As im on a bit of a downer right now i thought i would write away and try to solve a few things lol.
Ive often wondered what will people think about me when im gone?
jolly jackie, dependable jackie, helpfull, honest, relible, voice of reason,
I want my head stone to read like this.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
I WAS THERE FOR YOU,
I CHERISHED YOU,
AND CHEERED YOU UP
WHEN YOU WERE DOWN,
BUT PLEASE REMEMBER,
THAT I HAD PROBLEMS,
HENCE
TEARS OF A CLOWN.
jacqueline xx
Hey Jacky.
How about this:
YOU'RE HERE FOR US.
WE CHERISH YOU.
YOU CHEER US UP.
YOU'RE NEVER DOWN.
YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS THAT CAN'T BE FIXED.
ONE HAPPY CLOWN.
HENCE
LIFE CAN BE GOOD, IF YOU LET IT.
You make a difference. I've read your posts and you've helpled me.
Thanks.
Hawk
How about this:
YOU'RE HERE FOR US.
WE CHERISH YOU.
YOU CHEER US UP.
YOU'RE NEVER DOWN.
YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS THAT CAN'T BE FIXED.
ONE HAPPY CLOWN.
HENCE
LIFE CAN BE GOOD, IF YOU LET IT.
You make a difference. I've read your posts and you've helpled me.
Thanks.
Hawk
I sorry you're in a funk. I can relate.
I think this is a great exercise:
Mine:
IF MY WIFE WRITES IT
Smells better (now that he's dead)
Good at cleaning the fridge (out)
Calm (can sit on the couch all day)
Patient (up until he's T-ed off)
Stong will (as long as there is no temptation)
Honest (when quiet)
MY VERSION
Kind to children
Made the world better
Bizarre sense of humor
Was facinated by life
Loved poetry
Procrastinator (not dead yet)
I think this is a great exercise:
Mine:
IF MY WIFE WRITES IT
Smells better (now that he's dead)
Good at cleaning the fridge (out)
Calm (can sit on the couch all day)
Patient (up until he's T-ed off)
Stong will (as long as there is no temptation)
Honest (when quiet)
MY VERSION
Kind to children
Made the world better
Bizarre sense of humor
Was facinated by life
Loved poetry
Procrastinator (not dead yet)
jax...we love you...thanks for cheering us up..
kerry
kerry
Hawk thx sweetheart you to mr fish lol. the point of this for me was too get people thinking about the silent signs in someones life, its not all about what you read or hear sometimes we need to tap into someones heart and not settle for answer we want to hear when asking are you ok etc, very few people are honset enough to say actually im not ok why because people in general dismiss that as an answer so we have learnt to say yep im ok but secrectly we cry. yes im low today but always rational and know it will pass. Fish dont assume she will say that hun ask her you never know what will transpire.
jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Kerry il answer you in your thread hun thx jackiei xxxxx
Smile Jackie..we love you! I want mine to read,
The perfect Mother
The perfect Wife
The perfect Woman
And boy was her house clean!
Hugs, and love to you, Kim
The perfect Mother
The perfect Wife
The perfect Woman
And boy was her house clean!
Hugs, and love to you, Kim
This isn't in any way to make light of the posts so far or the thread. But I remember seeing a headstone on a grave in Key West Florida many years ago.
The headstone had a name on it and dates of birth and death.
The only other thing written on it was --
I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
My point in question hun every point has a serious side to it if we look. very funny though lol jackie xxxxxxxxxx
jackie
hi chic, sorry you're having a bad day.
your post made me think of something my dad use to say..
someone would ask "you doing ok"
his replie would be " ok, i guess. can't complaine, if i did no one would listen"
never understood that till i was older...
hope you fell better soon...dj
hi chic, sorry you're having a bad day.
your post made me think of something my dad use to say..
someone would ask "you doing ok"
his replie would be " ok, i guess. can't complaine, if i did no one would listen"
never understood that till i was older...
hope you fell better soon...dj
HI,
Hey big sis are you ok you have been through so much in your life and you beat the odds i'am so proud of you please don't ever doubt your self you are one dear angel do i have to come over there and cook you a turkey lol.. that sould put that smile back on your face lol..
i want to share somthing with you guys i came across brians letter he left behind yesterday' i was feeling abit low so i was going to look up some old family photos they some times help put that smile back on my face and there was the letter my cousin left for me it was hard to reread it but i did and part of his letter his mom put on his head stone after i read it i thought of his dear daughter and remembered how i thanked god and still do each and every day that i never gave up how addiction had tore apart his family and left a daughter still blaiming her self and wondering why his love for her was not enough to make him fight and live to be there for her, anyway as painful as this is to type i hope it will help others to fight stay strong and please don't give up.
My dearest family.
Thank you for all you have
done in trying to help me but,
i'am sorry i could not stay,
my soul is tourmented the,
pain will not go away, today
i will meet our father at heavens gate
for judgement i hope he will,
forgive me and let me stay,
as i prayed i was weak,
but my message is to you all
please fight back and be strong.
P.S. I hope i have not afended anyone i just wanted to share the damage that drugs did to my cousin and his family and the wake up call it gave me to keep on fighting i found this post before my cousin took his life these dear angels helped me get clean and after what brian did even made me fight harder the heartace i saw then and still do in his daughters face is something i would never ever want to put my children through so please lets keep on FIGHTING PLEASE!
Hey big sis are you ok you have been through so much in your life and you beat the odds i'am so proud of you please don't ever doubt your self you are one dear angel do i have to come over there and cook you a turkey lol.. that sould put that smile back on your face lol..
i want to share somthing with you guys i came across brians letter he left behind yesterday' i was feeling abit low so i was going to look up some old family photos they some times help put that smile back on my face and there was the letter my cousin left for me it was hard to reread it but i did and part of his letter his mom put on his head stone after i read it i thought of his dear daughter and remembered how i thanked god and still do each and every day that i never gave up how addiction had tore apart his family and left a daughter still blaiming her self and wondering why his love for her was not enough to make him fight and live to be there for her, anyway as painful as this is to type i hope it will help others to fight stay strong and please don't give up.
My dearest family.
Thank you for all you have
done in trying to help me but,
i'am sorry i could not stay,
my soul is tourmented the,
pain will not go away, today
i will meet our father at heavens gate
for judgement i hope he will,
forgive me and let me stay,
as i prayed i was weak,
but my message is to you all
please fight back and be strong.
P.S. I hope i have not afended anyone i just wanted to share the damage that drugs did to my cousin and his family and the wake up call it gave me to keep on fighting i found this post before my cousin took his life these dear angels helped me get clean and after what brian did even made me fight harder the heartace i saw then and still do in his daughters face is something i would never ever want to put my children through so please lets keep on FIGHTING PLEASE!
im sorry ur feeling low jacky, ive been a bit that way too lately! but i just wanted to tell u that i appreciate u, i really do, and everytime u have posted to me u have helped me!! ur a fantastic person! chin up!
luv me xoxooxoxoxox
luv me xoxooxoxoxox
Jackie,
I love you. Have a good day.
I love you. Have a good day.
Sharon I think you said it best Ill add.....Jackie I hope that the sunshine fills your life & you dont have too many of these dark days...lovemj
Hi Jacky;
Sorry to read you're feeling low. I just saw my psych the other day and had my AD meds adjusted cuz I've been in a bit of a funk for several weeks. Nothing too extreme, but the symptoms are noticeable enough and persistent for a long enough period of time to need to do something. Depression sucks, but it is treatable, so I'm grateful for that. And I'm also grateful that I've finally let go of playing doctor by self-medicating with pills, and years before that with alcohol.
Getting off all the pills has it's ups and downs, that's for sure, but it nice to be honest with myself. Pill obsession - and all that went along with that behaviour - was pure hell for me, and I pray I never go back to that place again.
I hope you are feeling better today. You're always so supportive of others here.
Take care;
Jim
Sorry to read you're feeling low. I just saw my psych the other day and had my AD meds adjusted cuz I've been in a bit of a funk for several weeks. Nothing too extreme, but the symptoms are noticeable enough and persistent for a long enough period of time to need to do something. Depression sucks, but it is treatable, so I'm grateful for that. And I'm also grateful that I've finally let go of playing doctor by self-medicating with pills, and years before that with alcohol.
Getting off all the pills has it's ups and downs, that's for sure, but it nice to be honest with myself. Pill obsession - and all that went along with that behaviour - was pure hell for me, and I pray I never go back to that place again.
I hope you are feeling better today. You're always so supportive of others here.
Take care;
Jim
Hi Jackie,
I hope your day gets brighter, you bring so much hope and inspiration to us. Your a great lady and loved by many. Always know that.
Hey Sharon, long time no talk stranger! How are ya?
Love you guys,
Roe
I hope your day gets brighter, you bring so much hope and inspiration to us. Your a great lady and loved by many. Always know that.
Hey Sharon, long time no talk stranger! How are ya?
Love you guys,
Roe
I just have one more - I know it's late - but I want my marker to read:
Once, twice, 10 times a lady!
My brother said that's not the words to that song - I said so...
haha - feeling a little light - it's so funny, when we were little, we didn''t want to give up one minute of daylight to go to bed and now I know it's getting later and I can tell that I will (wonderful) sleep. (don't want to jinz myself)
Question:*********************************************************************************
I read some say they take Methadone (spelling*) for pain and addition. I thought that was far worse than any of the others. I checked into this about 10 years ago, had to go to a Methadone Clinic daily - got 15 mg liguid - had to swallow in front of them - on w'ends, I had to take leather bag with lock and key and they would put doses in there. There were people driving from at least 300 miles around to get there. It was $55.00 a week or $10 a day. I did that for 9 months and stayed off Lortabs, didn't hurt , felt really good and even lost 30 lbs.
So why now doctors giving to patients for pain and I guess for addiction. Do you also get addicted to the Meth? Is that possible?
I am really learning a lot from this web-site.
I am also full of Potassium, Zinc, B-12 that melts under your tounge, and Magnesium.
And of course the regulars, reg dosage of Xanax, Pres Ibuprophen, Blood Preesure Med - can't think of any more so that must be it for the night time meds.
Also, 2 bananas and plain baked potato.
Hope everyone has a wonderful night.
One song stuck with me the last time I tried this - about 6-8 weeks ago and I felt really crazy - I loved the hot baths but I would lie there and crazy stuff would go through my mind so I would sing.
Over and over 'til I corrected it I sain Keith Whitley's "Don't Close Your Eyes" 'til I got most of it right - it seemed so fitting. I kept my eyes opened and sang. I usually read in the tub but not when I'm feeling crazy. Keith, rest his soul, saves me. He was a country music singer - I don't know your ages so you may have never heard of him but he was really good. Had he stuck around with us, you would have heard about him by now.
I'm almost 49 - for ALL OF YOU YOUNGER PEOPLE - PLS PLS PLS GET HELP, DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET WHATEVER HELP YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS STUFF.
I do feel lucky that I got to raise my sons, go to their HS football games,
Church funtions, etc. Of course at some pf these events I was very talkative b/c I was taking Lortabs. I am very talkative anyway - you have probably noticed that by now. I am still so afraid and I'm sure their are those of you who can u'stand this - I had a flare-up before my youngest son's HS grad - I went - but I worried and cried for days that I might not could go. I don't let them see me cry.
Same thing with my middle son's wedding - but I made it - the wekk after I was in bed all week as long as I made it to the Rehearsal dinner and the Wedding - weeven all went to b'fast the morning after before they left for honeymoon.
I missed one thing and I still beat myself up about it. My best friends son was married and I just could not get out of bed. I had my clothes reday and e'thing. I would have gone in a w'chair if I'd had one. By the time they wre getting married, my husband had taken me to the hospital. They gave me a shot that made me sleep about 12 hours. I have had about 3 of those and when i wake up, I have no pain - only a little sore.
She and her son completely u'stand but I really wanted to be there.
Now this Sunday which is also my baby's b'day (he let's me call him that)
one of his best friends is getting married, We are all invited and I really want to go. How will I feel on Sat - it is in the afternoon - I have that going for me - the morning are spent in the Bathroom
Have talked enough.
Want to hear from others.
Hope after all of this, I have helped someone.
Jean
Once, twice, 10 times a lady!
My brother said that's not the words to that song - I said so...
haha - feeling a little light - it's so funny, when we were little, we didn''t want to give up one minute of daylight to go to bed and now I know it's getting later and I can tell that I will (wonderful) sleep. (don't want to jinz myself)
Question:*********************************************************************************
I read some say they take Methadone (spelling*) for pain and addition. I thought that was far worse than any of the others. I checked into this about 10 years ago, had to go to a Methadone Clinic daily - got 15 mg liguid - had to swallow in front of them - on w'ends, I had to take leather bag with lock and key and they would put doses in there. There were people driving from at least 300 miles around to get there. It was $55.00 a week or $10 a day. I did that for 9 months and stayed off Lortabs, didn't hurt , felt really good and even lost 30 lbs.
So why now doctors giving to patients for pain and I guess for addiction. Do you also get addicted to the Meth? Is that possible?
I am really learning a lot from this web-site.
I am also full of Potassium, Zinc, B-12 that melts under your tounge, and Magnesium.
And of course the regulars, reg dosage of Xanax, Pres Ibuprophen, Blood Preesure Med - can't think of any more so that must be it for the night time meds.
Also, 2 bananas and plain baked potato.
Hope everyone has a wonderful night.
One song stuck with me the last time I tried this - about 6-8 weeks ago and I felt really crazy - I loved the hot baths but I would lie there and crazy stuff would go through my mind so I would sing.
Over and over 'til I corrected it I sain Keith Whitley's "Don't Close Your Eyes" 'til I got most of it right - it seemed so fitting. I kept my eyes opened and sang. I usually read in the tub but not when I'm feeling crazy. Keith, rest his soul, saves me. He was a country music singer - I don't know your ages so you may have never heard of him but he was really good. Had he stuck around with us, you would have heard about him by now.
I'm almost 49 - for ALL OF YOU YOUNGER PEOPLE - PLS PLS PLS GET HELP, DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET WHATEVER HELP YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS STUFF.
I do feel lucky that I got to raise my sons, go to their HS football games,
Church funtions, etc. Of course at some pf these events I was very talkative b/c I was taking Lortabs. I am very talkative anyway - you have probably noticed that by now. I am still so afraid and I'm sure their are those of you who can u'stand this - I had a flare-up before my youngest son's HS grad - I went - but I worried and cried for days that I might not could go. I don't let them see me cry.
Same thing with my middle son's wedding - but I made it - the wekk after I was in bed all week as long as I made it to the Rehearsal dinner and the Wedding - weeven all went to b'fast the morning after before they left for honeymoon.
I missed one thing and I still beat myself up about it. My best friends son was married and I just could not get out of bed. I had my clothes reday and e'thing. I would have gone in a w'chair if I'd had one. By the time they wre getting married, my husband had taken me to the hospital. They gave me a shot that made me sleep about 12 hours. I have had about 3 of those and when i wake up, I have no pain - only a little sore.
She and her son completely u'stand but I really wanted to be there.
Now this Sunday which is also my baby's b'day (he let's me call him that)
one of his best friends is getting married, We are all invited and I really want to go. How will I feel on Sat - it is in the afternoon - I have that going for me - the morning are spent in the Bathroom
Have talked enough.
Want to hear from others.
Hope after all of this, I have helped someone.
Jean
Thx all for your posts you have no idea how this has helped me through the last few days ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) ive got an appointment on thursday so hopefully i can get things resolved i certainly need to im exausted now. its 3.24 im up already ive got a 10-12 hour shift ahead of me, my house is like a bomb site lol just cant muster excess engery right now. There is nothing worse then the shear worry of an unknown. In a strange way it makes me even more determined not to relapse. My grandson wants his nan to go CAMPING lol dont mind that just hate spiders and crawlies lol. please take care your allso dam special to me, jean welcome to the site hun and singing is good for the soul. jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Forget the housework it will get done all in good time dont overwelm yourself put your headphones on and blast your favorite music thats what im doing right now screw the housework i come first now and so should you .dont worry about trivial things it will get done all in good time no rush thats what got us taking pills in the first place trying to be supper humans forget it were not and we dont have to be put some music on and relax
Thx tracy but alas i got to go to work zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol jackie xxxxxxxxx
