I feel like ive been to hell and back.The thing that makes me so mad is im still in pain...Yes i used morphine that wasnt prescribed 4 me 4 years Yes i was on buponorphine twice once for ten days 2nd time 4 3 mths...Ive been clean for 8 weeks but still feel like total crap...Obviously theres sumthin wrong with my back but no dr takes me seriously because ive been a junkie...What a joke i may as well go wak up a kapanol...Im mad and angry i feel like ive been betrayed gone thru hell to feel like this....Man i am in hell it would b so easy to take away my pain but im still fighting i feel crazy...Maybe thats the antidepressants dr cant give me vals or anything but pumps these anti deps into me and i dont feel normal...I think i need a new scenery its to hard when i see users,dealers etc i dont need no reminder....Just want to b ache free 4 1 day....Sounds good but i know morph only will make me worst...I just want this achin to end plz Its good to get that off my chest i wish id never heard of morph how i wish 2 b normal if only i could turn bak time lol wishful thinkn hey
its probaly the bup thats making you ache too its a strong drug i ache every day and night and im only on 1 0.4 a day goodluck
Katz33...
I know the feeling of not being normal, but keep in mind that the drugs have hard-wired your brain into something temporarily different. I have been off Vics for only a little over two weeks and my mind and body feel like a chaotic mess. I mourn over the lost years---3 and a half years----being lured into the seductive illusion of living in a painless world. Hello, I was only masking all my problems, instead of dealing with them in a more productive fashion. Maybe, the antidepressants the DR is giving you are not helping---try something else. I was just put on Wellbutrin, so I don't know yet if they are going to work. I think it shows what a strong person you are in resisting the allure of using. You ought to give yourself credit for that. It will take awhile before you start feeling better (believe me I am in a deep depression as well), because our brains need to heal from the years of abuse, that is the only truth that sustains me through this rough time. Take care of yourself.
I know the feeling of not being normal, but keep in mind that the drugs have hard-wired your brain into something temporarily different. I have been off Vics for only a little over two weeks and my mind and body feel like a chaotic mess. I mourn over the lost years---3 and a half years----being lured into the seductive illusion of living in a painless world. Hello, I was only masking all my problems, instead of dealing with them in a more productive fashion. Maybe, the antidepressants the DR is giving you are not helping---try something else. I was just put on Wellbutrin, so I don't know yet if they are going to work. I think it shows what a strong person you are in resisting the allure of using. You ought to give yourself credit for that. It will take awhile before you start feeling better (believe me I am in a deep depression as well), because our brains need to heal from the years of abuse, that is the only truth that sustains me through this rough time. Take care of yourself.
