Hi, everyone, having a fibro flare so in alot of pain but needed to get this off my chest. My husband, after all I did, has been very kind to me, but today was a different day. We were talking about the Dr. Phil show last night and he was getting ready to leave for the day for a seminar. Of course, when I'm like this! He kind of reminds me of the husband last night, except he didn't know about the drugs, but know just does not want to talk about it and ignores it. I was telling him about using on-line pharmacies and how they would give you 120 for 25 days. I just asked him how many that was, because I had just gotten up and wasn't thinking and his comment to me was" boy, those drugs really fried your mind". I told him that it was the most horrible comment he could make, and finally after a few minutes, he said "I'm sorry" but not in a sorry tone. I know what I did and accept it and maybe I deserved it, but it really hurt coming from someone that won't hardly accept it or talk about it. He could barely watch the program but did because I asked him too. How can I be nice when he comes home because unfortunately I carry grudges!
Kanasgirl,, Hi, I know what your husband said upset you ,, but just try to calm down.. It is really hard for someone that is not an addict to understand,, addiction.. they do not get it .. and it really is not their fault. They have never been thru it so how can we expect them to understand. They think that we should just be able to stop and go on with our life, and never give it a second thougth.. My hubby is a recovering alcoholic.. and many in my family are either recovering addicts of either alcohol or pills.. I never understood for years why they just could not quit.. I even went to alanon,, and that did help some,, and explained how this is a sickness but still in my mind I still could not see how they would go to any lengths to have their docs.. Now I do understand since I am now an addict also.. I dont know if this helps or not, I am sure he is just scared and wants what is best for you, he just does not understand..
But Paula, I know they can't understand, but can they try, by reading books, talking to us. He came from this goody-two-shoes family and I know that's why he is the way he is. His family does not communicate with each, oh we talk, but if it's about something volatile, forget it, they just keep it all inside. His dad died from a massive heart attact, when my husband was 17 and that's part of the problem there.
kansas girl, you and i are married to the same man...lol...he went to the meeting last night, very uncomfortable from his body language....but he loves me unconditionally...same thing, he has been hiding my NA AA books when his brother is coming in the house....i on the other hand spill my guts...sometimes too much
Kanasgirl... Yes they can educate theirselves, some will and some want I did not for a long time . I hate to say this but I wanted to just hide it I did not want anyone to know that my husband was a alcoholic.. I did not want to take him places because I knew he would drink etc.. and would not stop until he was way past drunk.. So I tried to hide it from family freinds anybody,, I was ashamed in a way.. Yes I loved him but I was embarrased.. I made excuses for him all the time,, I hated his addiction it was a embarrased by it.. When he went to aa and I went to alanon I finally started learning that this was not unusual..feelings but in a way I was enabling him,, I did try to educate myself and look at it as a sickness but even then I dont think I truley understood it until I became an addict...I have to add thought even though I was embarrased by his addiction I loved him and stuck by him I was scared though scared for him and my family.. Sometimes being scared and concerned can come across as anger..
Paula, I generally don't tell people because I feel it's none of their business. A few of my closest friends know and of course, everyone on here. My mom knows but never will my mother-in-law know. I don't think he will do anything about it, because when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, i wanted him to understand that and would give him things to read or sites to go on but he never did. I guess he just doesn't want to think he doesn't have "the perfect wife". When I was at my worse, one of my good friends called him and talked to him about "the problem" because she had noticed it. All he did was ask me if I was using too much pain med., and of course guess what I said. "NO" and that was it. If it was him, I would be all over it and finding out what was going on, but I guess that may be the difference between men and women. Men, do get mad, cause I know there are a few that would do everything possible.
