First, I hope it's not a problem that I'm posting in here instead of in the painkillers forum. . . although heroin is my DOC morphine is my DOC-er (drug of convenience). I have been trying to make decision about MMT for almost 2 years now. My first attempt to get into a clinic was thwarted by the 2 year waiting list at the only one within 2 hours of my city and the fact that I was moving out of state in a few months.
First used heroin and morphine when I was 16, started using (hard opiates) habitually and pretty heavily when I was 26/27, so it's been 4 or 5 years now. In the past I've run the gamut of other drugs, but at this point I only use pharmaceuticals (benzos, and on-and-off legal stimulants*/ ketamine/ partial opiate agonists when I can get the timing right). I was actually on prescription for the morphine at one point in time, and do have legitimate and ongoing pain issues, but I cannot and won't pretend my level of use can be attributed to this, since I'm pretty sure the script never had 'crush and inject' written on it. My two accidental opiate ODs in 2004 and last September produced major complications and required relatively extensive hospital stays. Despite my poly-drug use, I've never managd to become physically dependant on any non-opioid and, aside from cigarettes, this is the only (category of) drug I can honestly say I honestly cannot manag my use of. Frankly, I've managed to quit smoking for longer periods of time in the past 4 years than I have gone without using "hard" opiates.
I've been put off in the past by the long-term commitment involved with methadone clinics, but I'm realizing now that I've obviously already made a long term commitment. Now I am really starting to believe that it would be in my best interests to make the conditions of my commitment a little bit safer. Rumor has it that stuff like getting mugged and vasculitis/cellulitis are not amongst the more common risks of methadone maintainence.
The main reason I am looking at methadone rather than suboxone is that while I can and have managed to withdraw myself, I cannot and have not managed to maintain abstinence. Other than the benzos, which I use therapeutically, albeit at times inappropriately, I do have faith that I could commit with little difficulty to to all the rules regarding abstinence from other drugs with a reliable and safe option for my opiates. I am more concerned about the benzodiazapenes since they have so far proven to the only consistant and reliable solution out of all commonly used treatments- controlled, uncontrolled rX, supplements, lifestyle/sleep hygiene- to provide any relief for my extreme and lifelong sleep disorder**. I know this is a major conflict, but I guess at this point I'm not sure even sleep is more vital than getting the needle out of my life. I guess I'm also hoping that getting the opiate addiction under control might provide a stability and consistency to make the more benign options for sleep management work.
At this point I am honstly seeking to get my life under control because I cannot stand what my disorders and addictions have turned me into. I have heard so many times that I need to get X under control before working on Y, but having been in issue-specific programs on multiple occasions, I do not believe that this is the answer for me. I've also gone to my fair share of 12-step meetings since 1990-- even have a copy of the basic text in my library (actually, by my bed- it's in my circulation of current reading)-- I do not feel that this alone-nor in combo with therapy- is enough support to overcome the addiction issue.
I think my reluctance to admit my drug problem, despite the fact that it's so obvious to the friends I used to have and to my family that it's a joke, is one of my fears about MMT. But it also seems like methadon therapy would pretty much make it impossible for me to maintain the lies/denial. Am I right in thinking that this would improve my chances for success?
I fear the so-called "liquid handcuffs", but locally-based state funded psychiatric rehab program (which offers everything from residential centers/supportive housing and day treatment on down to outpatient individual therapy, as well as referrals for what they do not provide), that appears to be my only option at this point involves a long-term commitment anyway. I know I need this level of support, I'm only "dissing" it because my experiences with community mental health resources over the past few years have been so bad- inadequate, disrespectful, et cetera. However, if I'm going to be stuck in this city anyway, having to go in for regular dosing isn't really a legit excuse.
I *don't* want to be on methadone for the rest of my life, because I know that will prevent me from living the life I know (I allegedly) potentially can. Is it realistic to believe that if I accept an honest commitment to the long term work to get the rest of my stuff together, I *will* eventually be able to live without dope? And in the interim, will the methadone actually keep the monkey in the cage?
I apologize if this is the wrong board for this issue- I got the link from a methadone treatment site. I do appreciate input from those with experience.
*In large part related to my eating disorder.
**Not garden variety insomnia- I'm talking about a regular pattern of staying up- not due to stimulant use for a minimum of 2-4 days straight before I'm able to get 2-10 hours (depending on how long I've been up) of fitful sleep. This is actually an *improvement* from a couple of years ago, after my triazolam rX was D/Ced not due to misuse but to tolerance. Since the problem has been ongoing throughout my life, regardless of intermittent improvements with my depression and eating, and independant of the various myriad psych. meds I've been on, it has been ruled to be legit separate issue.
Awwwwwww, I so am feeling for you. I don't know much about the methadone, but Jack, Shirley and a few other people do. They know alot and will help.
You've been through alot. So much. Hang on, and I'm sure you are making better choices.
Sorry I can't help more.
You've been through alot. So much. Hang on, and I'm sure you are making better choices.
Sorry I can't help more.
It sounds like you're having a pretty rough time. I really can sympathize with you. It took me a long time to decide to go on methadone. I think the main thing that held me back was that I didn't want to be strung on something that didn't even get me high. But you know what??? I wasn't getting high anymore anyway. Methadone has helped in a lot of ways. Mainly, it's stabilized me so that I can get my life in order. I can hold a job now and pay my bills. And people are actually beginning to trust me again. Methadone has many bad points also but it can be a useful tool. I hope this helps. It will definetly help you sleep. That's practically all I can do when I sit still for a few minutes!LOL.
Ive stated my posistion on mdone many times. It should not be ridiculed as a treatment when its results for getting of off heroin speak for itself.
The statistics show that the hep/HIV rate amongst IV users has gone down over recent years. Along with mdone,- needle exchange and education have played a major role.--
All that being said, mdone treatment shouldnt be taken lightly. Once you feel stable and get your sh*t together, normal life should be retrieved as soon as you feel up to it.- - Counseling (and if you like meetings) should be part of this recovery/treatment.-
Mdone can make one lazy ,so staying active in a positive way is essential to a successful road to recovery.- Also, only you will know when its time to taper.- Tapering off of mdone is no joke. Trying to early or when your not really serious only leads to relapase
Mdone has its side effects- and getting to a clinic can be a hassle for some. So make your decision carefully.
Ive successfully gotten my life back with mdone,but Ill be the 1st to say its not the way for everyone. When I 1st got on,there was no other drugs like the sub drugs today. Im still on the clinic ,and although it isnt a hassle for me ,as I get 6 take home bottles,& can get a month of vacation bottles if I need them -there still is the stigma of " being on the program"
weigh your options-
keep in touch,
jack
I just remembered after looking over your post. Most clinics will have a real problem with you being on benzo,s. You might need your doctor to get involved so if you need to continue to use them,the clinic will allow it.
The statistics show that the hep/HIV rate amongst IV users has gone down over recent years. Along with mdone,- needle exchange and education have played a major role.--
All that being said, mdone treatment shouldnt be taken lightly. Once you feel stable and get your sh*t together, normal life should be retrieved as soon as you feel up to it.- - Counseling (and if you like meetings) should be part of this recovery/treatment.-
Mdone can make one lazy ,so staying active in a positive way is essential to a successful road to recovery.- Also, only you will know when its time to taper.- Tapering off of mdone is no joke. Trying to early or when your not really serious only leads to relapase
Mdone has its side effects- and getting to a clinic can be a hassle for some. So make your decision carefully.
Ive successfully gotten my life back with mdone,but Ill be the 1st to say its not the way for everyone. When I 1st got on,there was no other drugs like the sub drugs today. Im still on the clinic ,and although it isnt a hassle for me ,as I get 6 take home bottles,& can get a month of vacation bottles if I need them -there still is the stigma of " being on the program"
weigh your options-
keep in touch,
jack
I just remembered after looking over your post. Most clinics will have a real problem with you being on benzo,s. You might need your doctor to get involved so if you need to continue to use them,the clinic will allow it.
Bupe is not enough, I've tried, however. . .
Have decided this issue might be better dealt with after I get my depression under control. Pray for a miracle.
Have decided this issue might be better dealt with after I get my depression under control. Pray for a miracle.
Hi,
my son is on methadone and I tried desperately to discourage him from going on it. Now, in hindsight, perhaps I was premature in my bias against methadone. It came down to having a heroin-injecting addicted son who would possibly be dead from his lifestyle or maintaining himself on a clean, regulated drug. He ultimately chose the latter.
Even with this being the case, however, there are definitely drawbacks, at least initially. One of them, as the poster above mentioned, is the fact the the proper amount for a person must be adjusted carefully and titrated accordingly.
The major drawback, as I see it, from methadone maintenance is the fact that one must physically be at a clinic every day (with the exception, perhaps of Sundays and certain holidays) in order to receive the dose of methadone.
My son missed one of his days due to car trouble and could not find someone at the last minute to drive him to the clinic. He felt absolutely, terribly, physically sick for the rest of the day as a result of missing his "dose." This is the bad thing, in my opinion, is this absolute necessity of being at the clinic at a certain time each day.
my son is on methadone and I tried desperately to discourage him from going on it. Now, in hindsight, perhaps I was premature in my bias against methadone. It came down to having a heroin-injecting addicted son who would possibly be dead from his lifestyle or maintaining himself on a clean, regulated drug. He ultimately chose the latter.
Even with this being the case, however, there are definitely drawbacks, at least initially. One of them, as the poster above mentioned, is the fact the the proper amount for a person must be adjusted carefully and titrated accordingly.
The major drawback, as I see it, from methadone maintenance is the fact that one must physically be at a clinic every day (with the exception, perhaps of Sundays and certain holidays) in order to receive the dose of methadone.
My son missed one of his days due to car trouble and could not find someone at the last minute to drive him to the clinic. He felt absolutely, terribly, physically sick for the rest of the day as a result of missing his "dose." This is the bad thing, in my opinion, is this absolute necessity of being at the clinic at a certain time each day.
Dear nottelling, and your point is???????
Do you want to get healthy? Do you prefer the life you have now?
What do you really have to lose if you try the methadone treatment???
You may be surprised at how it works for your benefit.
My duaghter started treatment a couple of months ago, and she has said that she is so grateful that the resources are there for her, even though she had originally doubted their worth,
Please stop rationalizing all the reasons to NOT try treatment. You are the only one who can truly decide to get better.
Keep posting on here, and let us know how you are doing.
Do you want to get healthy? Do you prefer the life you have now?
What do you really have to lose if you try the methadone treatment???
You may be surprised at how it works for your benefit.
My duaghter started treatment a couple of months ago, and she has said that she is so grateful that the resources are there for her, even though she had originally doubted their worth,
Please stop rationalizing all the reasons to NOT try treatment. You are the only one who can truly decide to get better.
Keep posting on here, and let us know how you are doing.
