It's Not About Me......ego Deflation

Pain Pills
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"The ego grows out of our sense of separtness.There is "me" and then there is everything else."

Last night I went to the wake of a client's husband at her home.She personally invited me when I was working on her garden this week.He died in his sleep over the weekend.I love this woman and we have formed a friendship and a spiritual bond over the last few years.Her mom has been in AA for 20+ years and a friend of mine sponsors her.We always have something to talk about when I'm working over there.
When she asked me to come and I accepted,I was freaked.It was all about what all these rich socialites were going to think of me,would I be standing in a room having no one to talk to?,I don't own a suit...what am I going to wear?What if one of these old geezers sees the tatoo of the shark on my neck?Where am I going to park my car that has a windshield cracked?Was she going to introduce me as the gardner?.....the tapes went crazy.
I didn't want to go.I kept talking myself into the excuse she would never know I wasn't there.
I called Sid[my sponsor] on the way over there.I told him everything that was going on.I wanted to turn around and drive back to the house.He just told me..."Tim,you are not doing this for you.That lady didn't invite you to be nice.She cared enough for you to want you around her.Say a prayer before you go in"

Well,this morning I can't tell you how glad I am that I went.I was able to see some old client's I had worked for and talk to them.MaryLou grabbed me and introduced me and made me feel welcome.Yes,I was the only one there without a suit but in my gut I felt I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

I wanted to share this morning because I get so wrapped up in myself that is was a genuinely refreshing moment to really care about someone elses grief.
It's just one more situation that God shows me that I am not the center of the universe.
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QUOTE
Was she going to introduce me as the gardner?


I wondered why I kept thinking about the movie, Saving Grace last night. I wondered if it was the spring and I was thinking about cannabis cultivation again (bad sign). I thought it was maybe Rachels link to Craig Fergusons monologue. Turns out it was you, LOL. Have you ever seen that movie? Since pot was not your DOC, I highly recommend it.

If you have seen it, remember what Matthew, the gardner, did for Grace and what a profound difference he made in her life? Im sure you made a difference to Mary Lou last night. You were brave to rise above your own fears to be there for someone you love.

Bravo.

Love,
Gina(licious)

LOL

Now, you know how much I hate to cause thread drift, but since you mention your tattoos, Jane had a request...
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Thanks,Gina

QUOTE
Have you ever seen that movie? Since pot was not your DOC, I highly recommend it.

....loved that movie.

QUOTE
Now, you know how much I hate to cause thread drift, but since you mention your tattoos, Jane had a request...


I haven't seen the request but it may require more dexterity than I have.LOL

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I've seen the request. Gina, you are bad. Shantel
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Me thinks you ladies are re-inflating Tim's ego...LOL

Excellent post, Tim.
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Tattoos eh? Seriously Tim..I can so relate to the projection we tend to indulge in...rarely does the outcome compare to our vivid imagination. I feel you did the right thing..so you did good...I am sure she appreciated it...sorry about the loss of a friend(client). Take care of yourself today....
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Hey Tim,

I own the DVD of "Saving Grace," but can never watch it again -- far too triggering. If you'd like it (since pot was never a problem for you, right?), I'd be happy to pass it on to you.
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Beautiful thing, Tim. Good going and thanks for sharing.
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Tim that was very beautiful to read this morning...................


God Bless you..........

thumper
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My formal request. I would looooooooovee to see your tatoos....

Love,
jane
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and the dexterity--LOL Beautiful post Tim I did not mean to undermine the beautiful meaning of your post. Thank you for sharing.

Again Much love and respect,
Jane
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You mean I'm not the center of the Universe??! lol
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Not on this thread, None4me. Tim's tattoos are.

(And his beautiful spirit. That goes without saying.)
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Thank you Tim...
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Thanks for the reminder Tim. I love these types of threads. I don't tap in to the board too often, but when I do, it's so helpful to read stuff showing self-honesty, humility, open-mindedness, all the things I need more of.
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Welcome Marcus.I don't remember seeing your story but would love to see more guys on here.


Thanks everyone for the feedback.My tatoo days are over.LOL

One thing I remebered as I was starting to park behind all the Mercedez and Lexus last night was the little prayer I said
"Please God don't let my car backfire and scare all these pour souls"

He came through.....LOL