To anyone with information,
This is a question about my mom. I am now 37 and have watched my mother use many different things for what I can now summize is an addiction. Starting at age 8 I watched my mother and her friends do bong hits at the dining room table. As time moved on my mother injured her back. She has been through some major surgeries, had a metal plate put in and then removed from her back, had surgery to repair a fluid leak in her spianal column. I'd have to say she has had a pretty rough time. My problem is that for many years now she has been taking prescription meds to deal with her chronic pain. I know for sure she has a very large bottle of oxycontin. I know there are also others. When I call her she slurs her words or basically has a hard time speaking at all! Is this a normal effect of her medication or is she abusing it? She lives out of state and when we visit , her pills are put away , out of sight. What I see when I visit is very upsetting. After she has taken her meds, she usually falls asleep. If she wakes up, she is usually very unstable on her feet, and again slurring!!! I am definately at the point where after all these years I have no more tolerence for her behavior. She went to rehab once, at a mental facility, and checked herself out within 24 hours. I really want to confront her on this issue, but I don't know enough about the addiction. Whenever I talk to her, she says " I'm not taking that much medicine" How can this be? I really do want to help her but I'm afraid I'm crossing the line. Please reply with any info you can. Thank you !
Some effects are normal to an extent. It does sound like she is taking too much, whether it is what the doc prescribed, or what she is taking on her own, dosage-wise. A lot of painkiller addictions and abuse start after taking medication for legitimate reasons. It is hard with you living out of state to notice some of the nuances, but as has been stated on this board many times, by many people, this is one of the reasons this addiction is so hard to see, it is that easy to hide.
Chronic pain is a difficult issue. A lot of us who are addicted do have legitimate pain issues. I would suggest speaking with your mother. It would be better to cross that line and find out you are wrong than to let it go, for both your sakes. Start off by letting her now that you know she has real pain, and that you aren't accusing her of taking medication just to take it. Try to choose your words carefully, so she won't automatically be defensive and close up. Let her now how much you love her and care about her. Depression often goes hand-in-hand with both chronic pain and addiction. Sometimes it is hard for us to talk to those we love about our addiction for fear of being judged or other reasons. Maybe you could suggest in your talk that she visit this site and read some of the posts here. I haven't found a single judgmental person yet, just lots of support. I read several posts before posting myself. This way your mom, if she does have a problem, can be somewhat "anonymous", yet obtain some information in order to take the first step into acknowledging her condition, and finding those in the same situation.
I am a pain pill addict. I started taking pain pills for a back injury, and yes, your mother has been through a lot. I had several other legitimate pain issues (long story) and have chronic pain. Also, once you have been on pain medications for a while, you start to build up a resistance, and need more medication to take care of the pain, or the fix, depending on what you are taking it for. However, medications break down differently in your body. While it takes more medication to take care of the pain, your body does not build up a tolerance to the toxins from the medication breaking down.
These are just my suggestions. I hope they have helped!
Chronic pain is a difficult issue. A lot of us who are addicted do have legitimate pain issues. I would suggest speaking with your mother. It would be better to cross that line and find out you are wrong than to let it go, for both your sakes. Start off by letting her now that you know she has real pain, and that you aren't accusing her of taking medication just to take it. Try to choose your words carefully, so she won't automatically be defensive and close up. Let her now how much you love her and care about her. Depression often goes hand-in-hand with both chronic pain and addiction. Sometimes it is hard for us to talk to those we love about our addiction for fear of being judged or other reasons. Maybe you could suggest in your talk that she visit this site and read some of the posts here. I haven't found a single judgmental person yet, just lots of support. I read several posts before posting myself. This way your mom, if she does have a problem, can be somewhat "anonymous", yet obtain some information in order to take the first step into acknowledging her condition, and finding those in the same situation.
I am a pain pill addict. I started taking pain pills for a back injury, and yes, your mother has been through a lot. I had several other legitimate pain issues (long story) and have chronic pain. Also, once you have been on pain medications for a while, you start to build up a resistance, and need more medication to take care of the pain, or the fix, depending on what you are taking it for. However, medications break down differently in your body. While it takes more medication to take care of the pain, your body does not build up a tolerance to the toxins from the medication breaking down.
These are just my suggestions. I hope they have helped!
Cross this bridge carefully. The last thing u need is her not speaking to u at all, then u would b even more worried. Does sound like meds r really taking her down. Have u thougt of calling her doctor and seeing what he thinks. It may be legit. But I can imagine how worried u r. I hope with talking to her and maye calling her doctor and explaining why u r calling together u could find the answer.
thats the sad thing some people really have pain issures ... and yes shes in pain emotionl and body and the thing I always have believred in ..shw has to want to stop on her own ... and that it that ... but you can be there ..and listen until the day comes when she is sick and tired of being sick and tired ..but till than angel just love her and listen ... and one day she will come around...your love is always going to be there ...and she noes that ..if it gets really hard juststay in the background for a while.... love poopie one day she will want it bad enough....we pray dear
Ditto as to twoofme's post.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Hi there, and welcome. I can tell you're really worried about your mom. That is where the problem is, when someone has legitimate pain issues, as it sounds like she does. Maybe you can speak to her Dr? I was/am addicted to oxy's and when I'd take too many, I would nod off, even standing up! My speech was slurred etc. Can you ask her what she is supposed to take, how many, and how many times a day? Then maybe I can help..good luck, Kim
Just so you guys know, the suggestion that she speak with her mother's physician is a good idea. However, because of the HIPAA laws, her mother's physician will not be able to answer any of these questions for her, unless her mother signs a waiver stating that her medical information can be released to her daughter.
These patient confidentiality laws have become increasingly strict, with major fines in place for physicians, their offices, and hospitals. Legally, her mother's physician cannot even acknowledge that she is a patient there.
If she knows the physician, or if he has been her physician for a long time, and the physician already knows the daughters, she may be able to tell the physician her concerns, but he/she will not be able to respond without that signed waiver.
Flowergirl, your mom is very lucky to have someone who loves her and cares about her as much as you do.
Also, sorry guys, I'm not trying to sound preachy at all, so if I've offended anyone I apologize. It's always easier to help diagnose or deal with someone else's issues than to deal with your own, isn't it? (meaning me)
Amanda :)
These patient confidentiality laws have become increasingly strict, with major fines in place for physicians, their offices, and hospitals. Legally, her mother's physician cannot even acknowledge that she is a patient there.
If she knows the physician, or if he has been her physician for a long time, and the physician already knows the daughters, she may be able to tell the physician her concerns, but he/she will not be able to respond without that signed waiver.
Flowergirl, your mom is very lucky to have someone who loves her and cares about her as much as you do.
Also, sorry guys, I'm not trying to sound preachy at all, so if I've offended anyone I apologize. It's always easier to help diagnose or deal with someone else's issues than to deal with your own, isn't it? (meaning me)
Amanda :)
Amanda, you're absolutely right, I forgot about the HIPPA laws. Maybe she can ask her mom to sign a waiver, just in case...I would say something like, Mom, can you sign a waiver that says I can get info from your Dr? Because what if she needs that info down the road? Good point though, thanks for bringing that up! Kim
Dear Flower,Wow this is a very hard situation.Because if she is an addict she will probaly deny it.We all do.It takes some of us YEARS to admit we have a problem.Drugs can have a strong hold.And if she does have pain issues she will use those issue till the end for a debate Im sure.I think you should keep trying & keep talking.She may get to the point of reaching out for help.As I said its a hard one cause you love her so much & would probaly do anything for her,but with addicts WE have to deside enough is enough.If we try to quit for any reason except ourselves than it just doesnt always work.Im sorry I dont have better advise to give you.but please you are welcome here to talk as much as you need ok...mj
I agree MJ. How ya feelin' today, girl?
I also wanted to make sure that people understand my first post was totally coming from an addict's point of view. It may not be the best view about approach from the other side (the psychiatric or CDU side). I just know that if I get defensive about anything, I close up.
Lots and lots of good advice on this board flowergirl! Keep checking here.
Amanda :)
I also wanted to make sure that people understand my first post was totally coming from an addict's point of view. It may not be the best view about approach from the other side (the psychiatric or CDU side). I just know that if I get defensive about anything, I close up.
Lots and lots of good advice on this board flowergirl! Keep checking here.
Amanda :)
Hello Amanda(great name)I am feeling better not great but better.Alittle at a time it goes.Thank you for asking.
I agree to try & make a addict admit something they are not ready to face can be so heartbreaking.I know for years my family,my daughters,my mom everyone tried to get me to get help.And I hated myself because I knew deep down they were right but I just wasnt ready.honest I really thought I would be a lifer.Someone who binges & than evens out.I thought I had it down to a science.,but and keep in mind I still DONT KNOW what it was but one day I woke up & said enough.It wasnt a day I didnt have pills cause I remember just picking them up.But I just got to my point.I hope that flowers mom can do that.Im afraid all flower can do is to keep loving & trying....mj
I agree to try & make a addict admit something they are not ready to face can be so heartbreaking.I know for years my family,my daughters,my mom everyone tried to get me to get help.And I hated myself because I knew deep down they were right but I just wasnt ready.honest I really thought I would be a lifer.Someone who binges & than evens out.I thought I had it down to a science.,but and keep in mind I still DONT KNOW what it was but one day I woke up & said enough.It wasnt a day I didnt have pills cause I remember just picking them up.But I just got to my point.I hope that flowers mom can do that.Im afraid all flower can do is to keep loving & trying....mj
Thanks MJ, I was almost an Abigail, but ended up Amanda Gail.
As I'm sure you all have guessed, especially you veterans, I have relapsed. See next post.
As I'm sure you all have guessed, especially you veterans, I have relapsed. See next post.
Ok how come next post color me confused????
Posted a new thread since it didn't really relate to flowergirl's thread. Wanted that thread to focus on advice for her mom, and not get lost on me. Although my story may be helpful to her since it is a pain issue. :)
If someone is slurring their words, unsteady on their feet, falls into a deep sleep after taking pain meds then they are on the wrong dosage of medication or abusing their meds. You definately have something to be concerned about. Find out all medications that she is taking...........and talk to her pharmacist or her MD ASAP. She may also be having adverse drug interactions from some of the medications being mixed together. This could be fatal if not taken care of immediately. I would also be concerned about safety issues especially if she smokes or lives alone, ie......broken hips or other bones getting fractured or lacerations or head injuries from being unstable on her feet and falling.
You are right to be concerned. Alot of red flags went up when I read your post.
You are right to be concerned. Alot of red flags went up when I read your post.
Good Afternoon Sharon,you got me wondering something.Now all that you say is true there are ALOT of reasons for her to worry,but this is what Im wondering,is there ANY legal way for her to get her mom help?I mean if her mom is "legally"sane doesnt that mean that it has to be the mom that does it?Im just confused on this issue...mj
Molly,
The HIPPA regulations are for a purpose, but physicians will talk to an immediate family member such as a daughter......if he knows that she is in fact her daughter. I have found this to be true. She can express her concern for her mothers condition without asking questions from him about her meds or her medical condition. Telling him what she told us will make him investigate
I would first find out what medications that her mom is taking and call a pharmacist first and ask about drug interactions.
And I hope no one posts me about the HIPPA rules.........I am well versed on HIPPA regulations........studied them, tested on them, taught them.
Have a good day Molly,
The HIPPA regulations are for a purpose, but physicians will talk to an immediate family member such as a daughter......if he knows that she is in fact her daughter. I have found this to be true. She can express her concern for her mothers condition without asking questions from him about her meds or her medical condition. Telling him what she told us will make him investigate
I would first find out what medications that her mom is taking and call a pharmacist first and ask about drug interactions.
And I hope no one posts me about the HIPPA rules.........I am well versed on HIPPA regulations........studied them, tested on them, taught them.
Have a good day Molly,
kysharon,
I certainly didn't mean to state that I know everything about HIPAA, not HIPPA, (HEALTH INSURANCE PORTABILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY ACT). I am not contradicting you either. I was merely stating that (and I work in the medical field, deal with HIPAA laws on an everyday basis), because of the new laws the doc would not be able to answer any questions. Not sure where you live, but in our hospitals here, they will not give any information out, even whether or not the person is a patient.
I did say in the post that she could bring these concerns to her mother's physician, but that LEGALLy he cannot discuss the condition with her, unless her mother has signed the waiver.
This is not meant to discourage her from speaking with her mother.
I hope this is not taken the wrong way. I also said in the earlier post that docs who have been their family docs for a long time may be more lenient with this.
I just did not want flowergirl to automatically think that if she called her mom's doc and he/she would not give any information, to automatically assume that either something was definitely wrong or that there was no concern.
Amanda :)
I certainly didn't mean to state that I know everything about HIPAA, not HIPPA, (HEALTH INSURANCE PORTABILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY ACT). I am not contradicting you either. I was merely stating that (and I work in the medical field, deal with HIPAA laws on an everyday basis), because of the new laws the doc would not be able to answer any questions. Not sure where you live, but in our hospitals here, they will not give any information out, even whether or not the person is a patient.
I did say in the post that she could bring these concerns to her mother's physician, but that LEGALLy he cannot discuss the condition with her, unless her mother has signed the waiver.
This is not meant to discourage her from speaking with her mother.
I hope this is not taken the wrong way. I also said in the earlier post that docs who have been their family docs for a long time may be more lenient with this.
I just did not want flowergirl to automatically think that if she called her mom's doc and he/she would not give any information, to automatically assume that either something was definitely wrong or that there was no concern.
Amanda :)
if I may chime in here... because of the nature of the discussion and the vested interest the doctor might have in covering his own said arse in this... I wouldnt be surprised if he/she would be a bit more communicative in this area given the circumstances.... and if you really read the law the true breast of the HIPPA it was meant for the dissemination of the health care record and information through communication lines to intenties whether it be sold or requested ... this was not to tie the hands of primary care physicians in the delivery of care.... Just as a physician does not need a waiver to speak with an other physician there would be a point of reference for him to speak to some degree with a next of kin regarding a matter of importance such as this....
just my input as a previous heath care provider....
Teresa
Sharon you are right on...
just my input as a previous heath care provider....
Teresa
Sharon you are right on...
Why so defensive? My post was not to you or about you. IN fact I did not even read your post. Get over yourself, already. So I made a typo.........do they shoot people for that where you live?
