Liz.......

Pain Pills
1
Liz,
My intentions, reguardless of what you might think were good. I was hoping it might in some way help you look at what your doing to yourself.
Instead your slander of me shows me you do not welcome help or helpful criticism. You have said some awful things, some of which were removed. I cannot get upset over it for I have been guilty of doing the same as well out of anger. It's never my intent to hurt anyone, but I have been known to jump to conclusions. As I've learned to except the consequences of my actions, I pray that you too will benifit from the wrongs you've done by learning from them.
The difference is I'm clean and sober and should know better. Your still using
and still feel your right. So go ahead and say what you will, maybe someone is being left alone that couldn't handle it.
I sure wasn't attacking your situation with your son. I was hoping you would realize that while your upset not seeing him, when you did have him, you spent your time here instead of quality time with him. Then you came on here saying how fast the visit was. It's none of my business, I apologize. I was just saying to you what has been said to me in the past. It opened my eyes I was hoping the same for you is all.
I won't bother trying to help you any more. It seems what I said, you took as an attack. It wasn't meant to be that way.
I'm sorry and will from now on just focus on the people trying to get and or stay
clean and sober.
But if your so upset about not having custody, your unwillingness to get clean
and do what ever it takes is sad.
If your not willing to do something to change your situation, then quit complaning
about it. Thats what I was told, It's not an attack it's something to look into.

Take care..................................God bless...........................................Bob
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Bob and marie,
bob...I agree 100%.... and for my part in being taken the wrong way marie I will appologize to some degree for your hurt feelings but the general gist of my message remains unchanged...
I have spend alot of time on the pitty pot.... when in jail... in divorce court... while losing my home packing it up .... watching the repo man take my car... talking to the nursing board and all... so I know all about being sorry and guulty and shame... but there will come a time when we all have to take responsiblity for our using and the loses it causes and move on ... but you have to choose ... to use or not.. both choices take work... it was hard work getting my drugs and using and keep secrets ... and recovery is hard work...
I learned not to bite the hand that feeds me and the defensiveness melts away...
you have only to answer to God for yourself .... I wish you luck with that and all...
I too am like bob .... I will not be able to offer you anything just yet as I am constantly misunderstood and as I have feelings too. surley you can see that it would be detrimental to my recovery to hold resentments and continuing anger...
so that is all that i have to say...
I took what you said and applied it as it applied ... I have learned what I can do and obviously cant do... and let the rest go.... (gee what a wonderful concept)..
I am a great person and truely want to help ... I mean no harm and certainly dont want to hurt anyone....
Bob i am with you... I knew exactly what you meant and how you meant it...
Good luck to you all
Teresa.
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Bob, how would you know how long I'm on here when my kids are here? First of all I come in while my son is out playing, check the post. I may post and I jump off again. Who are you to accuse me of not spending time with my kids?

I don't need to explain myself to you either. I doubt very much in AA they walk around taking everybody's inventory and smacks them with any dirt they can dig up on somebody. Just stop the games. I don't believe for one moment that your intentions were a good one.

Liz
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Theresa Do me a favor, Don't talk to me. I'm not all interested in hearing your story.

Liz not Marie... See maybe that is where you went wrong? Probably reading somebody elses post. LOL. Just please don't talk to me again.
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Ok, maybe I'm butting in here, but here goes. I am completely neutral on this because I'm where Liz is at yet want very badly want what Bob and Theresa have and this is what I'm basing my point on. The reason I can understand Bob and Teresa so well is because I've read, read, and read some more the things that they say, where they've been, what they've done and where they're at now. Even though I continue to make my half assed attempts, I'm not completely clean yet, but I get angrier and angrier and more determined each time, so I suppose thats a step in the right direction.
Liz, I've read your posts for a long time too, talked to you via this board in fact and you have a huge chip on your shoulder. When your told something you want to hear, its cool, when not, you blow up. Teresa has written to you many, many times with advice you'd probably pay $75 an hour for thru a drug counselor, why do you think she does it? To practice her typing? (not that she couldn't use a little practice) , kidding T. No, she does it because she cares. She's done the jail thing custody, money thing, everything and look at where she is now.
As far as Bob, he would never steer anybody wrong, he's not that way. But he realizes first hand that this is no joke Liz, its a life and death matter, and maybe thats why he doesn't p**** foot around. He's to the point and tells it like it is. I think there are attacks going on, but I think your attacking him. Let it go. If you want recovery, listen more, read more and try to refrain from treating people like crap who are only trying to help you.
Roseanne
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Yea Roseanne,

Please stay out of it. It's not that I sit here waiting for what I want to hear. They butted in where they shouldn't had and it was non of their business. As this is really non of yours. I am letting it go. As I had said, I don't want to hear their stories. I am not interested in somebody who tries to find some dirt to smack me with. So, with all due respect, You let it go. Thank you.

Liz
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Ok,
But I'll still be here for you....
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liz,
I appologize for gettting you confused with marie... my bad.. but I assure you the message is the same..
per your own admission ...' I dont want to her their stories.. ' and as directed directly at me.. ' I am not interested in hearing your story..' well if this doesnt say it all... thank you for clearing it up ....liz.. as it appears that all this attention to you and your issues of custody and using and blah blah ... has been a colossal waste of my time.... as well as most other on here.... you dont have to worry as you can ask questions until you are blue and I wont respond... not until you show some REAL. interest in getting clean.....
as far as your person issues you think as being attached...me thinkest the lady protest too much,,, nerves are a Bi*** when they are hit arent they...
so have no fear... you wont here from me... or my brand of recovery... good luck in the deep end of the pool....
Teresa

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
the courage to change the things I can .....
and the WIDSOM to know the difference.... ( ie.. this situation)
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oh and roseanne
thanks for making an attempt as clarifying... I appreciate your words and as always look forward to hearing what ever you have to say.... even if it is contrary to my position (clearly this case wasnt though...) God Bless you...
and btw... my typing really does need some word... i type like I talk ...lol....
Love
Teresa
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Thanks Theresa, You not posting to me is the best thing I have heard you say yet. Far as me asking questions, I don't think I've asked you any and believe me I won't start to either. You really need to get off that pedastool you're sitting on. The higher you are the harder you will fall. When I post to somebody, do me a favor, don't read it. For it's not your business anyway. Thank you.

Liz
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This got lost in another thread...

"Though we did not like their symptoms and the way
these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.
We asked God to help us show them the same TOLERANCE,
PITY, and PATIENCE that we would cheerfully grant a sick
friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This
is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me
from being angry. Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation or arguement. We wouldn't treat sick
people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being
helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least
God will show us how to take a KINDLY and TOLERANT view
of EACH and EVERY one.
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Thanks Deb.
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did you or did you not ask for the "old timers" to voice thier input on this site? you even started a thread for this reason. last week you even posted a thread that nobody was posting to your other threads? now when people DO post and some of the "old timers" give you some input you become defensive????? you even post things like "They butted in where they shouldn't had and it was non of their business" sorry liz if it is your buisness to post your concerns that other people have the right to respond to what you write. you may not like what is said but it is someone's right to respond to any post that is listed here. i realize that you are suffering but you are also not listening (reading) what is being said to you.


EarthDog
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....and you thought you were ignored and invisable before. Wow, good luck getting any real help on this board from now on. You've burned more bridges than anyone I've ever seen.

What a shame. You have so much to learn and so far to go. Doing it on your own is really going ot suck.
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First of all Dog, I did not ask for help for me. I said they should help the new people coming in here. I don't consider their attacks as help. Far as bridges burned here. I have friends here. I don't need these people or you. Also I have people outside of these threads that are more then willing to help me. Not a big deal about a few that seem to have a problem. RaeRae first of all I'm not usually here day in and day out. I have a job that I would be at right now if I hadn't gotten a ride home in a tow truck last night. If you people think you are going to chase me out of here, well I'm sorry but you will be very dissappointed.

Liz
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Besides Dog, what have I ever done to you? Or you RaeRae or anybody else here? All I was trying to do is help the new people that come in here. If you had read my post you would had known that I have been tapering off with the pills, doctors order. So I really don't know where you people come off with that I'm not doing something about my addiction. I really think you were all waiting to jump in on a band wagon to attack me. From this point on though I will be ignoring you all, I won't be responding to anymore critisims of me. I know who I am and what I do here. I don't need to defend myself. People who are my true friends here don't attack me every chance they can get. So everybody. Just please have a nice day. I know I am. :o)

Liz
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now that was a bit unkind. regardless of what some of may or may not think, liz is still suffering. she may upset some of us at times with her post and we may not understand why she is posting certain things but being unkind is no solution. liz before those bridges catch on fire think a bit more about what you are trying say here and try not to become so defensive when people are giving their feedback to you.
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Point is Dog, The people I am talking to know exactly what I am saying. Why is this such a big concern of yours? Do you have a job? How much clean time do you have by the way?

Liz
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PLEASE STOP THIS INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Too bad..because this is a recovery board and your focus is not on recovery. It seems to be on making as many enemies as you can.

Do you really want to get clean? Ask yourself that honest question and see what you come up with.

L.