Is This Board A Trigger?

My daughter is a recovering heroin addict, age 25. Thankfully, she has been clean for 9 months. I have often thought about suggesting that she visit this board, perhaps to find others in recovery to chat with, and gain some knowledge about how others stay clean. However, I now believe this board can be a major trigger to an addict. The topics I read are unbelieveable. Drug use is glorified. The tone of the board has become one of USE rather than recovery. For anyone who is struggling to stay clean, I would never suggest they look for any help or guidance here. Nancy
My daughter is a recovering heroin addict, age 27, and has been clean for nearly 14 month, and I have mentioned this board to her. I don't see it as glorifying drugs (at least in the "heroin" category.) I see so many tormented souls who want out of an addiction they can't seem to escape. They are scared of being in reality without their crutch - they are scared of the withdrawals - they are scared of the entire healing process, and they know what the statistics say. They are smart people, educated people, sensitive and caring people - they are husbands, wives, our children, brothers, sisters - they are tortured souls who know the odds are against them of making a total recovery. Yet, they yearn for it and that is what I see when I read the recovery board. I see them as reaching out and hoping and if they can hang onto hope thru this board and if it helps even one person to kick it or to hang on for just one more moment, then this board has done its job.
I'm sorry you feel that way Nancy. What I personally see a lot of what is going on in this board is people such as myself who aren't drug addicts trying to cope with being with an addict and reaching out to others who are in the same situation, because we have no one else to turn to or talk to who understands. I don't remember ever reading a post where anyone has mentioned anything good about drug addiction, just the pains and stuggles that comes along with it and what us, the ones who are with the addict are going through...
I have gotten alot of helpful education from this board over the past 7 months. Things I had no clue about whatsoever, and if it sounds glorified to others, perhaps the wrong posts were viewed. Sometimes you see one or two posts which may convey the wrong idea, but you have to understand these are people in pain. As much pain as we are in, as we are suffering with our children, spouses and significant others.

Cindy
Just to clarify my previous post- The family board is a great source of information and friendship. The board that I referred to as a possible trigger was the Heroin board. I just have my doubts that the topics on that board are helpful to someone looking to recover. Nancy
Nancy,
I was just posting someone about the same nature of your very new thread yesterday about the Heroin message recovery board of late.....it almost has become a sorta dating service for some and i have been posting on this board for several months but these last bunch of new threads seemed to glorify drug use as well on some level and the few brave souls that have replied to some of these posts were promptly told where to get off and that they were the ones having a problem etc,.........i guess when you have had close friends die from heroin overdoses or even...as in my case....had a young brother that took his own life at age 29 as he couldn't deal with his addiction anymore you wonder how some addicts actually elevate the nature of drug use and use it as a reason to hook up with someone else as they both have the love for it in common.

I dunno maybe i misread or misterpreted some of the latest posts on the Heroin board of late....having never been an actual heroin addict i might not be hip to what is really being said....but all i know is that heroin kills and it killed people i have loved.....and i have no respect for a drug that has no respect for me and mine...

Thanx for your courage to speak up Nancy
MARY
Dear Nancy, I am not a H. user my late bf was. I agree, yes maybe some posts can trigger the urge to use but I beleive that they will get triggers throughout their life if they want to deal with it without the H/drugs. Maybe it's another challenge for them to learn from, though I agree that there have been posts that are not recovery oriented...... deffinitely not... Therefor maybe shouldn't be on a RECOVERY website. I can not speak for an addict, therefor I hope if they find these specific posts they'' bring it to the moderators attention.I do know that while my bf was alive I learnt a lot about the addiction, and even shared some posts with him so maybe he could fell less alone, open up or even post..... There are people on the Heroin site who've had good stretches of sobriety, months, years etc... Please do not discount the good posts, due to somebody's post who's seriously in denial, as they help others wishing to acheive the same. I wish you and your daughter the best
Nancy,
Have you been to any AA or NA meetings with your daughter? Guess what they talk about there? Drugs and alcohol!!! Talking about it doesn't mean use. You know that talking about things helps. You can't just ignore the ELEPHANT in the livingroom it's there and always will be there. The more you talk about it the better chance you have of meeting up with someone that you have more to relate to recovery wise.
I haven't been to the heroin board, mostlyy the pill board. Stick with us over here and we will all help you and your daughter out.
Good Luck!!!
D
Dear Nancy,

I was concerned about the same situation I saw occurring and was wondering why the moderators were allowing it to continue, but the negative posts are FAR OUTNUMBERED by the positive ones! Hope you stick around!

Susan
nancy, there are moderators that watch the board pretty closely. the few instances over there on the other board are really isolated posts. they do happen from time to time. but pull up and look back at the posts over the last couple of years --- the problem ones are few and far between.

the early AAers found out that alcoholics helping alcoholics was one of the keys to recovery. right know, my son, an alcoholic and addict, is living in a halfway house with about 12 others. yes there is risk, but it is, i think, far outweighed by the positives of addicts helping and supporting addicts. just my thoughts.
It takes all of us to search all possible avenues of recovery . People having no knowledge of addiction , and their attitude towards addicts is a HUGE trigger in some instances. Many addicts get so frustrated with being judged wrongly find it better to just continue using .

I dont know much about heroin , I am a recovering methamphetamine user.The interaction of everyone I have met here tremendously helpfull. Besides, If being in here is a trigger... how will an addict stay in recovery anywhere else?? I hate to even leave the house for fear I will be asked if I want some speed. Damned if the first time I leave for a couple days it didnt almost happen ,

For me , there is no safer place to discuss drug use , recovery, and dependency issues.
just my opinion AL
Thank you all for your comments. I have been reading here for almost a year, and will continue to do so. I will spend less time on the heroin board and more time in the family forum. It just breaks my heart to see anyone glorify heroin. The drug is not worthy of a song or a poem in its honor. Good luck to us all, and may God be with us. Nancy
NANCY:
I am clean now for almost 10yrs and I go to the heroin side and let me tell you that addict's need to talk about what they are feeling,that they feel like useing and that they are misunderstood by their mom or dad and everyone else cause if they would not be able to talk about what they are thinking or feeling then my friend that is a trigger.Life is a trigger are you going to keep your daughter locked up in the house,cut the phone off,never answer the door and never go outside,I don't think so,you know that going clean and being "normal" is like a baby,she will have to learn to walk all over again,figure of speaking, she know's right from wrong and she,only she know's if she realy want's it bad enough.Drug's are everywhere you won't be able to protect her all the time that's life there will be test's all the time but having all these test's and being all tied up inside cause you feel you have nowhere and no one to talk to then that is a 100% relaps,let her talk about it,that she liked it,that she hates it ,et her say what she is feeling and let everything she has been locking away for all this time get out of her system cause that is what she need's to let it all out and to talk to people that understand what she is going through,cause you can tell her,I understand what you are going through dear,but the truth is you will never know what she is realy going through,you will never know.If screaming at the top of her lung's and running around shouting help's then let her,what ever it takes to get better.

You know what I have learned and follow all the time NEVER JUGE A BOOK BY IT"S COVER.We read a post where a person weather male or female and we see something that look's like this person is looking for a date or something and we jump to conclusions but I have learned never to jump to conclusions I know that this means that they wish the person was nearer to them so they could talk more often and get to say more cause it's so damn hard to find straight people that have never used as friend's to understand them so it would be nice to have a friend nearer to talk about the hurt or pain,there is nothing wrong there people make it look wrong that is why addict's keep to themselves and become deppresed and some make it other's can't cope with everything bottled up inside so they kill themselves and other's just fix their problems by using cause there are alot of people like yourself that misinterpete every little thing.

I wish you and your precious daughter well,keep an open mind,don't just be there in body,BE THERE IN WHOLE,WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE,I don't know if you understand me,but anyway's Good-Luck with everything.

Lot's of luck
I can understand where you are coming from Nancy......maybe the best time for your daughter to look at this board would be when she has been clean for a lot longer and the quality of her clean time is good - but then again she may wish to just get on with her life and not want to get involved - my husband has been clean from heroin for 5 years (1 relapse for 3months) for him he has had to stay away from all people doing drugs and at present he wouldn't want to read some of the stories, anyway i remember reading some of "Paul's" posts and i think fair play to him, his recovery is good and he genuinely wants to be of help and he has succeeded in his recovery, the general advice of the board is a person has to want to give up drugs and i thought yep ok makes sense but it's not just that because most people do want to stop drugs?!!! it's wanting to stop and doing something about it! You can want to stop for years but you will only succeed if you take action - simple thing but means a lot..................I'm happy for your daughter and there are some excellant posts on this board to help you how to cope and react as i'm sure you've read. My husband was told by his counselers (can't spell) that he would never be well again how negative - well he is well and he's ok - because he wanted to and did something about it - and as the board says! - nothing changes if nothing changes!!!!!! Take care Nancy
all the best Molly................
Nancy,
I am a recovering heroin addict and i would advise you to let your daughter come here, this board has been a vital tool in my recovery (i've been off heroin since oct 01) yeah some posts are s***ty but the posatives far outway the negative and as mentioned in one of the above posts, there are triggers everywhere in life, your daughter needs to learn how to work through them, and people on here could offer her some great advice that only someone who has been where she has been could offer...
Just my humble opinion
Goodluck
Love
Gabbi
I understand all of the points made here. My daughter attends at least 3 meetings a week. She participates in some meetings by speaking to people in rehab about her past. She has a sponsor and is working the steps. She has new friends that are clean, and have been clean for a while. She has a counselor that she sees at least once a month for one on one therapy. I have been here for her every step of the way, and will continue to be here for her until the day I die. She has a wonderful support group, and has access to counselors 24 hours a day. I think she is doing fine, even with out coming to this message board. She works a full time job, and also babysits several times a week. She is slowly geting herself out of debt. Her birthday present to me last month was her 9 month chip from AA. She has not been locked in her room for these past 9 months. I agree that anyone with a drug problem should do whatever it takes to get clean. If the heroin message board helps someone, then they should make good use of it. I still think that many of the topics and discussions are inappropriate for someone looking to get away from drugs. Nancy