Does anyone know where I can find forms to help the family figure out what to say during an intervention to their loved one?
Personally, I have not seen or heard of a real-life intervention that has been successful. The A&E show Intervention has certainly increased the popularity of professional interventions. I would be interested in seeing the success statistics a year or two after the intervention. This is something you do not want to try on your own. However, these are the recommend steps to take.
Set your team.
Get concerned people around who will help. Each person has to be willing to look the addict in the eye and say, "You have a problem and you need help." If one person feels uncomfortable about that, you've got a weak link who should not be involved in the process.
Confront factually, but with love, care and concern.
Bring a written list of data to the intervention that describes in detail the evidence that your loved one is using drugs. Confront him/her with content, not argument.
Remember that you are talking to the drugs, not the person.
Any time someone is addicted to drugs, the substance takes over their reasoning and problem solving, and creates all types of paranoia and anger.
Create a crisis for the troubled person.
Remember that arguments are a comfort zone for a person on drugs because it allows him/her to stay in denial. Bring it to a head by giving him/her a choice to get treatment, or face the undesirable alternative, such as jail, getting kicked out of the house, having no contact with family, etc.
Focus only on chemically-related issues.
Keep it focused on the fact that the addict has a disease for which he/she needs professional help. Be specific about when, where and with whom a chemically-related incident happened. Stay on point without emotions or distractions. It's not about yelling, screaming, or your opinions. It's about facts.
Get a commitment to go to treatment or be prepared to break contact.
You have to be prepared for the hard decision of letting that person go if treatment is refused. It doesn't just affect the addict, it takes a toll on the entire family.
Have a firm, immediate plan. You don't want to waste time after you get a commitment. If the person agrees to get help, have a treatment center set up to admit him/her immediately. If the person does not agree to get treatment, know in advance how you will respond.
To prepare for an intervention, it is recommended everyone bring a list of factual data over a period of time that spells out without a doubt that the person is using drugs or alcohol. Include the date, what happened, what was said and done and how it made you feel. Make sure there is no speculation, only facts.
For example: "In August, 2001, I overheard you ordering drugs over the phone. I confronted you, but you denied it and told me I was crazy. I cried myself to sleep that night. I was angry about your accusations and hurt that you wouldn't talk to me."
You can look for specific data in these areas:
Changes in pattern of use: denies use, hides supply, uses alone, increased use, can't stop using, increased tolerance, etc.
Behavior when using: becomes happy/animated/angry, becomes violent, increased arguments/fights, becomes withdrawn/silent, up all night/sleeps all day, etc.
How use is affecting: job, finances, relationships, health, responsibilities, safety, family, etc.
Documentation Sheet
If a loved one is using drugs, use a worksheet to gather the facts to present to him/her during an intervention.
Date:
This is what happened:
This is what I said and did:
This is how I felt:
Set your team.
Get concerned people around who will help. Each person has to be willing to look the addict in the eye and say, "You have a problem and you need help." If one person feels uncomfortable about that, you've got a weak link who should not be involved in the process.
Confront factually, but with love, care and concern.
Bring a written list of data to the intervention that describes in detail the evidence that your loved one is using drugs. Confront him/her with content, not argument.
Remember that you are talking to the drugs, not the person.
Any time someone is addicted to drugs, the substance takes over their reasoning and problem solving, and creates all types of paranoia and anger.
Create a crisis for the troubled person.
Remember that arguments are a comfort zone for a person on drugs because it allows him/her to stay in denial. Bring it to a head by giving him/her a choice to get treatment, or face the undesirable alternative, such as jail, getting kicked out of the house, having no contact with family, etc.
Focus only on chemically-related issues.
Keep it focused on the fact that the addict has a disease for which he/she needs professional help. Be specific about when, where and with whom a chemically-related incident happened. Stay on point without emotions or distractions. It's not about yelling, screaming, or your opinions. It's about facts.
Get a commitment to go to treatment or be prepared to break contact.
You have to be prepared for the hard decision of letting that person go if treatment is refused. It doesn't just affect the addict, it takes a toll on the entire family.
Have a firm, immediate plan. You don't want to waste time after you get a commitment. If the person agrees to get help, have a treatment center set up to admit him/her immediately. If the person does not agree to get treatment, know in advance how you will respond.
To prepare for an intervention, it is recommended everyone bring a list of factual data over a period of time that spells out without a doubt that the person is using drugs or alcohol. Include the date, what happened, what was said and done and how it made you feel. Make sure there is no speculation, only facts.
For example: "In August, 2001, I overheard you ordering drugs over the phone. I confronted you, but you denied it and told me I was crazy. I cried myself to sleep that night. I was angry about your accusations and hurt that you wouldn't talk to me."
You can look for specific data in these areas:
Changes in pattern of use: denies use, hides supply, uses alone, increased use, can't stop using, increased tolerance, etc.
Behavior when using: becomes happy/animated/angry, becomes violent, increased arguments/fights, becomes withdrawn/silent, up all night/sleeps all day, etc.
How use is affecting: job, finances, relationships, health, responsibilities, safety, family, etc.
Documentation Sheet
If a loved one is using drugs, use a worksheet to gather the facts to present to him/her during an intervention.
Date:
This is what happened:
This is what I said and did:
This is how I felt:
Hey Cynical, are you in the addictions help field?
You are very knowledgeable.
if you are, then I know where to come for help with my assignments.
That info was great, I'm going to print it off and keep it.
Thanks, Take care
Karen
You are very knowledgeable.
if you are, then I know where to come for help with my assignments.
That info was great, I'm going to print it off and keep it.
Thanks, Take care
Karen
Karen,
I volunteer at a rehab, but I'm in adminstration not involved in the recovery process. My ex bf is a crack addict, so for the last 6 years I have studied all I can about addiction. Glad I could help, you can find me on the Friends and Family board if you have any more questions, I will try to help anytime. I only lurk here every now and then.
I volunteer at a rehab, but I'm in adminstration not involved in the recovery process. My ex bf is a crack addict, so for the last 6 years I have studied all I can about addiction. Glad I could help, you can find me on the Friends and Family board if you have any more questions, I will try to help anytime. I only lurk here every now and then.
