Good on you for your successes today ! I only managed 4 loads of laundry, you win !!! LOL I'm proud of you on all counts. Gotta run to a Ringette game. I read your email, we'll talk tomorrow, k?
ww- good job with the laundry! what's a ringette game? (must be a canadian thing or another thing i've missed lol) ... you can tell me about it tomorrow.
have fun. :)
jo
have fun. :)
jo
Yea, been wondering the same thing since she mentioned it a coupla posts ago.
Which reminds me of an old Andy Griffith recording on which he describes going to a football game in a very Mark Twain kind of style. Anyone else ever heard that?
If you folks werent so prolific, it would be easier to keep up with this board.
%slams the bunker door shut again, bolts it%
Which reminds me of an old Andy Griffith recording on which he describes going to a football game in a very Mark Twain kind of style. Anyone else ever heard that?
If you folks werent so prolific, it would be easier to keep up with this board.
%slams the bunker door shut again, bolts it%
Dude, why do you keep going to that bunker? Please explain. I say ouch because it hurts me to see a fellow former pothead locking doors on us. I imagine I will keep knocking, but I will not make my knuckles bleed as I tend to be stubborn. :-)
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Ringette is a Canadian sport game which was first introduced in 1963 in North Bay, Ontario by Sam Jacks, who worked at the Department of Parks and Recreation. The first-ever ringette game was played in Espanola, Ontario in the winter of 1963-1964. Developed originally for girls, ringette is a fast-paced team sport (even faster than hockey) played on an ice rink in which players use a straight stick to pass, carry, and shoot a rubber ring to score goals. Sam Jacks also invented floor hockey.
For ten years, play centered in Ontario and Quebec; however, the sport quickly spread across Canada and is now played in all ten provinces and the Northwest Territories.
Unlike ice hockey the game does not begin with a faceoff. Rather one of the teams starts with the ring in their end of the central face off circle.
As of 2004, there are over 50,000 Canadian girls playing ringette.
My daughter is the goalie and won the provincial championships in 2004 !
Ringette is played internationally as well, there are many different countries playing ringette other than Canada, for instance Sweden and Finland.
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Never heard the Andy Griffith/football recording but we have "The Hockey Song" by
Stompin' Tom Connors.
A little piece of Canadiana for ya. Kind of ironic, and maybe a little bitter, after being shut out of Olympic gold, but the game itself doesn't suffer for it, just the collective Canadian ego. :-)
*******************************************************************************************
Ringette is a Canadian sport game which was first introduced in 1963 in North Bay, Ontario by Sam Jacks, who worked at the Department of Parks and Recreation. The first-ever ringette game was played in Espanola, Ontario in the winter of 1963-1964. Developed originally for girls, ringette is a fast-paced team sport (even faster than hockey) played on an ice rink in which players use a straight stick to pass, carry, and shoot a rubber ring to score goals. Sam Jacks also invented floor hockey.
For ten years, play centered in Ontario and Quebec; however, the sport quickly spread across Canada and is now played in all ten provinces and the Northwest Territories.
Unlike ice hockey the game does not begin with a faceoff. Rather one of the teams starts with the ring in their end of the central face off circle.
As of 2004, there are over 50,000 Canadian girls playing ringette.
My daughter is the goalie and won the provincial championships in 2004 !
Ringette is played internationally as well, there are many different countries playing ringette other than Canada, for instance Sweden and Finland.
*******************************************************************************************
Never heard the Andy Griffith/football recording but we have "The Hockey Song" by
Stompin' Tom Connors.
A little piece of Canadiana for ya. Kind of ironic, and maybe a little bitter, after being shut out of Olympic gold, but the game itself doesn't suffer for it, just the collective Canadian ego. :-)
hi ww- thanks for the info about ringettes! sounds like fun. so who won????
how was your day? i made it thru another AND got my teeth cleaned. a real clean fresh start! today was a hard day getting back to things after the long weekend but getting high was not one of my thoughts. infact when i thought about it, it was how i wasn't thinking about it or craving it.
wow, three months for you! that is great!
time does pass huh? i'm hanging in there. just like cigs, the addiction and behavior is disgusting to me.
now just to get my mind working straight and i'll be okay.
is it better now that your husband is home?
see any magpies lately?
-jo
how was your day? i made it thru another AND got my teeth cleaned. a real clean fresh start! today was a hard day getting back to things after the long weekend but getting high was not one of my thoughts. infact when i thought about it, it was how i wasn't thinking about it or craving it.
wow, three months for you! that is great!
time does pass huh? i'm hanging in there. just like cigs, the addiction and behavior is disgusting to me.
now just to get my mind working straight and i'll be okay.
is it better now that your husband is home?
see any magpies lately?
-jo
WW-
The bunker thing was a joke, you didn't get it, np. Don't bloody your knuckles, ring the bell. I will be reading but probably not posting for the next few days, yall have a good week.
The bunker thing was a joke, you didn't get it, np. Don't bloody your knuckles, ring the bell. I will be reading but probably not posting for the next few days, yall have a good week.
hippinerd why not posting if i may ask???..... if you can.....we need you! -jo
My husband has a co-worker who is in the hospital dying(liver cancer), it appears my husband is getting ultra stoned to deal. He looked pretty f***ed up before he went out last night. It's just sad. I have no idea how to approach him. :-(
I wish I had the guts to say something, especially when he gets behind the wheel. That makes me f***ing crazy.
I did laundry ALL day yesterday, I was a machine, girlfriend. Ahhhh, such satisfaction. LOL
No magpies but the squirrels keep showing up this last week. :-)
Looking forward to my walk with my friend tonight. She emailed me asking me about P.A.W.S. as she is struggling with quitting the weed and has stopped cold turkey with the booze. Having a hard time. I told her about my meetings. I'm not going to force the issue but I am going to tell her she can't do this alone. She has me. of course, but she needs more.
I wish I had the guts to say something, especially when he gets behind the wheel. That makes me f***ing crazy.
I did laundry ALL day yesterday, I was a machine, girlfriend. Ahhhh, such satisfaction. LOL
No magpies but the squirrels keep showing up this last week. :-)
Looking forward to my walk with my friend tonight. She emailed me asking me about P.A.W.S. as she is struggling with quitting the weed and has stopped cold turkey with the booze. Having a hard time. I told her about my meetings. I'm not going to force the issue but I am going to tell her she can't do this alone. She has me. of course, but she needs more.
jojo-
no worrries, I'll be here if I'm needed.
WW-
hugs, (sneak up from behind for no apparent reason), sit beside him on the couch with your arm around him, just hold his hand. Treat him like you would want him to treat you if your friend was in the same situation. Try to ignore his using and focus on the child inside the man. %now that I have betrayed my gender...lol%
no worrries, I'll be here if I'm needed.
WW-
hugs, (sneak up from behind for no apparent reason), sit beside him on the couch with your arm around him, just hold his hand. Treat him like you would want him to treat you if your friend was in the same situation. Try to ignore his using and focus on the child inside the man. %now that I have betrayed my gender...lol%
WW, I think hippie has it right on. Just a soft touch & a knowing look can mean the world when your hurting! I wouldn't say anything about his driving. I know no one ever questioned me about my driving when I was getting high & i was never in an accident unless someone else hit me. If you say something he'll probably just get worse, right now he needs understanding, not guidance. I have learned from being raised with 5 boys that guys don't like being told what to do. they want to think they can take care of themselves. You just have to be sly & work around their ego. Especially when their hurting or feeling their own mortality. Be his soft place to fall. Maybe he could use some wild & crazy sex to relieve some stress & show him how alive he still is. By drawing him into you maybe you can draw him out of the weed. I'm not saying he won't do it at all but it could slow it down if he sees he can turn to you. I do believe the thing a man appreciates most in the world is if he truly feels his wife desires him. Comfort food could help to. When I'm sad I always make lasagna. Give him an extra squeeze from me, I know how hard it is to lose a friend. Hugs to you to for being such a great wife!
aea
aea
hippie- i'm glad you are around. i get nervous when you aren't.
i'm still clean, but not well.
-jo
i'm still clean, but not well.
-jo
jojo-
Stay that way, we have people on the board now that need YOU! August was right in his parting comment that folks who are just recovering need others who are only a little bit ahead of them for understanding/support. The more clean time I get under my belt, the less I remember how it was at first.
Stay that way, we have people on the board now that need YOU! August was right in his parting comment that folks who are just recovering need others who are only a little bit ahead of them for understanding/support. The more clean time I get under my belt, the less I remember how it was at first.
mega stuff here....in the midst of cleaning my head up. and much on my plate.... and i've been very unhappy. yet i've always been unhappy. my %wonderful% dead abusive father said i was born with a frown on my face.
after being up all night the night before in a major panic attack.... last night my husband told me how much he has grown, i have not. and thus we have grown apart. he wants to stay together for my daugter's sake. i told him to go move in with his mother. i think we will separate (though he won't want to leave and it's my apt for 25 years so i'm not leaving). he won't want tot leave our daughter.... he thinks it best we stay in a bad marriage for her sake. i don't know. i don't know. i just know i just lost my best friend. and i can not share with him anymore.
i am so upset. i got clean for this?
he told me he can't bear my unhappiness anymore and judged me smugly ..... so i told him i'd stop sharing my thoughts and all that is going on because i can not bear to be judged, esp by someone who is so happy in their peaceful life. he is buddhist.
i decided to close my business.... i decided to let my mother sort out her stuff.... i decided many things. i will remove the major challenges to be a better mother.
i asked him if he would go to counseling. he said he has no time and no money.
i told him to go stay with his mother.
i am >this< far from calling he weed dude. i mean what is the point.... i am so anxious, so upset.
i have heard before and i remember in my old recovery group people would kick heroin, methadone, weed, pills and then their partner tells them how unhappy they are etc. in this case my husband is very happy and is brought down by my unhappiness, my fears, my anxiety......
i don't even want to work it out, i have no strength for this or him or his judgements.... we really have grown apart, but i can't imagine my life without him.
-jo
after being up all night the night before in a major panic attack.... last night my husband told me how much he has grown, i have not. and thus we have grown apart. he wants to stay together for my daugter's sake. i told him to go move in with his mother. i think we will separate (though he won't want to leave and it's my apt for 25 years so i'm not leaving). he won't want tot leave our daughter.... he thinks it best we stay in a bad marriage for her sake. i don't know. i don't know. i just know i just lost my best friend. and i can not share with him anymore.
i am so upset. i got clean for this?
he told me he can't bear my unhappiness anymore and judged me smugly ..... so i told him i'd stop sharing my thoughts and all that is going on because i can not bear to be judged, esp by someone who is so happy in their peaceful life. he is buddhist.
i decided to close my business.... i decided to let my mother sort out her stuff.... i decided many things. i will remove the major challenges to be a better mother.
i asked him if he would go to counseling. he said he has no time and no money.
i told him to go stay with his mother.
i am >this< far from calling he weed dude. i mean what is the point.... i am so anxious, so upset.
i have heard before and i remember in my old recovery group people would kick heroin, methadone, weed, pills and then their partner tells them how unhappy they are etc. in this case my husband is very happy and is brought down by my unhappiness, my fears, my anxiety......
i don't even want to work it out, i have no strength for this or him or his judgements.... we really have grown apart, but i can't imagine my life without him.
-jo
JoJo, I am in a similar situation. 19 yrs married. I think my wife is terribly unhappy. I can tolerate her, she meets most of the needs i need from a wife. I wish we could get along better but she is constantly unhappy, miserable and angry, and it is not just towards me but he same with her other relationships. But then she just turns around 100% and is sweet as silk for a while.
I DO think it is worth staying together "just for the kids" if at all reasonable. When we have kids we make a responsiblity. Now, the marriage can't always be kept together, but think kids deserve to be raised in a mother/father household at least until they are raised, then the divorce bar is set a little lower.
I DO think it is worth staying together "just for the kids" if at all reasonable. When we have kids we make a responsiblity. Now, the marriage can't always be kept together, but think kids deserve to be raised in a mother/father household at least until they are raised, then the divorce bar is set a little lower.
also, it has VERY MUCH seemed like our marriage is actually worse when i'm straight. I know i wrote this diary 18mo.'s ago when it seemed my wife was totally "nuts" and constantly freaking on me in rage,(still have it) and i was just like a passive bystander that someone was beating, it semed like her rage had nothing to do with my actions or reactions(i've watched my mother abuse my father all of their married life), and one defect i don't have is anger. Then i swear to God, last August04 when i got a bag after 18mo.'s clean, very shockingly once i went back secretly on pot, she seemed to totally calm down.
hc-
you indicated previously that it was going better this time, is that still the case?
you indicated previously that it was going better this time, is that still the case?
I often feel like what is the point of giving up if i turn into this sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, quick tempered b****. I end up taking all my frustrations out on everyone else esp. my partner and my kids.
Does this ever end? After being straight for a while (months/years) does the aaagggghhhh!!!!!!!! feeling subdue or intensify?
We give up pot because for some reason or another as it is not working out in our lives. If we give up and become depressed etc how long is it before being straight begins to work out in our lives?
Is this dependent on how we deal with being straight, why we began smoking in the first place and/or our current situations etc?
Does anyone know? or do I find out myself after years of no pot?
>sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, quick tempered b****. I end up taking all my frustrations out on everyone else esp. my partner and my kids.
truthfully, that sounds like my wife, who never smoked. at least it only last a day or so around here, then she is nice to me again
>Does this ever end? After being straight for a while (months/years) does the aaagggghhhh!!!!!!!! feeling subdue or intensify?
i guess that is why AA and other programs say it is necessary to work on ourselves, they say we need a spiritual awakening, that is what the 12 steps are all about, to change that sick emotional part of you that need healing, but AA is for alcoholics(or people the courts make pretend to be "alchys" for a while) MarijAnon is not widely available.
>We give up pot because for some reason or another as it is not working out in our lives. If we give up and become depressed etc how long is it before being straight begins to work out in our lives?
AA says we need a spiritual awakening. I had one in 81, but haven't really had it since, maybe that is why i keep relapsing.
>Does anyone know? or do I find out myself after years of no pot?
i do know it is different for everyone and not everyone needs to do the same thing, but I think you are on the right track asking and looking for answers, because where you put your energy, that is where your results are.
I'm skeptical of vitamins and herbs, but St. Johns Wort is medically proven for depression and can be bought OTCounter. Maybe you need some professional help, counseling and prescription meds, some kind of crutch to get you over this. and snap you out of it until you get into a new pattern. i know i am hoping something will help me get well again.
truthfully, that sounds like my wife, who never smoked. at least it only last a day or so around here, then she is nice to me again
>Does this ever end? After being straight for a while (months/years) does the aaagggghhhh!!!!!!!! feeling subdue or intensify?
i guess that is why AA and other programs say it is necessary to work on ourselves, they say we need a spiritual awakening, that is what the 12 steps are all about, to change that sick emotional part of you that need healing, but AA is for alcoholics(or people the courts make pretend to be "alchys" for a while) MarijAnon is not widely available.
>We give up pot because for some reason or another as it is not working out in our lives. If we give up and become depressed etc how long is it before being straight begins to work out in our lives?
AA says we need a spiritual awakening. I had one in 81, but haven't really had it since, maybe that is why i keep relapsing.
>Does anyone know? or do I find out myself after years of no pot?
i do know it is different for everyone and not everyone needs to do the same thing, but I think you are on the right track asking and looking for answers, because where you put your energy, that is where your results are.
I'm skeptical of vitamins and herbs, but St. Johns Wort is medically proven for depression and can be bought OTCounter. Maybe you need some professional help, counseling and prescription meds, some kind of crutch to get you over this. and snap you out of it until you get into a new pattern. i know i am hoping something will help me get well again.
Shark Girl,
Hi, I went to my Doctor as it got really bad when I quit. (the mood shifts, anxiety, then depression kicked in full force). I also attend a support group now and I am currently in the process of trying different meds.(Wellbutrin and Elavil) For me, it was ridiculous to think I could just go through this without some kind of support. I have had depression for many years off and on, I imagine the weed masked alot of it, or perhaps the weed caused it. I will never know. But the so-called "recreational" use became a daily thing which was a big clue to me that I was an addict, an addict in denial, at first.
Telling my Doctor was the most difficult as I was afraid of the legality part of it. As long as I didn't threaten to kill anyone, the Doc conversation was confidential, or else I can assume I'd be inpatient in the hospital right now with no access to this awesome message board and some kind and loving peeps. :-)
I have been clean for almost 3 months and sleep way too much but that is common with depression. It's not pleasant to feel dull and empty most of the time...with flickers of joy. However, the alternative is the insanity of addiction. I had to give up alcohol as well, because it triggered the want for weed.
This is just my way, so far, take what you need and leave the rest.
Hi, I went to my Doctor as it got really bad when I quit. (the mood shifts, anxiety, then depression kicked in full force). I also attend a support group now and I am currently in the process of trying different meds.(Wellbutrin and Elavil) For me, it was ridiculous to think I could just go through this without some kind of support. I have had depression for many years off and on, I imagine the weed masked alot of it, or perhaps the weed caused it. I will never know. But the so-called "recreational" use became a daily thing which was a big clue to me that I was an addict, an addict in denial, at first.
Telling my Doctor was the most difficult as I was afraid of the legality part of it. As long as I didn't threaten to kill anyone, the Doc conversation was confidential, or else I can assume I'd be inpatient in the hospital right now with no access to this awesome message board and some kind and loving peeps. :-)
I have been clean for almost 3 months and sleep way too much but that is common with depression. It's not pleasant to feel dull and empty most of the time...with flickers of joy. However, the alternative is the insanity of addiction. I had to give up alcohol as well, because it triggered the want for weed.
This is just my way, so far, take what you need and leave the rest.
Executive Summary of what hc and WW said:
When you quit pot, or any drug, for that matter, the issuses which led to your using it in the first place will resurface, because your use didn't solve anything. Of course, you will change, and that will change how the people in your life react to you making the struggle all that much more difficult.
If you stay clean and address these issues honestly, things will get better. If you don't the best you can hope for is ending up a "dry addict", in which case the monster will be always waiting outside the door, waiting for a moment of weakness on your part.
When you quit pot, or any drug, for that matter, the issuses which led to your using it in the first place will resurface, because your use didn't solve anything. Of course, you will change, and that will change how the people in your life react to you making the struggle all that much more difficult.
If you stay clean and address these issues honestly, things will get better. If you don't the best you can hope for is ending up a "dry addict", in which case the monster will be always waiting outside the door, waiting for a moment of weakness on your part.
