Hello all
well here it is New Year's Eve and I have a desperate desire to be sober. After struggling a lot these last two months I had subconsciously planned a last "big one"for tonight and then jumping back on the wagon again on new Year's day.
I don't think I have had a sober day in three weeks - but as I lay thinking about it this morning I thought, wouldn't it be wonderful, not only to be sober on New Year's Day but to wake up sober, with no hangover.
the truth is I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. why put off till tomorrow what I can start today?
I am at the turning point. there are some things happening in my life next year which are either going to catapault me to success or spin me down into failure. I know that if I drink the failure will be guaranteed. I may get sober and still fail - but that would be OK because at least I would have given it my all.
I know if I continue to drink I stand to lose a lot next year.
I've had sober periods before and I know how good it feels once you get over that first difficult hump - I want to feel like that again. I want to bounce out of bed excited to be alive. I want to feel energetic and enthusiastic and happy, instead of lacklustre and bored.
I spent the holidays with my family and it really struck me how screwed up my life is compaired to "normal" poeple (non-alkies). I struggle for normalicy and never quite make it. I'm sick of living on the fringe of life.
I know enough now to know that I can't solve all this in 1 day, or even a week or month. but I know the rewards are there.
I'm not going to wait for the new year to be sober, I'm going to see in the new year sober. It's 9am on New Year's Eve. I can be sober today and tonight I can celebrate new year's without alcohol if I chose to. And I chose to.
I will check in again on New Year's morn.
wishing you all a safe, happy and sober New Year's.
Love Idgie.
Welcome back Idgie, its good to hear from you again! It is a journey, and I'm glad to hear that you are still making progress. Keep up that effort, willingness and gratitude and things will come together for you.
one day at a time, Cookster
one day at a time, Cookster
Hang in there Idgie, Happy New Sober Year. It is no picnic as u know, but it sounds like you have a plan in place, I really hope u make it for new years eve as u will feel so much better in the morning and the gratitude will flow.
I wish you peace.. Take care ..Fi x
I wish you peace.. Take care ..Fi x
Idgie you are on the right track. New Year's sober is definitely not what it is all cracked up to be but it can be done. It's actually fun to watch all the drunk people. You can do it girl. You have done it before and I for one believe in you.
Happy New Years Pal!! YGM!!!
Love, Vally
Happy New Years Pal!! YGM!!!
Love, Vally
Hi Idgie,
Welcome back. I am only a few weeks since my last slip. It happened at a bloody Christmas party I should have had the wits not to go to. It ended badly as my drinking episodes do. What I wanted more than anything was a sober Christmas and New Year. I had the choice of continuing the downroad spiral or picking myslef back up and although shame faced got myself to an AA meeting. So I spent Christmas sober after all and really enjoyed it.
I haven't had a drink since and feel a lot better for it. It has taken 2 years for the AA message to sink in with me but I finally feel that it is. I am worth it and YOU are worth it. It's a New Year - so a New Start. I know it is so bloody hard to pick yourslef up after a bender when - yes a drink will for a short time at least take away the awful hangover - BUT all you are really doing is prolonging the agony.
I wish you a happy and sober New Year and prosperity and promises for 2008. An AA buddy of mine told me that it HAS to be a good year for us as long as we keep coming back and do the recommended things. Sending lots of support your way Idgie xx
Welcome back. I am only a few weeks since my last slip. It happened at a bloody Christmas party I should have had the wits not to go to. It ended badly as my drinking episodes do. What I wanted more than anything was a sober Christmas and New Year. I had the choice of continuing the downroad spiral or picking myslef back up and although shame faced got myself to an AA meeting. So I spent Christmas sober after all and really enjoyed it.
I haven't had a drink since and feel a lot better for it. It has taken 2 years for the AA message to sink in with me but I finally feel that it is. I am worth it and YOU are worth it. It's a New Year - so a New Start. I know it is so bloody hard to pick yourslef up after a bender when - yes a drink will for a short time at least take away the awful hangover - BUT all you are really doing is prolonging the agony.
I wish you a happy and sober New Year and prosperity and promises for 2008. An AA buddy of mine told me that it HAS to be a good year for us as long as we keep coming back and do the recommended things. Sending lots of support your way Idgie xx
Hi Idgie...
Pray, girlfriend...Your HP is with you and will get you through anything if you let him in....
New Year's Eve has always been my least favorite holiday, in fact, I haven't much liked it in awhile until last year...I always assumed you had to party to enjoy it and I had a resentment that people could drink responsibily for one evening but I couldn't....LOL, today I realize that I've drank more than enough for a lifetime and I plan on a comfortable evening, away from alcohol, with my family and some movies. I got to work today so it's almost just like any other day, with a day off tomorrow that I can wake up, clean & sober and enjoy and not have any regrets about the night before or try to remember what I said or did the night before...I plan on going to the 11:30am AA meeting and then again tonight to help others and be of service...
Idgie, we're with you in spirit....I'm glad you want your life back and congrats on being sober today!
Much love,
xoxo
Stacey
Pray, girlfriend...Your HP is with you and will get you through anything if you let him in....
New Year's Eve has always been my least favorite holiday, in fact, I haven't much liked it in awhile until last year...I always assumed you had to party to enjoy it and I had a resentment that people could drink responsibily for one evening but I couldn't....LOL, today I realize that I've drank more than enough for a lifetime and I plan on a comfortable evening, away from alcohol, with my family and some movies. I got to work today so it's almost just like any other day, with a day off tomorrow that I can wake up, clean & sober and enjoy and not have any regrets about the night before or try to remember what I said or did the night before...I plan on going to the 11:30am AA meeting and then again tonight to help others and be of service...
Idgie, we're with you in spirit....I'm glad you want your life back and congrats on being sober today!
Much love,
xoxo
Stacey
Idgie,
What a great post, the honesty you contributed to this board, well I am so grateful for that..........it is hard to manage and control drinking for me too, and I tried to do that for over 20 years...however, I did not have any sober time strung together like you have had..........I had to lose almost everything to get my life back..you've got the tools, Idgie, and we are all here to help you. You do not have to do this thing alone....you deserve a wonderful and healthy life and it is time now, today!
I loved the title of your post as well, "Idgie's Journey" because you are on a journey whether sober or drinking and you are learning valuable lessons along the way....I pray that it is now time to leave the active alcoholic part of your journey by the wayside and join us on the sober journey, while we are "trudging the road to happy destiny..."
I'm so glad you are back!
Geri
What a great post, the honesty you contributed to this board, well I am so grateful for that..........it is hard to manage and control drinking for me too, and I tried to do that for over 20 years...however, I did not have any sober time strung together like you have had..........I had to lose almost everything to get my life back..you've got the tools, Idgie, and we are all here to help you. You do not have to do this thing alone....you deserve a wonderful and healthy life and it is time now, today!
I loved the title of your post as well, "Idgie's Journey" because you are on a journey whether sober or drinking and you are learning valuable lessons along the way....I pray that it is now time to leave the active alcoholic part of your journey by the wayside and join us on the sober journey, while we are "trudging the road to happy destiny..."
I'm so glad you are back!
Geri
Wow! happy new year everybody - it is 2008 already in my neck of the woods.
And yes I made it through sober. So this is the beginning of Day 2 for me.
I was so happy when I woke up (at the crack of dawn like I always do) that I jumped up made a cup of tea and came on the boards to tel you all I am sober.
And seeing your messages was a fantastic way to start the new year.
I had a super boring new year's eve but I told myself it was just another night and I was OK after that.
turns out it was good I made that decision yesterday, we had a death in the family yesterday evening and so I will have grieving relatives coming to stay with me in a day or so.
Thank you each and every one for your words of support and care, they mean so much to me and it was wonderful to come on and read them.
I will keep psoting. It is day 2 for me now, though of course its early in the morning. The sun is shining, I'm going to enjoy New Year's Day I have so much to be grateful for.
Happy new Year to you all.
And yes I made it through sober. So this is the beginning of Day 2 for me.
I was so happy when I woke up (at the crack of dawn like I always do) that I jumped up made a cup of tea and came on the boards to tel you all I am sober.
And seeing your messages was a fantastic way to start the new year.
I had a super boring new year's eve but I told myself it was just another night and I was OK after that.
turns out it was good I made that decision yesterday, we had a death in the family yesterday evening and so I will have grieving relatives coming to stay with me in a day or so.
Thank you each and every one for your words of support and care, they mean so much to me and it was wonderful to come on and read them.
I will keep psoting. It is day 2 for me now, though of course its early in the morning. The sun is shining, I'm going to enjoy New Year's Day I have so much to be grateful for.
Happy new Year to you all.
Gidday Idgie
Happy New Year to you too
Spiritually, Mentally and emotionally you have been sober for ages and now physically you are ready and already on the journey of recovery.
Idgie your post are always honest and inspirational and your input in my recovery is always a benefit..thankyou for that
New Years gets better and better as time goes by our new year was quiet we had to put one of our dogs to sleep as she had got crook so we all just spent new years eve as a family and that in its self is special
light and love Zac
Happy New Year to you too
Spiritually, Mentally and emotionally you have been sober for ages and now physically you are ready and already on the journey of recovery.
Idgie your post are always honest and inspirational and your input in my recovery is always a benefit..thankyou for that
New Years gets better and better as time goes by our new year was quiet we had to put one of our dogs to sleep as she had got crook so we all just spent new years eve as a family and that in its self is special
light and love Zac
Hi all
well day 2 is almost over, it's just after 7pm and I am in for the night. It WAS nice to be sober today. I packed up a bag of goodies, my umbrella and towel and spent the morning at the beach. I was able to spend some time in gratitude that I live 10 mins drive away from paradise.
Kept myself pretty busy the rest of the day. thoughts of a drink keep sneaking in but I don't want a drink - the thought is there though. No real cravings thus far though.
My DH has decided to go camping tomorrow with his friend. Normally I would see this as a great opportunity to spend a couple of days wasted. This time however, I will be getting ready for my relatives to visit and getting ready to go back to work with a clear head.
thanks for helping me get through 2 days sober.
Idgie.
well day 2 is almost over, it's just after 7pm and I am in for the night. It WAS nice to be sober today. I packed up a bag of goodies, my umbrella and towel and spent the morning at the beach. I was able to spend some time in gratitude that I live 10 mins drive away from paradise.
Kept myself pretty busy the rest of the day. thoughts of a drink keep sneaking in but I don't want a drink - the thought is there though. No real cravings thus far though.
My DH has decided to go camping tomorrow with his friend. Normally I would see this as a great opportunity to spend a couple of days wasted. This time however, I will be getting ready for my relatives to visit and getting ready to go back to work with a clear head.
thanks for helping me get through 2 days sober.
Idgie.
Hi Idgie,
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your dear loved one. It is never easy when we lose someone we love. Please be comforted in knowing that they are free of pain and are in a place so full of beauty and peace as this is where God's home is.
I'm so happy that you have chosen the freedom and peace that sobriety brings! You know because youv'e been there before and it's a happier and healthier way to live. We alkies sure seem to understand how important it is to keep our gratitude close at hand. For with out it all that negative space in our heads leads to trouble.
The seaside is my favorite place on Earth. I feel much peace near the water and love the warmth of the sun shining down on me. I'm so glad your only 10 minutes from paradise. I'm about 1 hr and 15 min. not to bad, but it's winter here. Actually I'm going to try to go for a day trip this month as the Grey Humpback Whales are migrating now.
Take Care, Chris
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your dear loved one. It is never easy when we lose someone we love. Please be comforted in knowing that they are free of pain and are in a place so full of beauty and peace as this is where God's home is.
I'm so happy that you have chosen the freedom and peace that sobriety brings! You know because youv'e been there before and it's a happier and healthier way to live. We alkies sure seem to understand how important it is to keep our gratitude close at hand. For with out it all that negative space in our heads leads to trouble.
The seaside is my favorite place on Earth. I feel much peace near the water and love the warmth of the sun shining down on me. I'm so glad your only 10 minutes from paradise. I'm about 1 hr and 15 min. not to bad, but it's winter here. Actually I'm going to try to go for a day trip this month as the Grey Humpback Whales are migrating now.
Take Care, Chris
Hey chris thanks for your kind words, I am not really personally affected by this loss as its a branch of the family I never really knew. But my Mum used to be quite close to this person and so she is affected.
It is day 3 for me, and I put my back out this morning so not too happy with life. It meant I didn't get to the beach or anything.
I have no desire to drink right now though so I am grateful for that. I am feeling pretty grumpy and down so I won't inflict it all on you. I have to go back to work tomorrow too which is no doubt not adding to my joy. I do like my job but I'd rather still be on holidays.
I didn't want to spend the last day of my holidays resting my back, still there it is. No doubt it is the price I am paying for being slack the last few months and not exercising regularly like I know I should.
take care all
Idgie.
It is day 3 for me, and I put my back out this morning so not too happy with life. It meant I didn't get to the beach or anything.
I have no desire to drink right now though so I am grateful for that. I am feeling pretty grumpy and down so I won't inflict it all on you. I have to go back to work tomorrow too which is no doubt not adding to my joy. I do like my job but I'd rather still be on holidays.
I didn't want to spend the last day of my holidays resting my back, still there it is. No doubt it is the price I am paying for being slack the last few months and not exercising regularly like I know I should.
take care all
Idgie.
Hi everyone
Day 4 and I am back at work - blah! But glad I have a job to come back to. I am feeling a bit more cheerful today so it is easier to be grateful.
I enjoyed my peaceful day to myself yesterday and was proud of myself for enjoying it sober for a change. Now by the time I get home my house will be invaded with people. But that is OK, that is what families are for.
I am happy to say I have no desire to drink and not suffered from any cravings as yet. I know it will be a long journey to regain my health and I am working hard at being patient.
peace to all
Idgie
Day 4 and I am back at work - blah! But glad I have a job to come back to. I am feeling a bit more cheerful today so it is easier to be grateful.
I enjoyed my peaceful day to myself yesterday and was proud of myself for enjoying it sober for a change. Now by the time I get home my house will be invaded with people. But that is OK, that is what families are for.
I am happy to say I have no desire to drink and not suffered from any cravings as yet. I know it will be a long journey to regain my health and I am working hard at being patient.
peace to all
Idgie
well here I am on day 5. Last night was interesting. There was alcohol in the house as I had family staying, but I only had one brief moment of temptation. I think it was more the alcohol being there than anything.
Tonight will be more of the same. But I am very committed to my sobriety at the moment so I'm not too worried but will be on my guard none-the-less and will say a prayer that I may be guided into the right choices all day.
My mood is a bit better today - I woke up feeling blah and my head was freaking out - just about life in general. I made myself get up and go for a long walk, then after a cup of tea and a shower I felt better.
Now I'm feeling a lot more motivated at work than I was yesterday - when I was very uneasy and unsettled.
I think maybe I was picking up last night and this morning on the grief that is in the house - it will be strong tonight I think as the funeral is this afternoon and everyone will be tapping into those emotions. I have chosen not to go to the funeral - it is not someone I was at all close to and maybe only met once or twice in my life - so I feel it is better for me not to go at this point. I can be of more service afterwards, making sure everyone who is coming over tonight is comfortable and has a good, nourishing meal and a place to relax and talk things over.
Have a happy sober day everyone.
Idgie
Tonight will be more of the same. But I am very committed to my sobriety at the moment so I'm not too worried but will be on my guard none-the-less and will say a prayer that I may be guided into the right choices all day.
My mood is a bit better today - I woke up feeling blah and my head was freaking out - just about life in general. I made myself get up and go for a long walk, then after a cup of tea and a shower I felt better.
Now I'm feeling a lot more motivated at work than I was yesterday - when I was very uneasy and unsettled.
I think maybe I was picking up last night and this morning on the grief that is in the house - it will be strong tonight I think as the funeral is this afternoon and everyone will be tapping into those emotions. I have chosen not to go to the funeral - it is not someone I was at all close to and maybe only met once or twice in my life - so I feel it is better for me not to go at this point. I can be of more service afterwards, making sure everyone who is coming over tonight is comfortable and has a good, nourishing meal and a place to relax and talk things over.
Have a happy sober day everyone.
Idgie
hi all
i've lost track of counting days as I always do - but I'm in a not good mood today. Feeling very low, gray and down. I really really strugle with this often each time I try to get sober. I know I have to grit my teeth and endure it and that it will pass but that is not much comfort at the moment.
I feel a heavy burden of wasted years. I realised today that it is nearly 3 years since I first stepped into an AA meeting - and look at the way I have frittered my life away in that time - limited recovery, limited sober time. I must say thinking about it has made me very depressed indeed.
I also think how far removed I am from having a "normal" life and it frightens the hell out of me sometimes.
I have been sitting here trying to pray and remind myself of all that I have to be grateful for. It helps momentarliy but then I sink again.
I am pushing myself to do a few chores, to keep moving and just work through. I hope I wake tomorrow in a brighter frame of mind.
thanks for listening.
Idgie.
i've lost track of counting days as I always do - but I'm in a not good mood today. Feeling very low, gray and down. I really really strugle with this often each time I try to get sober. I know I have to grit my teeth and endure it and that it will pass but that is not much comfort at the moment.
I feel a heavy burden of wasted years. I realised today that it is nearly 3 years since I first stepped into an AA meeting - and look at the way I have frittered my life away in that time - limited recovery, limited sober time. I must say thinking about it has made me very depressed indeed.
I also think how far removed I am from having a "normal" life and it frightens the hell out of me sometimes.
I have been sitting here trying to pray and remind myself of all that I have to be grateful for. It helps momentarliy but then I sink again.
I am pushing myself to do a few chores, to keep moving and just work through. I hope I wake tomorrow in a brighter frame of mind.
thanks for listening.
Idgie.
Hi Idgie,
I just read the posts you left for Pirate and maybe you need to read them over again too because your strength is there in bucket loads you just have to tap into it to get you through the way you are feeling right now. Remember 'this too shall pass". You said yourself that in your experience things start to improve around the three week mark - well you are nearly half way there. Imagine how proud of yourself you will be for getting through just today without touching that poison and waking up in the morning when the whole world might seem like a brighter place. You live nerar the sea right? You could maybe go for a long walk and try to get in touch with your HP and toss some thoughts over in your head. Maybe when you get back the thought of that first drink wont be so strong.
I've been where you are several times - and it drinking doesn't get better. I have the scars to prove it. We are all here for you. Post about ANYTHING that is going on in your head - get it out there. Problems shared = Problems halved.
My thoughts are with you - you are strong, you can do it!!
I just read the posts you left for Pirate and maybe you need to read them over again too because your strength is there in bucket loads you just have to tap into it to get you through the way you are feeling right now. Remember 'this too shall pass". You said yourself that in your experience things start to improve around the three week mark - well you are nearly half way there. Imagine how proud of yourself you will be for getting through just today without touching that poison and waking up in the morning when the whole world might seem like a brighter place. You live nerar the sea right? You could maybe go for a long walk and try to get in touch with your HP and toss some thoughts over in your head. Maybe when you get back the thought of that first drink wont be so strong.
I've been where you are several times - and it drinking doesn't get better. I have the scars to prove it. We are all here for you. Post about ANYTHING that is going on in your head - get it out there. Problems shared = Problems halved.
My thoughts are with you - you are strong, you can do it!!
Hi Idgie
so nice to meet you. I just read some of your posts and you are so much like me. I want you to know your reply to my ranting last night really helped. I kept thinking about what you said about the glow from the wine could not have been much of a glow if i had to post on here. Last night was very difficult for me. I have been drinking for years and years but the last year it has really gotten out of control. But you know what as bad and as depresssed and as grumpy that i was last night my husband said it was an improvement to the drunk me . My family have told me they want the old me back again. Last night i was so mad because i wanted people to like the drunk me but this is the first sunday in years i have waken in the morning and not have a hangover. Today i will try and cling to that and i wish you all the best and thank you thank you because you did help me last night and you were the first thing I thought about this morning when i awoke.
so nice to meet you. I just read some of your posts and you are so much like me. I want you to know your reply to my ranting last night really helped. I kept thinking about what you said about the glow from the wine could not have been much of a glow if i had to post on here. Last night was very difficult for me. I have been drinking for years and years but the last year it has really gotten out of control. But you know what as bad and as depresssed and as grumpy that i was last night my husband said it was an improvement to the drunk me . My family have told me they want the old me back again. Last night i was so mad because i wanted people to like the drunk me but this is the first sunday in years i have waken in the morning and not have a hangover. Today i will try and cling to that and i wish you all the best and thank you thank you because you did help me last night and you were the first thing I thought about this morning when i awoke.
hi idgie
you are strong I know you are cause i could feel your strenght coming through when you gave me advice HANG IN THERE people like me are counting on you for your support cause you got a lot to offer in terms of helping others recover cause you been there and can relate to us. NEXT time you feeling down think of the fact that I NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU to help me get clean and everything you went through has not been in vain.Take care and I hope to hear from you soon....pirate
you are strong I know you are cause i could feel your strenght coming through when you gave me advice HANG IN THERE people like me are counting on you for your support cause you got a lot to offer in terms of helping others recover cause you been there and can relate to us. NEXT time you feeling down think of the fact that I NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU to help me get clean and everything you went through has not been in vain.Take care and I hope to hear from you soon....pirate
Hi Pirate
*waving*
I am feeling much better this morning - I actually am looking forward to going to work and being productive today - that'll probably last 5 mins once I get to work!! LOL No J/K I think it will be OK.
It's nice to wake up instead of coming to isn't it Pirate?
Ruth thanks for your support - it actually did make me feel better posting to someone else cause it made me think about how it affects me too.
Pirate, it is wonderful that your family is supporting you that is a huge thing. Does your family drink? I mean any kind of drinkig - social?
My husband is trying to quit also and I told him again yesterday if he needs to drink can he please go out and drink because right now it is hard for me having that stuff in the house.
so that is one good way for you family to help you - and maybe they already are - by not having alcohol in the house or drinkng around you.
It doesn't have to be a life sentence, it just helps in those first few weeks, months?
did you say you were going to an inpatient facility? Tell us more.
I gotta go to work.
have a happy sober day
Idgie.
*waving*
I am feeling much better this morning - I actually am looking forward to going to work and being productive today - that'll probably last 5 mins once I get to work!! LOL No J/K I think it will be OK.
It's nice to wake up instead of coming to isn't it Pirate?
Ruth thanks for your support - it actually did make me feel better posting to someone else cause it made me think about how it affects me too.
Pirate, it is wonderful that your family is supporting you that is a huge thing. Does your family drink? I mean any kind of drinkig - social?
My husband is trying to quit also and I told him again yesterday if he needs to drink can he please go out and drink because right now it is hard for me having that stuff in the house.
so that is one good way for you family to help you - and maybe they already are - by not having alcohol in the house or drinkng around you.
It doesn't have to be a life sentence, it just helps in those first few weeks, months?
did you say you were going to an inpatient facility? Tell us more.
I gotta go to work.
have a happy sober day
Idgie.
Hey Ruth I just wanted to say I really appreciated what you had to say and your encouragement. sorry if I was a bit light on earlier I was in a hurry dashing off to work. I realised later maybe it seemed like I wasn't as appreciative as I could be - but I reallly truly am.
