Hi all, im new to this just thought id introduce myself first. Im 30yrs im training to become a pharmacist, have 3 beautiful children and im in a relationship with my longterm partner. He has been using crack for over 10yrs now. We got together when he was clean, he moved in with me then started seeing all his old mates again n started using (He has been violent in the past n we split)i always feel sprry for him and go back. I have helped him get clean so many times but he has always gone back to it. He is now using everyday between 40-100pound aday. He works to fund his habit. Im now at breaking point and dont know where to turn or what to do. I feel as though he is only living with me for a roof over his head, our relationship is non exsistant (for past 4mths) he promises me the world to get what he wants (money) but then is never there for me. He spends no time with me or kids but makes an effort with everyone else :-( am i fighting a loosing battle?? Do i walk away from my one true love just so i can b happy?? His dragging me down with him :-( i dont use never tried a drug and never will. Is there hope for him ( i believe there is) but am i fooling myself.
Leave him! He is making a CHOICE to use crack. He doesn't care about you, the kids or anything else but CRACK. He will continue to use as long as you allow him to stay in your home. He will NEVER be there for you while he is using. CRACK is the love of his life... NOT you. Sorry that is harsh to hear... but true right now.
You need to make the choice to end the relationship. Do you honestly think the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE is this non-caring crackhead? I am sure that there are plenty of other worthy men out there for you that don't have this kind of problem. Plenty of good men who will be THERE for you and your kids. Plenty of men who will choose YOU and not be a burden to you.]
Get out while you still can.
You need to make the choice to end the relationship. Do you honestly think the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE is this non-caring crackhead? I am sure that there are plenty of other worthy men out there for you that don't have this kind of problem. Plenty of good men who will be THERE for you and your kids. Plenty of men who will choose YOU and not be a burden to you.]
Get out while you still can.
Im not offened in what u said, i think like that alot. I think im waiting for something that will never happen. I stay with him because i love him but also because i know when he isnt here he gets worse he will loose his job, spend all his money on crack on one day n never see my kids. They are too young to understand at the moment n just get upset when his not here :-(
I get to the stage when im ready to walk away, n he starts treating me better n helping his self, so i stay n then it all happens again.
Have you been through this (crack) or know anyone that has and has changed?? Its so hard when i love the guy but hate him so much. Im in two minds it drives me mad......
I get to the stage when im ready to walk away, n he starts treating me better n helping his self, so i stay n then it all happens again.
Have you been through this (crack) or know anyone that has and has changed?? Its so hard when i love the guy but hate him so much. Im in two minds it drives me mad......
Its ironic when someone got through in the same situation and never learn anything. I hope he will truly commit when he stopped. And sometimes its really hard to help someone who refuse take it. You love him and cant leave him, so all you have now is prolong your patience. But analyse the circumstances, its not right to give a person chances but always broke his promises. you're giving enough, maybe its time to save yourself first. And be strong for your kids
In my experience with my husband... it really doesn't matter what drug they are using. They won't quit until they CHOOSE to quit.
They will say and do things to make you believe they love you and want to try to get or stay clean, but the bottom line here is.... THEY ARE CHOOSING THEIR DRUG OF CHOICE OVER YOU, THEIR FAMILY, THEIR FRIENDS AND EVEN THEMSELVES.
It is a love affair with the drug. Its almost the same problem we as (co-dependents) face. They love something so much that is BAD for them, but they can't seem to get away from it, regardless of who it hurts along the way.
You love him even though he is BAD for you because he can't commit to being GOOD to himself.
Please don't waste any more of your precious life pining away in the hopes that he will get better, or worrying that if you get yourself out of the picture, he will get worse. Whether he spends all his money on drugs or not is NOT your problem. Its his. Eventually, he will lose his job. Addicts can't seem to juggle using and jobs for too long. Then he will be totally dependent on you for money for his drugs. He will steal from you and lie to you and you will be in too deep at that point because you want to HELP someone who doesn't WANT help. He likes being high. He isn't going to let anyone get in the way of that. Its sad. REALLY SAD. It hurts, believe me I know.
Get out while you still can and he has a job. I acted far to late and I am in misery like no other.
So sorry you are going through this. Find comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Many of us out here. Take care of YOU and your kids. You need to put them first as hard as it may be. You won't be lonely for long...
Take care!
They will say and do things to make you believe they love you and want to try to get or stay clean, but the bottom line here is.... THEY ARE CHOOSING THEIR DRUG OF CHOICE OVER YOU, THEIR FAMILY, THEIR FRIENDS AND EVEN THEMSELVES.
It is a love affair with the drug. Its almost the same problem we as (co-dependents) face. They love something so much that is BAD for them, but they can't seem to get away from it, regardless of who it hurts along the way.
You love him even though he is BAD for you because he can't commit to being GOOD to himself.
Please don't waste any more of your precious life pining away in the hopes that he will get better, or worrying that if you get yourself out of the picture, he will get worse. Whether he spends all his money on drugs or not is NOT your problem. Its his. Eventually, he will lose his job. Addicts can't seem to juggle using and jobs for too long. Then he will be totally dependent on you for money for his drugs. He will steal from you and lie to you and you will be in too deep at that point because you want to HELP someone who doesn't WANT help. He likes being high. He isn't going to let anyone get in the way of that. Its sad. REALLY SAD. It hurts, believe me I know.
Get out while you still can and he has a job. I acted far to late and I am in misery like no other.
So sorry you are going through this. Find comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Many of us out here. Take care of YOU and your kids. You need to put them first as hard as it may be. You won't be lonely for long...
Take care!
