Hi all
I haven't added to my journey for a couple of days but I"m still sober, thanks be to God.
I'm really tired today.
So I need to tell on myself. We are having training at work and today is "Celebrate your success" for our trainees. I opened the fridge to see if there was any cold water and there was 6 bottles of champagne in there to chill. And I thought - ooohh since I'm an executive now and do most of the training I'll get invited to the graduation this afternoon. Goody I can have a glass of champagne.
And then I thought - sh** I'm at work I can only have one glass, I've got to drive, got to go to the hair dresser. and THEN I thought - what's the point of only having one that's worse than useless. and THEN I thought - what are you a f****ing idiot? You don't need ANY drinks.
So I slammed that darn door shut and came back to my office. Then after all that I realised I have to leave early for my hair cut because my hairdresser accidentally booked me in for 5:00pm instead of 5:30pm so I won't be here for the little 'party" anyway. How's that for a serendipitous mistake?
I reckon my HP is watching out for me this afternoon.
sheesh - I'm off now to belt that darn monkey with my stapler.
Idgie.
Idg....YGM....:-)
Btw.....the monkey and the stapler made me laugh so hard I had tea come out my nose!!! LOLOLOL... Thanks for the laugh.
xx Vally
Btw.....the monkey and the stapler made me laugh so hard I had tea come out my nose!!! LOLOLOL... Thanks for the laugh.
xx Vally
I chuckled when I read that too! As 12stepper says, " just because the circus has left town doesn't mean the monkey is off your back"
Cookster
Cookster
Vally LMAO - the monkey didn't though LOL LOL
Got your mail - thanks buddy I owe ya.
Feeling a bit better now. Had a good evening, got a lot done. Had a head massage and got my hair cut and had a good ol gossip with my hair dresser.
Have a good night all.
Idgie.
Got your mail - thanks buddy I owe ya.
Feeling a bit better now. Had a good evening, got a lot done. Had a head massage and got my hair cut and had a good ol gossip with my hair dresser.
Have a good night all.
Idgie.
Hey Idgie
Thankyou for you and the gratitude:)
light and love zac
Thankyou for you and the gratitude:)
light and love zac
hello my friends
well i didn't check in yesterday becasue I was busy living!! Wow its so nice to be doing THAT again.
Today I gotta study - which is good but also scary. I don't have my text books yet but I can read my assignments and learn how to use the online student site and all that stuff. Wow I can't believe I've really taken this on.
In my worst times of heavy drinking I didn't think I'd ever be able to accomplish anything worthwhile again. But I have.
over the last 2 years I've been sober about 70% of the time I reckon - for me that is a huge accomplishment. Now I'm ready to push through to the next stage and live a life in which drinking alcohol doesn't play a role.
The fact that I found the courage to even start this study journey is an accomplishment and I know so many more will be coming down the line.
To everyone on this board who has supported me over the last couple of years I thank each and every one of you. I hope you are all able to continue on each day in your journey towards recovery.
And to those who have dropped out of sight for whatever reason - I wish you all well too. Perhaps some of you come here and lurk sometimes. I haven't forgotten you either.
LoveDove, Ciaobella, Jayde - I hope you are all well and happy.
Have a great sober day
Idgie.
well i didn't check in yesterday becasue I was busy living!! Wow its so nice to be doing THAT again.
Today I gotta study - which is good but also scary. I don't have my text books yet but I can read my assignments and learn how to use the online student site and all that stuff. Wow I can't believe I've really taken this on.
In my worst times of heavy drinking I didn't think I'd ever be able to accomplish anything worthwhile again. But I have.
over the last 2 years I've been sober about 70% of the time I reckon - for me that is a huge accomplishment. Now I'm ready to push through to the next stage and live a life in which drinking alcohol doesn't play a role.
The fact that I found the courage to even start this study journey is an accomplishment and I know so many more will be coming down the line.
To everyone on this board who has supported me over the last couple of years I thank each and every one of you. I hope you are all able to continue on each day in your journey towards recovery.
And to those who have dropped out of sight for whatever reason - I wish you all well too. Perhaps some of you come here and lurk sometimes. I haven't forgotten you either.
LoveDove, Ciaobella, Jayde - I hope you are all well and happy.
Have a great sober day
Idgie.
Hi Idgie. Congratulations and I wish you all the best of luck . You should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished!. Way to girl go !
Congrats to you Idgie!
Your HP has perfect timing knowing that something big was coming down the pike for you. He must have known you were making the decision to get sober. What a great blessing you have been given!
That little monkey on your back must have a lump on his noggin. If he comes back for another round head down to the hardware store and buy a industrial size stapler. Or you could get a staple gun.
They better watch out for Idgie. LOL Please know this is all in fun as I'm a big animal lover! The one I tried to download was a stuffed pink one that said fainted on the bottom. It would have been perfect for all this monkey-ing around. But I kept receiving all these error codes. So I hope everyone gets a chuckle out of these monkey's.
Your HP has perfect timing knowing that something big was coming down the pike for you. He must have known you were making the decision to get sober. What a great blessing you have been given!
That little monkey on your back must have a lump on his noggin. If he comes back for another round head down to the hardware store and buy a industrial size stapler. Or you could get a staple gun.
They better watch out for Idgie. LOL Please know this is all in fun as I'm a big animal lover! The one I tried to download was a stuffed pink one that said fainted on the bottom. It would have been perfect for all this monkey-ing around. But I kept receiving all these error codes. So I hope everyone gets a chuckle out of these monkey's.
LOL - too funny!!!
hi all
monday morning here - I'm in a pretty good mood - had a down period yesterday afternoon and evening but I worked out of it reasonably quickly. I find that the longer I get sober the less my moods swing and I can level out a lot easier.
I was tired this morning but its a tired from being busy all day and staying up late, not the tiredness of abusing my body. I find I'm staying up a lot later now, I would crash out early when I was drinking, now I stay awake and alert much later. But I also sleep deeper and longer as well.
I'm definately starting to see the changes accumulating now and its good.
When I think about a drink I just remind myself how its not fun anymore - my mind tells me I'm missing out on the fun but its just not true. The fun of drinking went away for me a long time ago - but I kept seeking it seeking it.
Anyhoo - just thought I'd check in and let you know how my brain is working today! LOL
I'm off to lunch.
Have a great sober day everyone
Idgie.
monday morning here - I'm in a pretty good mood - had a down period yesterday afternoon and evening but I worked out of it reasonably quickly. I find that the longer I get sober the less my moods swing and I can level out a lot easier.
I was tired this morning but its a tired from being busy all day and staying up late, not the tiredness of abusing my body. I find I'm staying up a lot later now, I would crash out early when I was drinking, now I stay awake and alert much later. But I also sleep deeper and longer as well.
I'm definately starting to see the changes accumulating now and its good.
When I think about a drink I just remind myself how its not fun anymore - my mind tells me I'm missing out on the fun but its just not true. The fun of drinking went away for me a long time ago - but I kept seeking it seeking it.
Anyhoo - just thought I'd check in and let you know how my brain is working today! LOL
I'm off to lunch.
Have a great sober day everyone
Idgie.
Hi Idgie
Wow! you said it for me. I used to crash early like at 630 and 7 pm in the evening cause I had been drinking all day and then wake in the middle of the night filled with remorse and self loathing. Then start all over again in the morning. That is changing for me now however. Yesterday I wanted to drink soooooooo bad! I felt like screaming but I held it all in and managed to get through the day without picking a fight with my husband. I might have not been the most pleasant but at least I didnt go off on a screaming spree like I did the other day. Now I tell him I'm just feeling edgy so dont do anything to provoke me so on that note he stays out of my way lol. I will keep in mind what you said about thinking about missing the fun.you are right it wasnt fun for me anymore either and now that u put that into words I will try to hold onto that thought. God its so hard though ! and as much as I try to think positive the old negative thoughts keep creeping back. However I try to grasp and hang onto the positive. It's nice to wake up without an hangover and for me now its been 11 days so as you know I still have a LONG way to go but I intend to hang in there and with the help from my HP and everyone around me and you guys on this site I know I will do it.God bless and take care and be safe
Wow! you said it for me. I used to crash early like at 630 and 7 pm in the evening cause I had been drinking all day and then wake in the middle of the night filled with remorse and self loathing. Then start all over again in the morning. That is changing for me now however. Yesterday I wanted to drink soooooooo bad! I felt like screaming but I held it all in and managed to get through the day without picking a fight with my husband. I might have not been the most pleasant but at least I didnt go off on a screaming spree like I did the other day. Now I tell him I'm just feeling edgy so dont do anything to provoke me so on that note he stays out of my way lol. I will keep in mind what you said about thinking about missing the fun.you are right it wasnt fun for me anymore either and now that u put that into words I will try to hold onto that thought. God its so hard though ! and as much as I try to think positive the old negative thoughts keep creeping back. However I try to grasp and hang onto the positive. It's nice to wake up without an hangover and for me now its been 11 days so as you know I still have a LONG way to go but I intend to hang in there and with the help from my HP and everyone around me and you guys on this site I know I will do it.God bless and take care and be safe
Hey pirate
yeah that waking in the middle of the night was horrible - I used to feel like my blood was literally boiling and I was going to explode - I can't really describe the feeling but its horrible.
And the leg cramps I would get. sometimes they'd last 10-15 mins. In the morning I'd get up and fall over cause my leg muscles were so strained.
And as for what it did to my digestive system - well I won't go there....
And I'd get nose bleeds and other unpleasant side effects. My short term memory has definately been affected - I don't know if I'll ever recover that to the sharpness it used to be - that bothers me. I particularly have trouble with meeting new people and remembering their face and name next time I see them - this has only recently become a problem for me.
So there I've just listed a whole pile of reasons not to keep drinking.
Well its a good day - I'm sober, was sober yesterday and that is a good feeling.
I do feel a little pressure sometimes - like feeling closed in because I've shut the door on my "little escape" and if I think about it too much I start to panic and I think a drink will fix that. So I try not to let me head run in that direction too much.
If I can pull myself up and force myself to do an activity - ANY activity that occupies my time and hopefully mind that helps a lot.
yeah that waking in the middle of the night was horrible - I used to feel like my blood was literally boiling and I was going to explode - I can't really describe the feeling but its horrible.
And the leg cramps I would get. sometimes they'd last 10-15 mins. In the morning I'd get up and fall over cause my leg muscles were so strained.
And as for what it did to my digestive system - well I won't go there....
And I'd get nose bleeds and other unpleasant side effects. My short term memory has definately been affected - I don't know if I'll ever recover that to the sharpness it used to be - that bothers me. I particularly have trouble with meeting new people and remembering their face and name next time I see them - this has only recently become a problem for me.
So there I've just listed a whole pile of reasons not to keep drinking.
Well its a good day - I'm sober, was sober yesterday and that is a good feeling.
I do feel a little pressure sometimes - like feeling closed in because I've shut the door on my "little escape" and if I think about it too much I start to panic and I think a drink will fix that. So I try not to let me head run in that direction too much.
If I can pull myself up and force myself to do an activity - ANY activity that occupies my time and hopefully mind that helps a lot.
Hi Idgie
You seem a little down to me today. If that is the case I hope you feel better real soon. I know what you mean about feeling closed in. I cant even think of never ever drinking again or that I will never be able to escape from the moment of truths that suddenly I have to face. But as my husband pointed out to me it is better to have one bad sober day than to have 100 good drunk ones. I do a lot of reading to try and put myself in a positive mode as I guess everyone does. But for today I will recite a little quote to you and hopefully it will help you."WE ARE STILL MASTERS OF OUR FATE. WE ARE STILL CAPTAINS OF OUR SOULS" I feel I can't give advice because I really am too inadequate at this point and time to do so. But what I can give you is my support and understanding and my friendship. You take care God bless and be safe
You seem a little down to me today. If that is the case I hope you feel better real soon. I know what you mean about feeling closed in. I cant even think of never ever drinking again or that I will never be able to escape from the moment of truths that suddenly I have to face. But as my husband pointed out to me it is better to have one bad sober day than to have 100 good drunk ones. I do a lot of reading to try and put myself in a positive mode as I guess everyone does. But for today I will recite a little quote to you and hopefully it will help you."WE ARE STILL MASTERS OF OUR FATE. WE ARE STILL CAPTAINS OF OUR SOULS" I feel I can't give advice because I really am too inadequate at this point and time to do so. But what I can give you is my support and understanding and my friendship. You take care God bless and be safe
