I've seen too many people, too many times, acting all "proud" of themselves. You just pissed me off again. I had chilled, thanks to Cowgirl and some others. The reason I am so paranoid is my Mother was an alchoholic for 30+ years. And it killed her in January. I "ME", I was the one who found her. She had been sober for many years, but she laid on her living room floor with a gash in her head from a fall she took, and bleeding. I called 911. I sat there as they tried to revive her. She woke up for a little bit, and was looking into my eyes. I could see the fear in her. FEAR. She KNEW she was going to die. Right then, when I saw that look, I KNEW she dying too. She had had a stroke, brought on by years of drinking. And I was VERY hard on her about it. And me being Mr. Tough guy didn't do jack squat to help her by being rough. It was only after we (my brothers and I) pushed her for love, that she became sober. She went to meetings every week. Listen Kiwi, I had a TERRIBLE childhood. And yes, it did toughen me up, because I had no alternative. I had no father and a drunk mother. You grow up pretty quick that way. And I have gone on to be EXTREMELY successful. And I did it on my own. NOW, I am sick, unfortunately. Want to talk about being tough? How about being in a Doctors office and he tells you that you have a 50/50 chance of dying. I don't want to hear about back pain or tailbones. What I have is friggn serious stuff. Something that will KILL you. And it wasn't brought on by booze or pills or anything else. I (ya, me..Mr. Tough guy), had to pull over three times on the way home because I was sobbing. I had just lost my Mom, and this happens to me. Alright, I'm over it. I STILL don't know if I'm going to be alive in a year. But you know what? I came to understand people need compassion. People need REAL love. Not some snot nosed BS tough love stuff, because everyone is one pill, one drink, one joint away from relapse. And you Kiwi, are only a second away too. I don't care WHO you are, how long you have been sober. It dosen't matter. I'm probably not even an addict. BUT..in my head I am, and that means one thing..I AM...I was taking Xanax for a while and quit. And quitting that is WAY WORSE than quitting booze or pains pills. Read up on it. The Ashton-Tate Manual. I quit it because I knew I was addicted. Why do you think I am so paranoid about taking 3 Vicodins a day? AND, I did it in the hardest year of my life. So, am I a tough guy? You bet. Do I "hide" behind a computer and be tough, as you say? Well, I'll be tough to anyones face. I ain't got nothing to lose. DON'T pick on women that way though.
Danny chill hun its not good for ya (((((((hugs)))))))) having said that i bet it feels good to release eh? jackie xxxx
danny,
you know... this the the second or maybe fiifth time I have heard you really rag on people about tough love stuff.. I now I am getting a little pissed offf... You know my gig and my thinking ... First let me say I think you are a little confused about what the differences or should I say the degrees of tough love are... but you know what that is just gonna have to be...
but I must reinterate... helping someone to wallow arround in there addiction and not calling them on the crap... letting them hide ... and not trying to keep them honest.. not letting them have there consequences when everyone else in the world gets to have them just keeps them sick... and makes everyone else sick.... your case in point....and mine as well...
I am sorry cause this is gonna make you real mad at me again... and I really am saying this out of care and I am not a snob and I dont think that I have all the answers but I have been there and done all that... I think that you have real guilt issues over your mom and how you percieve that you might have done her some diservice in the way you 'handled' her and her drinking... I would really take a look at that and stop getting soooo defensive with others on here ....
you did this .... got really mad rather quickly on the tough love thread...about the same thing your mom... and now you have done it here jumping to the defense of jaz when I think that those two where having some semi- kind words to say about each other at the end....
I just want you to find some peace...
I know this will bring on a barage of attacks .. but I really am not interested in getting into a long debate on my issues ... I just thought I would try to show you how I see things from an objective observer as I dont have any strong feeling about any of the people involved in this on..... you are kiwi...
Teresa
you know... this the the second or maybe fiifth time I have heard you really rag on people about tough love stuff.. I now I am getting a little pissed offf... You know my gig and my thinking ... First let me say I think you are a little confused about what the differences or should I say the degrees of tough love are... but you know what that is just gonna have to be...
but I must reinterate... helping someone to wallow arround in there addiction and not calling them on the crap... letting them hide ... and not trying to keep them honest.. not letting them have there consequences when everyone else in the world gets to have them just keeps them sick... and makes everyone else sick.... your case in point....and mine as well...
I am sorry cause this is gonna make you real mad at me again... and I really am saying this out of care and I am not a snob and I dont think that I have all the answers but I have been there and done all that... I think that you have real guilt issues over your mom and how you percieve that you might have done her some diservice in the way you 'handled' her and her drinking... I would really take a look at that and stop getting soooo defensive with others on here ....
you did this .... got really mad rather quickly on the tough love thread...about the same thing your mom... and now you have done it here jumping to the defense of jaz when I think that those two where having some semi- kind words to say about each other at the end....
I just want you to find some peace...
I know this will bring on a barage of attacks .. but I really am not interested in getting into a long debate on my issues ... I just thought I would try to show you how I see things from an objective observer as I dont have any strong feeling about any of the people involved in this on..... you are kiwi...
Teresa
dan
oh and I do think you are very smart about the addiction thing... I dont know if you are an addict but I knew the risks by having a dad whos an alcoholic and I still took pills thinking that I was smarter... but guess what..
I wish I had been as strong as you and maybe I wouldnt have lost so much..
so contrary to what it may seem like ... I do have a world of respect for you and I hate the think of you in any pain..
Teresa
oh and I do think you are very smart about the addiction thing... I dont know if you are an addict but I knew the risks by having a dad whos an alcoholic and I still took pills thinking that I was smarter... but guess what..
I wish I had been as strong as you and maybe I wouldnt have lost so much..
so contrary to what it may seem like ... I do have a world of respect for you and I hate the think of you in any pain..
Teresa
Teresa - You are certainly right. I do have issues about my Mom. It has HAUNTED me. It wasn't until we actually showed her love did she straighten out, thats all. I tried the "tough love" stuff with her, and it just didn't work. And this was after she ignored myself and my brothers for many years. It dosen't work for some people. Love and compassion sends more people to recovery than being slapped around. I defend Jaz only because I don't like seeing guys taking a swing at women. I'd defend you too if some guy was being mean to you.
dan,
point taken and i appreciate it... I am sorry that you had such a difficult time of it... I hope that you can find peace .. I guess this in one issue that we will just have to agree to disagree on.. at least to some degree... I dont advocate meanness.... or hatefulness.. but I also know from my experience that if I hadnt had tough love I would still be using or dead....
Thanks for taking my words gently and not hitting me with a steel hammer...lol
Take care...
Teresa
point taken and i appreciate it... I am sorry that you had such a difficult time of it... I hope that you can find peace .. I guess this in one issue that we will just have to agree to disagree on.. at least to some degree... I dont advocate meanness.... or hatefulness.. but I also know from my experience that if I hadnt had tough love I would still be using or dead....
Thanks for taking my words gently and not hitting me with a steel hammer...lol
Take care...
Teresa
Dear dannyob343 I haven't really talk to you me being pretty new(11-04) but I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of all your troubles.I know you don't know me and I don't know you but if you feel the need to talk I will be a great listener.If you don't need to talk please just know my prayers are with you.....mollyjean
Guys, if I thought (at least in my little head), I'm dying, I would be running around like a maniac. Why would I care about a few pain pills. I'd take 'em by the dozen! hehe.. I guess I rationalize it buy talking myself into the fact that I won't die (at least not yet). Heck, I have 5 (ya..5) kids and they need me. So I ain't going ANYWHERE without a huge fight. When my wife found out about the chances, she went hysterical. But, I just told her "Don't worry..I'll be back in three days anyway"...Thats what calmed her down. She laughed and laughed. Sorry if the joke was in poor taste..I had to think of SOMETHING quick..
Hey Danny,
You have 5 kids or a 5 year old kid? You'll be fine Danny, Just tell your wife to keep the faith and trust in God. He won't take anyone home unless he is ready for us. I won't be going for a long time, lol.
Love,
Liz
You have 5 kids or a 5 year old kid? You'll be fine Danny, Just tell your wife to keep the faith and trust in God. He won't take anyone home unless he is ready for us. I won't be going for a long time, lol.
Love,
Liz
I have 5 rugrats..ranging in age from 19 all the way down to 2. So ya, I'm an idiot! Just what the heck I was thinking when I got into THAT mess, I'll never know. But I love them with all my heart and soul..and wouldn't trade 'em for the world.
wow, that's a lot of kids, lol. My brother has 5 kids too. 3 are grown now. It's nice though. Except when you think about weddings and colleges. lol. Do they all live home with you? I would had loved to have had more kids. Just couldn't afford anymore.
Liz- ya they do. My oldest, a girl, is driving me nuts with the boyfriend thing. Then my two boys, who are 18 and 16..well they are boys and I'm not letting them get away with ANYTHING..then I have a four year old who is such a "little Mommy" type..very caring and stuff..and a two year old girl who..ahh..let's just say a "work in progress"..she is too much like her Dad...and obviously a "Daddies girl"..
I am going to jump in here. Tough love is one thing. Helping people see how they are keeping themselves stuck through their own attitudes and self pity is great for addicts, but out and out rudeness through moral superiority is really unneeded here.
I have really learned not to make judgements in this world because unless you have walked in a person's shoes, you really have no idea what has happened or how it felt. I have learned that once I pass judgment, I usually end up with a lesson in that same situation; judge not lest ye be judged....
I hate self righteous addicts; there is nothing worse than a recovering dickhead. I often wonder if some people don't have just the disease of alcholism, but assholeism as well.....
And I mean that,
Kerry
I have really learned not to make judgements in this world because unless you have walked in a person's shoes, you really have no idea what has happened or how it felt. I have learned that once I pass judgment, I usually end up with a lesson in that same situation; judge not lest ye be judged....
I hate self righteous addicts; there is nothing worse than a recovering dickhead. I often wonder if some people don't have just the disease of alcholism, but assholeism as well.....
And I mean that,
Kerry
Kerry- U and I seem to see eye to eye on a lot..except..uh..SNOW!!!!
Danny sounds like you really have your hands full there. A lot of people don't like the two year old stage, the terrible twos. But I love it. I miss it so much. I love when they are so small and follow you around the house. Teens I think are harder. It's like they hit the terrible twos again, lol. Anyway, have fun with them. I don't need to tell you how fast time flies and they will all be grown before you know it.
Love,
Liz
Love,
Liz
Liz- I know. It seems like yesterday when my 19 year old was a baby..then I went through the whole "I HATE YOU" routine, when she was around 14. I have a soft spot for my girls, so I know I'm in big trouble..I'm going to be like WAY TOO OLD to deal with it..hehe..now my boys, they are straight shooters..only because I was very hard on them when they were younger...I'm way too easy on my girls and way to hard on my boys..only because I'm a guy and really don't know any other way. 'Cept I'm starting to ease up on the boys too. I just watch em like a hawk, because I KNOW what I did...
LOL Danny, Isn't it funny how we watch our kids like a hawk because we don't want them to do as we have? I'm lucky though, my daughter, who is 16 now, won't even try a drink or anything. She was turned off from seeing me that way. Scared her big time. Now my 9 year old son has no memory of me being messed up on anything so that worries me about what he might try someday. He likes to impress so I really hope he doesn't try and be a big shot some day at a party or anything.
See, my youngest is already going to be 10 years old soon. My babies are almost grown. The years went fast with my daughter. My only problem with her is her mouth sometimes. She likes to get argumentive, lol. I don't know where she gets that from. My son is also starting to get that way. Argggg, I really miss age 2.lol. Terrible twos were so much easier.
See, my youngest is already going to be 10 years old soon. My babies are almost grown. The years went fast with my daughter. My only problem with her is her mouth sometimes. She likes to get argumentive, lol. I don't know where she gets that from. My son is also starting to get that way. Argggg, I really miss age 2.lol. Terrible twos were so much easier.
Well going to watch Frosty the Snowman with my son and do some arts and crafts. We're decorating pine cones, lol. Hope everyone has a great night. Danny, Kids will want to watch Frosty, LOL. Have a great night.
Love,
Liz
Love,
Liz
She's only argumentive because in fact, she IS 16..think back about how you were. I know how I was when I was 16. I knew everything. Now I know I don't know much..yep- watch that son. In my case, the boys were WAY harder..they get all cocky and stuff and these goofy male hormones go into overdrive...my daughter did have a slight problem about 2 years ago, for all of 20 minutes until I found out. I caught her drinking some wine. She's 100% one of the best, most loving, brightest kids around, and if I caught her doing anything else, I'll "brain her" so to speak. And believe me, if anyone knows the "signs" it's me..But she's great..needs better grades in college, but I'm not doing her homework..
What I want to know if why all you people started taking drugs in the first place?
