Just got out of rehab 3 weeks ago. Started the book just as soon as I got out.
Have only one point to make.
In the middle of the book Frey writes about watching an unrealistic Emergency Room show that depicts an addict poorly and has her all clean in less than an hour. He suggests that all of the executives that put the show on be fed a bunch of drugs until addicted, put them into rehab and if they live through the first couple of days, go in and listen to them beg for more drugs to make the pain stop.
Perhaps all of the people who are accusing Frey of lying should have to go through the same thing so that they will understand how right on the money his book really is.
....denise....do you mean go through withdrawals...or go through rehab..?.....robbie...
both...........
....i think most of the people on here denise who are accusing frey of lying...have been down the same road as frey.......robbie...
robbie,
I reallilze that. I was just venting about all of the other people that haven't been through what we've been through but still think they can have an opinion about it.
The truth is whatever works, works, and if one person, who may have been helped by reading his book but didn't read it because of some negative things other people have to say about it, then they have been done a great disservice by those who have and haven't gone through it.
Does that make sense?
denise
I reallilze that. I was just venting about all of the other people that haven't been through what we've been through but still think they can have an opinion about it.
The truth is whatever works, works, and if one person, who may have been helped by reading his book but didn't read it because of some negative things other people have to say about it, then they have been done a great disservice by those who have and haven't gone through it.
Does that make sense?
denise
....yeah...denise that sure does make sense....and even though we are all addicts...our experiences in life have all been different also...i was just giving an opinion to your question...i hope your well in yourself...nice to talk to ya....robbie..
So a lie is ok if it's helpful?
Spare me from BS Inc. that's
trying to sell me fake cures
and false books.
The gangster with a heart of gold
and crack w**** too good for this
world. Give me a break.
I'll take hard truth anyday
over comforting crap.
Spare me from BS Inc. that's
trying to sell me fake cures
and false books.
The gangster with a heart of gold
and crack w**** too good for this
world. Give me a break.
I'll take hard truth anyday
over comforting crap.
Big Guy,
whatever works for you........
denise
whatever works for you........
denise
Denise,
Since you liked this book so much, I curious to know if you plan on "recovering" the same way Mr. Frey suggests? I struggled with addiction for over 20 years and have now been clean for over 3 years. This book does a diservice to those struggling with this disease. While interesting in some respects, as a whole it's garbage.
Since you liked this book so much, I curious to know if you plan on "recovering" the same way Mr. Frey suggests? I struggled with addiction for over 20 years and have now been clean for over 3 years. This book does a diservice to those struggling with this disease. While interesting in some respects, as a whole it's garbage.
chris,
Ok, lets all agree to disagree, if necessary. I realize that we all recover differently......As far as me, this is my third rodeo so I will use everything that worked and stay away from everything that didn't. I will take from his book what I need and lose what I don't.
denise
Ok, lets all agree to disagree, if necessary. I realize that we all recover differently......As far as me, this is my third rodeo so I will use everything that worked and stay away from everything that didn't. I will take from his book what I need and lose what I don't.
denise
Maybe James Frey should go through it himself, maybe then he could write a REAL book. I was an alcoholic and addict for 21 years and I can tell you this guy is a joke. I spilled more alcohol on my shirt than this guy ever drank. Hey, the best I can remember, I was President of the United States...can I get my $200,000 pension? If you really want a shot at REAL recovery (with a quality of life) find a 12 step program.
I just want to point out one of the most important things about Frey's suppossed experiences:
He claims that addiction is a weakness, nothing else,
He was once using so then he was weak,
All the lies are designed to win sympathy for him because he was a victim of his environment and bad breaks,
In reality he lived a priviledged existence, and so I think he needed to create sympathy, as he saw it, to explain his "weakness"
I'd give anyone with an addiction my sympathy and support.
Cuirously, in published interview Frey claims that too many addicts play the vicitm car....but that is what all his lies are about the poor, outcast,enraged bad-boy
A Henry Caufield wannabe
He claims that addiction is a weakness, nothing else,
He was once using so then he was weak,
All the lies are designed to win sympathy for him because he was a victim of his environment and bad breaks,
In reality he lived a priviledged existence, and so I think he needed to create sympathy, as he saw it, to explain his "weakness"
I'd give anyone with an addiction my sympathy and support.
Cuirously, in published interview Frey claims that too many addicts play the vicitm car....but that is what all his lies are about the poor, outcast,enraged bad-boy
A Henry Caufield wannabe
Denise,
I didn't mean to sound disrectful or inconsiderate. I can full well empathize with your struggles. I was a chronic relapser for many years. I had reached a point where I was convinced I would never be able to get clean and I would die a lonely, miserable death. Fortunately, with the help of AA and the 12 steps, along with an absolute conviction I didn't want to live that way anymore (and several very real stays in the county jail) I was able to break the addiction/relapse cycle. One of the biggest differences today is I realize that if I pick up a drink or a drug today, it's only a matter of time before the nightmare starts all over again. That's why this IS a disease. We can never drink/use like "normal" people. And if Mr. Frey really is an addict, he can't either.
Best of luck to you. Hope to hear from you again.
I didn't mean to sound disrectful or inconsiderate. I can full well empathize with your struggles. I was a chronic relapser for many years. I had reached a point where I was convinced I would never be able to get clean and I would die a lonely, miserable death. Fortunately, with the help of AA and the 12 steps, along with an absolute conviction I didn't want to live that way anymore (and several very real stays in the county jail) I was able to break the addiction/relapse cycle. One of the biggest differences today is I realize that if I pick up a drink or a drug today, it's only a matter of time before the nightmare starts all over again. That's why this IS a disease. We can never drink/use like "normal" people. And if Mr. Frey really is an addict, he can't either.
Best of luck to you. Hope to hear from you again.
chris,
your opinion was not disrespectful. I took it as one person's opinion, which every person, even addicts ( if you can believe it ) have the right to have. What I wrote was my opinion and mine alone. I can't speak for other people.
I've got to tell you that I grew up priviledged and never wanted for anything. It didn't seem, when I started using - running crank in 1983, when it was real, I didn't really do it for anything other than I liked the way if felt. I am by nature a happy optimistic person. I know I'll probably get slammed for this, but the first two times out of rehab I went to NA meetings, 90 in 90 or realisticly 180 in 90. Just as James Frey talks about, I felt NA became my new addiction. Although it was much safer and healthier, I felt I had just replace one for the other. Once I decided to use again, I did call my sponser and there was absolutely nothing she could have done to stop it. I know I just wasn't ready, but this time I am focusing on other things that seemed to work better, FOR ME. I will admit that AA/NA has the highest success rate of any program and I hope that no one reading this decides not to give NA/AA a try because it may be the one thing that saves your life...again, these are just MY opinions.
I guess I'll finish this one by saying, since I started reading the book the day out of rehab, I couldn't help but identify with everything he was saying - I had just lived it the weeks prior. I can't think of anything I didn't feel, that he felt (omitting the teeth thing). Whether he imbellished or not, irrellevent to me, but, in my case, I can't help but wonder, if he did, how did he get so damn much right.......I thought those thoughts were just in my head.
denise
your opinion was not disrespectful. I took it as one person's opinion, which every person, even addicts ( if you can believe it ) have the right to have. What I wrote was my opinion and mine alone. I can't speak for other people.
I've got to tell you that I grew up priviledged and never wanted for anything. It didn't seem, when I started using - running crank in 1983, when it was real, I didn't really do it for anything other than I liked the way if felt. I am by nature a happy optimistic person. I know I'll probably get slammed for this, but the first two times out of rehab I went to NA meetings, 90 in 90 or realisticly 180 in 90. Just as James Frey talks about, I felt NA became my new addiction. Although it was much safer and healthier, I felt I had just replace one for the other. Once I decided to use again, I did call my sponser and there was absolutely nothing she could have done to stop it. I know I just wasn't ready, but this time I am focusing on other things that seemed to work better, FOR ME. I will admit that AA/NA has the highest success rate of any program and I hope that no one reading this decides not to give NA/AA a try because it may be the one thing that saves your life...again, these are just MY opinions.
I guess I'll finish this one by saying, since I started reading the book the day out of rehab, I couldn't help but identify with everything he was saying - I had just lived it the weeks prior. I can't think of anything I didn't feel, that he felt (omitting the teeth thing). Whether he imbellished or not, irrellevent to me, but, in my case, I can't help but wonder, if he did, how did he get so damn much right.......I thought those thoughts were just in my head.
denise
It's alll about balance, Denise. If NA became a new "addiction" then something wasn't right. But even if it did, no way did that become the reason for your relapse. You used again because you wanted to and you hadn't admitted your powerlessness. What were the things James Frey was talking about that you could relate to so much? It sounds to me like he just gave you an excuse not to go to meetings. Almost like you heard something you wanted to hear and since he's claimed to be clean all these years, why not try it that way. But as I read that book, it was obvious he was embellishing things. And this comes from someone who has bounce in and out of more rehabs, jails, detoxes and other institutions than James Frey ever has. I've also been given my last rites twice in hospitals as a direct result of this disease, so that guy has nothing on me. What I do do is talk openly and honestly about ALL aspects of my life, both then and now. But more than anything, I'm all in favor of whatever works for any given individual.
chris.....
NA wasn't the reason for my relapse. I was the reason for my relapse. I'll admit to that....I relapsed weeks before I went out and used.
In answer to your question:
If I had to pick the things that were parallel to my rehab experience it would take too long and tax whats left of my brain...Maybe it would be better if I listed the things that I couldn't relate to ..the teeth thing is one thing that I have a hard time believing that anyone could or would tolerate and maybe by admitting this I'm saying that there are a few things that I can't say didn't happen, but I also have a hard time understanding how he was able to meet with the girl outside of the building.
He didn't give me an excuse not to go back to NA.....I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions and I alone decided not to go back to NA this time....I'm not saying I'll never go back but for now I'm not and luckily I haven't even thought about using, yesterday or today....who knows about tomorrow.
Also, I like you, have been given last rights, but just once and it was the week before I went into rehab this time. I knew I was dying and just wanted it to hurry up. I could have cared less. Now I do care and think that is why I haven't thought about using........maybe it was my bottom and whether I read the book or didn't I will succeed. Only time will tell. I guess that's true for all of us.
Denise
denise
NA wasn't the reason for my relapse. I was the reason for my relapse. I'll admit to that....I relapsed weeks before I went out and used.
In answer to your question:
If I had to pick the things that were parallel to my rehab experience it would take too long and tax whats left of my brain...Maybe it would be better if I listed the things that I couldn't relate to ..the teeth thing is one thing that I have a hard time believing that anyone could or would tolerate and maybe by admitting this I'm saying that there are a few things that I can't say didn't happen, but I also have a hard time understanding how he was able to meet with the girl outside of the building.
He didn't give me an excuse not to go back to NA.....I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions and I alone decided not to go back to NA this time....I'm not saying I'll never go back but for now I'm not and luckily I haven't even thought about using, yesterday or today....who knows about tomorrow.
Also, I like you, have been given last rights, but just once and it was the week before I went into rehab this time. I knew I was dying and just wanted it to hurry up. I could have cared less. Now I do care and think that is why I haven't thought about using........maybe it was my bottom and whether I read the book or didn't I will succeed. Only time will tell. I guess that's true for all of us.
Denise
denise
Denise, I hope you succeed also. In the end it's the only thing that's important. But as far as what you were able to relate to in the book as far as rehab, who cares. I've been in countless rehabs and for the most part they're a joke. Experiences are similar because they're full of toxic people who rather be elsewhere, resulting in lots of drama. But rehab has little if anything to do with long-term sobriety. I'm far more concerned with what you're doing to stay clean. Why is it going to be different this time? If you're not going to meetings, what are you doing? Do you have any kind of support network? Are you just using willpower? That can work for a brief time, but it's never successful in the long term. What's changed, Denise? Bad experiences can be a great motivator but it never lasts. I'm just concerned you're setting yourself up. You sound exactly the way I used to be, telling myself this and that, I don't need to go to meetings, it's not for me, yada yada yada. And everytime, I'd be out using again, wondering what the hell happened. I always had such good intentions. But good intentions almost got me killed. For us, it's about actions.
chris,
My recovery program consists of using NA principles without going to the meetings. I do have friends from NA that I have been in constant contact with since going into rehab. People, places and things are gone. There are some aspects of NA that I use but just don't go to the meetings. I may be setting myself up for failure but, for today, I'm doing ok. I know what triggers take me back out there and if I am confronted with them I'm not saying that I won't go to NA for survival.This last time was, of course, the worst I've ever had to go through and I just know that I never want to go through any of it ever again. 25 years of using, and being sick is enough for me. At least thats how I feel today. I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. This is the only way that I know how to deal with it, for now. I am open to any suggestions and your suggestions about 12 step did not fall on deaf ears. One day I may refer back to one of your messages and take your advise. But for today...........
denise
My recovery program consists of using NA principles without going to the meetings. I do have friends from NA that I have been in constant contact with since going into rehab. People, places and things are gone. There are some aspects of NA that I use but just don't go to the meetings. I may be setting myself up for failure but, for today, I'm doing ok. I know what triggers take me back out there and if I am confronted with them I'm not saying that I won't go to NA for survival.This last time was, of course, the worst I've ever had to go through and I just know that I never want to go through any of it ever again. 25 years of using, and being sick is enough for me. At least thats how I feel today. I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. This is the only way that I know how to deal with it, for now. I am open to any suggestions and your suggestions about 12 step did not fall on deaf ears. One day I may refer back to one of your messages and take your advise. But for today...........
denise
Denise,
I'm not sure what "using NA principles without going to the meetings" means, because the biggest NA principal, other than not picking up, is going to meetings. But it least it sounds like you're keeping an open mind. I'm sure if you're in contact with NA people, they're on you about getting back into the rooms. I guess the reason I'm such a big advocate of 12-step programs is that there is so much more to recovery than not using. Cleaning up our past, learning how to live again a day at a time, the fellowship, the friendships, and much more. But as I said before, whatever works for any given individual I'm in favore of. Good luck to you, Denise. I'm pulling for you to stay clean. It sounds like you've been through a nigthmare, like myself. Hopefully you've reached that point where you say, "I've had enough, I can't do it anymore." The key is to say that every day.
I'm not sure what "using NA principles without going to the meetings" means, because the biggest NA principal, other than not picking up, is going to meetings. But it least it sounds like you're keeping an open mind. I'm sure if you're in contact with NA people, they're on you about getting back into the rooms. I guess the reason I'm such a big advocate of 12-step programs is that there is so much more to recovery than not using. Cleaning up our past, learning how to live again a day at a time, the fellowship, the friendships, and much more. But as I said before, whatever works for any given individual I'm in favore of. Good luck to you, Denise. I'm pulling for you to stay clean. It sounds like you've been through a nigthmare, like myself. Hopefully you've reached that point where you say, "I've had enough, I can't do it anymore." The key is to say that every day.
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Denise sez
"Perhaps all of the people who are accusing Frey of lying should have to go through the same thing so that they will understand how right on the money his book really is."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - -
I am one of those questioning him. As for going thru the same things-I think if he went thru the1/2 the sh** i have-(and many others) he would have hung himself-
please Im not comparing, or saying one addict is worse off then another> when it comes to recovery we all stuggle and find our own way.
Maybe the Larry Kings of the world need to go through some aspects of addiction to understand, -but certainly not all the people on this board
Denise sez
"Perhaps all of the people who are accusing Frey of lying should have to go through the same thing so that they will understand how right on the money his book really is."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - -
I am one of those questioning him. As for going thru the same things-I think if he went thru the1/2 the sh** i have-(and many others) he would have hung himself-
please Im not comparing, or saying one addict is worse off then another> when it comes to recovery we all stuggle and find our own way.
Maybe the Larry Kings of the world need to go through some aspects of addiction to understand, -but certainly not all the people on this board
