Is He Alive?

Feeling so sad - son has been in trouble for 10 yrs- drugs, drinking, theft. We have been thru hell with him - destruction of our property, theft of our credit cards, jewelry, electronics, cars (he stole my car and drove to FL), forged checks - he's done it all. the latest - got out of jail early Dec - "supposedly" working construction - now - no contact. Not listed in inmate databases.
Hope and pray he is not hurt. Not like him not to call.
Holidays for me are hell- other family members his age are doing the normal things - college, careers, etc. We have ONE thing - got his GED.
Just venting - he has sucked the joy out of my life. He was adopted - I waited years to be a mother and for 14 years we were so happy. And now I just feel so cheated.
Hubby has a good Al-Anon group which comforts him. I have not found one.
Wish I could get by this and start living my life again - marriage is suffering.
VS MOM--- hang in there, you are not alone. My son has been sinking further and further in to addiction and I also feel helpless, joyless, alone. I live in a small town where there are very little resources. I also do not ha access to an alanon, and have turned to this forum as I don't know who else I can turn too. So far I have been in contact with a wonderful women that "gets it" and can validate my feelings. My husband is supportive, but doesn't understand what I'm feeling, as he is my son's stepfather. I have looked forward to logging on to this forum because everyone is like me and you!! I too feel like I can't go on some days, and have actually been going through a rough couple of days. I told my husband that I finally am falling apart. I've cried for two days straight, but I have to tell you it has been healing. I always try to stay strong, well that all changed. I will continue to stay strong, after this breakdown, and continue to fight. I have been given some good ideas in what I might be able to do to help my son and know you all are on my side fighting the same fight. I am here right beside you.....