I never used drugs until I was 21 and I never used meth until my 25th birthday. I am now 28 and trying to stay clean. My dad turned me in when he came by my house unexpectedly. My dad owns my apartment and will not let me live there because they recommended an expensive clean up for a meth lab.
It is hard adjusting to lliving at home with my parents again because I can't get high near as easily as I used to. It was so easy to make my "mean green" and I had unlimited supply. This caused me to have a stroke and my friend found me passed out in the summer in my car with the windows up, I saw the light in the sky that day. I stopped making it for a few months and replaced it with other drugs such as pain killers. Then I met up with some other cooks one night and we had all the ingredients, so we made a run. Then I met up with a guy I knew when I was a kid and he was learning how to make it. We started seeing each other and that was double trouble. I stayed high almost every day. My family is watching everything I do.This happened about 2 weeks ago. I am constantly fighting the urge to pack a bag and sneak off to make a batch somewhere. Craving the drug meth itself is difficult to quit but I think making it is even more addictive. I am "hooked on the cook". Since I learned how to make it, my life has gone downhill and I see eveything differently. This is not just something you decide to do, it is a way of life. I need some advice form someone who has kicked the cooking habit and the meth habit. I am tired of waking up thinking about it and going to bed and dreaming of it too. Please Help!
http://www.kci.org/meth_info/sites/...meth_psycho.htm This is a good article on explaining how our minds work and how meth takes over . Using meth and everything to do with getting wired becomes our only way of feeling satisfied . All the ways a normal person would perceive pleasure, gratification and so forth are replaced by meth ,. A lot of addiction is ritual related , ya know , the playin with and making of glass pipes, the chopping and lining it up , if you snort . Anything that is a ritual you go through, before your brain gets that all mighty reward and pleasure (well it is how your brain perceives it) called meth ....you will crave . Cooking is what you are used to doing in order to reach your ultimate goal .....getting meth to your brain . I am betting you dont have the cravings to cook while you still have a stash. So what you are craving is more meth , and your mind is telling you how to get there . I been doing meth for 35 years , I had to remove myself away from all contacts , any chance of getting ahold of more meth . Knowing how to make it your self , kind of rules that out , kinda hard to run from yourself huh? Take advantage of being watched over by your parents , quitting meth is in no way easy , it gets even harder over time ......my best advice is to quit now while you more or less have all your cards showin , and have a family to help you through it . look at your age , you have already had a stroke you said??? wake up !!!! the writing is on the wall .....you can quit now or suffer another stroke , where you would be lucky if you died ....cause the alternative is living paralyzed , or a vegetable ....and if those dont get ya , cooking charges are nothin to take lightly ... with all the cooks leaving a toxic disaster behind (such as yourself you said) the law is getting tougher and tougher .... it is all a matter of choices , the right ones arent always the easiest path ,... but trust me , the harder path is much more rewarding in the end . best of luck to you
I just got out of jail because I had to do it just one last time. I was in there for 14 days so I am feeling good and clean at the moment. I learned my lesson and will still have to learn more of it. I want to do the normal things in life, you know the natural highs. I am currantly checking into a rehab program, I want my old life back or an even better one. My goal is to help at least one person not be in my shoes and let their life fall down this far. As long as I can keep a positive attitude, I know I can do that.
there ya go mean green!! 14 days is a great start , goin through a program will give you another 30 or so ....from what I have researched and experienced myself ....it takes a good 60 to 90 days before the cravings weaken enough to give a good fight against. ....they will still happen but they are less powerful ...always remember it DOES get better ....it really does ......best of luck to ya .....Happy New Year
Meangreen, I'm proud of ya buddy. It took me 20 years and a lot of wasted time to finally learn to deal with my addiction, problems, and living life on it's terms. Hope you stay focused. Keep up the good work. Still clean and serene and LOVING life,,,,Linda
