Hi there everyone, it's been awhile since I have posted, although I have been checking up on everyone. I wish I was writing today to tell all of you how good things have been, except I can't. Monday night was a horrible night. For whatever reason I picked up a bottle of wine, had all good intentions just to have a couple of drinks, well I should have known better, one bottle turned into two and I ended up getting so drunk, that part of the evening I don't even remember. I got into an arguement with my landlord, and the people above me, my music was too loud and they complained so my landlord came down. Then the police came around 11:00, I didn't let them in. The next morning I got a letter from my landlord saying if this happens again I will be evicted!!
I am so ashamed of myself, I was totally out of control and just feel like a complete idiot, drunken fool. In my everyday life, I am respected and loved and I know that people wouldn't believe that I could be like that, and I honestly can't either... :(
lovedove
Hi LoveDove...shame doesn't help...learning from it...a lesson...things that happen...happen for a reason...and it is what we learn from it that is important...there are many mistakes I have made in my life...a few I am "ashamed" of...but as I have learned from many others...we are human...not perfect...as the spirit Emmanuel said..."we are perfectly imperfect"...Look at it from a postive aspect instead of the negative...look at what you learned about yourself and what you can do to not do that again...what you can change or do differently the next time...It is through these lessons that I have learned the most about myself...
Do you go to meetings? Do you have a recovery plan? People who support you? And remember it is one day...one moment at a time...{{{HUGS}}} Love Gina
PS Love Dove...I remember when I first started posting and you replied to me...I don't remember the details but I remember feeling your support for me and I thank you for that...
Do you go to meetings? Do you have a recovery plan? People who support you? And remember it is one day...one moment at a time...{{{HUGS}}} Love Gina
PS Love Dove...I remember when I first started posting and you replied to me...I don't remember the details but I remember feeling your support for me and I thank you for that...
Hi LD
its a hard lesson isn't it? I'm sorry you had to go through that. It just reinforces that this is a progressive disease and it NEVER gets any better when we go out drinking.
I've found for me, its important to look at why I relapsed. There may not be any reason that's immediately apparent but underlying there's usually something. Allowing resentments to slip in, or not being in gratitude or boredom. Its essential to learn from this so you can take steps to prevent it happening again.
Its a deadly disease. Pick yourself up and move forward into sobriety. I know you have the courage to do this.
Thanks for being honest and sharing LD.
((((((hugs))))))
Idgie.
its a hard lesson isn't it? I'm sorry you had to go through that. It just reinforces that this is a progressive disease and it NEVER gets any better when we go out drinking.
I've found for me, its important to look at why I relapsed. There may not be any reason that's immediately apparent but underlying there's usually something. Allowing resentments to slip in, or not being in gratitude or boredom. Its essential to learn from this so you can take steps to prevent it happening again.
Its a deadly disease. Pick yourself up and move forward into sobriety. I know you have the courage to do this.
Thanks for being honest and sharing LD.
((((((hugs))))))
Idgie.
Hi Gina, Hi Idgie,
Thanks gals for your support and kind words, it so nice to have you all here. You both posted such true words, that really hit home, it's so hard not to beat myself up over this, I even felt bad having to tell all of you here. I do feel better this afternoon, making a roast beef dinner, mashed potatoes,peas, and ice cream for dinner, I find I have to eat or else I get cravings, especially now since my relapse. I got to thinking about why I might have drank, I've been feeling really grumpy it snowed here and my landlord didn't bother doing anything to the complex, it was so icy and so dangerous to the elderly people here, and I should have talked to him about it, but I just let it stew, and also the stress of the holidays, and H issues, I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I'm going to start journaling to track my moods, and I'm going to look into a meeting, I don't want this to happen again, I need some "healthy" tools to combat this disease, to prevent this from ruining my life anymore!!
Thanks for caring,
lovedove xoxo
P.S. Idgie wait a go girl for not drinking at your Christmas party, I can imagine how you were feeling at the time, but I bet you feel on top of the world today though!!! :)
P.S.S. Gina, you are more than welcome hun!! It's always good to have great people in your corner....and we sure have that here!!
Thanks gals for your support and kind words, it so nice to have you all here. You both posted such true words, that really hit home, it's so hard not to beat myself up over this, I even felt bad having to tell all of you here. I do feel better this afternoon, making a roast beef dinner, mashed potatoes,peas, and ice cream for dinner, I find I have to eat or else I get cravings, especially now since my relapse. I got to thinking about why I might have drank, I've been feeling really grumpy it snowed here and my landlord didn't bother doing anything to the complex, it was so icy and so dangerous to the elderly people here, and I should have talked to him about it, but I just let it stew, and also the stress of the holidays, and H issues, I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I'm going to start journaling to track my moods, and I'm going to look into a meeting, I don't want this to happen again, I need some "healthy" tools to combat this disease, to prevent this from ruining my life anymore!!
Thanks for caring,
lovedove xoxo
P.S. Idgie wait a go girl for not drinking at your Christmas party, I can imagine how you were feeling at the time, but I bet you feel on top of the world today though!!! :)
P.S.S. Gina, you are more than welcome hun!! It's always good to have great people in your corner....and we sure have that here!!
LD...Remember H A L T: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired...big triggers for relapse...the great thing is you are recognizing what caused it...Awareness is the first half of the battle...Action is second...That is where support is helpful...having other people help with the action and sometimes with the awareness too! Someone calling me on my sh*t always is helpful...I don't always like it but it is needed...Love ya Gina
Gidday Lovedove
Learn from it all and keep posting, use the threads on gratitude and not drinking and give the meetings a good go and share if you get the chance, it works if i work at it
Light and love zac
Learn from it all and keep posting, use the threads on gratitude and not drinking and give the meetings a good go and share if you get the chance, it works if i work at it
Light and love zac
HI Love Dove,
I am an addict and alcoholic. Recently I also relapsed with alcohol. Terrible how the cravings come back again after the first drink again. I think what struck me in your post was the thinking of just having a few glasses. Well, as you experienced this is rarely the case. For me, I now know I must not play with the idea of drinking. I accept that I cannot drink any alcohol. Not even 1 glass. Cos it opens that door up just a bit, and I know I cannot predict my behavious once I start to drink. I hope you learned something from your relapse. I know it is not easy.
I went to a Christmas Party last night and the first hour was a brandy tasting! Bloody hell, everyone sitting with big snifters of brandy while the lady encouraged them to smell it taste it, comment on it etc. I was the only one not participating, and evertime she tasted a new one, she made a poiunt of asking me -you sure you don't want a little taste! God, I could have hit her on the head with the damn bottle, I was trying so hard to inconspicuously not participate. I made it though!
Anyway, just wanted to tell you ity happens to the best of us, and I am so glad you were able to come back to the board and share about it.
Take care
Calabash
I am an addict and alcoholic. Recently I also relapsed with alcohol. Terrible how the cravings come back again after the first drink again. I think what struck me in your post was the thinking of just having a few glasses. Well, as you experienced this is rarely the case. For me, I now know I must not play with the idea of drinking. I accept that I cannot drink any alcohol. Not even 1 glass. Cos it opens that door up just a bit, and I know I cannot predict my behavious once I start to drink. I hope you learned something from your relapse. I know it is not easy.
I went to a Christmas Party last night and the first hour was a brandy tasting! Bloody hell, everyone sitting with big snifters of brandy while the lady encouraged them to smell it taste it, comment on it etc. I was the only one not participating, and evertime she tasted a new one, she made a poiunt of asking me -you sure you don't want a little taste! God, I could have hit her on the head with the damn bottle, I was trying so hard to inconspicuously not participate. I made it though!
Anyway, just wanted to tell you ity happens to the best of us, and I am so glad you were able to come back to the board and share about it.
Take care
Calabash
I was the only one not participating, and evertime she tasted a new one, she made a poiunt of asking me -you sure you don't want a little taste!
Cal, just tell people you have an allergy to alcohol. That usually shuts them up. If they persist, tell you when you drink, you break out.....in handcuffs. <G>
Cal, just tell people you have an allergy to alcohol. That usually shuts them up. If they persist, tell you when you drink, you break out.....in handcuffs. <G>
Hi there eveyone, looked into a meeting, there are LOADS around here, I may hit the nooner or the 5:00pm one.
My mom is really disappointed in me,she knows of my disease and has told me for along time that I have a terrible problem, but of course that just lead me to drink more just to prove her wrong, but boy I sure didn't.. I do realize I am an alcoholic, never really thought I would admit, but I am. With Christmas coming it's going to be hard, my brother is an alcoholic as well, and I'm sure the drinks will be flowing, so I've already told mom and dad that I will drive over there.
Gina, you are right, things happen for a reason and it's time I took charge of my life and not let this disease control my life. You are such an inspiration.
Calabash, that must have been hard, but good for you for staying strong, I like the I'm allergic to alcohol thing that 12 stepper mentioned, I'm going to use that, because in reality we really are!!
Love ya all,
LD xox
Hey Zac, thanks for your post, I do have so much to be grateful for.
My mom is really disappointed in me,she knows of my disease and has told me for along time that I have a terrible problem, but of course that just lead me to drink more just to prove her wrong, but boy I sure didn't.. I do realize I am an alcoholic, never really thought I would admit, but I am. With Christmas coming it's going to be hard, my brother is an alcoholic as well, and I'm sure the drinks will be flowing, so I've already told mom and dad that I will drive over there.
Gina, you are right, things happen for a reason and it's time I took charge of my life and not let this disease control my life. You are such an inspiration.
Calabash, that must have been hard, but good for you for staying strong, I like the I'm allergic to alcohol thing that 12 stepper mentioned, I'm going to use that, because in reality we really are!!
Love ya all,
LD xox
Hey Zac, thanks for your post, I do have so much to be grateful for.
Hang in there LD
The meetings help me tremendously. I can't tell you the support I've gotten from them and some of the people in the fellowship. People call to check on me, my sponsor has literally saved my life. The meetings renew me and help me understand my disease.
Just a word of caution, there are meetings and meetings - its good to go to several different ones before making a decision about whether its "for you" or not. At least got to 3 different ones and go 2 or 3 times to each before you decide if its for you.
Remember, take what you need and leave the rest.
Ask your Mum to make you up a nice non-alcoholic punch, with lots of strawberries and yummy fruit in it, so you can have a nice Chrissy drink. Or if its cold where you are how about a yummy hot chocolate with lots of cream. Its Christmas after all - you deserve a nice non-alcoholic treat.
The meetings help me tremendously. I can't tell you the support I've gotten from them and some of the people in the fellowship. People call to check on me, my sponsor has literally saved my life. The meetings renew me and help me understand my disease.
Just a word of caution, there are meetings and meetings - its good to go to several different ones before making a decision about whether its "for you" or not. At least got to 3 different ones and go 2 or 3 times to each before you decide if its for you.
Remember, take what you need and leave the rest.
Ask your Mum to make you up a nice non-alcoholic punch, with lots of strawberries and yummy fruit in it, so you can have a nice Chrissy drink. Or if its cold where you are how about a yummy hot chocolate with lots of cream. Its Christmas after all - you deserve a nice non-alcoholic treat.
Hey Idgie,
I got caught up in the Christmas shopping thing today, so no meeting, but I ate lots, and I'm pretty pooped, no desire to drink, mind you it did creep in while I was in the mall, so stressful in there all the people and some can be so darn right nasty!!! I should be done everything this weekend so I will be able to relax and really enjoy the season, may go to a spa or something. Good idea about the non alcoholic punch idea, either that or I'll just pack a 12 of gingerale!! Tomorrow I'm working late, but I know they have meetings all hours, and thanks for the suggestion on checking out a few.
Thanks my friend,
love
lovedove
I got caught up in the Christmas shopping thing today, so no meeting, but I ate lots, and I'm pretty pooped, no desire to drink, mind you it did creep in while I was in the mall, so stressful in there all the people and some can be so darn right nasty!!! I should be done everything this weekend so I will be able to relax and really enjoy the season, may go to a spa or something. Good idea about the non alcoholic punch idea, either that or I'll just pack a 12 of gingerale!! Tomorrow I'm working late, but I know they have meetings all hours, and thanks for the suggestion on checking out a few.
Thanks my friend,
love
lovedove
Hi LD,
Just got around to posting back to you...my kid is in rehab so I'm real busy with that Program and my own Program..........well, if you be alcoholic like me you did what we do and you drank and I was reminded early on that this is a progressive, often fatal disease if I choose to stay active in untreated alcoholism. It's the first drink that gets me drunk. For me, and I tried everything, AA (God, the Steps, the Traditions, Meetings, Sponsorship, Commitments, the Fellowship and carrying the message to the still suffering alcoholic) is the only thing that has allowed me to have three years of continuous, one day at time. I had to surrender and concede to God and my innermost self that I am an alcoholic and I do so on a daily basis....nothing changes if nothing changes.
Just got around to posting back to you...my kid is in rehab so I'm real busy with that Program and my own Program..........well, if you be alcoholic like me you did what we do and you drank and I was reminded early on that this is a progressive, often fatal disease if I choose to stay active in untreated alcoholism. It's the first drink that gets me drunk. For me, and I tried everything, AA (God, the Steps, the Traditions, Meetings, Sponsorship, Commitments, the Fellowship and carrying the message to the still suffering alcoholic) is the only thing that has allowed me to have three years of continuous, one day at time. I had to surrender and concede to God and my innermost self that I am an alcoholic and I do so on a daily basis....nothing changes if nothing changes.
Hi VWgirl,
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate you taking time out to help me in this journey of once again.. sobriety. Three years you have been sober, that is wonderful I bet that you feel totally reborn!! I was doing so well, a few months under my belt, and now BAM well back to square one!! I will be checking out some meetings and go from there...
lots of love,
LD
xoxox
Thanks for your reply, I appreciate you taking time out to help me in this journey of once again.. sobriety. Three years you have been sober, that is wonderful I bet that you feel totally reborn!! I was doing so well, a few months under my belt, and now BAM well back to square one!! I will be checking out some meetings and go from there...
lots of love,
LD
xoxox
Hi LD, nope don't feel like I've been reborn as of late, in fact some days I feel pretty sh***y, but I don't drink no matter what and get my butt to meetings as often as I can, actually I try to get a meeting in everyday...just grateful that I am sober and clean and walking through the situation with my youngest daughter by utilizing the tools of the 12 Step Program of AA which I've been a member of since 11/22/2003 (my sobriety date). How are you doing, are you going to hit a meeting this week?
