Im going to irritate some people in this post but be that as it may here goes:
I am new to this site and thus far have been enthused by the level of genuine love and concern demonstrated by fellow addicts. Luckily I have been around long enough though to ignore the fighting that went on tonight, fighting I am glad I missed but I would like to offer a few opinions.
1) What would a newcomer think if his or hers first experience was that of bickering and name calling?
2) How does this fighting help anyones recovery, especially those involved in the fight?
3) Isnt there a certain saying, something like Principals before personality?
Tonight/today I completed my fifth step and had a glorious conversation with God. I finished off the evening speaking to a youth group about my story and I think that in addition to helping me I may have reached a few of them.
I dont mention these activities of mine to try and show I am above everyone else but rather as an attempt to demonstrate that there are far more better things to be done than fighting.
I can only speak for myself but for me recovery is a life and death situation, I worry about the effect that tonights activities for those involved have on their recovery and also worry for the newcomer.
What if a newcomer, on the edge, turned to this website as a last resort today and instead of finding serenity he found the same type of chaos that exists in his life, what if he went out and used, what if, God forbid he died or was arrested?
I hope this does not come across as preachy but rather as a suggestion to gain perspective.
God Bless
I think that we are all smart enough to know what the fighting does. We don't need to be reminded.
I've found that the best way for it to die and go away is to stop bringing it up.
Apologies were made, it's over. Let it go.
On a lighter note, I'm really envious of your 5th step. I'm working mine all over again and just finished the 4th. I start the 5th next week when my sponsor is back from Australia. Although I love what the steps do for me, it's a slow process and I want that serenity NOW!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
cowgirl
I've found that the best way for it to die and go away is to stop bringing it up.
Apologies were made, it's over. Let it go.
On a lighter note, I'm really envious of your 5th step. I'm working mine all over again and just finished the 4th. I start the 5th next week when my sponsor is back from Australia. Although I love what the steps do for me, it's a slow process and I want that serenity NOW!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
cowgirl
life is not perfect, if it were we would be programmed robots. brothers and sistesrs fights, moms and dads fight, best friends fight. its what we learn from those fights that matter and what we choose to do with them, hopefully it is a learning and growing process that is never ending. like the great circle of life
terrianne
terrianne
The key here is that you learn from your mistakes and not keep repeating them. Over and Over and Over...
Man, that's a hard lesson to learn.
Man, that's a hard lesson to learn.
all i have to say is that I am so glad I miss the fighting.
I guess.. im lucky.
And , if there were fighting.. ( not to piss anyone off.. ) but-
I know there is a little X in the top right hand corner of my screen that
I can click on to change a fight.
Dont feed it, and it wont come back.
I guess.. im lucky.
And , if there were fighting.. ( not to piss anyone off.. ) but-
I know there is a little X in the top right hand corner of my screen that
I can click on to change a fight.
Dont feed it, and it wont come back.
" I quote you wolf"
"I can only speak for myself but for me recovery is a life and death situation, I worry about the effect that tonights activities for those involved have on their recovery and also worry for the newcomer."
For me that is it in a nutshell
thanks and have a good night
Jeff
"I can only speak for myself but for me recovery is a life and death situation, I worry about the effect that tonights activities for those involved have on their recovery and also worry for the newcomer."
For me that is it in a nutshell
thanks and have a good night
Jeff
Hopefully newcomers will realize that we are addicts just like them. The fighting will never end here. It's a fact of life for some stupid reason.
All we can do is try harder and do better the next time someone yanks your chain. Any chain yanking here and I'll be sitting on my hands.
Jeff...
YGM
All we can do is try harder and do better the next time someone yanks your chain. Any chain yanking here and I'll be sitting on my hands.
Jeff...
YGM
Wolf,
I think your post is nice. Sometimes we do need to be reminded and after something happens its good to get our perscpective back in order.
Lovebird
I think your post is nice. Sometimes we do need to be reminded and after something happens its good to get our perscpective back in order.
Lovebird
It's just too bad that some feel the need to keep bringing it up. Even after sincere apologies have been made, they think it's going to help by mentioning it in every one of their posts?
That I don't get.
Is it that our lives have become so boring and nothing to them that all we have is this internet to get our thrills and chills? Now, that's addictive behavior. Check your motives as to why you're here and if you're not part of the solution then you're probably part of the problem.
I am so grateful for the life I have today.
That I don't get.
Is it that our lives have become so boring and nothing to them that all we have is this internet to get our thrills and chills? Now, that's addictive behavior. Check your motives as to why you're here and if you're not part of the solution then you're probably part of the problem.
I am so grateful for the life I have today.
And yet you felt the need to post about it again, your actions seem to belie your statements.
I do agree, however, that is far past time to move on.
I do agree, however, that is far past time to move on.
Was that a starter's pistol I just heard? I hope not!
Wolf,
I was not logged on during the fighting, and do not know what occurred, only who was involved. I think your thread is positive, and meant to help. I think it is okay to mention the fact that the board sometimes has a hard time getting along. Especially since you are demonstrating that positive actions and words bring positive results. Keep posting and take care. Atlas
I was not logged on during the fighting, and do not know what occurred, only who was involved. I think your thread is positive, and meant to help. I think it is okay to mention the fact that the board sometimes has a hard time getting along. Especially since you are demonstrating that positive actions and words bring positive results. Keep posting and take care. Atlas
Wolf,
Not meaning to sound pessimistic, but realistically speaking, It isn't that your post spoke the truth, it certainly does, it is just what you said has been said over and over and over,,..even though the reminder is warranted, nothing is going to stop people from disagreeing. Short of physically removing someone from the computer, it will always continue. Reminders such as yours, and others I myself have written similar, is meaningless IMO. (not meaning this negatively)
If the Moderators can't stop it, then we certainly can't. I have seen them post several times reminding us what this board is all about. Until they feel this board is a detriment to newcomers, and people are banned, then it will be same ole same ole. They are also very forgiving Moderators. This is a Public Forum, chance we all take. It is human nature to rebut. Human nature to dislike how person types/comes across, to dislike people, I myself have felt like b**** slapping a few, including myself at times. I have all these little dolls with every ones name on them,, I line them up and head flick them with my finger. Poor FloridaGirl has so many indents in her lil plastic doll forehead, it isnt funny. Kidding. She knows I love her.
Perhaps the question asked should be Does anyone have any solutions for board harmony and how it relates to recovery? And even with this, arent we really asking people to stop being who they really are? I include myself in this as well. To me it is all part of recovery. Good, bad, and the ugly. . Food for thought.
So one can ignore those less positive threads or they have a choice to get caught up in them. Does it really matter? If newcomers are scared away, they should email the Moderators. Let them handle it.
Chapter 14 Wolf,, I am waiting.. (Smile).. snap snap...
Not meaning to sound pessimistic, but realistically speaking, It isn't that your post spoke the truth, it certainly does, it is just what you said has been said over and over and over,,..even though the reminder is warranted, nothing is going to stop people from disagreeing. Short of physically removing someone from the computer, it will always continue. Reminders such as yours, and others I myself have written similar, is meaningless IMO. (not meaning this negatively)
If the Moderators can't stop it, then we certainly can't. I have seen them post several times reminding us what this board is all about. Until they feel this board is a detriment to newcomers, and people are banned, then it will be same ole same ole. They are also very forgiving Moderators. This is a Public Forum, chance we all take. It is human nature to rebut. Human nature to dislike how person types/comes across, to dislike people, I myself have felt like b**** slapping a few, including myself at times. I have all these little dolls with every ones name on them,, I line them up and head flick them with my finger. Poor FloridaGirl has so many indents in her lil plastic doll forehead, it isnt funny. Kidding. She knows I love her.
Perhaps the question asked should be Does anyone have any solutions for board harmony and how it relates to recovery? And even with this, arent we really asking people to stop being who they really are? I include myself in this as well. To me it is all part of recovery. Good, bad, and the ugly. . Food for thought.
So one can ignore those less positive threads or they have a choice to get caught up in them. Does it really matter? If newcomers are scared away, they should email the Moderators. Let them handle it.
Chapter 14 Wolf,, I am waiting.. (Smile).. snap snap...
Just wanted to offer a suggestion to avoid conflict if you are continuosly disagreeing with someone try overlooking their posts and threads completely and if you need to talk start your own thread about what is going on with you and go right ahead and put some gratitude out there .We all know that putting some honey out will attract more bees and that is how we can change the negative to positive.We are all addicts and we either live a drama filled life or we just live life and when we do the latter of the 2 YES it is BORING at times but PLEASE DONT MISTAKE BOREDOM FOR SERENITY it happens all the time.Be grateful for the lack of drama in your life that is part of our old behavior.I myself love the 12 step progtam and nowadays if I see someone attacking my way of life I totally disregard their posts to AVOID confrontation we are all trying to get better and change our ways and it can be as simple TODAY as to just NOT READ post or threads from people you dont care for their method of getting sober because it doesnt work for you.I appreciate you letting me voice my opinion on this and I hope evryone has a beautiful SOBER and peace filled day!!! Cristina
If your not part of the solution then you are part of the problem.
Simple as that.
Not sure where you're coming from Wolf and at this point it doesn't really matter.
It is what it is.
I am what I am. A recovering addict doing the best I can. Some days aren't as good as others.
Cowgirl
PS Brook...how does my doll look? Did you knock her off the table yet? lol
Simple as that.
Not sure where you're coming from Wolf and at this point it doesn't really matter.
It is what it is.
I am what I am. A recovering addict doing the best I can. Some days aren't as good as others.
Cowgirl
PS Brook...how does my doll look? Did you knock her off the table yet? lol
Cowgirl,, honey yours was hurled into the ceiling fan (still there...going around and around and around.. lol JK!!!
Lisa, you said it, solution/problem.
My words exactly and I know people want to hurl my a** at times, if you come to me with a problem you better have a solution... if you need help we will sit down together and come up with one. But I really like it when people think for themselves, bring a solution forward instead of relying on others to do it for them. We are paid to think and resolve.
Lisa, you said it, solution/problem.
My words exactly and I know people want to hurl my a** at times, if you come to me with a problem you better have a solution... if you need help we will sit down together and come up with one. But I really like it when people think for themselves, bring a solution forward instead of relying on others to do it for them. We are paid to think and resolve.
Wolf Board harmony? That is difficult when if you disagree with someone you get attacked.
Why cant the issue be debated by mature adults? Wolf do you truly believe evreybody who posts is clean?
I think that has a lot to do with the bickering. And long before me and you there is a hatred between certain posters.
The only answer is for the people who have issue's solve them OFF this forum or leaves.
Anger is something an addict cannot afford. At leastthis addict.
JMO--
Jeff
Why cant the issue be debated by mature adults? Wolf do you truly believe evreybody who posts is clean?
I think that has a lot to do with the bickering. And long before me and you there is a hatred between certain posters.
The only answer is for the people who have issue's solve them OFF this forum or leaves.
Anger is something an addict cannot afford. At leastthis addict.
JMO--
Jeff
People Love Drama, thats why they wont let it go, they are called pot stirers.... They make mountians out of mole hills...........When they should just Let go and Let God...........Shel
Jeff,
I am the one that said Board Harmony.
I do not assume one way or the other if someone is clean or not. None of my business, Have you thought perhaps instead of blaming people still using for their actions, and consider that it as who that person really is in life? I have seen in chat rooms, people are not.. who they say they are, they be can anyone they want to be sitting behind a screen anonymously.,
I have had many people tell me they are shy in real life, but online, you would never guessed it. I ask them how can they be two people and not themselves, answer. No face to Face interaction. They feel comfortable being someone else for awhile. Some have said to me, although I am shy , in a chat room I am that person I wish I could be. And for some what you see is what you get, it is who they are.
My understanding and from what I have seen, is people are coming here 'using; to get advice on getting cleaned. Do we want to send the message that one has to be clean in order to post? No I would hope not. Or did I not understand your point.
I am the one that said Board Harmony.
I do not assume one way or the other if someone is clean or not. None of my business, Have you thought perhaps instead of blaming people still using for their actions, and consider that it as who that person really is in life? I have seen in chat rooms, people are not.. who they say they are, they be can anyone they want to be sitting behind a screen anonymously.,
I have had many people tell me they are shy in real life, but online, you would never guessed it. I ask them how can they be two people and not themselves, answer. No face to Face interaction. They feel comfortable being someone else for awhile. Some have said to me, although I am shy , in a chat room I am that person I wish I could be. And for some what you see is what you get, it is who they are.
My understanding and from what I have seen, is people are coming here 'using; to get advice on getting cleaned. Do we want to send the message that one has to be clean in order to post? No I would hope not. Or did I not understand your point.
Hey Jeff,
In all fairness, You're saying the people should settle arguements off the board and yet you are in the middle of them all the time.
In all fairness, You're saying the people should settle arguements off the board and yet you are in the middle of them all the time.
