Hi fellow recoverers (is that a word?)
This might be a bit of a ramble - so go get your cup of tea before reading LOL.
So last night I went to my "first" meeting (first in this recovery). I REALLy didn't want to go back to AA especially cause how embarrassing to go back to the same meetings after a year - even though I only went a few times then.
Plus those meetings I went to before I didn't really connect with anyone and just blah.
SO I decided to go to a different meeting even though it meant driving further, had 2 choices. One I knew exactly how to get to, and even though its not the greatest area I knew the way and decided to go there. But I didn't feel like I should. I am pretty clairevoyant about certain things and one thing I have worked on a lot over the last year is listening to that "voice" and so I listened and didn't go to that meeting - I went to the other one that was even further away.
Turnd out to be a great decision. It was a small meeting only about 6 of us there, but I felt much more comfortable and 2 of the people I could really relate to, including one woman my age. Seems like in my town not too many women at AA meetings mostly guys.
And they told me about some other meetings in our town, not AA but other recovery meetings they go to - so in a week or so I might check those out. But I want to go to a few more AA meetings first.
Anyway, I felt really validated for following my premonition to go to that other meeting, not the 2 closer ones. It gave me a lot of confidence. I know my clairevoyance operates most strongly when I am focussed on my higher power - because it is in fact my higher power speaking to me. So it made me feel strong.
Am I making sense? See the alcohol has distorted my perception for so long that I stopped being able to hear that HP voice, all I heard was the insanity voice, the OTHER voice in my head all the time and I would get confused and frustrated. Now I am getting better at separating the 2 again - I know when I listen to the voice of my HP operating through me that I can't go wrong - impossible to do so. But what was happening was that my insanity voice would over-ride it, or talk me into crazy stuff and pretend to be the HP voice.
Last night at the meeting someone was telling their story about their downward spiral of drinking etc. and I got a chill. Because I had a premonition - it is the vision that has driven me to get sober. The vision of me in their story that I will be that. I know that vision which I've seen in my mind lately is only the possiblity, not the actuality. Its a warning. My HP speaking to me in the way that I understand - through clairevoyance - this is where you will end up but I'm offering you a choice right now.
I'm a big Star Wars fan, so I take a lot of comfort from that wise fellow Master Yoda. He said "always in motion, the future is."
And that is because of choice, the choices we make, changing our future. So I don't see my premonition as that is what will happen to me in the future. I see it as that is what will happen to me IF I continue drinking.
I know this is long and rambling but what I'm getting at through all this, is that I let go a little last night, let my HP take over for a bit and felt like a little flower of understand bloomed in me.
Just wanted to share.
Idgie
Idgie, So glad you went to a meeting and that you connected. Way to go! Yep, that was your intuition talking to you....and you trusted it because you are sober. Did you get any phone numbers?
idgie....
hooray for you... i am so gld that you went to a meeting. and especially that you found one that you are comfortable with, that's the best part!!!
keep it up!!!
patricia
hooray for you... i am so gld that you went to a meeting. and especially that you found one that you are comfortable with, that's the best part!!!
keep it up!!!
patricia
Hey Idgie way to go
You know the feeling you felt when you had the premonition at the meeting. Go to more meetings and your sharing will help someone else feel the same. I know for me that sharing my gratitude and story helps me and anyone else that is in the moment stay well.
The spiritual side of recovery is endless thankgod i know now that there is no such thing as coincidence my intuition, guides, higher power all work with me when im sober and the more work i put into finding out who i am the more contact with my guides i see. They send so many signs and people my way i tend to miss them because im too busy looking for them. Miracles do happen to all of us.
Light and love Zac
You know the feeling you felt when you had the premonition at the meeting. Go to more meetings and your sharing will help someone else feel the same. I know for me that sharing my gratitude and story helps me and anyone else that is in the moment stay well.
The spiritual side of recovery is endless thankgod i know now that there is no such thing as coincidence my intuition, guides, higher power all work with me when im sober and the more work i put into finding out who i am the more contact with my guides i see. They send so many signs and people my way i tend to miss them because im too busy looking for them. Miracles do happen to all of us.
Light and love Zac
You're never rambling Idgie! Very powerful post, thanks for sharing! Glad you went to a meeting. I'm kind of in the same place right now. i'm thinking that my feelings about AA are only related to the meeting that i was going to. I have to say that with all of the great talk of AA going on around here i'm seriously thinking of trying it again. I even made some calls and found another meeting (quite a ways away, but that's ok) so i may go again soon.
Glad you had a good experience!
Have a nice day;)
Glad you had a good experience!
Have a nice day;)
I'm so happy for you Idgie! That's great that you found a meeting that worked for you. And Jayde is right; you never ramble - I love reading your posts, you're always so insightful and strong, you are an inspiration. I know I'm not quite ready for AA yet, but maybe someday in the future I will give it a shot. But I'm really proud of you for going ahead despite your fears. Keep us posted! Hugs from me...
thanks for all the support and sharing guys.
Zac - you seem like you are really open to your spiritual side and that is great. It is amazing to me what happens when I tune in. I can really relate to what yu are saying.
Jayde - yup try it again - what have you got to lose after all? A couple hours of your time, and so much to gain.
I think its like anything worthwhile, a good job, partner, friend - you don't necessarily get it right first time. While some might get lucky its pretty rare. How many of us are with our first ever boyfriend? Still in our first ever job? etc. You got to try out a few different meetings to find the one that "fits". At least that is what I am seeing.
I don't think I'll ever become one of those diehard AA or the highway people LOL. And I think even if you go the AA route there's more to recovery than just that. I take a holistic approach to things - lots of things TOGETHER will bring recovery and longterm sobriety - for me anyway. I KNOW that, now I just gotta LIVE it.
ciaobella - YOU"ll know when/if you're ready - and maybe there's another way for you - lots of alternatives out there.
love you all
Idgie
Zac - you seem like you are really open to your spiritual side and that is great. It is amazing to me what happens when I tune in. I can really relate to what yu are saying.
Jayde - yup try it again - what have you got to lose after all? A couple hours of your time, and so much to gain.
I think its like anything worthwhile, a good job, partner, friend - you don't necessarily get it right first time. While some might get lucky its pretty rare. How many of us are with our first ever boyfriend? Still in our first ever job? etc. You got to try out a few different meetings to find the one that "fits". At least that is what I am seeing.
I don't think I'll ever become one of those diehard AA or the highway people LOL. And I think even if you go the AA route there's more to recovery than just that. I take a holistic approach to things - lots of things TOGETHER will bring recovery and longterm sobriety - for me anyway. I KNOW that, now I just gotta LIVE it.
ciaobella - YOU"ll know when/if you're ready - and maybe there's another way for you - lots of alternatives out there.
love you all
Idgie
Idgie, that's how my Sponsor approaches the Program...well, she intersperses hers and suggests I do the same with other methods of spiritually, growth and recovery. I'm so proud of all of you! Wish I could bring you all to a meeting with me!
