Hi all.
Had that appointment with the alcohol counselor. It's just not going to work. She didn't listen to me. It's like they have their speech and any deviation from it they can't cope with. She completely invalidated my difficulties I have due to Borderline Personality Disorder and discounted that it was the root cause of my drinking because "most people have difficulties" Well I'm not f***ing most people... I'm me. I'm just needing support not a flipping lecture.
My mum got upset with me because I refused to go back... she didn't get how bad that woman made me feel. It took me standing crying in the middle of a mall for her to understand how bad it actually was for me to be lectured and made to feel it was all my fault.
So I'm on my own. I have no outside support. I have no Psychiatrist who'll give me 5 minutes... I have nobody except my mum.
Izzy
Hey Izzy I'm here for you on the boards and i know that i'm just words on a thread but never the less i am here for you and i care.
Hey don't give up on finding some good support as if one road is blocked just find an alternative route. How about finding an AA meeting for the Alcohol side of things and are you still going to the art classes you enjoyed.
I would almost certainlybelieve that if you find a meeting that you are comfortable with someone there will know someone that knows someone that can help.
This is the hard part of recovery and does require extra legwork on our behalfs but it does work if i work at it
Izzy you are not alone God is there for us all and i never thought i'd be saying that on a message board, please give your mum a big hug and a kiss from Zac in NZ as mums are sometimes our rocks when we are in a hard place.
Light and love Zac
Hey don't give up on finding some good support as if one road is blocked just find an alternative route. How about finding an AA meeting for the Alcohol side of things and are you still going to the art classes you enjoyed.
I would almost certainlybelieve that if you find a meeting that you are comfortable with someone there will know someone that knows someone that can help.
This is the hard part of recovery and does require extra legwork on our behalfs but it does work if i work at it
Izzy you are not alone God is there for us all and i never thought i'd be saying that on a message board, please give your mum a big hug and a kiss from Zac in NZ as mums are sometimes our rocks when we are in a hard place.
Light and love Zac
HI Izzy
sorry you had such a bad experience. Can I make a suggestion? I think it would be really beneficial for you to return at least 1 more time to the counsellor.
And here's why. I think its important for you to tell her how you felt about what she said. How you felt discounted, lectured at etc. Let her know how her words affected you. I would also be curious to know what her background is, education and whether or not she is an alcoholic/addict herself? What experience does she have dealing with people with your mental disorder?
Find out all that stuff because its important. Then you can frame her responses to you in a proper perspective.
Izzy I would really really encourage you to commit to some AA meetings. There you will find a very mixed bag of people but you will find people who understand you. They might not all understand you but some will. Even if you can only manage to stay 30 mins and then leave. Just try it. You don't have to share, you don't even have to ID if you can't manage it. Just try it. Try a whole bunch of different ones find one that fits that is comfortable.
Oh yeah, and when you've calmed down a bit about the counsellor, it might also be worthwhile taking an honest look inside to see if maybe one reason you got upset with her was because somewhere in her words was a truth you didn't want to face.
Are you still taking the campral Izzy? Is it helping?
Idgie.
sorry you had such a bad experience. Can I make a suggestion? I think it would be really beneficial for you to return at least 1 more time to the counsellor.
And here's why. I think its important for you to tell her how you felt about what she said. How you felt discounted, lectured at etc. Let her know how her words affected you. I would also be curious to know what her background is, education and whether or not she is an alcoholic/addict herself? What experience does she have dealing with people with your mental disorder?
Find out all that stuff because its important. Then you can frame her responses to you in a proper perspective.
Izzy I would really really encourage you to commit to some AA meetings. There you will find a very mixed bag of people but you will find people who understand you. They might not all understand you but some will. Even if you can only manage to stay 30 mins and then leave. Just try it. You don't have to share, you don't even have to ID if you can't manage it. Just try it. Try a whole bunch of different ones find one that fits that is comfortable.
Oh yeah, and when you've calmed down a bit about the counsellor, it might also be worthwhile taking an honest look inside to see if maybe one reason you got upset with her was because somewhere in her words was a truth you didn't want to face.
Are you still taking the campral Izzy? Is it helping?
Idgie.
Hey Izzy,
Im here for to always!!!!!!
Hope things getting better Girl!
Tired tonite so wont type much thinking of ya !
Ginge
Im here for to always!!!!!!
Hope things getting better Girl!
Tired tonite so wont type much thinking of ya !
Ginge
Don't be so defensive. I said I wasn't sure about the value. I said it's clear that folks here care and, if it works for one person it's of value to them. For those that can glean something from the folks here and it works, keep coming back. In MY case, I return occasionally to see how the regulars are doing but there's a real need for me to continue to explore my own triggers. Perhaps I'm still being selfish, but it's got to be all about me and my recovery right now. I come back, though, and maybe that grounds me. Dunno. Still learning.
HI Zac... Mum says thanks for the hug...
Ginge... Hi. I'll get round to emailing you soon...
Idgie. I have thought back on the whole appointment and I can honestly say It didn't work not because she said things I didn't want to hear... but because she didn't listen to me. The phrase "most people" was most prevalent which i took exception to because we weren't supposed to be talking about most people. I understood it was supposed about me.
She didn't take on board that my depression 9 out of ten times has NO trigger... that was discounted straight away... she had her speech and that was that.
I have decided (right now anyway) to go back... and just make the point that i wasn't happy about the way the previous appointment went.
Anyway.
Take care all
Izzy X
Ginge... Hi. I'll get round to emailing you soon...
Idgie. I have thought back on the whole appointment and I can honestly say It didn't work not because she said things I didn't want to hear... but because she didn't listen to me. The phrase "most people" was most prevalent which i took exception to because we weren't supposed to be talking about most people. I understood it was supposed about me.
She didn't take on board that my depression 9 out of ten times has NO trigger... that was discounted straight away... she had her speech and that was that.
I have decided (right now anyway) to go back... and just make the point that i wasn't happy about the way the previous appointment went.
Anyway.
Take care all
Izzy X
SKG...sorry to hear you feel that way about the boards. I for one can say without a doubt that 100% I am still sober today because of these boards. I too have met some great friends and I know that if I do fall they will be here to be supportive as I try to pick up the pieces. I am probably alone in that I don't follow steps or go to AA meetings so this is my meeting. It works for me. I am truly truly grateful to this board and all of the wonderful people I have met.
Valarie
Zac....just for you.....LOL It sure has been getting cold over here in my hemisphere. Time to break out the winter coats for me and my girls! LMAO
Valarie
Zac....just for you.....LOL It sure has been getting cold over here in my hemisphere. Time to break out the winter coats for me and my girls! LMAO
Hey Val,
You arent alone there girl, I dont do meetings either, as you said goes for me to, This is my meeting, and It works 100% for me to,
I was down your way thursday, went from LA to Oceanside(i think ya from there)
Had fri nite in Vegas, and won my money back I lost last trip!!!
Tonite Im in the very very pretty state of Colorado, its so nice here, Long drive from vegas this morning,
Take care,
Oh yes Im from NZ origannly but I am Australian now as left NZ at 19,
Ginge
You arent alone there girl, I dont do meetings either, as you said goes for me to, This is my meeting, and It works 100% for me to,
I was down your way thursday, went from LA to Oceanside(i think ya from there)
Had fri nite in Vegas, and won my money back I lost last trip!!!
Tonite Im in the very very pretty state of Colorado, its so nice here, Long drive from vegas this morning,
Take care,
Oh yes Im from NZ origannly but I am Australian now as left NZ at 19,
Ginge
Hey Ginge....cool you were in CA today. I am in Costa Mesa which is close to the coast. I also have a place out in the desert. It's Laughlin, NV which is 90 miles south of Las Vegas. Colorado IS gorgeous isn't it. I have inlaws that live in Telluride, Montrose and Ridway.
You and I both use this board as a meeting. Sometimes I get where I don't want to post but then I realize when I let all of that stuff roll around in my head it does me alot of harm. I guess that is what people do in meetings...they share and get things off their chest. (Watch it Zac! LOL)... Glad to hear again from you Ginge and glad you are enjoying all the travels.
Take Care..Valarie
You and I both use this board as a meeting. Sometimes I get where I don't want to post but then I realize when I let all of that stuff roll around in my head it does me alot of harm. I guess that is what people do in meetings...they share and get things off their chest. (Watch it Zac! LOL)... Glad to hear again from you Ginge and glad you are enjoying all the travels.
Take Care..Valarie
Izzy, How goes it? Let us know how you are doing, okay? Thinkin' about you.
Ginge and Valarie, I am an advocate of what works for one doesn't always work for another...so yes, the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous works for me and countless others and is instrumental in our recovery...but my Sponsor has always reminded me that some people prefer to be dry, some people embrace religion, or other methods to stay clean and sober, and who am I to judge....these boards well they complement my recovery....but I think it is great, especially for someone like Ginge who is on the road all the time to hook into this community....Bill Wilson and Dr Bob the founders of AA said some something like: when two people come together that is considered a meeting; how does it work, two drunks talking with another. That's what we do here. I'm glad you both are here and are my friends, and you too Izzy....let us know how you are doing, because we do care.
Ginge and Valarie, I am an advocate of what works for one doesn't always work for another...so yes, the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous works for me and countless others and is instrumental in our recovery...but my Sponsor has always reminded me that some people prefer to be dry, some people embrace religion, or other methods to stay clean and sober, and who am I to judge....these boards well they complement my recovery....but I think it is great, especially for someone like Ginge who is on the road all the time to hook into this community....Bill Wilson and Dr Bob the founders of AA said some something like: when two people come together that is considered a meeting; how does it work, two drunks talking with another. That's what we do here. I'm glad you both are here and are my friends, and you too Izzy....let us know how you are doing, because we do care.
