HELP!!!
Hi this is my first posting. I am a 26 year old who has had 4 major surgeries in the past three years. At first the pain meds helped but only when I would take two or three times the dosage of Percocet and others like Demerol. My doctor said that this was normal, that every one has a different metabolism and he would give me what I needed to be comfortable. After the Third surgery my Nerve in my left arm was injured and the pain "switch" remained on. for the next year I was prescribed 40 percocets every two weeks to maintain some form of comfort. I had the next surgery to fix the problem but it didn't. I have now been waiting for the next step, I have an EMG coming up to tell us about damage to the nerve, Then I will be able to go in for a prcedure where they take a vein out of my leg and wrap it around the damaged portion of the nerve. Anyway, When the doctor stopped prescribing me medication for the pain (he had put me on Neurontin for six months) I went to the internet and found a way to get Vicodin 10/650's. Once a month I get 90 of them. I usually take them slowly for the first few days, just as a pain helper. I remind you I am in very intense pain 24/7. But then usually by the second week the effect has worn off and I need to take many more than the regular dose to calm down the pain. I fear I am addicted to the pain pills and do not know what to do. I fear with the next surgery coming up I will not get any pain relief from the meds the Doctor prescribes me because I am so used to taking large amounts of pain pils. But if I try to taper off I only make it about half the day before I take more, then about every three weeks I run out and have a week of horrible withdrawls and terrible pain in my arm. This is affecting every part of my life, even today I am supposed to be at school (college) and I am skipping for no reason other than I do this type of thing when I am taking these drugs. Normally I am very responsible. I just feel hopeless. I don't know what I am asking for but maybe if you are reading this you might have some ideas that would help me in the right direction. Thanks
Sounds like to me you definately have a pill addiction problem. If your buying them off online pharmacies and they are not prescribed to you then that should tell you right there.
If you were to actually get off the pills you would suprisingly find the amount of pain your going through would be alot less. Infact the pain pills you are taking are actually creating pain for you! They all do after a while.
You gotta be real with yourself. Ask yourself if you want a tiny little pill controlling your life or DO YOU want you old life back? You didn't get into this mess over night and it's not gonna fix itself that fast either.
For me, I was taking alot of OxyContin for a broken back, severe oster arthritis, compressed vertibrates in my neck. Not to mention surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome and various other issues. Once I was off the pills my pain was alot less and way more manageable.
Good Luck - there is alot of people on here who can give you sound advice.
If you were to actually get off the pills you would suprisingly find the amount of pain your going through would be alot less. Infact the pain pills you are taking are actually creating pain for you! They all do after a while.
You gotta be real with yourself. Ask yourself if you want a tiny little pill controlling your life or DO YOU want you old life back? You didn't get into this mess over night and it's not gonna fix itself that fast either.
For me, I was taking alot of OxyContin for a broken back, severe oster arthritis, compressed vertibrates in my neck. Not to mention surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome and various other issues. Once I was off the pills my pain was alot less and way more manageable.
Good Luck - there is alot of people on here who can give you sound advice.
Chatterbox,
I am with you all the way although over here in australia its illegal to buy drugs over the internet so its the doctors or off the streets.
I had cervical cancer in my bowel as well four months ago because of the pain I had been on oxycontin for 9 months prior to the operation because over here you have to wait and they were just giving me radiation treatement to stop the cancer from spreading anyway when I had the operation I woke up and I was in so much pain I had been cut from one end of my stomach to the other. They had given me the highest amount of drugs they could have otherwise my heart would have stopped. I was on a machine that I pressed a button and the morphine was released into my vain it did nothing I was so immune to such high dosages of opiates that my body didnt react to any of it. I told nobody about my addiction in there but I did take my only little stash. WHile I was on a machine I was also popping pills and they were giving my other injections I still could no get rid of the pain. I knew then and there it had to stop. Nobody will know of the pain I went through because I over dosed myself all the time on pills and when I really did need high medication required it didnt work.
I also suffer from carpanal tunnel and need an operation but forget it I live with the pain in my arms and I have to put these things on my arms of a night to keep them straight .....anyway getting off what I was saying the thing is you gotta get off them. They cant give you more than what you need as it will kill you your respitory system will shut down and you will stop breathing so that was my experience and it was a shocking one and I will never ever forget that kind of pain in my life.
I wish you well and keep up posted.
Rhonda
I am with you all the way although over here in australia its illegal to buy drugs over the internet so its the doctors or off the streets.
I had cervical cancer in my bowel as well four months ago because of the pain I had been on oxycontin for 9 months prior to the operation because over here you have to wait and they were just giving me radiation treatement to stop the cancer from spreading anyway when I had the operation I woke up and I was in so much pain I had been cut from one end of my stomach to the other. They had given me the highest amount of drugs they could have otherwise my heart would have stopped. I was on a machine that I pressed a button and the morphine was released into my vain it did nothing I was so immune to such high dosages of opiates that my body didnt react to any of it. I told nobody about my addiction in there but I did take my only little stash. WHile I was on a machine I was also popping pills and they were giving my other injections I still could no get rid of the pain. I knew then and there it had to stop. Nobody will know of the pain I went through because I over dosed myself all the time on pills and when I really did need high medication required it didnt work.
I also suffer from carpanal tunnel and need an operation but forget it I live with the pain in my arms and I have to put these things on my arms of a night to keep them straight .....anyway getting off what I was saying the thing is you gotta get off them. They cant give you more than what you need as it will kill you your respitory system will shut down and you will stop breathing so that was my experience and it was a shocking one and I will never ever forget that kind of pain in my life.
I wish you well and keep up posted.
Rhonda
Chatter-Go to a detox center to get off the pain pills. It will be uncomfortable for a couple of days..but you'll kick it...then use the medicine ONLY as directed..
Dear Chatterbox,
I've had 18 operations: 15 for pilonidal disease, and 5 reconstructive procedures of the left buttock. When I was withdrawn from opioids, I found that my pain was still there - unrelenting. After several tests, I found that my sacral and perirectal nerves were damaged. Unfortunately, situations like that can be a "Catch-22." Although one needs the opioids to live comfortably, the opioids, eventually, compund the problem.
Have you looked into pain management? Pain management offered me several solutions besides opioids. I am currently researching a Dorsal Column Stimulator. The DCS is a device implanted in the area of pain, with small electrodes places near the affected nerve. The small electrical impulses block the pain impulses that one receives. I haven't decided on whether I am going forward with this, yet; however, several patients of my pain physician are willing to discuss how the DCS has helped them. I'll be meeting some on November 8th. If you would like to look into this, search for "Medtronic" in any Internet Search Engine, and you will find results. If you can't find the site, I can supply the link in another post.
Either way, I can understand the difficult situation that you are in. Although I have never bought from an online pharmacy, I can see where you are coming from, Chatterbox. Addiction is a disease that encompasses many different aspects. One of those aspects is how to deal with chronic pain, without using, and not suffer.
We are all here to help you. As said in the previous posts, there are so many people to offer hope, support, and inspiration. You are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ben
I've had 18 operations: 15 for pilonidal disease, and 5 reconstructive procedures of the left buttock. When I was withdrawn from opioids, I found that my pain was still there - unrelenting. After several tests, I found that my sacral and perirectal nerves were damaged. Unfortunately, situations like that can be a "Catch-22." Although one needs the opioids to live comfortably, the opioids, eventually, compund the problem.
Have you looked into pain management? Pain management offered me several solutions besides opioids. I am currently researching a Dorsal Column Stimulator. The DCS is a device implanted in the area of pain, with small electrodes places near the affected nerve. The small electrical impulses block the pain impulses that one receives. I haven't decided on whether I am going forward with this, yet; however, several patients of my pain physician are willing to discuss how the DCS has helped them. I'll be meeting some on November 8th. If you would like to look into this, search for "Medtronic" in any Internet Search Engine, and you will find results. If you can't find the site, I can supply the link in another post.
Either way, I can understand the difficult situation that you are in. Although I have never bought from an online pharmacy, I can see where you are coming from, Chatterbox. Addiction is a disease that encompasses many different aspects. One of those aspects is how to deal with chronic pain, without using, and not suffer.
We are all here to help you. As said in the previous posts, there are so many people to offer hope, support, and inspiration. You are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Ben
Chatterbox,
You know you really are in a difficult situation. While I am listening I am thinking about my own story as well and how easily it would have been to have this exact thing happen to me. Fortunately, I was able to see beyond the beyond and so it didn't. I weaned off my pain meds. by choice because I knew my tolerance was increasing. I went on one med. by choice promising myself, (cuz that's all who matters unless your actions are hurting others) that I would never ever chew or abuse my meds. I could hold to that although I did find much temptation and curiosity to see what it was like. Even so it's the kiss of death for me and I knew it. I'm thankful to everyone who helped me through that time here on the boards.
It seems like you are gonna have to come clean before this upcoming surgery. No doubt your doctor doesn't know what you were doing? I would let them know and esp. explain why you did what you did. It would have been helpful to have a doctor that understood and managed your pain instead of hanging you out to dry. But now things are what they are and aren't what they aren't. You may need help coming off these meds. It can be very difficult to do it alone. There are things they can give to help you through the process either inpatient detox. or out. Also, it might be a good time to set up some extra support by way of a group like NA. There is a physical withdrawl you will go through and also I think for you a psychological one shortly thereafter. It's kind of like all you can focus on is your physical misery in then beginning and then one day this depression slaps ya right in the face along with all the mental stuff. Supporting yourself is a gift you deserve. Please get some help to get through this. Find a doctor willing to listen and help. It may take searching but gosh with what you have been through it doesn't sound unreasonable. There are some great people here who work the steps and can share alot with you. Use the boards for your help. Don't give up and keep writing to let us know how you are doing.
Best Wishes,
PM
You know you really are in a difficult situation. While I am listening I am thinking about my own story as well and how easily it would have been to have this exact thing happen to me. Fortunately, I was able to see beyond the beyond and so it didn't. I weaned off my pain meds. by choice because I knew my tolerance was increasing. I went on one med. by choice promising myself, (cuz that's all who matters unless your actions are hurting others) that I would never ever chew or abuse my meds. I could hold to that although I did find much temptation and curiosity to see what it was like. Even so it's the kiss of death for me and I knew it. I'm thankful to everyone who helped me through that time here on the boards.
It seems like you are gonna have to come clean before this upcoming surgery. No doubt your doctor doesn't know what you were doing? I would let them know and esp. explain why you did what you did. It would have been helpful to have a doctor that understood and managed your pain instead of hanging you out to dry. But now things are what they are and aren't what they aren't. You may need help coming off these meds. It can be very difficult to do it alone. There are things they can give to help you through the process either inpatient detox. or out. Also, it might be a good time to set up some extra support by way of a group like NA. There is a physical withdrawl you will go through and also I think for you a psychological one shortly thereafter. It's kind of like all you can focus on is your physical misery in then beginning and then one day this depression slaps ya right in the face along with all the mental stuff. Supporting yourself is a gift you deserve. Please get some help to get through this. Find a doctor willing to listen and help. It may take searching but gosh with what you have been through it doesn't sound unreasonable. There are some great people here who work the steps and can share alot with you. Use the boards for your help. Don't give up and keep writing to let us know how you are doing.
Best Wishes,
PM
