My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months now and we live together. When we first started dating he told me that he used to be addicted to heroin. He said that it was before he met his ex (so 4 years before meeting me) and he told me this story of where he hit rock bottom and got a serious infection and almost died. He said he decided to quit cold turkey and spent the week at his parents house detoxing.
A few months into us dating he had come over to spend the night and an orange insulin syringe cap fell out of his pocket. I work in the veterinary field so I know what they are. I asked him about it and he said they were an old pair of shorts that he had brought home from when he moved from Tennessee (just a few months before we started dating). He had been keeping some clothes at my house so I was doing his laundry and putting away his clothes when I found 2 hypodermic needles in his drawer, one of them missing the cap. Yet again he told me that he found them in some old clothes and he hadn't thrown them away yet.
Fast forward to two days ago. My boyfriend and I smoke weed together occasionally and Monday morning he had said he was gonna smoke a bowl before he went to work. That afternoon I went to find the bowl in the bathroom and looked in his toiletries bag. There I found a swisher sweets wrapper with 2 hypodermic needles and a little empty baggie. I immediately texted him asking if he was using again. He asked what I was talking about and I told him he knew and he said that the stuff was old from when he was in Tennessee. Well like the detective that I am I started going through his stuff. I found a full syringe with 2 bottle caps and a piece of cotton ball in the pocket of a jacket that I had gotten for him (so it couldn't have come from Tennessee).
Yet again he told me that he found it in an old vest and put it in that pocket and hadn't had a chance to throw it away. He asked me if I thought that he was on drugs and then told me that he has been taking Suboxone and that theres no way he could be using. He said "its so I'm not on drugs ever again. it blocks opiates. If i get a craving I take a tiny piece and I don't think about it". He offered to take a drug test and told me to throw everything out. Is he lying to me? I haven't known him for that long so these kinds of lies I'm not familiar with.
I don't know what to do. I started reading things on the internet and went through the garbage in the bathroom. There are Qtips in there but they are all attached to the handle part still but I did find two bottle caps and no water bottles. One of the bottle caps has a blue residue in it but also has some white residue, and the outside looks like its been burned. Am I just over thinking all of this or is it safe to say that he's lying to me?
I mean give him a drug test and see what happens. Then surprise him with another one 2 days later.
So these caps were plastic I'm assuming? And they were burnt on the bottom? I've never known addicts to use a plastic cap to cook dope in. They usually use something metal.
It's got all the tell tale signs. Blue residue is odd. Sounds like Roxy's more than dope. White residue could be dope, but white dope is pretty rare these days. Most of the heroin in the states is either an afghan variety which is brownish/tan to a purplish color, or mexican tar which is black. Not to say he couldn't get china white but it's just not super common.
Possible it's cocaine. The new thing is to combine a strong opiate and cocaine together. They call it speed balling. Very deadly, but it's a such a rush that addicts seek it.
Best advice I can give is to give him the test and then surprise him shortly afterwards with another one. Now that he's expecting one he will most likely try to stop using enough to pass one. If he is using then he'll most likely use again right after that test because he'll think he is in the clear. I wouldn't do it the first day after, let me think you're content and okay. The second day at night is when I would test him again.
Good luck!
So these caps were plastic I'm assuming? And they were burnt on the bottom? I've never known addicts to use a plastic cap to cook dope in. They usually use something metal.
It's got all the tell tale signs. Blue residue is odd. Sounds like Roxy's more than dope. White residue could be dope, but white dope is pretty rare these days. Most of the heroin in the states is either an afghan variety which is brownish/tan to a purplish color, or mexican tar which is black. Not to say he couldn't get china white but it's just not super common.
Possible it's cocaine. The new thing is to combine a strong opiate and cocaine together. They call it speed balling. Very deadly, but it's a such a rush that addicts seek it.
Best advice I can give is to give him the test and then surprise him shortly afterwards with another one. Now that he's expecting one he will most likely try to stop using enough to pass one. If he is using then he'll most likely use again right after that test because he'll think he is in the clear. I wouldn't do it the first day after, let me think you're content and okay. The second day at night is when I would test him again.
Good luck!
Thank you! What could he be doing by dissolving the roxys? When i found the syringe in his jacket it had 2 plastic bottle caps with it too. I don't understand drugs or how people use them so even looking for the signs that he was using again was hard for me to do. I'm going to do the drug test. Should I get the ones from CVS or are there better ones that are more accurate? The thing that worries me is that i'm going out of town this weekend and i don't know what he will do. I guess I can't over worry about that since its his life and he'll do what he wants. I just feel like he is in denial about using, or he thinks that I will get mad. I just don't know that I could handle it if he overdosed. I just want to help but my being a women, i tend to overreact, and I don't want to send him running.
He also started taking my adderall, he claims its just to help get him going but yesterday he said "its a lot of fun to take a 5hr energy right after an adderall" I just don't know whats helping and whats hurting. I didn't find any things that make me think he is snorting anything, we have plenty of pipes that if he wanted to smoke it he could, so would he still be injecting drugs? Wouldn't you think after his near death experience with sepsis that he wouldn't do that anymore? And they weren't new syringes either, the numbers and lines had started fading off of them.
He also started taking my adderall, he claims its just to help get him going but yesterday he said "its a lot of fun to take a 5hr energy right after an adderall" I just don't know whats helping and whats hurting. I didn't find any things that make me think he is snorting anything, we have plenty of pipes that if he wanted to smoke it he could, so would he still be injecting drugs? Wouldn't you think after his near death experience with sepsis that he wouldn't do that anymore? And they weren't new syringes either, the numbers and lines had started fading off of them.
A lot of people dissolve them and then shoot them up. It's a way bigger rush then snorting or swallowing them.
So what they do is basically crush up the pill like they were going to snort it, but instead put it in a bottle cap so they can prepare it. They fill up the syringe with water to the cc amount they like. Every addict is different in how much water they add. Some like as little as possible while others like to fill the syringe all the way up. They shoot the water into the bottle cap and dissolve the powder making a "roxy solution." They'll use a filter, cotton swab or part of a cigarette filter for example, to place down in the solution and then they take the needle and stab the cotton and suck up the liquid into the syringe. Now they just need to find a vein and play nurse.
It's been awhile since I saw anyone shoot roxy's... but, if I remember correctly, you don't need to cook it. Being a pharmaceutical, it's clean and doesn't have adulterants or additives like you find in street heroin. So odd the plastic cap looked burnt on the outside. All my years dealing with addiction and I thought I'd heard/seen it all. Can't figure out why someone would cook in a plastic cap.
I can't say I agree with the adderall. The part where it's a lot of fun to take one after a energy drink is a little alarming. Even if his attentions are honest and he's not abusing them to get high, he's an addict and addictive substances are always a scary proposal.
As far as snorting VS smoking VS shooting... Once an addict start to shoot up they almost never go back to other methods. The delivery time and rush of shooting is second to none and they get hooked on that. Nothing else will ever compare.
Don't ever try to rationalize an addicts thought process and make sense of it. Things that seem blatantly obvious to sober people don't cross into an addicts mind. If it doesn't involve getting that rush they want, it doesn't matter. This is why addicts share needles with people despite knowing that Hep C and HIV are all to easy to get. A life threating disease doesn't even stop them if it means they get there fix.
Has he been tested for any STD's? This is a highly sensitive topic so I will just touch on it ever so briefly. If he has used needles, or worse still is, and assuming you two have been intimate... It's important to get tested. Ignorance and fear are the main factors in the spread of these diseases. Most of the time people don't realize they're passing it on.
With regards to wanting to help him and what to do. Honestly, not much you can do. Yeah, tell him you care for him and he needs help. But, don't think you can just walk in and change him because you want to save him. You might want it, but he doesn't. The only time he will change is when he is ready to. This usually comes when addicts hit rock bottom and lose everything. Only then do we learn our lesson and work on crawling our way out. Even then, no guarantee that we don't slip and fall again.
You can try talking reason, or love, or hate, or whatever to him. His addiction will block out any logical and reasonable thoughts. People have a hard time thinking addiction is a disease.. that it's because a person is weak and to much a baby to do it. Just put your mind to it they say. The thing is, addicts are quite literally brain washed. The addiction has such a strong control over them that it controls everything from their behavior, thoughts, and personality. How are you suppose to put your mind to it when you don't control it. This is why recovery is so hard. Even after we get clean we have the real battle of staying clean with our own brains trying to trick us into using.
The very first time I relapsed it was because I thought "It's been a while since I used. I'm done with detoxing and feel great. If I can do X amount and got clean from it, then I can do just a fraction of X without any issue. I can totally handle that tiny amount." It's never just a little bit though...
I was seriously doing good in my recovery and then one simple thought threw me back in. I wasn't even craving the drugs... but my mind told me I was okay because of how far I had come then. There are many thoughts that lead to relapse and they start out so innocent appearing that it can be REALLY hard identifying what's going on. It's hard at first telling which thoughts are genuine and which are manifested from the addiction.
So what they do is basically crush up the pill like they were going to snort it, but instead put it in a bottle cap so they can prepare it. They fill up the syringe with water to the cc amount they like. Every addict is different in how much water they add. Some like as little as possible while others like to fill the syringe all the way up. They shoot the water into the bottle cap and dissolve the powder making a "roxy solution." They'll use a filter, cotton swab or part of a cigarette filter for example, to place down in the solution and then they take the needle and stab the cotton and suck up the liquid into the syringe. Now they just need to find a vein and play nurse.
It's been awhile since I saw anyone shoot roxy's... but, if I remember correctly, you don't need to cook it. Being a pharmaceutical, it's clean and doesn't have adulterants or additives like you find in street heroin. So odd the plastic cap looked burnt on the outside. All my years dealing with addiction and I thought I'd heard/seen it all. Can't figure out why someone would cook in a plastic cap.
I can't say I agree with the adderall. The part where it's a lot of fun to take one after a energy drink is a little alarming. Even if his attentions are honest and he's not abusing them to get high, he's an addict and addictive substances are always a scary proposal.
As far as snorting VS smoking VS shooting... Once an addict start to shoot up they almost never go back to other methods. The delivery time and rush of shooting is second to none and they get hooked on that. Nothing else will ever compare.
Don't ever try to rationalize an addicts thought process and make sense of it. Things that seem blatantly obvious to sober people don't cross into an addicts mind. If it doesn't involve getting that rush they want, it doesn't matter. This is why addicts share needles with people despite knowing that Hep C and HIV are all to easy to get. A life threating disease doesn't even stop them if it means they get there fix.
Has he been tested for any STD's? This is a highly sensitive topic so I will just touch on it ever so briefly. If he has used needles, or worse still is, and assuming you two have been intimate... It's important to get tested. Ignorance and fear are the main factors in the spread of these diseases. Most of the time people don't realize they're passing it on.
With regards to wanting to help him and what to do. Honestly, not much you can do. Yeah, tell him you care for him and he needs help. But, don't think you can just walk in and change him because you want to save him. You might want it, but he doesn't. The only time he will change is when he is ready to. This usually comes when addicts hit rock bottom and lose everything. Only then do we learn our lesson and work on crawling our way out. Even then, no guarantee that we don't slip and fall again.
You can try talking reason, or love, or hate, or whatever to him. His addiction will block out any logical and reasonable thoughts. People have a hard time thinking addiction is a disease.. that it's because a person is weak and to much a baby to do it. Just put your mind to it they say. The thing is, addicts are quite literally brain washed. The addiction has such a strong control over them that it controls everything from their behavior, thoughts, and personality. How are you suppose to put your mind to it when you don't control it. This is why recovery is so hard. Even after we get clean we have the real battle of staying clean with our own brains trying to trick us into using.
The very first time I relapsed it was because I thought "It's been a while since I used. I'm done with detoxing and feel great. If I can do X amount and got clean from it, then I can do just a fraction of X without any issue. I can totally handle that tiny amount." It's never just a little bit though...
I was seriously doing good in my recovery and then one simple thought threw me back in. I wasn't even craving the drugs... but my mind told me I was okay because of how far I had come then. There are many thoughts that lead to relapse and they start out so innocent appearing that it can be REALLY hard identifying what's going on. It's hard at first telling which thoughts are genuine and which are manifested from the addiction.
So good news and bad news... I talked to his best friend who just became an addiction counselor after basically hitting rock bottom and voiced my concern.
Last night my boyfriend kept asking me what was wrong, I simply told him that he had told me he didn't want to talk about it. This morning when he got up to get ready for work he went out to his car before getting in the shower, he came back in our room and I asked him what he went out for. He said to get his wallet to see if he had any money. Well he left for work and I went to use the bathroom and he had urinated and thrown a baggie in there but forgot to flush it. I took a picture for evidence and immediately ran to Walgreens to get a drug test.
Thankfully he isn't using heroin, but he is taking oxycodone or probably those roxys that we talked about. Obviously he tested positive for THC and Amphetamines which is the weed and adderall consumption that I already knew about. He tested negative for cocaine so is it likely that the white powder in the cap is adderall that he used to make a speedball with the roxys?
Also everyone says to look for track marks, I can't find any on his arms and he's a smart guy so I would think if he's shooting up he wouldn't do it in his arms where I would obviously see it. He still wears long sleeves all the time but he said its just become a habit since he was using heroin (and in his defense he has worn long sleeves the entire time I've known him) thats not to say that he won't wear short sleeves because he does.
Do Roxys act in the same way as heroin in that it would make him drowsy and low sex drive and all of that?
When we first started dating I had gone to the doctor to get a physical and he had asked me if I wanted to get tested, I had only been with my boyfriend but I decided to anyway, and everything was negative. I guess I should get tested again? That was like 6 months ago.
I've got pictures of the bottle caps and syringes and such if you would like to see.
I think he may have an emotional trigger, a few months ago a close friend of his died and it seemed to hit him really hard and he got almost depressed. Now granted I don't know how long he's been using he could have been doing the stuff all along.
This may be a bit of a counseling question but if we share a phone plan would it be bad of me to block his drug dealers number? I can do it from the computer, I am just at a loss right now. I want to go down to his work and search his car. I'm having a bunch of crazy girlfriend moments and I'm not sure what to do :/
Last night my boyfriend kept asking me what was wrong, I simply told him that he had told me he didn't want to talk about it. This morning when he got up to get ready for work he went out to his car before getting in the shower, he came back in our room and I asked him what he went out for. He said to get his wallet to see if he had any money. Well he left for work and I went to use the bathroom and he had urinated and thrown a baggie in there but forgot to flush it. I took a picture for evidence and immediately ran to Walgreens to get a drug test.
Thankfully he isn't using heroin, but he is taking oxycodone or probably those roxys that we talked about. Obviously he tested positive for THC and Amphetamines which is the weed and adderall consumption that I already knew about. He tested negative for cocaine so is it likely that the white powder in the cap is adderall that he used to make a speedball with the roxys?
Also everyone says to look for track marks, I can't find any on his arms and he's a smart guy so I would think if he's shooting up he wouldn't do it in his arms where I would obviously see it. He still wears long sleeves all the time but he said its just become a habit since he was using heroin (and in his defense he has worn long sleeves the entire time I've known him) thats not to say that he won't wear short sleeves because he does.
Do Roxys act in the same way as heroin in that it would make him drowsy and low sex drive and all of that?
When we first started dating I had gone to the doctor to get a physical and he had asked me if I wanted to get tested, I had only been with my boyfriend but I decided to anyway, and everything was negative. I guess I should get tested again? That was like 6 months ago.
I've got pictures of the bottle caps and syringes and such if you would like to see.
I think he may have an emotional trigger, a few months ago a close friend of his died and it seemed to hit him really hard and he got almost depressed. Now granted I don't know how long he's been using he could have been doing the stuff all along.
This may be a bit of a counseling question but if we share a phone plan would it be bad of me to block his drug dealers number? I can do it from the computer, I am just at a loss right now. I want to go down to his work and search his car. I'm having a bunch of crazy girlfriend moments and I'm not sure what to do :/
I would seriously be looking for another boyfriend ....
What is the attraction for you with this guy?
Where do you see your relationship going?
Ask yourself some hard questions. Get help for yourself.
All the best.
Bob R
What is the attraction for you with this guy?
Where do you see your relationship going?
Ask yourself some hard questions. Get help for yourself.
All the best.
Bob R
He's not a bad guy. I know all of this is not making him out to be the best person but he is. He is an amazing guy with so much potential, he doesn't have a very good coping mechanisms and all he knows how to do is use drugs to escape. I know this sounds like I'm enabling him, but believe me if I could slap some sense into him I would. He's never stolen money from me or stolen things from the house. He is always clean and takes care of him self. He's like a functioning alcoholic. He doesn't want to be perceived as weak in my eyes which I think is why he won't admit to me what he's doing. I am absolutely in love with this guy and I want to marry him (granted with all of this new information its got me questioning a lot of it) - mostly because I don't know if I'm strong enough to be what he needs to help him. I worry that because I'm so naive about drugs that I'm just hurting him not helping.
Or maybe I'm just being blinded by it all.... I think I need a therapist....
Or maybe I'm just being blinded by it all.... I think I need a therapist....
