I can't seem to do it. I'm at a loss here.
I feel disgusted with myself. I don't want to smoke marijuana every day. I've tried.... you don't have to look to far into this boards history for proof that i've tried. I feel addicted. I feel trapped into a lifestyle I am not happy in.
There have been some changes in my life since the last time I tried to quit (jan 1, 2006). For one I am more embarrased than ever about my marijuana habit. I don't know how to get alcohol/tobacco/marijuana out of my life.... i'm totally addicted.... I'm starting to feel as ashamed about my habitual use of tobacco and alcohol as I feel about my pot smoking... I'm back in that rut I hoped I wouldn't be in... Sometimes I feel like just staying here.
What is the next step for me? I feel I need help at this point... I dunno if I can handle this on my own, its gone to far. Marijuana is too much a part of my life. Do i try therapy? A.A? both?
Please God give me the strength to just stop.
Sorry for spelling and grammar....
Mr.B
I reread this post, and some of my original posts... i broke down into tears...
I can't live with myself... going through these psychological cycles... its too tough... I'm really at a point right now where I need some good advice.
I can't not smoke up.... the longest I've gone in memory is 3 months...
Mr.B
I can't live with myself... going through these psychological cycles... its too tough... I'm really at a point right now where I need some good advice.
I can't not smoke up.... the longest I've gone in memory is 3 months...
Mr.B
Mr. B, I am so sad to hear the pain in your posts. Perhaps you are not lost.....you are just trying to find your way, my dear. :-) Me too.
Do you have conversations with others f2f that are in the pre-contemplation stage of quitting ? I ask because my dearest addict-friend has offered to go to a meeting with me. Any meeting. Smart recovery. AA. NA. whatever I choose. I just have to choose. Today I choose drumming. I am sober today. I asked my spirit guides to bring those into my life whom share the desire and tenacity to give up these ties that bind.
I ask to be fully present in my body today. I ask for guidance in all my actions, my thought and my words today. My thoughts are prayer. Our thoughts are powerful.
I ask that all who read this find happiness today. In their interaction with nature or with significant others, or with their pets, their hobbies, their physical abilities....happiness may be found. I ask that all find the affirmations they need for themselves to find the strength to accept themselves.....warts and all. :-)
Mr. B, love yourself in all your imperfections, you are a work in progress and you are not alone. :-)
love and light,
Diana
Do you have conversations with others f2f that are in the pre-contemplation stage of quitting ? I ask because my dearest addict-friend has offered to go to a meeting with me. Any meeting. Smart recovery. AA. NA. whatever I choose. I just have to choose. Today I choose drumming. I am sober today. I asked my spirit guides to bring those into my life whom share the desire and tenacity to give up these ties that bind.
I ask to be fully present in my body today. I ask for guidance in all my actions, my thought and my words today. My thoughts are prayer. Our thoughts are powerful.
I ask that all who read this find happiness today. In their interaction with nature or with significant others, or with their pets, their hobbies, their physical abilities....happiness may be found. I ask that all find the affirmations they need for themselves to find the strength to accept themselves.....warts and all. :-)
Mr. B, love yourself in all your imperfections, you are a work in progress and you are not alone. :-)
love and light,
Diana
hey mr b- sorry you are hurting,and wow i feel your pain. i suggest you to take this feeling of disgust and use that to help move yourself to the 'other side'. it is so hard... but for me, when i go back to that same feeling in my gut that you write about... i realize it was then i started my journey back. i was SO disgusted and tired of myself.... and it's slow but you'll feel better when you make a move which turns into clean time and in getting it out of your day to day and your life. i think for some of us, this will be a forever battle ...
in the meantime use your disgust to motivate you. that's what i did three months ago and continue to do.... (not very long but it's the most steadfast i've ever been).
'sacred time' helped me too.
glad you posted, keep posting that helps too!
:) jojo
in the meantime use your disgust to motivate you. that's what i did three months ago and continue to do.... (not very long but it's the most steadfast i've ever been).
'sacred time' helped me too.
glad you posted, keep posting that helps too!
:) jojo
