ME:
-im a 22 yr old young man.
-i live at home w/ parents. (recently moved back in to save money for school)
-i didnt attend class this semester b/c of money and credit problems, im barely hanging in there.
-i work part-time.
-when im not working im just laying around watching tv or dvds...i dont DO anything. ive become entirely lazy and out of shape. i am unmotivated.
-all the laying around and getting fat has caused depression b/c of image problems. im always anxious (including anxiety fits where i cant "breathe" even when i am breathing) and depressed. i have no social life, no friends, no significant other...just my parents.
MY ADDICTION:
-i dont do anyother drugs/drink, except very occassionally marijuana, and daily oxy.
-ive been chewing 160+mg/day of oxy for about 4 months now.
-my mother gets all kinds of meds for chronic pain. (including oxy 80s, 40s, and 20s, duragestic patches 100mg, iv demerol shots at times, etc...)
-my mother and i are enabalers. she gives me what i want, and in return i look past her addictions.
-we pretend to eachother that what we do is justifeied. she does this for me b/c she really thinks i need it for my pain, which i did, but not anymore.
- i told her today im done taking.
-she has failed detoxing before herself and i dont expect her to quit her meds...after all, she really does have pain.
-she feels horrible worrying about me with this...its not her fault. i think she may blame herself for my problems...she carries around alot of guilt about past experiences and, i believe, this is part of the reason that she is an enabaler to me.
-so once i quit ill have pain-killers all around me still.
So, here i am. ive decied that, before i get hook for years, i want out now.
im going to call a psychologist monday and explain myself and situation, and see if he would have me go Cold Turk, or Taper down my dose.
ive decided that im too young to have my life stolen from me. i really think that once i get through withdraw i wont have problems.
so, what do you think of my situation? am i doing the right thing? i just want to get my life back together before i end up doing somethng i regret forever.
right now im pretty depressed about everything,
although, i am aware that i still have many good opportunities. there is still some light at the end of the tunnel for me. i havent drowned all the way yet, but im getting tired of struggling...
by the way, the icing on the preverbial cake for all of this, is that my father is completely clueless to my plight. the only other person who knows this is my mother.
also, she ran out of pills a week ago and ive been using her duragesic patches to keep me going....thats when i realized i was in over my head.
also, she ran out of pills a week ago and ive been using her duragesic patches to keep me going....thats when i realized i was in over my head.
hi,
i am glad you realized you are in over your head.i know from exp that it is a must to get professional help.it also takes a big load off your shoulder to have someone help you with your addiction.You said something that lead me to believe that you think just quitting the pills will be enough.i don't want to make things worse but quitting is the easy part.it's the rest of our lives that gets hard.
please keep sharing and do follow through with the doctor.i can't tell you enough how important it is.Oxy's are some strong and powerful stuff.
love,
ladybug
i am glad you realized you are in over your head.i know from exp that it is a must to get professional help.it also takes a big load off your shoulder to have someone help you with your addiction.You said something that lead me to believe that you think just quitting the pills will be enough.i don't want to make things worse but quitting is the easy part.it's the rest of our lives that gets hard.
please keep sharing and do follow through with the doctor.i can't tell you enough how important it is.Oxy's are some strong and powerful stuff.
love,
ladybug
It would be good to see a psychiatrist specializing in addiction problems to help you taper and treat your depression with meds in addiction to the psychologist. I would also try a 12 step program that's convenient either pills anonymous or NA or AA.
There's every reason to be hopeful but the road may be longer than you think.
Good luck,
Lucia
There's every reason to be hopeful but the road may be longer than you think.
Good luck,
Lucia
ive done just about every drug i could get my hands on throughout the years. i dont have an addictive personality. even when i start to get sick from not taking meds i dont "crave" the drug. i really believe that i can beat this. i have a strong will to make it. i dont expect this to be easy after withdraw, although i dont think it will be as hard for me as it is for some people, especially people who have been on this for years. perhaps i just dont know
atomisk,
I won't be preachy, but keep away from the duragesic. It doesn't work the same as oral based meds and is VERY difficuilt to taper off of. For de-toxing look up the Thomas recipe in a search engine. That will give you some tips on what to do for withdrawal. By catching your problem early, you may not have really bad withdrawal.
Good luck!
I won't be preachy, but keep away from the duragesic. It doesn't work the same as oral based meds and is VERY difficuilt to taper off of. For de-toxing look up the Thomas recipe in a search engine. That will give you some tips on what to do for withdrawal. By catching your problem early, you may not have really bad withdrawal.
Good luck!
i think you are in for an awakening.
Atomisk, I am a 53 year old woman who has been addicted to Xanx and Loretab/Percocet/Percodan etc,etc,etc. YOU MUST GET HELP NOW! Believe me I KNOW. I have been addicted to these medications for well over 20 years, non stop. Please, I am BEGGING YOU, do it NOW.
I just got up the courage to go to a Rehab on 2/16/04, and I was an inpatient there after they Detoxed me. The only reason that I felt I really needed to detox, was for all these years I have read the warning labels on both types of drugs that I take, and they both say not to quit abruptly if you have been taking them for more that 2 weeks, because there is the possibility or PROBABILTY in my case that you can go into seizures.
I have been on them for so long that I hardly know what to do with myself without them. I have heard a lot of people on the Board who have been prescribed alternative medications that ARE NOT addictive. I am hoping that when I finally see the Psyciatrist next Thursday, that he has some knowledge of these medications.
You DO NOT want to end up like me, please, please get help from somone, I honestly don't think that you can do it by yourself, especially if you live with your Mother and she is doing more than what you were. There is too much temptation in a situation like that. I know because my Husband still uses, so I told him that if I find it inside my house one more time, that I will FLUSH it ALL.
Please, hang in there and please get some help, I am living proof of what those drugs can do to you. I will not bore you with all the particulars of my withdrawals, just let's say it is the very worst thing that I have ever been through, and I have had 2 children.
Take care and let us know what you decide. The decision is in your hands now, you are so young to just throw your entire adult life away. And that is what you will be doing if you continue the drug abuse.
I will keep you in my prayers, you are 10 years younger than my youngest son, and 10 years older than my gradson. So believe me, when I say I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.
God Bless,
Mary
I just got up the courage to go to a Rehab on 2/16/04, and I was an inpatient there after they Detoxed me. The only reason that I felt I really needed to detox, was for all these years I have read the warning labels on both types of drugs that I take, and they both say not to quit abruptly if you have been taking them for more that 2 weeks, because there is the possibility or PROBABILTY in my case that you can go into seizures.
I have been on them for so long that I hardly know what to do with myself without them. I have heard a lot of people on the Board who have been prescribed alternative medications that ARE NOT addictive. I am hoping that when I finally see the Psyciatrist next Thursday, that he has some knowledge of these medications.
You DO NOT want to end up like me, please, please get help from somone, I honestly don't think that you can do it by yourself, especially if you live with your Mother and she is doing more than what you were. There is too much temptation in a situation like that. I know because my Husband still uses, so I told him that if I find it inside my house one more time, that I will FLUSH it ALL.
Please, hang in there and please get some help, I am living proof of what those drugs can do to you. I will not bore you with all the particulars of my withdrawals, just let's say it is the very worst thing that I have ever been through, and I have had 2 children.
Take care and let us know what you decide. The decision is in your hands now, you are so young to just throw your entire adult life away. And that is what you will be doing if you continue the drug abuse.
I will keep you in my prayers, you are 10 years younger than my youngest son, and 10 years older than my gradson. So believe me, when I say I DO CARE ABOUT YOU.
God Bless,
Mary
thank you all.
maryconch7, your words touch me.
i am calling a psychologist monday, i want help as soon as absolutely possible.
i really hate myself on these drugs, and i have a real will to get off them.
i would go cold-turk, but i think it may be smarter to see a professional first.
also, MC7, you hit on a point that may cause me trouble. my mother will still be taking drugs. they will be in the house im living in, all the time!!!
maryconch7, your words touch me.
i am calling a psychologist monday, i want help as soon as absolutely possible.
i really hate myself on these drugs, and i have a real will to get off them.
i would go cold-turk, but i think it may be smarter to see a professional first.
also, MC7, you hit on a point that may cause me trouble. my mother will still be taking drugs. they will be in the house im living in, all the time!!!
also, my poor mother didnt expect to get torn apart by the carnage of addiction when she first was prescribed these meds. she didnt realize to what point they were addicting.
her tolernance goes up, so they up the dosage. all of a sudden shes cutting patches and doing god knows what to get "that feeling," which of course is entirely futile.
this drug has turned my beloved little mother into a raveging opiate monster with an appetite like a demon. i hurt for her so much.
her tolernance goes up, so they up the dosage. all of a sudden shes cutting patches and doing god knows what to get "that feeling," which of course is entirely futile.
this drug has turned my beloved little mother into a raveging opiate monster with an appetite like a demon. i hurt for her so much.
I think it's great that you're wanting out..Addiction sucks..And it's hard as anything to get over. I have no advice for you, except to be strong and stay strong. I wish you the best of luck! :)
Atomisk, I am very glad if I helped you in any way, and I am also very happy to hear that you are going to see a Pysiciatrist (sp). I will keep you in my prayers and if you do have to go to Detox, let me know.
You have made the right decision, and I am very proud of you.
Keep in touch, I will include my email on this post just for you.
God Bless,
Mary
Maryconch7@Yahoo.com
You have made the right decision, and I am very proud of you.
Keep in touch, I will include my email on this post just for you.
God Bless,
Mary
Maryconch7@Yahoo.com
dear atomisk -
good for you for realizing you in over your head. that's the first step to realizing our truth when we can see the things we need to change.
i hope and pray that this is as easy as detoxing and then being ok. however, if you find it's not, and if you find yourself thinking about taking pills, please write. obsessive thinking of our substances of addiction and the compulsion we exhibit when we use are symptoms of the disease of addiction. i want you to know that there is a solution.
hugs and tons of encouragement to you.
sammy
p.s perhaps, you will check with a doctor before detoxing to make sure you remain physically safe. physical safety is paramount during detox and you deserve to be safe.
good for you for realizing you in over your head. that's the first step to realizing our truth when we can see the things we need to change.
i hope and pray that this is as easy as detoxing and then being ok. however, if you find it's not, and if you find yourself thinking about taking pills, please write. obsessive thinking of our substances of addiction and the compulsion we exhibit when we use are symptoms of the disease of addiction. i want you to know that there is a solution.
hugs and tons of encouragement to you.
sammy
p.s perhaps, you will check with a doctor before detoxing to make sure you remain physically safe. physical safety is paramount during detox and you deserve to be safe.
