubt is an alcoholic and is fighting it...she is in and out of denial. My 23 year old son has the propensity of being one merely by genetics but so far shows no signs...but he is young...my addiction never reared its ugly head until I was about 38/39.
I have been through hell and back with my daughter...she is almost 25. We have been so incredibly close to as far apart as you could get. I have taken her a** to court and done a number of things that she deems hostile but only to wake her up. She is a beautiful young women but suffers from low self esteem and other emotional issues. She is coming around.....god help us all....it goes back to the "if I knew then what I know now".
Time and age will hopefully heal all the wounds and scars for us and our kids....we can't feel guilt and shame because it stunts our sobriety and recovery. All we can do is apologize and hope that our wounded offspring will learn from our mistakes. If they hate us or harbour resentments then there is nothing we can do but wait...wait for a glimmer that they understand.
Bryn.....I know you hurt honey....I feel your pain. I hope your daughter matures some and releases you from the guilt that she heaps upon you it's not fair but we know the story about fairness. When I read about your tribulations with her my heart breaks for you.
Jeez Beck....I hope everything is okay....you are a warm and loving women. Anytime you want to talk....I am here!
I worked very very hard at NOT being an idiot around my kids but there is no way that that worked out! I have always stated that if I could be a fraction of the person that my kids believe me to be...I would be an okay person. Went through a horrible divorce and custody battle when they were only 4 and 5 years old. My X is an alkie and an addict. He hated me more than he loved his kids...found someone that would grow and aid him in his anger.....the whole ugly thing took almost 4 years in court. It ended up a precedent setting case here as I got custody back. Long and ugly story.
So as it went...I never got drunk and/or stoned around my kids. They went to there fathers on weekends where they learned all the tricks.....I did my fair share of partying and whatnot....but just not when they were with me. I did go out many a nights and nursed a killer hangover and parented them from the couch but they really never saw any of my antics.....this is why last year when I explained that I was an addict and was on suboxone and going to meetings, they were left scratching there heads!
My daughter without a doubt is an alcoholic and is fighting it...she is in and out of denial. My 23 year old son has the propensity of being one merely by genetics but so far shows no signs...but he is young...my addiction never reared its ugly head until I was about 38/39.
I have been through hell and back with my daughter...she is almost 25. We have been so incredibly close to as far apart as you could get. I have taken her a** to court and done a number of things that she deems hostile but only to wake her up. She is a beautiful young women but suffers from low self esteem and other emotional issues. She is coming around.....god help us all....it goes back to the "if I knew then what I know now".
Time and age will hopefully heal all the wounds and scars for us and our kids....we can't feel guilt and shame because it stunts our sobriety and recovery. All we can do is apologize and hope that our wounded offspring will learn from our mistakes. If they hate us or harbour resentments then there is nothing we can do but wait...wait for a glimmer that they understand.
Bryn.....I know you hurt honey....I feel your pain. I hope your daughter matures some and releases you from the guilt that she heaps upon you it's not fair but we know the story about fairness. When I read about your tribulations with her my heart breaks for you.
Jeez Beck....I hope everything is okay....you are a warm and loving women. Anytime you want to talk....I am here!
Yes, Kee Kee we have to let Beck know we're here.
Thanks too from me..........the whole thing has my heart seared like I can't explain it........ripped out of your chest is one thing..........but then it's like it's put back and the ache just don't go away.
Awful........I'd recommend though like what happened with Jack.......meeting for breaksfast.............and then Beck saw her boys..........don't let the communication go.
I tried everything and more........even my daughters school counselor tried......the girl said she didn't want to see me or speak to me.........I have the e-mails her dad sent me.........and the voicemails..........LEAVE HER ALONE.
My brother even got them onn his cell, and home and of all things his work so his secretary got them.........LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I backed off some to give her time...........a hige mistake because NOW I didn't care about her..........this is what she says..........I used to walk by that house at 1:00Am to see if the light was on.......call to hear her voice and hang up..
I never not cared..........I don't think maturity has anything to do with it, Kee, but thanks.
Thanks too from me..........the whole thing has my heart seared like I can't explain it........ripped out of your chest is one thing..........but then it's like it's put back and the ache just don't go away.
Awful........I'd recommend though like what happened with Jack.......meeting for breaksfast.............and then Beck saw her boys..........don't let the communication go.
I tried everything and more........even my daughters school counselor tried......the girl said she didn't want to see me or speak to me.........I have the e-mails her dad sent me.........and the voicemails..........LEAVE HER ALONE.
My brother even got them onn his cell, and home and of all things his work so his secretary got them.........LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I backed off some to give her time...........a hige mistake because NOW I didn't care about her..........this is what she says..........I used to walk by that house at 1:00Am to see if the light was on.......call to hear her voice and hang up..
I never not cared..........I don't think maturity has anything to do with it, Kee, but thanks.
