This is just a thought for everyone that has a heart that's ever been broken or that is super sensitive and gets hurt easily. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to see that you are hurting Liz. Now maybe is the time to calmly let people know why you are having such a difficult time.
Yesterday there were major changes of heart and attitudes. Real progress made here...I'm very hopeful that it was genuine. Now is the time that we can all put into practice the fine art of forgiveness, understanding and just lending support when someone needs a shoulder to cry on.
The Liz I know is really a very nice person. She's caring, loving, considerate and helpful, just to name a few. The side of Liz that lashes out when she feels she's been wronged is not that much different than some of the others that I've seen here with lots of sobriety success under their belts! We all have a breaking point! I know that you don't need me to speak for you Liz, you do a fine job of doing that for yourself, but I just feel like maybe it's time for a go-between. Someone who is good at moderation! A lawyer maybe??? hmmm?
I'm not the person that has the answers as to the steps that need to be taken to begin to start the healing process here between Liz and those that have wronged her and visa-versa, but perhaps if we could put our heads together we could all work together and come up with some positive ideas.
Liz is worth it. We all are. Not gonna throw her over the bridge and be done with her just because she's being a bit of a pain at the moment!! (Sorry Liz :-) ) She's calling out for help. It's obvious...huh Liz? Am I wrong? If I am, Ok. I'll just keep it to myself. If not, then lets move forward and try to heal the wounds, ok? Remember what you quoted yesterday Cowgirl? "You make it impossible for me to love you?" you thought about it all day long! It's true, you were right.
I know I just came forward yesterday, but the people that reached out to me were so warm and genuine and kind that I can't believe that those same people would sit by and let someone hurt themselves and not do anything to stop it.
(I don't mean physically hurt themselves, socially hurt themselves)
I want you to find peace Liz, I want you to have a safe place to fall, but I also want this to be a place for the others when they come here, that they also have a safe place to fall, that they don't have to run and hide when they see you coming, that they see the real Liz...not the "other" Liz. Please show that side of yourself to everyone here. She's so cool.
Lets just move forward, ok?! I want to see you happy.
Hey Clancy,
Yes I can be a pain, but only when push comes to shove. I'm learning to just let some things slide. Obviously it's not always easy for me to do. I just don't like to see other people getting hurt. Some just can't understand that. Even when I was a kid in school. I would always stick up for the kid that was getting bullied. We are all adults here and it shouldn't be happening. Anyway, thank you for your kind words. Have a nice day,
Love,
Liz
Yes I can be a pain, but only when push comes to shove. I'm learning to just let some things slide. Obviously it's not always easy for me to do. I just don't like to see other people getting hurt. Some just can't understand that. Even when I was a kid in school. I would always stick up for the kid that was getting bullied. We are all adults here and it shouldn't be happening. Anyway, thank you for your kind words. Have a nice day,
Love,
Liz
Liz
That was the first thing I noticed about you...was how you always stood up for the underdog....***warm fuzzies for Liz everyone****!! That is one of your strong points! You are certainly a loyal to the core friend I'm sure!
I think you're just frustrated that people don't see how sweet you really are. I know that I can only take so much until I snap, and then look out! You don't want to be near me! I've had to learn to walk away when that happens. And if you ask my husband, during certain days every month, him walking away was the only thing that saved our marriage!!!! haha!
Keep talking, it will do you good! Spill girl
Hey Thanks Clancy,
I think I spilled enough for one day, haha...Anyway, Just keep talking. People love hearing you. You are a wise, caring person. We all love ya. That is one thing we all seem to agree upon. :o)
Love,
Liz
I think I spilled enough for one day, haha...Anyway, Just keep talking. People love hearing you. You are a wise, caring person. We all love ya. That is one thing we all seem to agree upon. :o)
Love,
Liz
I've said enough for one day too kid...I think given a little time and a change in attitude, everyone will be just fine. Maybe another time you will feel more like opening up and sharing. We will all be here for you when that day comes.
Takecareayou!
Clancy
clancey,
well, you have hit alot of things right on the head and i wont for obvious reasons elaborate on which so I will leave it at that.... as far as who is hurting let me just say that there are several on here that are hurting and a select few dont have the market cornered on hurt and pain and just because we choose not to reach out and hurt others does not mean that we dont have feelings too...
there have been some on here that have tried to help as best we can not because we have wanted or invited the ritcual that it has brought but because we care. Be that as it may, it obviously has taken this to teach me a leason. so it is time to take yet another break.
Bob, I am sooo sorry but i am confused and you know why.... wont go any farther with that....
I am left questioning my own approach to people and that is just not good for my recovery... I think it is time to move on and stick to the face to face ... and let those that need ... well what ever they need and dont get from me... get it from others.. as for those of you that is going to give it to them, good luck!.... but let me say one thing that maybe a little harsh .. when this mean and nastiness happens again.... and again.. and it will ... trust me... I want those of you that said ,,, things like poor baby and oh no... you dont really mean to be hateful... to think about all this...and why I left. I told you so.
I used alot but i was never given free reign to be that way.. but yet again accountabity is a touchy issue in recovery isnt it.
I dont mean to make anyone mad or upset , there has been enough of that for everyone... I just feel I have the right to express my opinion as others have been given card blanche to express there opinion no matter who it hurts.. I has been implied that I and others. have been unsympathetic and down right mean, well you wont have to worry about that from at least that for awhile. I will tell you I am hurt and feel unappreciated. I dont want great accalades but I have just too many slaps on in face. I have done what I feel was right and because I am a little different in my way, I get put down....... Well I have my recovery, I have done the hard work... I have my f2f... I really can do with out this board.
I hope to come back. I have enjoyed some. I wish the new ones well.
good luck to all...
Teresa
well, you have hit alot of things right on the head and i wont for obvious reasons elaborate on which so I will leave it at that.... as far as who is hurting let me just say that there are several on here that are hurting and a select few dont have the market cornered on hurt and pain and just because we choose not to reach out and hurt others does not mean that we dont have feelings too...
there have been some on here that have tried to help as best we can not because we have wanted or invited the ritcual that it has brought but because we care. Be that as it may, it obviously has taken this to teach me a leason. so it is time to take yet another break.
Bob, I am sooo sorry but i am confused and you know why.... wont go any farther with that....
I am left questioning my own approach to people and that is just not good for my recovery... I think it is time to move on and stick to the face to face ... and let those that need ... well what ever they need and dont get from me... get it from others.. as for those of you that is going to give it to them, good luck!.... but let me say one thing that maybe a little harsh .. when this mean and nastiness happens again.... and again.. and it will ... trust me... I want those of you that said ,,, things like poor baby and oh no... you dont really mean to be hateful... to think about all this...and why I left. I told you so.
I used alot but i was never given free reign to be that way.. but yet again accountabity is a touchy issue in recovery isnt it.
I dont mean to make anyone mad or upset , there has been enough of that for everyone... I just feel I have the right to express my opinion as others have been given card blanche to express there opinion no matter who it hurts.. I has been implied that I and others. have been unsympathetic and down right mean, well you wont have to worry about that from at least that for awhile. I will tell you I am hurt and feel unappreciated. I dont want great accalades but I have just too many slaps on in face. I have done what I feel was right and because I am a little different in my way, I get put down....... Well I have my recovery, I have done the hard work... I have my f2f... I really can do with out this board.
I hope to come back. I have enjoyed some. I wish the new ones well.
good luck to all...
Teresa
Treasa,
What a good and honest post and you hit it right on the nail. Please don't leave over this, the mods will straighten it out soon. We are in chat if you can join us.
What a good and honest post and you hit it right on the nail. Please don't leave over this, the mods will straighten it out soon. We are in chat if you can join us.
Theresa,
I think you took what I said totally the wrong way...I certainly did not mean to say that you or anyone else were mean! I see that so many of you have always tried and tried to help many! I think, if you were referring to my post, that you took it personally and that was not my intent. I was only trying in the only was that I know...which is I guess the baby way, to help. I realize that it's probably not the way that is taught, but it is the only way that I know to help hurting people take baby steps, then they will learn to do the walking. .
And I also realize that everyone here is hurting! That's the whole point isn't it? I really meant well and probably said stupid rookie things that touched a nerve. I warned ya that I would do stupid things! :-)
What I said about helping with Liz's issues, I also mean regarding yours and anyone elses. We all count. I guess I just expect too much from people sometimes without thinking it through. If I had thought for one second that what I said would push you out the door, I assure you I would not have said anything, or at least would have said it differently!
One day and I'm already on the poo list! Wouldn't surprise my kids at all, trust me! I will have to learn to say the words "I apologize" more than ever if I am to ever survive here. Like I said I think I expect too much too fast, always have, must work on that...people move at their own speed in their own time in their own way and I shouldn't try to impose my methods and time limits on anyone. A thousand apologies!
I'll just learn to speak when spoken to! I think that's probably the best! Don't you worry about you...youre fine. I'm the one that just needs to slow down! Sorry for my over-excitement! I need to spend more time in the dugout before I take my turn at bat!! You just don't worry about a thing and stay right where you are, you're doing great and I will not be a part of messing up anyones recovery that's for sure!
God bless you all!
Clancy
I think you took what I said totally the wrong way...I certainly did not mean to say that you or anyone else were mean! I see that so many of you have always tried and tried to help many! I think, if you were referring to my post, that you took it personally and that was not my intent. I was only trying in the only was that I know...which is I guess the baby way, to help. I realize that it's probably not the way that is taught, but it is the only way that I know to help hurting people take baby steps, then they will learn to do the walking. .
And I also realize that everyone here is hurting! That's the whole point isn't it? I really meant well and probably said stupid rookie things that touched a nerve. I warned ya that I would do stupid things! :-)
What I said about helping with Liz's issues, I also mean regarding yours and anyone elses. We all count. I guess I just expect too much from people sometimes without thinking it through. If I had thought for one second that what I said would push you out the door, I assure you I would not have said anything, or at least would have said it differently!
One day and I'm already on the poo list! Wouldn't surprise my kids at all, trust me! I will have to learn to say the words "I apologize" more than ever if I am to ever survive here. Like I said I think I expect too much too fast, always have, must work on that...people move at their own speed in their own time in their own way and I shouldn't try to impose my methods and time limits on anyone. A thousand apologies!
I'll just learn to speak when spoken to! I think that's probably the best! Don't you worry about you...youre fine. I'm the one that just needs to slow down! Sorry for my over-excitement! I need to spend more time in the dugout before I take my turn at bat!! You just don't worry about a thing and stay right where you are, you're doing great and I will not be a part of messing up anyones recovery that's for sure!
God bless you all!
Clancy
Clancy-
I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. I'm Marie. I saw your other post where you asked about me and said that you have followed througout my path to recovery. Well I'd like to thank you so much. It is so obvious what a kind and caring person you are. I'm so happy that you are here.
I, too, care very much about Liz. If people go back and read what this girl has been through in her life they might think again about knocking her. I know we have all been through alot - and I'm not looking to "start up" anything here - especially since I just got back :o)
I know that alot of you out there go by the "Big Book" - yes, I've been to A/A meetings and N/A meetings. Well I also go by the other big book - the Bible. And I believe there is somewhere in there that says to "forgive and forget"?
Hey, Liz and I even had our little "dispute" when she first came to this board. We both said things that we didnt mean. But she was nice enough to "forgive and forget" and get on with it. I know some people have more problems than others. Just remember that. I've seen so many write that if you dont like what youre reading than just keep going. Well, than do it.
There have been plenty of arguments on here and for the most I just try to ignore them.
Sorry, Clancy - this post was meant to introduce myself to you - then I started rambling on. Thanks for caring and being here. Hope to chat with you more later.
Love,
Marie
I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. I'm Marie. I saw your other post where you asked about me and said that you have followed througout my path to recovery. Well I'd like to thank you so much. It is so obvious what a kind and caring person you are. I'm so happy that you are here.
I, too, care very much about Liz. If people go back and read what this girl has been through in her life they might think again about knocking her. I know we have all been through alot - and I'm not looking to "start up" anything here - especially since I just got back :o)
I know that alot of you out there go by the "Big Book" - yes, I've been to A/A meetings and N/A meetings. Well I also go by the other big book - the Bible. And I believe there is somewhere in there that says to "forgive and forget"?
Hey, Liz and I even had our little "dispute" when she first came to this board. We both said things that we didnt mean. But she was nice enough to "forgive and forget" and get on with it. I know some people have more problems than others. Just remember that. I've seen so many write that if you dont like what youre reading than just keep going. Well, than do it.
There have been plenty of arguments on here and for the most I just try to ignore them.
Sorry, Clancy - this post was meant to introduce myself to you - then I started rambling on. Thanks for caring and being here. Hope to chat with you more later.
Love,
Marie
clancey,
no dont give it another thought... I to have been through the mill.. I will survive this. The hurt feeling and misunderstandings will mend. If I misunderstand you then it will become apparent. But as I said, you will see for your self what other have seen.
I never said that Liz or anyone else is a bad person. No matter what garbage she trys to feed herself and others. That is a reality of her own making. No one is against her until she provokes it. She has in the past asked for help and when it is given in a honest way she 'slaps' the person who offers it if it is not what she wants to hear. But you will see. Here little goodbye on the other thread should be an indication.
I have dealt with many in varing stages of recovery but at no point do they have no responsibly for what they say. Accountabity starts at home. But everyone just starts to appologize for themselves and she never says 'I'm sorry' no matter what she says. Has she never said anything to be at least a little bit appologic for? I only bring that up to show how everyone gets so caught up in being called on the carpet that she never gets held accountable..Even the moderators cant do anything. She has thrown that at them. But again you will see.
However, I need to try to help myself now. No one will do that for me.
God Bless you as you endevor to help those here.
Teresa
no dont give it another thought... I to have been through the mill.. I will survive this. The hurt feeling and misunderstandings will mend. If I misunderstand you then it will become apparent. But as I said, you will see for your self what other have seen.
I never said that Liz or anyone else is a bad person. No matter what garbage she trys to feed herself and others. That is a reality of her own making. No one is against her until she provokes it. She has in the past asked for help and when it is given in a honest way she 'slaps' the person who offers it if it is not what she wants to hear. But you will see. Here little goodbye on the other thread should be an indication.
I have dealt with many in varing stages of recovery but at no point do they have no responsibly for what they say. Accountabity starts at home. But everyone just starts to appologize for themselves and she never says 'I'm sorry' no matter what she says. Has she never said anything to be at least a little bit appologic for? I only bring that up to show how everyone gets so caught up in being called on the carpet that she never gets held accountable..Even the moderators cant do anything. She has thrown that at them. But again you will see.
However, I need to try to help myself now. No one will do that for me.
God Bless you as you endevor to help those here.
Teresa
I don't know about this board, but here the local punks pick fights with each other, fight, and then they are the best of friends and would kill for each other the next week...
GO FIGURE...
kerry
GO FIGURE...
kerry
Teresa,
Hi dear, Gina told me about what you guys were talking about, and I wanted to tell you I know what you mean. As far as me taking what you said the wrong way, of course not, you don't have to be worried about me being upset with you,
never. Well talk later, I think Gina told you my folks are here and when they leave we'll be in chat. I just wanted to stop by real quick and say hi, I didn't want you worrying all night wondering. As far as my approach is concerned, I'll talk to you about it later, until then, have a great night and relax..........*wink*
Love ya' see ya' around 8 or 9, hope thats a good time for you, maybe I'll call ya'.
Take care...................................God bless.........................................Bob
Hi dear, Gina told me about what you guys were talking about, and I wanted to tell you I know what you mean. As far as me taking what you said the wrong way, of course not, you don't have to be worried about me being upset with you,
never. Well talk later, I think Gina told you my folks are here and when they leave we'll be in chat. I just wanted to stop by real quick and say hi, I didn't want you worrying all night wondering. As far as my approach is concerned, I'll talk to you about it later, until then, have a great night and relax..........*wink*
Love ya' see ya' around 8 or 9, hope thats a good time for you, maybe I'll call ya'.
Take care...................................God bless.........................................Bob
YES YOU can get very dizzy from b\p being hihe go to dr NOW NOW PLEASE I HAVE IT I GOT DIZZY THINKING IT WAS THE PILLS BUT IT WAS MY B\P PRESSER BEING TO HIGE AND I WAS OFF THE PILLS.LOVE YSPEARING
