Hi Everyone,
I'm checking in tonight, my daughter is spending the night with her Dad...he and I were at "Back to School" night tonight. All that I heard from all of her teachers, and her Coach on the Surf team, is that she is awesome, such a great girl....hmmm, what am I missing? I have to say she does really well in school and is very organized. However, she likes to party and hang with older guys. I cannot condone that behavior. So, it is a minimum day at school tomorrow and she returns home to me and I almost don't want to be home over the weekend ~ I'm dreading Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. She is still very angry and sad too that I am the direct result that her "friends" don't want to hang out..or call her. I'm staying in tonight, I am at peace...I have to remember I work a one day at a time program and that goes with my daughter and all my relationships...it becomes more manageable then. Hope everyone else is doing well. When I'm not drinking, when I go to meetings, I hear the solution. When I try to run the show, even though I'm not drinking, I am sitting in untreated alcoholism.
VW...
I'm glad you swung by...it's always good to see you...I sympathize with what you are dealing with. My oldest son is struggling with alcohol and drugs and it is not easy being a parent watching one of my children starting to travel down all the roads I used to travel myself but the one thing I do try to do is live in today, give it to God and let go...When I'm at a meeting and see young people show up, it warms my heart as it gives this mother hope....Have you gone to Alanon? I'm planning on attending my first meeting next week, should be interesting as I sit on both sides of the fence and to be honest, I am fearful because I am an alcoholic/addict and have created so much pain myself but like a good friend has said so many times, going through your Fear's is how we grow and heal...
I will keep you in my prayers this weekend and remember, no future trippin and move over and let your HP drive the bus....
Take care,
((((hugs)))))
Stacey
I'm glad you swung by...it's always good to see you...I sympathize with what you are dealing with. My oldest son is struggling with alcohol and drugs and it is not easy being a parent watching one of my children starting to travel down all the roads I used to travel myself but the one thing I do try to do is live in today, give it to God and let go...When I'm at a meeting and see young people show up, it warms my heart as it gives this mother hope....Have you gone to Alanon? I'm planning on attending my first meeting next week, should be interesting as I sit on both sides of the fence and to be honest, I am fearful because I am an alcoholic/addict and have created so much pain myself but like a good friend has said so many times, going through your Fear's is how we grow and heal...
I will keep you in my prayers this weekend and remember, no future trippin and move over and let your HP drive the bus....
Take care,
((((hugs)))))
Stacey
Hi Stacy and VW...Decided to post here instead of family board...VW..when I first went to alanon...had about 3 years in AA...and I was scared and nervous just like when I went to my first AA meeting...There were a couple of alanon meetings I was uncomfortable in b/c a lot of the members knew I was in AA...I finally did find a meeting I was comfortable in and Alanon helped me tremendously...About 6 months ago when I was involved with a relapse addict I went to naranon...and again it helped so much.
Getting back to the uncomfortable thing...some of it may have been just me...but some meetings have people who are still angry about their loved one and can resent having an alcoholic, recovering or not, there. I am not judging them, I understand their pain...I guess what I am trying to say is find a meeting you are comfortable in, preferably one that puts principles before personalities...I found that alanon really helped me not just with their own principles and purpose but with my own recovery in alcoholism.
You might even be surprised how many AAers are there too...
I am in a small recovery area so everyone just about knows everyone...when I decided to go to naranon, I went to a meeting that was out of the area...that made it more comfortable for me.
Good Luck to both of you in your new recovery journey...Love Gina
Getting back to the uncomfortable thing...some of it may have been just me...but some meetings have people who are still angry about their loved one and can resent having an alcoholic, recovering or not, there. I am not judging them, I understand their pain...I guess what I am trying to say is find a meeting you are comfortable in, preferably one that puts principles before personalities...I found that alanon really helped me not just with their own principles and purpose but with my own recovery in alcoholism.
You might even be surprised how many AAers are there too...
I am in a small recovery area so everyone just about knows everyone...when I decided to go to naranon, I went to a meeting that was out of the area...that made it more comfortable for me.
Good Luck to both of you in your new recovery journey...Love Gina
Thank you Gina...and it is a journey....
Thanks Ladies. I am going to scout out different Alanon meetings, just like I did my AA meetings and I have 3 AA meetings per week that I'm pretty much a regular at...well, I have commitments at each of them so it gets me there. But, I do love those meetings and the people in them (one is a Women's stag). I'm sure I'll start to feel "a part of" once I get into the meetings and get into action. Not sit on the sidelines...I usually don't have a problem with that (lol) ~ well, I was suppose to have dinner with BF tonight, but went with my intuition and checked in with my youngest daughter on the way home from work and after I did some errands. She seemed mad that I was checking up on her, but about 30 minutes later she called to have me come pick her up and she asked if her GF could spend the night. So, I've got them here now and I had to call the girl's mother to let her know she was safe with me. What a relief, a mother who cares...this is probably one of the first times in a long time that someone has asked me to call their mother. This girl has been in trouble too ~ I immediately formed a bond and an alliance with this mother...she has a relationship with our local PD too ~ she even had to scour the streets more than one time to bring this child home...we are going to share information. I also have someone getting info for me off of myspace. Believe me, this is not easy...but I know I am doing all I can to keep my daughter safe, honestly I was too trusting before and turned my head in denial. That's the latest. My daughter is in a surf contest tomorrow, so it's up and at 'em at 6:00 am for us. Thanks so much for the input and I'm so glad you gals are here for me.
Al-anon has been a saving grace for me.
I turned a corner when I realized I can not force the solution.
Way to work the program girl!!! :)
Keeping you in my prayers.
love,
C
I turned a corner when I realized I can not force the solution.
Way to work the program girl!!! :)
Keeping you in my prayers.
love,
C
Hey VWG sending you energy and one day your daughter will understand but don't wait for that day live your life as well and be proud you care.
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Hi VWGirl... maybe this might help I don't know...
When I was younger I used to hang with older guys. When I was 13 my boyfriend was 16 and his mates were all 18+ we used to go round drinking and smoking pot...
My parents hated my friends and I hated them for it... I rebeled against them something chronic but now I see they were right... my mates were all wasters.
At the time i didn't like it but now I see they were only looking out for me.
Maybe your daughter will see too soon enough...
Izzy X
When I was younger I used to hang with older guys. When I was 13 my boyfriend was 16 and his mates were all 18+ we used to go round drinking and smoking pot...
My parents hated my friends and I hated them for it... I rebeled against them something chronic but now I see they were right... my mates were all wasters.
At the time i didn't like it but now I see they were only looking out for me.
Maybe your daughter will see too soon enough...
Izzy X
Zac...
You said something that I have been trying to do lately..."don't wait for that day live your life as well and be proud you care."
I'm coming to the realization that is all I can do is live my life and set the example and pray that my son will see there is a solution...If I keep doing the next right thing then I will be okay...
VW...thank you for sharing...it sure helps to know I'm not all alone and I was quite amazed how many of us in recovery are now facing some of the same issues with our children....
Take care and as always, my prayers go out to all those trying to find their way...
xoxo
Stacey
You said something that I have been trying to do lately..."don't wait for that day live your life as well and be proud you care."
I'm coming to the realization that is all I can do is live my life and set the example and pray that my son will see there is a solution...If I keep doing the next right thing then I will be okay...
VW...thank you for sharing...it sure helps to know I'm not all alone and I was quite amazed how many of us in recovery are now facing some of the same issues with our children....
Take care and as always, my prayers go out to all those trying to find their way...
xoxo
Stacey
Thanks Stacey...hope you are doing well. I posted on Avondale Girl's thread. I'm still trudging (walking with purpose) through the emotional pain in my life...I know that pain is the touchstone of growth and I will eventually end up on the other side of all this, and look back and understand ~ as long as I stay sober one day at time.
Hi VW...
As you trudge through life, the blessing is, you are not alone...that is the beauty of this program, we don't have to do it alone...I'm okay today, with all life's chaos around me, as long as I keep working my program, give the control to my HP, do the next right thing, then everything will work out...For me, when I try to control the outcome with my son, I go to a bad place, the old behaviours and alcoholic thinking comes back to the surface so for me, I have to live in the day, accept what I cannot change. Please remember, with pain comes healing, strength and growth...I too have seen quite a few very young people walk through the doors, and I smile as they give me hope...as always, you and your loved ones are in my daily prayers...
God bless you...
Thank you for sharing your journey....
Take care,
Stacey
As you trudge through life, the blessing is, you are not alone...that is the beauty of this program, we don't have to do it alone...I'm okay today, with all life's chaos around me, as long as I keep working my program, give the control to my HP, do the next right thing, then everything will work out...For me, when I try to control the outcome with my son, I go to a bad place, the old behaviours and alcoholic thinking comes back to the surface so for me, I have to live in the day, accept what I cannot change. Please remember, with pain comes healing, strength and growth...I too have seen quite a few very young people walk through the doors, and I smile as they give me hope...as always, you and your loved ones are in my daily prayers...
God bless you...
Thank you for sharing your journey....
Take care,
Stacey
