neil is bck in jail up to now he is going to finish his licence off which is 14 months but he is in court on friday for sentencing so he could be in jail for up to 5 years , i cant stop crying he was only out for 11 weeks and now this !!! I dont know what to do with myself i can be walking down the road then all of a sudden i start crying , i feel so alone im devestated that this has happened , He is also upset but more angry with himself ,he said he was so sorry for letting evry one down .The thought which keeps going through my mind is what if he commits suicide as he is also bi polar , im going out my mind with worry and im missin him so much an he as only been gone for 6 days up to now , he says he is taking it to trial (he still declares his inocence) but with his past record he has no chance even if he is innocent (he was charged on burglary) . I dont know how im going to carry on ive never felt this low before when he was sent to jail , i cant even get out to go to meetings as i have no one to look after my children thanks for listening emma x
I am so sorry for your feeling depressed. I think it must be going around. I myself have been having thoughts that I haven't had in years- - self esteem issues, loneliness, and this idle time is no fuc**** good.
I haven't done anything drug wise- - but my past has crossed my mind.
I think if things weren't so different in my life now, I already might has screwed up
I didnt mean to steal your post- and I didnt want to get so personal , but with no-one here as an outlet for me, why not trust you guys- -
Im just so sick and tired of filling out resumes, applications, checking out different schools or classes- - I'm to the point where last week I just played my guitar a bit, read a little. clicked around the TV- -I need something to click for me
I think the reason Ive stayed away from the drugs is that #1> to feel the heroin over my methadone isn't going to happen -#2- if I take any benzo,s they will turn up I'm my samples & that will be the beginning of the end when they take away my take home bottles.
So ol' Jack is having a bad time of it lately- - I'm sure that part of the reason is that I stopped taking these Cynbaltas(antidepressants)- that the doctor gave me 2 months ago-
Anyway, send some happy vibes people- - depression sux
loveJaCk
I haven't done anything drug wise- - but my past has crossed my mind.
I think if things weren't so different in my life now, I already might has screwed up
I didnt mean to steal your post- and I didnt want to get so personal , but with no-one here as an outlet for me, why not trust you guys- -
Im just so sick and tired of filling out resumes, applications, checking out different schools or classes- - I'm to the point where last week I just played my guitar a bit, read a little. clicked around the TV- -I need something to click for me
I think the reason Ive stayed away from the drugs is that #1> to feel the heroin over my methadone isn't going to happen -#2- if I take any benzo,s they will turn up I'm my samples & that will be the beginning of the end when they take away my take home bottles.
So ol' Jack is having a bad time of it lately- - I'm sure that part of the reason is that I stopped taking these Cynbaltas(antidepressants)- that the doctor gave me 2 months ago-
Anyway, send some happy vibes people- - depression sux
loveJaCk
Emily, Jack.
Don't think anyone is stealing anyones post here the thread is depression and that's the biggest things in our lives I think. The common thread on here, that sense of feeling alone, of having no one to talk to, rant at. And that is why we all come back. For those addicted it's a trigger, for those whose lives are tainted by this it's what brings on the tears.
Emz if you need to cry you need to cry and you've got to do that before you can go forward.
Jack looking for a job is a full time job in itself. There's nothing wrong with taking a day out to play the guitar and read, the tv can bring it's own problems so avoid during daylight hours. But music, reading, going for a walk, swimming bring it all on. It'll recharge your batteries for those job applications. And try to get out The last 2 jobs i've had are because i bumped into someone who knew someone who needed - that's the way it goes.
On the depression front i spent the whole of yesterday in bed cuz life was so bad today it's better. It's how things are sometimes.
Sending happy vibes.
You both stay strong.
k
Don't think anyone is stealing anyones post here the thread is depression and that's the biggest things in our lives I think. The common thread on here, that sense of feeling alone, of having no one to talk to, rant at. And that is why we all come back. For those addicted it's a trigger, for those whose lives are tainted by this it's what brings on the tears.
Emz if you need to cry you need to cry and you've got to do that before you can go forward.
Jack looking for a job is a full time job in itself. There's nothing wrong with taking a day out to play the guitar and read, the tv can bring it's own problems so avoid during daylight hours. But music, reading, going for a walk, swimming bring it all on. It'll recharge your batteries for those job applications. And try to get out The last 2 jobs i've had are because i bumped into someone who knew someone who needed - that's the way it goes.
On the depression front i spent the whole of yesterday in bed cuz life was so bad today it's better. It's how things are sometimes.
Sending happy vibes.
You both stay strong.
k
I am really depressed too....i get tired of recovery telling me that i must keep it foremost in my life....all else taking a back seat...all i do is eat and sleep recovery...everything is no no no no no or ELSE..
I know i am just whining...i see others getting stoned all the time and life seems to flow smoothly for them regardless...i've even had joints shoved in my face but of course i have to say no but cause i am too chickens*** and spineless to know when to call it quits and alas i would be stoned 24/7 and i would not seem to function as others seem to do.
for once it would be so nice not to have to think at all
sorry to be such a bummer and i am still
clean even as i key this in
blah blah Mary
I know i am just whining...i see others getting stoned all the time and life seems to flow smoothly for them regardless...i've even had joints shoved in my face but of course i have to say no but cause i am too chickens*** and spineless to know when to call it quits and alas i would be stoned 24/7 and i would not seem to function as others seem to do.
for once it would be so nice not to have to think at all
sorry to be such a bummer and i am still
clean even as i key this in
blah blah Mary
Was going to reply the othe day, but the words would not come out. How are you feeling today? There have been a few times in my recovery, hell in life too, that depressionnhas risen, but i did pass in the end.
Jack, i feel like that too sometimes, but we are allowed to to chill out time for US, we forget that. Emz, have you heard from Neil?
Thinking of you both at this time, Kev
Jack, i feel like that too sometimes, but we are allowed to to chill out time for US, we forget that. Emz, have you heard from Neil?
Thinking of you both at this time, Kev
