It's been some time since I've been in the relationship with my xa but still i try to have a better understanding today not only of myself but also of the addict .. we still have a child together and will forever have some contact .. Still there are days it is harder than others to let go of my resentments .. I've been through so much healing and am a forever alanoner and yet I can never get enough light shed in the dark areas ..
If anyone is willing to share the truth of why they use, please share with me .. thanks ..
why I use?
hmmm, there are many reasons.
1. genetics- my dad was addict and I feel passed it to me, once I tried heroin I was hooked.
2. low self esteem- I hate myself so I use, so in turn I hate myself because I use
3. I like how I feel when high. even clean I miss the high
4. I use just because
5. stress, I have no coping skills, I used during all important development periods as teen so even in my 30s I cope like a 15yr old
6. no dire consequences- everyone bails me out, over and over.
7. enabling is my best way to survive as an addict, my parents, family, ect.... always enable me to use. pay my bills, bail me out jail, watch my kids, feed me shelter me, buy cars when I get f**ked up and total it. ect...
I could keep going, but i'm sure you see my point
raerae
hmmm, there are many reasons.
1. genetics- my dad was addict and I feel passed it to me, once I tried heroin I was hooked.
2. low self esteem- I hate myself so I use, so in turn I hate myself because I use
3. I like how I feel when high. even clean I miss the high
4. I use just because
5. stress, I have no coping skills, I used during all important development periods as teen so even in my 30s I cope like a 15yr old
6. no dire consequences- everyone bails me out, over and over.
7. enabling is my best way to survive as an addict, my parents, family, ect.... always enable me to use. pay my bills, bail me out jail, watch my kids, feed me shelter me, buy cars when I get f**ked up and total it. ect...
I could keep going, but i'm sure you see my point
raerae
