My mom is now in a different hospital where thay are better equipped to give her heart cath, and all this stuff. She's very sick.
Well, no wonder with all the struggle went on here with my daughter. Kid did not like rules.
The ONE thing, and only ONE thing we had asked her not to do she did. Actually a few years ago I figured it would be no bid eal if she did it, and she was older now and can make decisions and she'd be cool. NOT MY MOM.
Nooooooooooooo. The one and only thing she asked her not to do, and impressed this for years. A good seven to be exact.
Anyway, with the sudden turn from an honor student to hell on wheels coincided with how long she has been hanging with her dad. Whatever.
Well, the brawl, and why she left is because my friend told me she was doing that, and lying. This is not drugs or anything. More on a legal issue with family court and all that. So, when I find out is when I flipped.
O.K. now first of all after 17 years we haven't heard from this kid in days. FINE. But my mom isn't well at all and actually my brother was saying the Doctors said she is in grave condition.
Now, my daughter knows this because now GET THIS. She put a bulletin up on her space thingie saying she got into a certain college. Accepted.
Wow. That's great. Don't tell the woman paid thousands of dollars for Catholic school for ya or the Uncle helped you by paying alot of loot to get her classes to even score higher on tests. No. None of us heard this, but mere strangers on the internet did.
My friend had posted asking for prayers for my mom. Well, my kid had to have seen that. No way she couldn't have. Has not called my mom in the hospital. Nothing.
SOOOOOOOO, now my friend clls me and was up to visit my mom. She tells me point blank it is all my fault my daughter left. So says my mom, and I should have held out a few more months until she graduated.
Held out? O.K. I'll let her do whatever she wants. Drink, smoke, smoke weed, sleep around, break curfew. Yeah, I'll do that.
So, when I freaked on her the other night after she lied in my face three times is when she left. This was not my rule. It was my mom's. It showed utter disregard for my mom. She was disrespectful to my mom. I in turn came down on her like a bag of bricks.
Well, yeah my mom from her damn hospital bed tells my friend I should have let it go.
What a joke. A big fat ugly joke. I did it because it was the one thing my mom asked her not to do. Now my mother is blaming me when I took up for her?
See, why people do heroin? I should never have stopped. That way my mom could let her do anything she wanted. She'd have her here with her.
I understand as she has NEVER seen her other grands. They never bothered in 17 years to even send her a card. They live around the corner. Never bothered, and never paid a red cant for anything. Well, guess who now gets to relish all that glory after we broke our tails? THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, now I should have been a hypocrit like my big trapped mother? I should have let it go? I would have if not for my mom all these years go over it again, and again. Relentless. It's my fault. I shouldn't have laid a hand on her or punished her. I should have just hung in until graduation.
Is it a wonder I was a heroin addict? Damn people all super strict and all that and then change their tune when it doesn't help them.
Heroin rocks. Heroin was not a hypocrit. Heroin would help me leave this world and the hell with them. Hopefully I'll get one of those fentanyl bags. I look forward to beating this pop stand. Hell with them all. I did it for my mom.
Kids a lousy good for nothing. She cares about ther IPod. Her TV, and video games and CD player. I wish'd I'd have grabbed all those CD's before she got here so I could sell them. There's no joy in life, and the only thing we have is heroin. Heroin never pulled this s*it on me.
Oh, and if I hear one more person say "She's just a kid so what's on her mind?" or "She did that because she's been with her dad alot" or "She'll be back".
Nah, I don't need nobody telling me that. She's a selfish piece of dog dirt. Kid or not.
Oh which reminds me. Everyone makes excuses for her and it's "She's a kid" to "She's old enough now" Which is it?
Bryn, I am so sorry that you are going through this honey.
Funny how we can romanticize drugs when we are feeling like the world is falling apart.
My prayers are with you and your family...God Bless You!
Funny how we can romanticize drugs when we are feeling like the world is falling apart.
My prayers are with you and your family...God Bless You!
Dear Bryn,
You're right, life does suck sometimes BUT my son's heroin use put me and my family through HELL. I believe, with all my heart, that that stuff comes DIRECTLY from the devil to make good people do evil things. I HATE it!
You have fought to get your self-respect back. Don't give it up! Self-respect if respect of YOURSELF. If some people choose not to respect you, that's their problem. Don't give up your own respect because of it. Your brother says that you've been a good mom. Believe him.
My mom was always taking my sister's side. It HURT! When my mom's dementia got bad and she needed my help, I had to do it for my dad at first because my mom had hurt me so many times by favoring my sister. Eventually, my mom and I finally got closer and I'm glad that happened before she passed away but I always felt loved by my dad. My sister, on the other hand, didn't enjoy the closeness with my dad that I did. Ask your dad for help. He sounds like he was there for you and your daughter. He'll help you now if you call on him and so will God.
You are in my prayers. Please stay strong.
Love,
Susan
You're right, life does suck sometimes BUT my son's heroin use put me and my family through HELL. I believe, with all my heart, that that stuff comes DIRECTLY from the devil to make good people do evil things. I HATE it!
You have fought to get your self-respect back. Don't give it up! Self-respect if respect of YOURSELF. If some people choose not to respect you, that's their problem. Don't give up your own respect because of it. Your brother says that you've been a good mom. Believe him.
My mom was always taking my sister's side. It HURT! When my mom's dementia got bad and she needed my help, I had to do it for my dad at first because my mom had hurt me so many times by favoring my sister. Eventually, my mom and I finally got closer and I'm glad that happened before she passed away but I always felt loved by my dad. My sister, on the other hand, didn't enjoy the closeness with my dad that I did. Ask your dad for help. He sounds like he was there for you and your daughter. He'll help you now if you call on him and so will God.
You are in my prayers. Please stay strong.
Love,
Susan
Hi, Bryn. I've been busy with visiting relatives for two months...so been missin my buddies here. Oh, nothing is more maddening when your child is being so self-centered. When I got to the point where I felt I hated my daughter...that's when she, It seems, took a long hard look at herself. Yours is still quite young so it may take a little while longer. But believe me all your love and guidance is not wasted...she will return. Didn't get the whole story, but it sounds like you're just doing your job as her mom and "softie" grandma isn't willing to let her go. Sounds to me like you did just what you should have. Buckle down for the "selfish" years, Bryn. Just don't question what you know is right. And especially don't you dare let her "growing years" steal yours. You've made it out of one hell, you'll make it out of this one too. TRUST ME. I'll be thinking of you. luv corrinne
Bryn,
Of course it isn't all your fault....but if you use...then it will be totally YOUR fault and you can't even blame it on nor use that scrappy 17 yr old miniature version of yourself as a reason to use..
Yeah and wouldn't all those 'evil' people love to see ya really mess up so they really can put the screws to ya.....man....are you really gonna give them that 'imaginary' satisfaction...?
Of course you ain't.....you are gonna come here as usual and threaten to use and light a votive candle in memory of the good old daze of heroin when life was much simpler and blah blah blah...
but you know you ain't gonna use and you know we know you
you ain't gonna use....and that has to piss you off a bit..
cause you would have used by now instead of
slicing and dicing that little 17 yr old she-devil
for public display here..
love MARY
Of course it isn't all your fault....but if you use...then it will be totally YOUR fault and you can't even blame it on nor use that scrappy 17 yr old miniature version of yourself as a reason to use..
Yeah and wouldn't all those 'evil' people love to see ya really mess up so they really can put the screws to ya.....man....are you really gonna give them that 'imaginary' satisfaction...?
Of course you ain't.....you are gonna come here as usual and threaten to use and light a votive candle in memory of the good old daze of heroin when life was much simpler and blah blah blah...
but you know you ain't gonna use and you know we know you
you ain't gonna use....and that has to piss you off a bit..
cause you would have used by now instead of
slicing and dicing that little 17 yr old she-devil
for public display here..
love MARY
Boy , when or if she ever grows the fuc* up ,she is going to have a boatload of guilt and regret for the way she behaved toward you and your mom.
Your doing all you can. Dont let this self-centered brat win these mind games she is playing.
I know its hard to ignore her bullsh*t,but if her actions are moving you towards using - you must ignore them and put yourself 1st.
I also raised a kid(a guy though) with the help of my mother for 15 years.There were times he told me how much he wanted to go to his mothers, & yeah that hurt!
This woman never went to one of his school meetings,not 1 of his little league games, never took him to a doctor when he had a cold ,never made sure he had a pencil for school... ...you get the idea.
She was NEVER in his life growing up- -and yet ,after I made sure she wasnt drunk as could be, I would drive him over there (maybe an hour both ways)and wait in a park for a few hours so he could visit.
I didnt want him to hate her, but I did want him to realize how good he had it.
I dont know -? -he still defends her at every turn,but he has a lot of love & respect for me for giving him the chance to make his own decision. He now realizes that being raised by me & my mom wasnt ideal,but he would have had no life if he was at his moms all those years
I cant even imagine having these problems with a 17 year old girl. I know in the
old days these kids had a lot more respect for there parents. Im not sure all the permissivness we gave them was the way to go. It now seems that many of our parents were right on ,about the way to raise kids.
Anyway- you have yourself a very tough situation there. I would take care of myself and my mom first. Sometimes kids learn more by watching the actions of there parents ,then by listening to the spoken word.
If you keep doing everything that your doing- - staying off of dope, taking care of your mom, and showing her you care about her> but your not going to screw up your life because of her, maybe she,ll come around- & if she doesnt you did all you could. I know it hurts and its a helpless feeling, and you feel like your being used, but these are the mind games these teenagers play when they want attention from thier friends or family. Sooner or later ,she,ll see how hard you worked to make things right- the sacrifices you made for her- & if she doesnt - well that will be for her shrink to work out with her.- (cause she will be needing one)
Just be careful out there byrn baby!
Its 5 AM so I dont even know if any of this makes sense- -and I dont feel like going back and"preview post" again - Ill count on you to figure it out.
TAKE IT EASY
lottsa respect and love
jack
Your doing all you can. Dont let this self-centered brat win these mind games she is playing.
I know its hard to ignore her bullsh*t,but if her actions are moving you towards using - you must ignore them and put yourself 1st.
I also raised a kid(a guy though) with the help of my mother for 15 years.There were times he told me how much he wanted to go to his mothers, & yeah that hurt!
This woman never went to one of his school meetings,not 1 of his little league games, never took him to a doctor when he had a cold ,never made sure he had a pencil for school... ...you get the idea.
She was NEVER in his life growing up- -and yet ,after I made sure she wasnt drunk as could be, I would drive him over there (maybe an hour both ways)and wait in a park for a few hours so he could visit.
I didnt want him to hate her, but I did want him to realize how good he had it.
I dont know -? -he still defends her at every turn,but he has a lot of love & respect for me for giving him the chance to make his own decision. He now realizes that being raised by me & my mom wasnt ideal,but he would have had no life if he was at his moms all those years
I cant even imagine having these problems with a 17 year old girl. I know in the
old days these kids had a lot more respect for there parents. Im not sure all the permissivness we gave them was the way to go. It now seems that many of our parents were right on ,about the way to raise kids.
Anyway- you have yourself a very tough situation there. I would take care of myself and my mom first. Sometimes kids learn more by watching the actions of there parents ,then by listening to the spoken word.
If you keep doing everything that your doing- - staying off of dope, taking care of your mom, and showing her you care about her> but your not going to screw up your life because of her, maybe she,ll come around- & if she doesnt you did all you could. I know it hurts and its a helpless feeling, and you feel like your being used, but these are the mind games these teenagers play when they want attention from thier friends or family. Sooner or later ,she,ll see how hard you worked to make things right- the sacrifices you made for her- & if she doesnt - well that will be for her shrink to work out with her.- (cause she will be needing one)
Just be careful out there byrn baby!
Its 5 AM so I dont even know if any of this makes sense- -and I dont feel like going back and"preview post" again - Ill count on you to figure it out.
TAKE IT EASY
lottsa respect and love
jack
Well, I have to once again thank all you guys. Thanks so much.
Heartache, glad to see you on here. Visiting over the pond? Hope Brit is doing well. I have thought of you often.
Bumps you rock. In one sentence you send me calm. Of course my dear Susan also as a mom understands, and you are right we did put you all through hell. I just wonder does that merit a hell back on me? My Mary as always you crack me up. I did slice and dice in public, eh?
LET IT BE KNOWN PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter is not a mini me. My daughter has NEVER been like me one bit. Not a smidge. This is a good thing in some ways, but a curse in others. She's highly intelligent, and I am not. Shame is she is very condescending. Note if even one of you guys spoke of say Edna StVincent Milay she would snidely tell you that your facts are incorrect. She may hold up a photographs of someone from history and say "See him, mom you don't know who this is do you?"
That is not me. Pre drugs, and post drugs I have NEVER EVER used a human being. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter is self-centered to no end. I can find thirty people will tell you I was a giver. A listner. I have strangers approach me I help for heaven's sake.
My child's personality is her own. It does not mean it is bad ro wrong. That's her way. It's genetics, and environment. We're all our own people, but anyone who knows me, and really knows me, and knows my daughter can't believe that's my kid. She is smug. She is confrontational over things such as religion, and romance. I mean EVERY dang day she would come in from school b*otching about someone at lunch, and how the girl slept with the guy she only has been seeing for six months so that makes her a hoe, and how Susie Q is now a WICCAN, and that's also man made so it holds no bearing.
Well, that is not me. Never has been. I respect people, and their views. I have a concious. I have remorse. I have loyalty. There is none for this kid.
Bottom line and I mean this I really do not care where she is. Honestly, I don't. I cared for my mom. I care because my mom in fact did do everything for her and with her. My mom also pushed her early on, and the kid actually does have a gift. An extremely talented gift. My mom lived her life through that and after daddy died the kid didn't want to do it anymore. My mom was pushing, and stupid me said she did not have to do it. I was wrong. If she would have continued she'd have had friends. All theater kids are together from real young until they grow old. So, now my daughter sees them all and says "Can you believe so and so from such a play is dating so and so?" Yeah, I can but you didn't want to do it. You're different, and talented, and they were the people who you got along with. Too late now.
Bottom line is I am furious that my mom who probably right now is getting the heart catheterization and I have not even attempted to get her a nightgown or her hairbrush together is the person who for year and years and years and years and years and years and years implanted in my kids head that my dad died after getting that court order and she best never break it.
NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not impose that rule when she got older. NOT ME!!!!
So when she lied about it, and then got cocky about it I flipped because of my PARENTS not myself. I could have cared less what she did about a seven year old court order. The kids a kid-adult. Whichever.
I did it for my mom. I tell you I will not tolerate something or I will not ever speak to you again if you pull that crap trust me I won't ever look at you again. My mom always talking that stuff, but does she? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
That audacity to tell my friend "Bryn should have just let her alone. She only had six more months until graduation. She should have just let it be, and she would not have left".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????????? ARE YOU JOKING?????????????
I'm on to the plans of moving. I have always took care of my mom when she got operated on. Well, they can all look at it like I jumped ship, but no way.
Let that brat come take care of her. She'd let her rot while she looked for her dang Ipod, and CD's and video games, and expensive make-up and perfume.
I ain't used, and Jack I directly owe it to you. You seriously stopped me from using. I have money right here. Your story of your son, and all you endured i absolutely relate to. Thanks, pal, and it sure did make sense. You know what it is. You know how it feels. Thank you.
Yep. These kids should all have got what we got grwoing up. A knock in the nogging or the dreaded belt. My dad was scarry with that belt. LOL He only tapped us with it, but it was the thought of it. My mom with the hairbrush rap across the mouth was more frightening.
I have to say though I learned from this. I came to some conclusions. I hold animosity of how my parents guarded my child. As grandparents the spoiling was a given. She is the ONLY GIRL. They spoiled and watched all the grandkids, and the oldest is the light of my mom's life, but he only lived with us real little.
My thought is THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the protection. All the fawning!!!!!!!! All the worry, and rules to protect my daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW COME THAT DID NOT GO FOR ME?????????????? WHY DID THEY LET ME GO WITH AN ALCOHOLIC DRIVING TO A PICNIC?????????
WHY??????????????????????? THAT RESULTED IN MY RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT IS NOT THEIR FAULT, BUT WHY NOT BE PROTECTIVE OF ME??????
Obviously, how I was with my daughter was overprotective. You know how in the blink of an eye some freak can take an eight year old, and change life for them forever. So, yeah I WAS overprotective. I knew how it goes. I knew anyone can do it to you. I knew how it was later in life to get paid off because I kept my mouth shut. I just don't know why I was allowed in a car with a known drunk. Hey, my mom still swears that man didn't drive, and his wife did.
Guess what? The wife knows exactly when she got a license, and it was AFTER she moved from our street. She didn't drive. Her drunken husband did.
Why was nobody worried about me?
Well, I am worried about me, and heck with everyone else, and if my brothers think I am shirking my duty and dumping on my mom, and they'll say it is my fault the kid lived here, and did this to her they can all go to heck too.
Thanks you guys for letting me vent. Big hug to you, Jack. You got it right on the money, and all you guys thanks so much.
Mary, my daughter is a carbon copy of that kid in "The Bad Seed" named Rhoda. It's all about HER, and she acts really sweet and kind, but she is self-centered. Even little. She'd se someone hurt, and I'd say "Awwwww, look little Johnny just fell off the swing. Let's help him". She'd say "Oh that's a shame, Mommy. Come on let's go to the sliding board". No sympathy. No empathy.
I care about other human beings. I may be a loser, but at least I care.
Heartache, glad to see you on here. Visiting over the pond? Hope Brit is doing well. I have thought of you often.
Bumps you rock. In one sentence you send me calm. Of course my dear Susan also as a mom understands, and you are right we did put you all through hell. I just wonder does that merit a hell back on me? My Mary as always you crack me up. I did slice and dice in public, eh?
LET IT BE KNOWN PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter is not a mini me. My daughter has NEVER been like me one bit. Not a smidge. This is a good thing in some ways, but a curse in others. She's highly intelligent, and I am not. Shame is she is very condescending. Note if even one of you guys spoke of say Edna StVincent Milay she would snidely tell you that your facts are incorrect. She may hold up a photographs of someone from history and say "See him, mom you don't know who this is do you?"
That is not me. Pre drugs, and post drugs I have NEVER EVER used a human being. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter is self-centered to no end. I can find thirty people will tell you I was a giver. A listner. I have strangers approach me I help for heaven's sake.
My child's personality is her own. It does not mean it is bad ro wrong. That's her way. It's genetics, and environment. We're all our own people, but anyone who knows me, and really knows me, and knows my daughter can't believe that's my kid. She is smug. She is confrontational over things such as religion, and romance. I mean EVERY dang day she would come in from school b*otching about someone at lunch, and how the girl slept with the guy she only has been seeing for six months so that makes her a hoe, and how Susie Q is now a WICCAN, and that's also man made so it holds no bearing.
Well, that is not me. Never has been. I respect people, and their views. I have a concious. I have remorse. I have loyalty. There is none for this kid.
Bottom line and I mean this I really do not care where she is. Honestly, I don't. I cared for my mom. I care because my mom in fact did do everything for her and with her. My mom also pushed her early on, and the kid actually does have a gift. An extremely talented gift. My mom lived her life through that and after daddy died the kid didn't want to do it anymore. My mom was pushing, and stupid me said she did not have to do it. I was wrong. If she would have continued she'd have had friends. All theater kids are together from real young until they grow old. So, now my daughter sees them all and says "Can you believe so and so from such a play is dating so and so?" Yeah, I can but you didn't want to do it. You're different, and talented, and they were the people who you got along with. Too late now.
Bottom line is I am furious that my mom who probably right now is getting the heart catheterization and I have not even attempted to get her a nightgown or her hairbrush together is the person who for year and years and years and years and years and years and years implanted in my kids head that my dad died after getting that court order and she best never break it.
NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not impose that rule when she got older. NOT ME!!!!
So when she lied about it, and then got cocky about it I flipped because of my PARENTS not myself. I could have cared less what she did about a seven year old court order. The kids a kid-adult. Whichever.
I did it for my mom. I tell you I will not tolerate something or I will not ever speak to you again if you pull that crap trust me I won't ever look at you again. My mom always talking that stuff, but does she? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
That audacity to tell my friend "Bryn should have just let her alone. She only had six more months until graduation. She should have just let it be, and she would not have left".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????????? ARE YOU JOKING?????????????
I'm on to the plans of moving. I have always took care of my mom when she got operated on. Well, they can all look at it like I jumped ship, but no way.
Let that brat come take care of her. She'd let her rot while she looked for her dang Ipod, and CD's and video games, and expensive make-up and perfume.
I ain't used, and Jack I directly owe it to you. You seriously stopped me from using. I have money right here. Your story of your son, and all you endured i absolutely relate to. Thanks, pal, and it sure did make sense. You know what it is. You know how it feels. Thank you.
Yep. These kids should all have got what we got grwoing up. A knock in the nogging or the dreaded belt. My dad was scarry with that belt. LOL He only tapped us with it, but it was the thought of it. My mom with the hairbrush rap across the mouth was more frightening.
I have to say though I learned from this. I came to some conclusions. I hold animosity of how my parents guarded my child. As grandparents the spoiling was a given. She is the ONLY GIRL. They spoiled and watched all the grandkids, and the oldest is the light of my mom's life, but he only lived with us real little.
My thought is THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the protection. All the fawning!!!!!!!! All the worry, and rules to protect my daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW COME THAT DID NOT GO FOR ME?????????????? WHY DID THEY LET ME GO WITH AN ALCOHOLIC DRIVING TO A PICNIC?????????
WHY??????????????????????? THAT RESULTED IN MY RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT IS NOT THEIR FAULT, BUT WHY NOT BE PROTECTIVE OF ME??????
Obviously, how I was with my daughter was overprotective. You know how in the blink of an eye some freak can take an eight year old, and change life for them forever. So, yeah I WAS overprotective. I knew how it goes. I knew anyone can do it to you. I knew how it was later in life to get paid off because I kept my mouth shut. I just don't know why I was allowed in a car with a known drunk. Hey, my mom still swears that man didn't drive, and his wife did.
Guess what? The wife knows exactly when she got a license, and it was AFTER she moved from our street. She didn't drive. Her drunken husband did.
Why was nobody worried about me?
Well, I am worried about me, and heck with everyone else, and if my brothers think I am shirking my duty and dumping on my mom, and they'll say it is my fault the kid lived here, and did this to her they can all go to heck too.
Thanks you guys for letting me vent. Big hug to you, Jack. You got it right on the money, and all you guys thanks so much.
Mary, my daughter is a carbon copy of that kid in "The Bad Seed" named Rhoda. It's all about HER, and she acts really sweet and kind, but she is self-centered. Even little. She'd se someone hurt, and I'd say "Awwwww, look little Johnny just fell off the swing. Let's help him". She'd say "Oh that's a shame, Mommy. Come on let's go to the sliding board". No sympathy. No empathy.
I care about other human beings. I may be a loser, but at least I care.
I posted this before a while ago... helps to look at where the anger comes and how we play a role in how we feel...
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Taken from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel
http://www.miguelruiz.com/
peace
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Taken from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel
http://www.miguelruiz.com/
peace
Dear Bryn,
MOST teenagers are self-centered. I'm not downplaying your daughter's actions or saying that she was right in any way. I'm just saying that it is normal to be more self-centered when you're a teenager. There are many different degrees of that and sometimes they are more arrogant or obnoxious about it. It sounds like yours is. The good news is that usually they improve and become children we can be proud of again.
I'm so glad that someone (Jack) was able to reach you where you were. Bless his heart! You two always seem to be able to help each other. You are both so blessed to have such a good and caring friend in your corner!
As for your mom, I think in a way she blames herself for the way your daughter is and she doesn't like the feeling so she's trying to pass it on to you. She KNOWS the truth and so do YOU so try to see it for what it is...passing the buck. Parents do it all the time. When the kids are good, they say, "MY daughter/son did this and MY daughter/son did that." When the kids are bad, they say, "YOUR daughter/son did this and YOUR daughter/son did that." They don't want to claim the child, the behavior, and least of all the blame! Your and your mom have been your daughter's parents all these years, so what you're doing is pretty normal....trying to put the blame on each other when actually a LOT of it is genetic. I can tell you this is true because having raised 3 children the same and getting 3 different results you have to KNOW genetics play a BIG part. It's probably best that your daughter is away for a while. Just pray for her heart to change. One of the most important jobs we have as parents is leading our child to Jesus so they attain everlasting life. We can't do it for them if they rebel but we can still pray for them. Miracles happen with prayer.
I admire your respect and responsibility towards your mom all these years. I don't know what she would have done without you.
Love,
Susan
MOST teenagers are self-centered. I'm not downplaying your daughter's actions or saying that she was right in any way. I'm just saying that it is normal to be more self-centered when you're a teenager. There are many different degrees of that and sometimes they are more arrogant or obnoxious about it. It sounds like yours is. The good news is that usually they improve and become children we can be proud of again.
I'm so glad that someone (Jack) was able to reach you where you were. Bless his heart! You two always seem to be able to help each other. You are both so blessed to have such a good and caring friend in your corner!
As for your mom, I think in a way she blames herself for the way your daughter is and she doesn't like the feeling so she's trying to pass it on to you. She KNOWS the truth and so do YOU so try to see it for what it is...passing the buck. Parents do it all the time. When the kids are good, they say, "MY daughter/son did this and MY daughter/son did that." When the kids are bad, they say, "YOUR daughter/son did this and YOUR daughter/son did that." They don't want to claim the child, the behavior, and least of all the blame! Your and your mom have been your daughter's parents all these years, so what you're doing is pretty normal....trying to put the blame on each other when actually a LOT of it is genetic. I can tell you this is true because having raised 3 children the same and getting 3 different results you have to KNOW genetics play a BIG part. It's probably best that your daughter is away for a while. Just pray for her heart to change. One of the most important jobs we have as parents is leading our child to Jesus so they attain everlasting life. We can't do it for them if they rebel but we can still pray for them. Miracles happen with prayer.
I admire your respect and responsibility towards your mom all these years. I don't know what she would have done without you.
Love,
Susan
You better yet?????
You know I am so glad you didn't go out seeking death in a bag. What a waste of a precious soul...yeah you.
When are you gonna stop all the madness and set Bryn right....
Come on it is time. And you are hurting, that is obvious.
Gina ( reglow ) shared something her grandmom use to say....Things will keep coming up to be healed until they are.
Time to heal you, focus on you. Understand that you can only do so much....Understand that no matter what you do for your daughter she still might be a b****, Until she sees......And one day she will, atleast I hope.
Ler her go, be a mom, but let her go, and make the choices she is so wanting to and learn from it all. Stop that I did this for you, that for you.....Come on you know you were a good mom. All this I did, I did, is almost like you are trying to talk yourself into it. Wondering where you went wrong. YOU didn't, you really didn't. YOU did the best you could. And that using heroin. IT IS OVER. Others want to bring that up thier problem, not yours. Don't allow it to take time from you, to mess your head up.
You have so much going on. And there is so much worry....
But in it all, this is you, just you as you try to take care of you or you will be no good to anyone else....
Your friend said what she did, so did your mom. Heating situation, full with endless complications. There was no right or wrong way, there usually isn't there is though just what happens. And from there we learn and grow, or let others blame, place blame argue fight and lose a bit of our souls....
Find some peace for you....Find some healing for you.
This isn't about anyone else, just Bryn....
Yes your mother is a concern, your daughter....
But Bryn you have so much past driving your emotions, and so much worries in just today. Together the combination is gonna eat you alive, and take from you. I don't want to see that happen.....
It is time to maybe let go...
Think about it, just for you.
Thinking of you and sending a hug.
Love,
Tina
You know I am so glad you didn't go out seeking death in a bag. What a waste of a precious soul...yeah you.
When are you gonna stop all the madness and set Bryn right....
Come on it is time. And you are hurting, that is obvious.
Gina ( reglow ) shared something her grandmom use to say....Things will keep coming up to be healed until they are.
Time to heal you, focus on you. Understand that you can only do so much....Understand that no matter what you do for your daughter she still might be a b****, Until she sees......And one day she will, atleast I hope.
Ler her go, be a mom, but let her go, and make the choices she is so wanting to and learn from it all. Stop that I did this for you, that for you.....Come on you know you were a good mom. All this I did, I did, is almost like you are trying to talk yourself into it. Wondering where you went wrong. YOU didn't, you really didn't. YOU did the best you could. And that using heroin. IT IS OVER. Others want to bring that up thier problem, not yours. Don't allow it to take time from you, to mess your head up.
You have so much going on. And there is so much worry....
But in it all, this is you, just you as you try to take care of you or you will be no good to anyone else....
Your friend said what she did, so did your mom. Heating situation, full with endless complications. There was no right or wrong way, there usually isn't there is though just what happens. And from there we learn and grow, or let others blame, place blame argue fight and lose a bit of our souls....
Find some peace for you....Find some healing for you.
This isn't about anyone else, just Bryn....
Yes your mother is a concern, your daughter....
But Bryn you have so much past driving your emotions, and so much worries in just today. Together the combination is gonna eat you alive, and take from you. I don't want to see that happen.....
It is time to maybe let go...
Think about it, just for you.
Thinking of you and sending a hug.
Love,
Tina
Proud of you kiddo !!!
love & tons of respect
jack
love & tons of respect
jack
Dang Bryn it Brynny,
don't be gettin ya drawers all in a twist by what i said....i didn't mean to imply that your spawn or offspring was a carbon copy of yourself..more like 'carbon' without the copy...as in kaboom.....you both are scrappers....stubborn...stick to your guns...meet me at high noon in the middle of town...dang nabbit ya screwy wabbit....cross this line and it's yer beehind...
Lordy....this world ain't big enuff or sane enuff
to handle two Byrnskis...
only gots enuff luv in mah heartz for one....YOU!!
love MARY
don't be gettin ya drawers all in a twist by what i said....i didn't mean to imply that your spawn or offspring was a carbon copy of yourself..more like 'carbon' without the copy...as in kaboom.....you both are scrappers....stubborn...stick to your guns...meet me at high noon in the middle of town...dang nabbit ya screwy wabbit....cross this line and it's yer beehind...
Lordy....this world ain't big enuff or sane enuff
to handle two Byrnskis...
only gots enuff luv in mah heartz for one....YOU!!
love MARY
Awwww, my wacky family from the forum. I tell ya look at those posts minus mine. Too long to read even once.
I got dear Kerry with words of wisdom from the Four Aggrements. Honestly I don't practice not any of them. I will definately put it into play. At least one of them.
Then I got my Tina the strong arm. Gadzook's I think the chick is going to cross the bridge, and give it to me good. I need that too, Tina, and you know that. For this I am grateful. You crack me up. I'm waiting for you to scream
SNAP OUT OF IT. Like Cher in that movie. Tina as Cher.
Dear, dear Susan always on a positive note. Always taking care not to stomp on my foot. Sending all those positive vibes.
Then jack in like five words let me know I was at least moving on a bit. I am so grateful for those words.
Mary, Mary how does your garden grow? You xerox one of you and one of me, and them carbons will ignite the world. I sure did have my thong in a twist. My panties in a bunch, and me drawers discombobulated.
Hope I didn't leave anyone out. You guys are the best. I ain't saying I am not PO'd to no end still, but honestly I got me on my mind. Thanks you all. Ya wacky folks. I love you all.
*********Oh, and Darin with his useless information thread just cracked me up. Learn something new everyday. Cats making over a 100 vocals. I not know dat.
Thanks there Darin.**********************
Thank everyone.
I got dear Kerry with words of wisdom from the Four Aggrements. Honestly I don't practice not any of them. I will definately put it into play. At least one of them.
Then I got my Tina the strong arm. Gadzook's I think the chick is going to cross the bridge, and give it to me good. I need that too, Tina, and you know that. For this I am grateful. You crack me up. I'm waiting for you to scream
SNAP OUT OF IT. Like Cher in that movie. Tina as Cher.
Dear, dear Susan always on a positive note. Always taking care not to stomp on my foot. Sending all those positive vibes.
Then jack in like five words let me know I was at least moving on a bit. I am so grateful for those words.
Mary, Mary how does your garden grow? You xerox one of you and one of me, and them carbons will ignite the world. I sure did have my thong in a twist. My panties in a bunch, and me drawers discombobulated.
Hope I didn't leave anyone out. You guys are the best. I ain't saying I am not PO'd to no end still, but honestly I got me on my mind. Thanks you all. Ya wacky folks. I love you all.
*********Oh, and Darin with his useless information thread just cracked me up. Learn something new everyday. Cats making over a 100 vocals. I not know dat.
Thanks there Darin.**********************
Thank everyone.
I almost wanted to scream snap out of it.....
I think no matter what we lived as us, we are still very much learning as we go along with our kids. They kinda have this way about them, to totally drive us NUTS!
LMAO as my gf and I were on the phone the other day planning a just us two vacation, to the nut house for r and r. Ajoining rooms of course, for perfectly panned nervous breakdowns......It was one of them days, and we laughed as we aren't quite sure if we will survive this teenager stuff. But we all will, hopefully no worse for wear......
I really think some you time, get Bryn together time, is in order....Find some peace kiddo, for you. Work on not letting that past eat you alive. Will make a whole lot of difference on your perspective of everything around you.
Be good to you always.
Love,
Tina
I think no matter what we lived as us, we are still very much learning as we go along with our kids. They kinda have this way about them, to totally drive us NUTS!
LMAO as my gf and I were on the phone the other day planning a just us two vacation, to the nut house for r and r. Ajoining rooms of course, for perfectly panned nervous breakdowns......It was one of them days, and we laughed as we aren't quite sure if we will survive this teenager stuff. But we all will, hopefully no worse for wear......
I really think some you time, get Bryn together time, is in order....Find some peace kiddo, for you. Work on not letting that past eat you alive. Will make a whole lot of difference on your perspective of everything around you.
Be good to you always.
Love,
Tina
Im up really early this morning- who knows why,but couldnt sleep. Anyway I checked out this site,and started thinking about you and your issues down the Turnpike.
I hope things have at least calmed down and leveled off a bit. It sounded a little wild yesterday. I really hope your Mom rebounds safely and quicky.
Stay close to her- I think you both need each other now more than you realize. & sad to say- but the Hell with the 17 year old for now. Hopefully she,ll learn , from the pain she caused both you and your mom- - but your mom sounds like she is priority# 1 right now.
Keep in touch
love
jack
I hope things have at least calmed down and leveled off a bit. It sounded a little wild yesterday. I really hope your Mom rebounds safely and quicky.
Stay close to her- I think you both need each other now more than you realize. & sad to say- but the Hell with the 17 year old for now. Hopefully she,ll learn , from the pain she caused both you and your mom- - but your mom sounds like she is priority# 1 right now.
Keep in touch
love
jack
Not a word. Not a call to my mom. Nada. You raise up someone for 17 years and you think they'd at least have the compassion to check up on their grandmom.
Thanks, Tina, and Jack.
Yeah, Tina. We got Friends Hospital over here, and man my friends and I have joked the same way. Give me a week in there. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL In a way it's a relief my mom won't have to hear and deal with all the emotional stuff, but on the other hand I see her dying. Literally.
Last night she got her shoes on at 12:30AM, and went out the door. I was like "Where are you going?" She said one of these eight medicines was making her sweat, and she was hot, and needed air. BELIEVE ME. There was a time I would have grabbed my coat and went with or after her. I CAN'T!!!!!!! I CAN NOT DO THAT ANYMORE.
In my heart I KNOW she is walking by my ex husband's parents house where my daughter is living. In fact the night before she slipped up and said "Who the heck does that cop car belong to in that driveway around there?" Well, it's a neighbors and he ain't a real cop. Otherwise you KNOW a cop car don't go home with them. That put her in the driveway of my daughter's new "home".
Hmmmpf. Philly ain't safe as it is let alone walking up driveways in the middle of the night.
Jack, you have said what my brother's have. The heck with her. I could probably actually not worry about it, but it is KILLING my mom. For all I know she is dead right now upstairs as she has slept on the couch for seven years. Why she is in her bed I do not know.
It all makes me sick. Tina, I now KNOW my dope runs had nothing to do with THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a bit. This is on her. This kid LEAVES so she can get over on someone won't make rules or is too moronic to even know what the heck she is doing. That is her choice.
Honestly I am ill.
Thanks, Tina, and Jack.
Yeah, Tina. We got Friends Hospital over here, and man my friends and I have joked the same way. Give me a week in there. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL In a way it's a relief my mom won't have to hear and deal with all the emotional stuff, but on the other hand I see her dying. Literally.
Last night she got her shoes on at 12:30AM, and went out the door. I was like "Where are you going?" She said one of these eight medicines was making her sweat, and she was hot, and needed air. BELIEVE ME. There was a time I would have grabbed my coat and went with or after her. I CAN'T!!!!!!! I CAN NOT DO THAT ANYMORE.
In my heart I KNOW she is walking by my ex husband's parents house where my daughter is living. In fact the night before she slipped up and said "Who the heck does that cop car belong to in that driveway around there?" Well, it's a neighbors and he ain't a real cop. Otherwise you KNOW a cop car don't go home with them. That put her in the driveway of my daughter's new "home".
Hmmmpf. Philly ain't safe as it is let alone walking up driveways in the middle of the night.
Jack, you have said what my brother's have. The heck with her. I could probably actually not worry about it, but it is KILLING my mom. For all I know she is dead right now upstairs as she has slept on the couch for seven years. Why she is in her bed I do not know.
It all makes me sick. Tina, I now KNOW my dope runs had nothing to do with THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a bit. This is on her. This kid LEAVES so she can get over on someone won't make rules or is too moronic to even know what the heck she is doing. That is her choice.
Honestly I am ill.
"This kid LEAVES so she can get over on someone won't make rules or is too moronic to even know what the heck she is doing. That is her choice."
Honestly I am ill.
Bryn,
Now i have to get really serious a** with ya...no more shiny the hiny and lather the blather..
I don't know if it is possible for a mother to suffer from codependency with her daughter....but all your posts have her as your sole focal point of late...to the point of bordering on being unhealthily obsessive with her.... who when where why and why nots..
I don't know how you are dealing with your own recovery at the moment as you rarely seem to talk about it.....when you do refer to your heroin addiction periodically...it always culminates into your threatening or pointing out that the stress that your daughter creates surely deserves a respite with a relapse on your part...(of course you know nobody here is going to agree with
you)
re read what i copied from your last post....your daughter sounds like the manipulative addict without the dope....when you yourself were in active addiction..didn't you try to 'get over'......make your own rules....knew who was too moronic or naive so you could continue your game?
what were we taught about dealing with addicted loved ones and about their actions and behaviors? Sometimes we just have to let go and stopped getting sucked into their lunacy as we ourselves will soon become ill and lose focus on our own lives..
you must recognize that you yourself are contributing to this stressful situation that you otherwise believe is entirely of your daughter's making...you are tearing your hair out over the steps your daughter is trying to take you through....and an old pro like you has gotta sit this one dance out as you were doing the cha cha cha when you were 'out there' long before this 17 yr old snippet......c'mon woman...you invented 'the game'!!
LET IT GO BRYNSKI....AS YOU SAID " IT IS HER CHOICE!"
love, another codependent whack job!!
MARY xxx ooo
Honestly I am ill.
Bryn,
Now i have to get really serious a** with ya...no more shiny the hiny and lather the blather..
I don't know if it is possible for a mother to suffer from codependency with her daughter....but all your posts have her as your sole focal point of late...to the point of bordering on being unhealthily obsessive with her.... who when where why and why nots..
I don't know how you are dealing with your own recovery at the moment as you rarely seem to talk about it.....when you do refer to your heroin addiction periodically...it always culminates into your threatening or pointing out that the stress that your daughter creates surely deserves a respite with a relapse on your part...(of course you know nobody here is going to agree with
you)
re read what i copied from your last post....your daughter sounds like the manipulative addict without the dope....when you yourself were in active addiction..didn't you try to 'get over'......make your own rules....knew who was too moronic or naive so you could continue your game?
what were we taught about dealing with addicted loved ones and about their actions and behaviors? Sometimes we just have to let go and stopped getting sucked into their lunacy as we ourselves will soon become ill and lose focus on our own lives..
you must recognize that you yourself are contributing to this stressful situation that you otherwise believe is entirely of your daughter's making...you are tearing your hair out over the steps your daughter is trying to take you through....and an old pro like you has gotta sit this one dance out as you were doing the cha cha cha when you were 'out there' long before this 17 yr old snippet......c'mon woman...you invented 'the game'!!
LET IT GO BRYNSKI....AS YOU SAID " IT IS HER CHOICE!"
love, another codependent whack job!!
MARY xxx ooo
Mary, you make some great points.
I ain't using. I don't intend to and if I eludd to it well it was BS.
I am a co-dependant whack job, but this ain't no 50 some year old man who has shot junk for years. This is a KID. MY KID. A 17 year old KID, Mary. May I mention with no damn street smarts.
Take a look at the very Board you post on with loved ones. Their children even as adults they worried for. I mean I am furious with the little fr*g*er, but my mom is beside herself.
There's a huge difference between worrying about my old man, and someone I birthed or raised up. She is not 18. I could go down to court, and get my panties in a bunch after all I am the custodial parent. I have physical custody of her. What will that do? Bring her home here and have her defiant? Have my mom beg for me to stop FIGHTING with her.
There's also adults in that house around there, and not a one told the kid to even drop a note to her grandmom? They can hate me, but my mom had a God*amn heart attack.
If I could link you to her myspace which is set now to private and you saw the photograph of a pretty 17 year old hugiing and nuzzling with a damn full grown man I think you'd understand where I'd get a tad upset. This kid is boy/man crazy. She craves sex as I guess it is her way of feeling loved. You put that recipe in the mix of her father who has NO CLUE there is even a myspace then ya get what I have just seen at 5:00AM. My daughter with a stranger. Could it be a long lost Uncle???????????????????????????????
The heck with that. As a parent it's my job to keep my kid safe. At least until she is 18. I have no idea who the adult is she is kissing in the picture, but man I can tell you my heart sank. Co-dependant. NOT. Parent YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What now? Call a cop?
I don't want to use. i am throwing up too much. You see your kid with her face locked onto an adult man's it may make ya worry. Maybe it's just me and I'm a real d*c*. It has nothing to do with heroin. It has to do with a kid thinks she is a smart a*s. I'll refrain from posting over here as heroin ahs nothing to do with this.
Thanks anyway.
I ain't using. I don't intend to and if I eludd to it well it was BS.
I am a co-dependant whack job, but this ain't no 50 some year old man who has shot junk for years. This is a KID. MY KID. A 17 year old KID, Mary. May I mention with no damn street smarts.
Take a look at the very Board you post on with loved ones. Their children even as adults they worried for. I mean I am furious with the little fr*g*er, but my mom is beside herself.
There's a huge difference between worrying about my old man, and someone I birthed or raised up. She is not 18. I could go down to court, and get my panties in a bunch after all I am the custodial parent. I have physical custody of her. What will that do? Bring her home here and have her defiant? Have my mom beg for me to stop FIGHTING with her.
There's also adults in that house around there, and not a one told the kid to even drop a note to her grandmom? They can hate me, but my mom had a God*amn heart attack.
If I could link you to her myspace which is set now to private and you saw the photograph of a pretty 17 year old hugiing and nuzzling with a damn full grown man I think you'd understand where I'd get a tad upset. This kid is boy/man crazy. She craves sex as I guess it is her way of feeling loved. You put that recipe in the mix of her father who has NO CLUE there is even a myspace then ya get what I have just seen at 5:00AM. My daughter with a stranger. Could it be a long lost Uncle???????????????????????????????
The heck with that. As a parent it's my job to keep my kid safe. At least until she is 18. I have no idea who the adult is she is kissing in the picture, but man I can tell you my heart sank. Co-dependant. NOT. Parent YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What now? Call a cop?
I don't want to use. i am throwing up too much. You see your kid with her face locked onto an adult man's it may make ya worry. Maybe it's just me and I'm a real d*c*. It has nothing to do with heroin. It has to do with a kid thinks she is a smart a*s. I'll refrain from posting over here as heroin ahs nothing to do with this.
Thanks anyway.
B-
Slow down.
Dont refrain from posting anything. People just throw out opinions. They dont really know the situation like you do so maybe some of the responses are off a bit.
If people didnt care ,you would get no responses.
So - TAKE IT EASY.
please- - I have to go- but we will talk later.
peace&love
jack
Slow down.
Dont refrain from posting anything. People just throw out opinions. They dont really know the situation like you do so maybe some of the responses are off a bit.
If people didnt care ,you would get no responses.
So - TAKE IT EASY.
please- - I have to go- but we will talk later.
peace&love
jack
Hi Bryn,
You and I have so much in common.
Your quote:
"That audacity to tell my friend "Bryn should have just let her alone. She only had six more months until graduation. She should have just let it be, and she would not have left".
My mother too has ALL the answers. She was/is the perfect parent, grandparent, great grandparent. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter what I do or don't do, I should have done the other thing. She blames me for how my daughter turned out, now she blames me for how my gdaughter is turning out. "She's just like you." Like it is so bad to be just like me. She constantly undermines me when I try to discipline -- THEN she complains my gdaughter is a sass mouth, why don't I do something about it?
I CAN'T WIN WITH THIS WOMAN. I am working on not even trying to anymore.
It's almost impossible at best for 3 generations of women to live together & remain sane. That is what you & I have been trying to do for years now.
My gdaughter is alot like your daughter was (except not a brain in school). I am terrified she will continue this pattern & end up like your daughter. BUT... I have no where else to send her to live. It's me and me alone (when my mother passes). I think we would do better with just my gdaughter & i living alone but that won't happen for awhile.
May I ask, what would you do differently as a mother? Maybe I can avoid this pattern continuing with my gdaughter. (probably not, but I'll do what I can).
Just wanted to say I know how you feel and I totally validate your feelings.
You and I have so much in common.
Your quote:
"That audacity to tell my friend "Bryn should have just let her alone. She only had six more months until graduation. She should have just let it be, and she would not have left".
My mother too has ALL the answers. She was/is the perfect parent, grandparent, great grandparent. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter what I do or don't do, I should have done the other thing. She blames me for how my daughter turned out, now she blames me for how my gdaughter is turning out. "She's just like you." Like it is so bad to be just like me. She constantly undermines me when I try to discipline -- THEN she complains my gdaughter is a sass mouth, why don't I do something about it?
I CAN'T WIN WITH THIS WOMAN. I am working on not even trying to anymore.
It's almost impossible at best for 3 generations of women to live together & remain sane. That is what you & I have been trying to do for years now.
My gdaughter is alot like your daughter was (except not a brain in school). I am terrified she will continue this pattern & end up like your daughter. BUT... I have no where else to send her to live. It's me and me alone (when my mother passes). I think we would do better with just my gdaughter & i living alone but that won't happen for awhile.
May I ask, what would you do differently as a mother? Maybe I can avoid this pattern continuing with my gdaughter. (probably not, but I'll do what I can).
Just wanted to say I know how you feel and I totally validate your feelings.
