I havent mentioned anything about this. It is a personal issue ,hard to talk about ,and I(we) really dont know much yet.
My G/F of 15 years(we been living with each other for 12) has been having some serious female problems.
Now ,she is one of these people who doesnt go to doctors and doesnt get check ups for years at a time. Well- a pain in her side and a puss discharge scared her enough into a few appointments.
The news ,although nothing is final yet is scary and discouraging. It seems that after a battery of ,blood tests,cat scans,x-rays,ultrasounds,colon and intestine exams that have checked everything in her digestive system& tests that I cant even pronounce ,never mind spell, show a tumer has formed on her cervix.
It seems that a simple pap smear could have caught things earlier but I guess thats water under the bridge at this point. I cant really get into all the details and results but she(we) are terrified that this might be malignant,not benign.
She has a family history of women problems.mainly ovarian ,but like I said all test and results arent in yet-
As a guy who has NO knowledge of any of these things I feel lost. Even though we,ve been together so long it is a uncomfortable thing to talk about. Although our conversations have been more open over the last 2-3 weeks.
The last 3 weeks ,even though I have good insurance through my job, has also been financially draining. Scripts and radiology are the bulk ,but at this point money cant be a problem even if I have to empty my 401K.
I dont even know why I mention it here- -it not a recovery or drug abuse issue,but I feel you guys are the most supportive I know .
She would be really mad if she knew I was putting our private business on the internet,but I really needed to vent a bit.
Anyway thats whats going on . Dealing with life on lifes terms without the drugs (with something as potentionally serious as this) is a new thing for me
She puts on a brave act- and I try to but until we know for sure which way this is going ,the stress is over the top.
OK-its after 5 am- we havent slept to well the last few weeks-
At least its the weekend and we dont have to go to work and try and focus on our jobs.
Thanks for listening, and now that I started, and brought this up. I,ll probably be looking for advise on how to act or react from time to time
muchlove to all
jack
Oh Jack I am so sorry........you know you come to this place because we're people that have some damn compassion.....we're caring people by nature, and often I think that has something to do with our drug use in the first place... may be a cop out, and one of those things like........your pain is my pain.....I feel peoples pain more than others......sounds selfish, but honestly I think even our family on the family board will tell you their loved ones are dear hearts.....of course until we became the ME ME ME addicts.....LOL......so you posting that means you needed someone to listen you can trust.
I'm praying the tumor is not cancerous.......I also hope they told you guys that it's a way high chance it will not be.......still it's such a frightening thing to go through........not needing a cervix is a given......so removing that itself won't physically change anything and have it be catastrophic, but the fear of cancer is awful.......as women we always have in our minds that those organs define us as women.......which is BS......in my opinion it's just like an incubator, and a bunch of other stuff we don't need past child bearing.
I spent alot of time in a fertility clinic......before that since I was 16 constant operations.........the fertility clinic though was daily.
I learned alot going to that place.......there's also now a great big thing about the HPV virus.......how it causes cancer in women........it's been around forever so I don't know why NOW they have these commercials.....OH wait talk about capatilism..........there's a VACCINE.......knew it had to be money related...then when they come out for new meds for breast cancer same thing.....pharmaceuticals........at least we have them though.
You're a good man, Jack......you are also compassionate.......plus with our father's, brother's, lovers us ladies have trouble discussing anything female related.......also scarry is the medical treatment we receive......just look at the word HYSTERectomy.......pointing out we're all a bunch of hysterical females.
Honest to goodness that still holds true today........even with the advance in medical practices.......along with so many more female Doctors......so it may be engrained.......in all of us ladies.
Jack, I had a hysterectomy at 32.........life long problems.........six operations, and what had to be at least thirty laparoscopies.......I had the complete one....I didn't care what the heck they took as long as I was free of pain.......that's different than what your girlfriend is going through...........there's some great advanced technology out there now........some fabulous Doctors......the point is she went and explained her symptoms.......I actually bet she's had a lot more pain than now.......and either tried to blow it off or got the brush off from the Doctors........not related to this tumor, but these are organs they can't see physically so we make them up in their mind.......again with the hysterics.
I am so praying for your girlfriend.......to love you for 12 years......and for you to love her she has to be an awesome woman........you're a wonderful man.
I can only say for you to ask her if she wants to talk about it.....you are there, and if she doesn't want than respect that.......I'm praying it is non-cancerous.
I'm praying she will not worry if they remove her cervix......it's kind of useless.
I will pray she hangs tough, but allows herself to cry if need be......we know that it's bad not to be able to do that.........and most of all she sees you're right there, and yep it's life, but it's a scarry life........and another reason to thank God you are clean and sober so you can be there completely.
Right now I would make it all about her.......I am so sorry you guys have to endure this, and I hope none of this post was offensive.......oh, and I hear ya about privacy.......LOL.......I have a mom like that........can't tell anyone anything if it's in regards to a health matter...........she believes that makes the "Crepe Hangers" come out........LOL.......creap or craype.......well anyway the pity party people who like to hear about illness, and have you down on your luck, and needing them to listen and bleed their ear......me I say tough......I'll tell whoever I want.......our emotions do us in for sure.
I missed you Jack.......PLEASE let us know how she is doing......if I knew I could have told you what 90% of those tests are for, and how they work.....I know I wished when I went through that stuff someone would have warned me or eased my mind..........it may not seem right.........the good thing is they found it..........now you guys can prepare for the next part, and a long, long life together......sitting side by side in rocking chairs....just being old.
I know that's how it will be..........I'll tell the Blessed Mother that when I go light a candle......make Jack's woman get past this real quick, and a speedy recovery, and let them be old folks together.
YOU hang on too Jack.......she needs you. I hope she got some sleep at least.
You also.......Jack, do you know there are men out there who would have went right to sleep.........wouldn't worry........you're the best......just that in itself will help her that you care and are awake with her.
I'm praying the tumor is not cancerous.......I also hope they told you guys that it's a way high chance it will not be.......still it's such a frightening thing to go through........not needing a cervix is a given......so removing that itself won't physically change anything and have it be catastrophic, but the fear of cancer is awful.......as women we always have in our minds that those organs define us as women.......which is BS......in my opinion it's just like an incubator, and a bunch of other stuff we don't need past child bearing.
I spent alot of time in a fertility clinic......before that since I was 16 constant operations.........the fertility clinic though was daily.
I learned alot going to that place.......there's also now a great big thing about the HPV virus.......how it causes cancer in women........it's been around forever so I don't know why NOW they have these commercials.....OH wait talk about capatilism..........there's a VACCINE.......knew it had to be money related...then when they come out for new meds for breast cancer same thing.....pharmaceuticals........at least we have them though.
You're a good man, Jack......you are also compassionate.......plus with our father's, brother's, lovers us ladies have trouble discussing anything female related.......also scarry is the medical treatment we receive......just look at the word HYSTERectomy.......pointing out we're all a bunch of hysterical females.
Honest to goodness that still holds true today........even with the advance in medical practices.......along with so many more female Doctors......so it may be engrained.......in all of us ladies.
Jack, I had a hysterectomy at 32.........life long problems.........six operations, and what had to be at least thirty laparoscopies.......I had the complete one....I didn't care what the heck they took as long as I was free of pain.......that's different than what your girlfriend is going through...........there's some great advanced technology out there now........some fabulous Doctors......the point is she went and explained her symptoms.......I actually bet she's had a lot more pain than now.......and either tried to blow it off or got the brush off from the Doctors........not related to this tumor, but these are organs they can't see physically so we make them up in their mind.......again with the hysterics.
I am so praying for your girlfriend.......to love you for 12 years......and for you to love her she has to be an awesome woman........you're a wonderful man.
I can only say for you to ask her if she wants to talk about it.....you are there, and if she doesn't want than respect that.......I'm praying it is non-cancerous.
I'm praying she will not worry if they remove her cervix......it's kind of useless.
I will pray she hangs tough, but allows herself to cry if need be......we know that it's bad not to be able to do that.........and most of all she sees you're right there, and yep it's life, but it's a scarry life........and another reason to thank God you are clean and sober so you can be there completely.
Right now I would make it all about her.......I am so sorry you guys have to endure this, and I hope none of this post was offensive.......oh, and I hear ya about privacy.......LOL.......I have a mom like that........can't tell anyone anything if it's in regards to a health matter...........she believes that makes the "Crepe Hangers" come out........LOL.......creap or craype.......well anyway the pity party people who like to hear about illness, and have you down on your luck, and needing them to listen and bleed their ear......me I say tough......I'll tell whoever I want.......our emotions do us in for sure.
I missed you Jack.......PLEASE let us know how she is doing......if I knew I could have told you what 90% of those tests are for, and how they work.....I know I wished when I went through that stuff someone would have warned me or eased my mind..........it may not seem right.........the good thing is they found it..........now you guys can prepare for the next part, and a long, long life together......sitting side by side in rocking chairs....just being old.
I know that's how it will be..........I'll tell the Blessed Mother that when I go light a candle......make Jack's woman get past this real quick, and a speedy recovery, and let them be old folks together.
YOU hang on too Jack.......she needs you. I hope she got some sleep at least.
You also.......Jack, do you know there are men out there who would have went right to sleep.........wouldn't worry........you're the best......just that in itself will help her that you care and are awake with her.
Susan
Thank you so much for the positive vibes. Sandy(G/F) is not the most positive person in the world. There have been times these last few weeks Ive wanted to say encourageing things, but being so uninformed -Im hesitant to say anything. I want to re-assure her that this (even if it is serious) isnt a death sentence.
She has been so good to me ,and to a child that isnt hers for the last 15 years that I wish I could just say the right things to take all the worry and stress away.
I want to figure a way to show her your post- without her knowing I pasted her problem on the internet. I guess she would understand, Im just looking for someone that maybe has gone thru this already to help me understand a little better.
Like Ive said -I dont want to make this into a personal thing thats not about my recovery and progress in the fight against drugs. However,its easy to slide back when we think we are given a situation we cant handle without drugs to numb out any feelings.
Like my Mom has been saying- "take it one step at a time" it can be overwelming. Besides there is still the chance that its not as bad as we think.
blessyou
love jack
Thank you so much for the positive vibes. Sandy(G/F) is not the most positive person in the world. There have been times these last few weeks Ive wanted to say encourageing things, but being so uninformed -Im hesitant to say anything. I want to re-assure her that this (even if it is serious) isnt a death sentence.
She has been so good to me ,and to a child that isnt hers for the last 15 years that I wish I could just say the right things to take all the worry and stress away.
I want to figure a way to show her your post- without her knowing I pasted her problem on the internet. I guess she would understand, Im just looking for someone that maybe has gone thru this already to help me understand a little better.
Like Ive said -I dont want to make this into a personal thing thats not about my recovery and progress in the fight against drugs. However,its easy to slide back when we think we are given a situation we cant handle without drugs to numb out any feelings.
Like my Mom has been saying- "take it one step at a time" it can be overwelming. Besides there is still the chance that its not as bad as we think.
blessyou
love jack
Jack u r in r hearts,
I am so sorry to hear about your gf...i like her have been extremely negligent in having the usual 'womanly' tests over the years...mammograms pap smears...and i have yet to get tested after having unprotected sex with the ex bf (even tho' it was over 4 months ago)..but knowing that he has Hep C..is probably back on the needle and had dumped me for another woman (sexual running partner as you once speculated).
Let me deal with you as a recovering addict and tell you a story about me as a recovering alcoholic/pot head going on 19 years 4 months plus clean.
I think i mentioned in the past that my youngest brother who no longer could deal with his own addiction...jumped to his death...although he hung on for about 2 weeks before he died.
I was in a VA Halfway House at the time not even a year clean...and although i am not a recovering heroin addict....let me tell you i was a very bad drunk and attempted suicide twice before i hit my bottom and put the cork in the bottle and flushed the joint down the 'john'.
My brother was 29 at the time and he was my favorite brother and was responsible for putting me on the road to my own recovery. I needed special permission from the VA shrink to visit him while he lay dying and to subsequently attend his funeral afterwards in Queens NYC (where we all were born and raised).
When i returned to the Halfway House many of my friends there marveled (and these were some hard core Vietnam Vets heroin addicts) that i didn't pick up and flee in my grief...never to return to the VA or sobriety again.
I knew dear Jack back then as i still know today that relapsing would not have altered the course of events...nor bring my brother back and i probably would not be alive today to be telling you all this...
I don't ramble on here to imply that your gf's tumor implies the possible clanging of the death knell....and although i don't know her personally she shall be in my prayers.
We are your 'family' here...you are our beloved 'brother' and Bryn..myself and others your 'sisters and brothers'...holding each other's hands in this unbroken circle of strength and friendship. Unfortunately you cannot fully control the future of your gf's illness but you can control the nature of your own 'disease'....
you must LIVE life on life's terms
luv ya MARY (DOH!!)
I am so sorry to hear about your gf...i like her have been extremely negligent in having the usual 'womanly' tests over the years...mammograms pap smears...and i have yet to get tested after having unprotected sex with the ex bf (even tho' it was over 4 months ago)..but knowing that he has Hep C..is probably back on the needle and had dumped me for another woman (sexual running partner as you once speculated).
Let me deal with you as a recovering addict and tell you a story about me as a recovering alcoholic/pot head going on 19 years 4 months plus clean.
I think i mentioned in the past that my youngest brother who no longer could deal with his own addiction...jumped to his death...although he hung on for about 2 weeks before he died.
I was in a VA Halfway House at the time not even a year clean...and although i am not a recovering heroin addict....let me tell you i was a very bad drunk and attempted suicide twice before i hit my bottom and put the cork in the bottle and flushed the joint down the 'john'.
My brother was 29 at the time and he was my favorite brother and was responsible for putting me on the road to my own recovery. I needed special permission from the VA shrink to visit him while he lay dying and to subsequently attend his funeral afterwards in Queens NYC (where we all were born and raised).
When i returned to the Halfway House many of my friends there marveled (and these were some hard core Vietnam Vets heroin addicts) that i didn't pick up and flee in my grief...never to return to the VA or sobriety again.
I knew dear Jack back then as i still know today that relapsing would not have altered the course of events...nor bring my brother back and i probably would not be alive today to be telling you all this...
I don't ramble on here to imply that your gf's tumor implies the possible clanging of the death knell....and although i don't know her personally she shall be in my prayers.
We are your 'family' here...you are our beloved 'brother' and Bryn..myself and others your 'sisters and brothers'...holding each other's hands in this unbroken circle of strength and friendship. Unfortunately you cannot fully control the future of your gf's illness but you can control the nature of your own 'disease'....
you must LIVE life on life's terms
luv ya MARY (DOH!!)
Uhhhh, Jack I am not Susan......LOL......although I take that as a huge compliment.........I am not worthy to even try and touch being the kind, awesome, loving, compassionate lady she is.
I think you looked at the avatar because her and I are the little irl/redhead one.
I even see that avatar nd think "Wait I don't remember posting on that thread"
Hang tough, Brother.......like Mary said you are loved by us.
I think you looked at the avatar because her and I are the little irl/redhead one.
I even see that avatar nd think "Wait I don't remember posting on that thread"
Hang tough, Brother.......like Mary said you are loved by us.
Hi Jack,
You don't know, she won't know until the tests all come back.
I more then understand how scary this all is. I worry for you as I watched my husband look at me with such fear in his eyes that something bad would be wrong.
I so worry for her as I know exactly where she is now, and it isn't nice, especially the waiting. You so just want to know. And them what if's play.
The word, that 'C" word is used.
You see the doctors, listen to them, and they at times make it all so much more scary.
I went 2 months, waiting with a rad 4 mammo, and lumps no one could feel, and test, after test with these nervous people who said one thing and rushed me somewhere else to find out that thankfully everything was fine. This might have been the first time I was ever scared for me. I missed sometime in the worry, can't be perfect, but I learned that no matter what today is the most important as even if we are well that doesn't mean that there is a tomorrow for us.
Try to keep it all in perspective, even the worst case means nothing more then well there is a fight that needs to happen. Medicine has gotten so far advanced that good outcomes are standard now.
Be good to you, and to her and hold her hand and make her feel safe....
It was the best thing my husband could ever do, was just be there, nothing more was really needed
I will keep her in my prayers, and you as well.
Love,
Tina
You don't know, she won't know until the tests all come back.
I more then understand how scary this all is. I worry for you as I watched my husband look at me with such fear in his eyes that something bad would be wrong.
I so worry for her as I know exactly where she is now, and it isn't nice, especially the waiting. You so just want to know. And them what if's play.
The word, that 'C" word is used.
You see the doctors, listen to them, and they at times make it all so much more scary.
I went 2 months, waiting with a rad 4 mammo, and lumps no one could feel, and test, after test with these nervous people who said one thing and rushed me somewhere else to find out that thankfully everything was fine. This might have been the first time I was ever scared for me. I missed sometime in the worry, can't be perfect, but I learned that no matter what today is the most important as even if we are well that doesn't mean that there is a tomorrow for us.
Try to keep it all in perspective, even the worst case means nothing more then well there is a fight that needs to happen. Medicine has gotten so far advanced that good outcomes are standard now.
Be good to you, and to her and hold her hand and make her feel safe....
It was the best thing my husband could ever do, was just be there, nothing more was really needed
I will keep her in my prayers, and you as well.
Love,
Tina
Jack, my prayers are with you and your gf...I hope God gives the two of you the strength and determination to deal with this illness...
I love you sweety!
I love you sweety!
Byrn-
Yeah I probably looked at that red-headed atavar. -but- dont kid yourself you or susan -doesnt matter-'I meant the same to whoever wrote that reponse. Im not surprised at all to see it was you.
I guess you can tell that Im kind of out of it. Im not slowing things down ,and taking sh*t a little at a time-(even if its to see who is responding)
thanks so much my friend- (for straightening me out * making me realize to look before I act
mucho love!!!!!!!!!
jack
Yeah I probably looked at that red-headed atavar. -but- dont kid yourself you or susan -doesnt matter-'I meant the same to whoever wrote that reponse. Im not surprised at all to see it was you.
I guess you can tell that Im kind of out of it. Im not slowing things down ,and taking sh*t a little at a time-(even if its to see who is responding)
thanks so much my friend- (for straightening me out * making me realize to look before I act
mucho love!!!!!!!!!
jack
Jack,
I too know this fear of the not knowing, the waiting, the worrying. This summer has been a nightmare of doctors, tests, waiting, more tests, more waiting. Had a physical in June, went in feeling like a million bucks, came out thinking I need to get my affairs in order. After the immediate shock wore off, I allowed myself a day to really sit on my pity pot. Did all the worst case scenarios, the what ifs, all the future tripping. But, then I made the decision to just do the things I needed to do, take it one day at a time, and deal with the results as they continue to come in. And I thank my higher power, that everything has been good so far.
Let her talk about it if she wants to, or just be quiet if she wants. Let her know that you are there for her. Offer to take her to appointments, talk to the doctors with her, or just be there to hold her hand. Or, if she wants to do these things alone, let her do that also. Myself, I tend to keep quiet, and wanted to do things alone, unless I needed to have my husband drive me because I was going to be knocked out. Guess in my mind, I needed to be able to process things, before I would tell him about it, to try to soften the blow, just in case. Another thing I would do is to stay off the internet researching the symptoms until you get confirmed results. You know me, with this need to know thing, I scared myself silly.
Its so very important, especially for us women to do those yearly checkups. Yes, they are uncomfortable, and quite humiliating. Medicine has come such a long way, bad results are no longer an immediate death sentence. Treatments are not as harsh as they use to be. But, prevention and early detection gives us the best fighting chance.
Jack, both you and your girlfriend are very much in my prayers. Please keep us posted as to how she is doing, and how you are dealing. Youre a special guy.
Love,
cynical
I too know this fear of the not knowing, the waiting, the worrying. This summer has been a nightmare of doctors, tests, waiting, more tests, more waiting. Had a physical in June, went in feeling like a million bucks, came out thinking I need to get my affairs in order. After the immediate shock wore off, I allowed myself a day to really sit on my pity pot. Did all the worst case scenarios, the what ifs, all the future tripping. But, then I made the decision to just do the things I needed to do, take it one day at a time, and deal with the results as they continue to come in. And I thank my higher power, that everything has been good so far.
Let her talk about it if she wants to, or just be quiet if she wants. Let her know that you are there for her. Offer to take her to appointments, talk to the doctors with her, or just be there to hold her hand. Or, if she wants to do these things alone, let her do that also. Myself, I tend to keep quiet, and wanted to do things alone, unless I needed to have my husband drive me because I was going to be knocked out. Guess in my mind, I needed to be able to process things, before I would tell him about it, to try to soften the blow, just in case. Another thing I would do is to stay off the internet researching the symptoms until you get confirmed results. You know me, with this need to know thing, I scared myself silly.
Its so very important, especially for us women to do those yearly checkups. Yes, they are uncomfortable, and quite humiliating. Medicine has come such a long way, bad results are no longer an immediate death sentence. Treatments are not as harsh as they use to be. But, prevention and early detection gives us the best fighting chance.
Jack, both you and your girlfriend are very much in my prayers. Please keep us posted as to how she is doing, and how you are dealing. Youre a special guy.
Love,
cynical
Dear Jack,
I am SO SORRY to hear this. It really hit home because I am just like your girlfriend. I have this fear of going to the doctors and put it off to the MAX. I almost didn't accept my job at the school district when they told me I had the job but I needed to get a physical! I hadn't been to the doctor's for about 18 years at that point! I don't know why we (those who don't like to go to the doctor's) play games with our lives. I just know I'm going to end up dying of something earlier than I need to. I really need prayer to overcome my fear and I truly don't know why I have it.
I will pray for God to touch Sandy with his healing hand and for wisdom and guidance for her doctors to restore her to health. The best thing you can do for her is to let her know that regardless of what is ahead you love her and you'll be there for her. SHE NEEDS YOU more than ever right now. That is why you have to continue to stay strong against your addiction so that you can be the support she DESPERATELY needs right now. I will pray for you as well. I'm sure she's an amazing lady if she's been your girlfriend for 15 years!!! Pray for her unceasingly because the prayers of our loved ones are the most powerful. You will also get some peace from it because you will get some assurance that you are helping her (although you feel helpless) and that she is in the caring and loving hands of our precious God. I will pray for good test results. God bless!
Love,
Susan
I am SO SORRY to hear this. It really hit home because I am just like your girlfriend. I have this fear of going to the doctors and put it off to the MAX. I almost didn't accept my job at the school district when they told me I had the job but I needed to get a physical! I hadn't been to the doctor's for about 18 years at that point! I don't know why we (those who don't like to go to the doctor's) play games with our lives. I just know I'm going to end up dying of something earlier than I need to. I really need prayer to overcome my fear and I truly don't know why I have it.
I will pray for God to touch Sandy with his healing hand and for wisdom and guidance for her doctors to restore her to health. The best thing you can do for her is to let her know that regardless of what is ahead you love her and you'll be there for her. SHE NEEDS YOU more than ever right now. That is why you have to continue to stay strong against your addiction so that you can be the support she DESPERATELY needs right now. I will pray for you as well. I'm sure she's an amazing lady if she's been your girlfriend for 15 years!!! Pray for her unceasingly because the prayers of our loved ones are the most powerful. You will also get some peace from it because you will get some assurance that you are helping her (although you feel helpless) and that she is in the caring and loving hands of our precious God. I will pray for good test results. God bless!
Love,
Susan
Man the news just keeps getting more murky. When we found out about the tumer ,the lab suggested that she also get a mammogram. -So she did. Well yesterday the doctor called her at work and broke the news that there is a cyst in her left breast. Now it could be nothing - just a cyst,but with a tumer going on below and now this -the stress and fear of the unknown is getting tense.
Sandy is freaking out & Im trying to be the calming factor in this whole thing,I really am but its getting more difficult. I try and tell her no matter whats going on ,we,ll take care of it - one thing at a time.
I wish they would just admit her into the hospital for a few days so they could take all the tests and blood they need. This running from doctor to lab to radiology back to doctor ..etc.. etc.. is insane. Sometimes I think that its all about billing the insurance company for every dime they can,& they really dont put the patients best interest ahead of the dollar factor. Hows that for cynical ,Cynical One??
Today she is staying home from work. The last few days it has become inpossible for her to concentrate. She works in the same place I do,but in a different dept. The last few days(week) we been spending more time together at that place then we have in the 5 years she,s been there.
Our employer have been understanding ,however because she doesnt drive -if we cant make any of these appointments for after work or Saturdays ,i have to leave whenever she needs a ride to get there.
OK- let me try and relax for a bit. I sincerly want to thank ALL of you guys for your show of love & concern. The information and personal experiances you share is not anything that I can get anywhere else and feel secure and comfortable with.
Ill check in again when we find out more.
much love and thank yous
jack
Sandy is freaking out & Im trying to be the calming factor in this whole thing,I really am but its getting more difficult. I try and tell her no matter whats going on ,we,ll take care of it - one thing at a time.
I wish they would just admit her into the hospital for a few days so they could take all the tests and blood they need. This running from doctor to lab to radiology back to doctor ..etc.. etc.. is insane. Sometimes I think that its all about billing the insurance company for every dime they can,& they really dont put the patients best interest ahead of the dollar factor. Hows that for cynical ,Cynical One??
Today she is staying home from work. The last few days it has become inpossible for her to concentrate. She works in the same place I do,but in a different dept. The last few days(week) we been spending more time together at that place then we have in the 5 years she,s been there.
Our employer have been understanding ,however because she doesnt drive -if we cant make any of these appointments for after work or Saturdays ,i have to leave whenever she needs a ride to get there.
OK- let me try and relax for a bit. I sincerly want to thank ALL of you guys for your show of love & concern. The information and personal experiances you share is not anything that I can get anywhere else and feel secure and comfortable with.
Ill check in again when we find out more.
much love and thank yous
jack
Dear Jack,
She is VERY BLESSED to have your love and support. You're doing GREAT and I'm VERY PROUD of you for appearing strong to her during this very difficult time. Keep coming back here and verbalizing your feelings/fears. It will help you to get them out.
I want to share a little story with you (that is true so help me God) that shows that God is active in his healing ministry.
A friend of my sister was pregnant with a change of life baby. Early on the doctors said that test results showed problems and did an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed a growth on the baby's neck and the doctors pushed her for months to have an abortion. They told her that to carry the baby was very selfish of her because the baby would suffer each and every day of her life. This woman was being tortured by the doctors because she was very much against abortion. My sister read in the church bulletin that there was going to be a Charismatic Healing Mass nearby and encouraged her friend to go and offered to go with her for support. She did.
Her friend shared that she felt touched by God when she attended and she had renewed strength to get through the rest of her pregnancy in a much more peaceful state of mind. When her baby was born (Maria), she had NO GROWTH on her neck and a tiny little mark where it had once been. She was perfectly normal in every way. She is now in her late teens or early twenties. Thank God for answered prayers!
Love,
Susan
She is VERY BLESSED to have your love and support. You're doing GREAT and I'm VERY PROUD of you for appearing strong to her during this very difficult time. Keep coming back here and verbalizing your feelings/fears. It will help you to get them out.
I want to share a little story with you (that is true so help me God) that shows that God is active in his healing ministry.
A friend of my sister was pregnant with a change of life baby. Early on the doctors said that test results showed problems and did an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed a growth on the baby's neck and the doctors pushed her for months to have an abortion. They told her that to carry the baby was very selfish of her because the baby would suffer each and every day of her life. This woman was being tortured by the doctors because she was very much against abortion. My sister read in the church bulletin that there was going to be a Charismatic Healing Mass nearby and encouraged her friend to go and offered to go with her for support. She did.
Her friend shared that she felt touched by God when she attended and she had renewed strength to get through the rest of her pregnancy in a much more peaceful state of mind. When her baby was born (Maria), she had NO GROWTH on her neck and a tiny little mark where it had once been. She was perfectly normal in every way. She is now in her late teens or early twenties. Thank God for answered prayers!
Love,
Susan
Update- The 1st step was today.
Sandy went for her colonoscopy ,they removed 3 cysts from her intestines. . Ive read that almost all the time these things are benign. So that was the good news for the day. After that preperation yesterday -thank God! For those of you who know what you have to do to get ready for that precedure ,you know what Im talking about.
Now the next deal --is the tumer on the cervix . The doctors are confident now and that makes us feel better.
Step 3- is the removal of the cysts on the breast. -At least the ball is rolling ,so we both feel a little better -(so far)
Again thanks for all your concern and prayers
love Jack(& Sandy- I told her I put her medical news on this site- & she was OK with it)
Sandy went for her colonoscopy ,they removed 3 cysts from her intestines. . Ive read that almost all the time these things are benign. So that was the good news for the day. After that preperation yesterday -thank God! For those of you who know what you have to do to get ready for that precedure ,you know what Im talking about.
Now the next deal --is the tumer on the cervix . The doctors are confident now and that makes us feel better.
Step 3- is the removal of the cysts on the breast. -At least the ball is rolling ,so we both feel a little better -(so far)
Again thanks for all your concern and prayers
love Jack(& Sandy- I told her I put her medical news on this site- & she was OK with it)
Jack, my prayers are still with you and Sandy. I had a cyst removed from my breast and though I was hysterical it turned out to be nothing. I hope that y'all get the same good news.
Hey Jack My poker partner.
I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend. I know how important it is to go have those annual checkups.
(if there are any stubborn women reading this that just doesn't want to go to an OBGYN appt....it's not like people who do go LIKE it...it can be a matter of life and death people!!!)
I went regularly, always normal paps, and then bam! Found out I had Cancer cells on my cervix, had to go in and get a chunck of it burned off...it could have developed into cancer...then i might of had to get a hysterectomy at 22 years old... HPV, that's what I got... (thanks hubby!)
Jack, everyone is so right, your gf is a lucky one to have you!
Love
stac
I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend. I know how important it is to go have those annual checkups.
(if there are any stubborn women reading this that just doesn't want to go to an OBGYN appt....it's not like people who do go LIKE it...it can be a matter of life and death people!!!)
I went regularly, always normal paps, and then bam! Found out I had Cancer cells on my cervix, had to go in and get a chunck of it burned off...it could have developed into cancer...then i might of had to get a hysterectomy at 22 years old... HPV, that's what I got... (thanks hubby!)
Jack, everyone is so right, your gf is a lucky one to have you!
Love
stac
Hi Jack, so sorry I haven't been around - dealing with my own very dull problems, I'm afraid. But I ain't about to launch them on you now, my good buddy, so relax! I ain't gonna speculate on the nature or prognosis of your girlfriends health worries. Time will tell, and that's that. But whatever the outcome, the absolutely most important thing is doing what you're doing. All us girls know how utterly useless men are when it comes to saying the right thing at the right moment, so in all honesty we don't worry about it, so neither should you. As long as she knows you love her, that's the best you can do. Don't torture yourselves wondering about the what if's. You just have to take each problem and deal with it as it arises. Just like you have been doing. Try and do some things you both enjoy together. Just going out for a bit of fresh air, or to have breakfast at your favourite cafe. And try and take the positive out of each situation. I know that most people have a bit of a hard time getting their heads round that one, but just about any situation can have some sort of positive. I try and look at things in reverse, like William Burroughs backward analogy "You never know what pleasure is until you are really junk-sick". You never value something more then when you are in fear of losing it, so don't let that feeling slip by unnoticed. Immerse yourself in it, and treasure each stab of pain, coz that's when you know you can feel, and for us addicts, it's a sensation that we are unused to dealing with. But that pain is telling you that you are living, and you're clean and you're the best that you can be. Be grateful for the feelings of love that wash over you, because that's what the pain is. It's your love for her speaking to you. She's bound to be afraid, and all you can do is be with her, to make her feel like she is not alone, and you'll be beside her all the way, no matter where life takes you both.
Jack, I'm conscious that I'm starting to sound a bit Holy Moly weirdo. Me and my home grown philosophy (greatly enhanced by a bit of homegrown of a different variety, no doubt... uck! I keep doing it! Keep forgetting that I'm a drug addict posting on a drug addict message board!). When things get tough for me, and I wonder how I'm going to cope (and Jack, although I hope and pray that your girlfriend has nothing serious wrong with her, and she sails through all this with flying colours, my primary concern will always be you, because you're my friend, and I know that us junkies (meant in the same way as a brother may call himself a nigger ie. it's fine to say it about yourself, but not as an offence to somebody else) have particular problems dealing with s*** like this). Anyway, coping, I look back at other tough times and I ask myself how I got through it, and what worked. You get through it by knowing who you are and what your beliefs/values are, and drawing on them. The gem that I hang onto is that pain is the most direct route to understanding, and understanding is the key to dealing with life. So when it hurts, it's doing me good! I'm getting wiser! So welcome it, and reach out to what it is trying to teach you. One thing that you must already know is that you will never take her for granted again. Life was never meant to be easy, and you and I never chose an easy way round in our lives, so in theory we should be veritable guru's of wisdom by now! Ha! Don't forget how laugh either.
love
Diff xxxx
Jack, I'm conscious that I'm starting to sound a bit Holy Moly weirdo. Me and my home grown philosophy (greatly enhanced by a bit of homegrown of a different variety, no doubt... uck! I keep doing it! Keep forgetting that I'm a drug addict posting on a drug addict message board!). When things get tough for me, and I wonder how I'm going to cope (and Jack, although I hope and pray that your girlfriend has nothing serious wrong with her, and she sails through all this with flying colours, my primary concern will always be you, because you're my friend, and I know that us junkies (meant in the same way as a brother may call himself a nigger ie. it's fine to say it about yourself, but not as an offence to somebody else) have particular problems dealing with s*** like this). Anyway, coping, I look back at other tough times and I ask myself how I got through it, and what worked. You get through it by knowing who you are and what your beliefs/values are, and drawing on them. The gem that I hang onto is that pain is the most direct route to understanding, and understanding is the key to dealing with life. So when it hurts, it's doing me good! I'm getting wiser! So welcome it, and reach out to what it is trying to teach you. One thing that you must already know is that you will never take her for granted again. Life was never meant to be easy, and you and I never chose an easy way round in our lives, so in theory we should be veritable guru's of wisdom by now! Ha! Don't forget how laugh either.
love
Diff xxxx
And Jack, I hesitate to mention this, but on the subject of laughter in the face of adversity, quite recently a friend of mine passed away. She was mortally ill, and her boyfriend and her brother were fussing round her bedside, asking if there was anything they could do to help, to make her more comfortable etc. She took off her oxygen mask and turned to face them, grinned at them and said "Yeah, you can uck off!" Moments of humour in dark times are like when the sun breaks through the clouds on a stormy day. Make sure you have room for laughter, and don't worry if its inappropriate, as long as you and your good lady find it funny.
I wouldn't say that to just anybody, but you know me well enough to know that I'm a straight shooter, and I can't be doing with beating about the bush. It's hard to know what the right thing to say is, in a situation like yours, but the truth is there is no right thing to say, coz nothing said will alter the outcome. That is in the hands of the gods, and one thing I'm damned sure of is I don't have a hotline to the Almighty, so I may as well say what I mean!
love as always, plus an extra "lump" for good measure...
Diff xxxx
I wouldn't say that to just anybody, but you know me well enough to know that I'm a straight shooter, and I can't be doing with beating about the bush. It's hard to know what the right thing to say is, in a situation like yours, but the truth is there is no right thing to say, coz nothing said will alter the outcome. That is in the hands of the gods, and one thing I'm damned sure of is I don't have a hotline to the Almighty, so I may as well say what I mean!
love as always, plus an extra "lump" for good measure...
Diff xxxx
Alright...Jack.im afraid in a reverse agewise i know exactly how you feel...my mum had a cancerous growth on one of her breasts&she unfortunatly had to have a major removal op....but she only had me(14)&my bro (12)..to look out for her..my dad was never about.We tried to be big boys..but really got lost in the hospital/waiting/tests...timewarp.Thats 23yrs.ago&shes well sprightly..she stayed strong..throught with two ejits for sons.Things sound like you&yer lady are gonna be moving towards positive outcome also..your a tough bloke..i think ..resolvewise..keep it up..but mate those hospitals&the jargon can be mindbending.My regards to you both..take care...Davey
Hang on Jack.......hang tight.......she needs you.
Prayers every night for you guys.
Colonoscopy..........that's a fun one......drinking that green bottled sodium whatever it's called.
Cystic breasts........almost never cancerous, but they keep you worrying.
I have never had a mamogram, and if they yell at me one more time I'm telling them where to go..........I swear they LOOK for stuff.
Vaginal ultrasound..........D&C...........laporoscopies.........my favorite is the laparotomy...........I rather get cut the hell open than those laporoscopies.....if she needs that they pump a ton of air in ya so they can see all the organs.....well the air then hits your shoulders, and joints......a cut, and a ton of stitches for me was always easier............Oh, and God FORBID they want to do a uterine biopsy...................they do it right in the office.......they go right on up, and snare some tissue from the uterus.
THAT.................I honestl recommend opiates before she goes for that.....some assistant holds your hand, and a long wire goes up, and they punch a piece of the uterus.............this was before I did drugs, and I flipped out......they should warn you on that test.
Not trying to scare you, but I think knowing others who have went through all those tests helps.............I wish I had known someone who would have told me........GIRL UTERINE BIOPSY YOUCH..........it's going to be O.K., Jack.
I know it is.........hold on, pal.
Prayers every night for you guys.
Colonoscopy..........that's a fun one......drinking that green bottled sodium whatever it's called.
Cystic breasts........almost never cancerous, but they keep you worrying.
I have never had a mamogram, and if they yell at me one more time I'm telling them where to go..........I swear they LOOK for stuff.
Vaginal ultrasound..........D&C...........laporoscopies.........my favorite is the laparotomy...........I rather get cut the hell open than those laporoscopies.....if she needs that they pump a ton of air in ya so they can see all the organs.....well the air then hits your shoulders, and joints......a cut, and a ton of stitches for me was always easier............Oh, and God FORBID they want to do a uterine biopsy...................they do it right in the office.......they go right on up, and snare some tissue from the uterus.
THAT.................I honestl recommend opiates before she goes for that.....some assistant holds your hand, and a long wire goes up, and they punch a piece of the uterus.............this was before I did drugs, and I flipped out......they should warn you on that test.
Not trying to scare you, but I think knowing others who have went through all those tests helps.............I wish I had known someone who would have told me........GIRL UTERINE BIOPSY YOUCH..........it's going to be O.K., Jack.
I know it is.........hold on, pal.
Hello again Folks
Stac-
thanks for checking in- and your sooo right , you women should go for those tests as often as your suppossed to. Every doctor said the same thing. Stuff can be caught early and save a mess of trouble. Thanks for your encouraging words. >and take care of yourself ! and just because we got dealt a few lousy cards doesnt mean sh*t until ya fold em up.- lovejack
Diff-
You dont know how glad I am to hear from you. What you have been going through with your ex is nothing short of the definition of compassion & qualifys you to speak on the subject with authority.
We have two more growths to deal with now- the tumer on her cervix & the lump in a breast. What scares us,and concerns the doctors is her family history. Genitics play such a big role in this sh*t its scary. Thats one thing you cant do anything about.
We are taking it slower now than we were a few weeks ago. When we 1st heard all this news it was overwelming,now its become easier to take things as they come and not to think the worst.
This kind of stuff does get you to think about your mortality though.Thats could be tough for a drug addict who,s hopes and dreams have been altered because of thier addiction.
Not that I dwell on that stuff- we do have it pretty good & are aware of how lucky we are to have each other. She really went through some ups and downs with me and hung in there. She isnt an addict,but growing up she certainly did her share. Again maybe its those damn genes!
Im certain she could have done better- maybe its all that charm of mine(lol)
Anyway, I hate to sound like an advertisment for the health channel,but any test that could be taken to that works toward early detection is a good thing. As I hit 50 this summer,I really am starting to get it! I know that once she gets cleared(& I hope and pray she does)- then it should be my turn to take all the tests that guys should. I can understand a running dope fiend blowing all this off,but someone who has arrested thier habit ,has good health insurance should absolutely use it!
OK- I have to go- thank you so much for your love and sincere concern
love
your friend
jack
Oh and Davey- you call me one tuff bloke?? It sounds like your one of the toughest!!- thanks my bud
jack
Stac-
thanks for checking in- and your sooo right , you women should go for those tests as often as your suppossed to. Every doctor said the same thing. Stuff can be caught early and save a mess of trouble. Thanks for your encouraging words. >and take care of yourself ! and just because we got dealt a few lousy cards doesnt mean sh*t until ya fold em up.- lovejack
Diff-
You dont know how glad I am to hear from you. What you have been going through with your ex is nothing short of the definition of compassion & qualifys you to speak on the subject with authority.
We have two more growths to deal with now- the tumer on her cervix & the lump in a breast. What scares us,and concerns the doctors is her family history. Genitics play such a big role in this sh*t its scary. Thats one thing you cant do anything about.
We are taking it slower now than we were a few weeks ago. When we 1st heard all this news it was overwelming,now its become easier to take things as they come and not to think the worst.
This kind of stuff does get you to think about your mortality though.Thats could be tough for a drug addict who,s hopes and dreams have been altered because of thier addiction.
Not that I dwell on that stuff- we do have it pretty good & are aware of how lucky we are to have each other. She really went through some ups and downs with me and hung in there. She isnt an addict,but growing up she certainly did her share. Again maybe its those damn genes!
Im certain she could have done better- maybe its all that charm of mine(lol)
Anyway, I hate to sound like an advertisment for the health channel,but any test that could be taken to that works toward early detection is a good thing. As I hit 50 this summer,I really am starting to get it! I know that once she gets cleared(& I hope and pray she does)- then it should be my turn to take all the tests that guys should. I can understand a running dope fiend blowing all this off,but someone who has arrested thier habit ,has good health insurance should absolutely use it!
OK- I have to go- thank you so much for your love and sincere concern
love
your friend
jack
Oh and Davey- you call me one tuff bloke?? It sounds like your one of the toughest!!- thanks my bud
jack
