I just wanted to write a few lines to say I'm still holding on! I am stable at 15mg Mdone/day but have found that, so far, it is not the onward and downward plunge that I started out with. Maybe I was just at some an unusually healthy point when I started this effort? but now I am not at that ideal circumstance?, I don't know. Not that 15mg is really hard if I just take into account what is right this moment, it is more just monotonous blah feeling not "good" dotted with feeling like I am in a sub-optimal holding pattern, I am not encouraged to do more than hold at this level, at least pending my upcoming dr appointment to discuss my desire for the subs. Maybe THAT appointment itself is what has slowed my resolve? I certainly do not "KNOW" such things if I am honest. Not sure how I ought to approach this appointment either... what to say and what to ask for?
The Bible remains my steady focus beyond EVERYTHING else, and all my real hope is wrapped up in that rather than ANYTHING I am able to do or not do in this life.
Hang in there everyone!
6mg sub
Keep up the hard work and work with a doctor no matter what. It's hard and I had to go on Zoloft to help with severe depression and anxiety! I was on 140mg for so long and once I was down to 60mg and going down from there you would never believe the anxiety and depression I was having!!! nothing like it before in my entire life!
Keep up the hard work and work with a doctor no matter what. It's hard and I had to go on Zoloft to help with severe depression and anxiety! I was on 140mg for so long and once I was down to 60mg and going down from there you would never believe the anxiety and depression I was having!!! nothing like it before in my entire life!
6mg subutex
I feel 100 times better from last year at this time being on 140mg of methadone! I know that when methadone passed into law it was like lots of other things that get passed money and social control.
I feel 100 times better from last year at this time being on 140mg of methadone! I know that when methadone passed into law it was like lots of other things that get passed money and social control.
6mg
198 pounds!
I feel so good lately. I'm so engaged in life again since going down from methadone! I mean I was isolated on methadone because I was so tired from it. It also cut me off completely from my emotions. I'm singing in my car again! My libido is raging wonderfully. I'm doing hobbies again and excited about the day ahead. My relationships have come a long ways. I go to work out 4 to 5 days a week, I'm NOT craving sugar like I was, I'm down 22 pounds and 35 pounds since my heaviest in my life on methadone. I have a home group in aa and go 5 days a week. I mean my spirit feels alive again. I didn't realize what life methadone was sucking out of me. I mean I knew, but not to the extent that I realize now being off it and on subutex. It's going to be so wonderful to be free again. I feel like a slave to the clinic and the drug. I feel locked down and controlled. Being forced to pee in front of people, being forced to wait in those lines, being forced into garbage counseling, being forced into forking out so much money to these big business clinics. I could go on and on, but i'm so excited how far I've come and when i'm free it's going to be a relief. I can't wait to go backpacking in the mountains this year. I have the full gear and now I don't have to schedule it around clinic hours. I don't have to waste all that time, money, gas, and energy going to that clinic! I'm grateful to God today for getting me this far.
To anyone who is thinking of getting off methadone DO NOT FEAR! You are going to notice so many wonderful things that it's stealing from your mind.
198 pounds!
I feel so good lately. I'm so engaged in life again since going down from methadone! I mean I was isolated on methadone because I was so tired from it. It also cut me off completely from my emotions. I'm singing in my car again! My libido is raging wonderfully. I'm doing hobbies again and excited about the day ahead. My relationships have come a long ways. I go to work out 4 to 5 days a week, I'm NOT craving sugar like I was, I'm down 22 pounds and 35 pounds since my heaviest in my life on methadone. I have a home group in aa and go 5 days a week. I mean my spirit feels alive again. I didn't realize what life methadone was sucking out of me. I mean I knew, but not to the extent that I realize now being off it and on subutex. It's going to be so wonderful to be free again. I feel like a slave to the clinic and the drug. I feel locked down and controlled. Being forced to pee in front of people, being forced to wait in those lines, being forced into garbage counseling, being forced into forking out so much money to these big business clinics. I could go on and on, but i'm so excited how far I've come and when i'm free it's going to be a relief. I can't wait to go backpacking in the mountains this year. I have the full gear and now I don't have to schedule it around clinic hours. I don't have to waste all that time, money, gas, and energy going to that clinic! I'm grateful to God today for getting me this far.
To anyone who is thinking of getting off methadone DO NOT FEAR! You are going to notice so many wonderful things that it's stealing from your mind.
6mg sub
Going down on Tuesday of next week to 4mg. Once I get down to 2mg i'm going to stop there and let my brain heal and recover and adapt to the new dose. Then i'm going to tackle the last 2mg stint until i'm finally free. I hope by June to be completely clean. I'm going to meetings a lot and am really liking everybody and feel apart of the group. I KNOW I can't do this alone! The devil loves a disconnected believer because he knows he will fall. But like multiple threads woand together they are strong. Being apart of the group brings me laughter, caring, connection, and gets me out of isolation. I thank God for how far He has brought me. I KNOW He didn't bring me this far for nothing. I'm feeling SO GOOD lately it's crazy! i'm excited to get up and for the day. Even in the evening i'm excited for the next day. That is new territory for me since being on methadone!
God bless everyone and remember that God isn't concerned with how quick you grow, but with how strong you grow! Growth is slow and there is a season for everything. Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Going down on Tuesday of next week to 4mg. Once I get down to 2mg i'm going to stop there and let my brain heal and recover and adapt to the new dose. Then i'm going to tackle the last 2mg stint until i'm finally free. I hope by June to be completely clean. I'm going to meetings a lot and am really liking everybody and feel apart of the group. I KNOW I can't do this alone! The devil loves a disconnected believer because he knows he will fall. But like multiple threads woand together they are strong. Being apart of the group brings me laughter, caring, connection, and gets me out of isolation. I thank God for how far He has brought me. I KNOW He didn't bring me this far for nothing. I'm feeling SO GOOD lately it's crazy! i'm excited to get up and for the day. Even in the evening i'm excited for the next day. That is new territory for me since being on methadone!
God bless everyone and remember that God isn't concerned with how quick you grow, but with how strong you grow! Growth is slow and there is a season for everything. Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
6mg
Well i'm dropping next week again. It's hard to believe how long ive been noting my experience here. It's been a long journey. I'm convinced that holding at a dose for a good amount of time allows for the brain to heal and adjust to that new level. It's not all about the physical withdraw symptoms at all. It's more about your mental health and how you are feeling mentally on a daily basis. I notice that after a drop my mental health goes down a bit and then picks back up and is healthier once the adjustment has been made. I also noticed that from one day to the next I have different levels of courage, excitement, confidence, and trust in this process. I have to continually lean back on the Lord. There are little demons that like to remind me of bad statistics of past failures etc. etc. Also, that amateur demons in training try to trick me with the same old lies that just once won't hurt a fly. The baby demons try to tell me that Heroin isn't even bad and it's just society that tells us this:). I'm still SO SO SO grateful that i'm down from that huge amount of methadone! I'm also very happy that I'm down from 234 pounds to 197. I don't crave that sugar like I use to. To everyone that is tapering lean on God because He is with you. He is with you even if you don't believe in Him.
Well i'm dropping next week again. It's hard to believe how long ive been noting my experience here. It's been a long journey. I'm convinced that holding at a dose for a good amount of time allows for the brain to heal and adjust to that new level. It's not all about the physical withdraw symptoms at all. It's more about your mental health and how you are feeling mentally on a daily basis. I notice that after a drop my mental health goes down a bit and then picks back up and is healthier once the adjustment has been made. I also noticed that from one day to the next I have different levels of courage, excitement, confidence, and trust in this process. I have to continually lean back on the Lord. There are little demons that like to remind me of bad statistics of past failures etc. etc. Also, that amateur demons in training try to trick me with the same old lies that just once won't hurt a fly. The baby demons try to tell me that Heroin isn't even bad and it's just society that tells us this:). I'm still SO SO SO grateful that i'm down from that huge amount of methadone! I'm also very happy that I'm down from 234 pounds to 197. I don't crave that sugar like I use to. To everyone that is tapering lean on God because He is with you. He is with you even if you don't believe in Him.
Jason keep up the great work, yesterday was my first drop in a year, im commited to making this happen, i went from 17.5 to 15, and you are so correct are minds play tricks on us, by the nite time i was feeling off different, and i started to think wow i feel that drop already , but in truth it was just a moment , my mind was playing games,today i feel normal , i do believe it takes 2 to 3 days for the does to level out, but if i think that way im just setting myself up to look for it, i talk to ppl that said they never even felt the taper , except for the very end, im trying to get off this nasty s*** by summer, or spring for that matter. i always start to think, that i cant go down cause i cant afford to be sick, like miss work, or not be able to go to store , or take my kid somewhere. and thats what has stopped me for so long. the fear, to be honest i dont even remember what its like to be sick. or crave, i cant wait for the sugar cravings to be gone also,
anyways keep positive, im always checking the board daily , for new msgs to talk with ppl and share.
God Speed.
anyways keep positive, im always checking the board daily , for new msgs to talk with ppl and share.
God Speed.
I'm 24 years old, and was a heroin addict for 21/2 to 3 years before starting treatment at a methadone clinic. I've been going for 1 and 1/2 years now and will hopefully be done in 6 more months. After getting up to 75 and maintaining sobriety for 6 consecutive months( I struggled the first 6 months) I began dropping by 3 mgs every two weeks. I'm at 31 now and I feel confident.. The past year has been a struggle and I know it is gonna get harder during these last 30 mgs... In a few short months I will have a full year clean from heroin. That alone feels like the biggest feet in the world, but I cannot celebrate long as I will soon be tackling the last 30 mgs of my methadone taper. have scoured the Internet in hopes of learning new ideas and methods to making it a smooth transition. I have learned new coping skills during this past year helping me to slow down and take control when I feel like using. Recognizing when I am most vulnerable to relapse has been important in preventing what could be a devastating blow to my recovery. I know I have still a ways to go, but for anyone out there where I was over a year ago, be patient, but don't make excuses to use. Prayers and love to all of my brothers and sisters hurting through an addiction. Please know you aren't alone.
6mg suby's
Tomorrow I drop a 33% reduction from 6mg to 4mg. I'm counting on God to pull me through this. I know one thing that's important and it's to keep my strength, mind, body, spirit focused on today and today only. I always know I can make it through one day if it's getting hard. It's when I start fishing into the future that my entire mental state gets out of wack. Once this is all over it's just going to be another day and this time will be but the past. I know this because I can remember the days when I use to sweat so bad on methadone. It was so uncomfortable! That has been gone for quite sometime now and I rarely remember those days. I'm proud of myself right now. I'm excited and it's fun to have this goal to accomplish.
Today I'm starting to add a little more discipline to my diet. I'm down 35 pounds from last year at this time, but I want to loose this last 10 pounds! I've been lifting each week and doing the elliptical training machine and I've added tons strength. I'm no longer weak anymore like I was when on methadone eating and doing nothing physical. Once I loose this last ten pounds I'll be very lean at about 190 pounds! It's going to be nice for the spring and summer to not be embarrassed to walk on the beach with my shirt off. Last summer I was pretty embarrassed and have never been that fat before. I have pictures that I had someone take when I was that heavy. Once i'm completely off the subutex I swear I'm going to make a website about my experience. Maybe some people had a good experience with methadone, but for me it was a nightmare. I do believe if your an IV heroin junkie that CAN"T stop using then subutex for a short time is a good tool. But, apart from the cronic replaser on IV H I don't think it's a wise move. I've seen the clinic take people that have had a small pill habit for only a year. I'm sure that the good Lord will use me in the future in someway to help someone wanting their life back from methadone. It's funny how the US had me brainwashed into thinking everything is ok as long as it comes from a doctor and is legal. Oh how my beliefs, attitudes, and behavoiors have change thank God.:)
Tomorrow I drop a 33% reduction from 6mg to 4mg. I'm counting on God to pull me through this. I know one thing that's important and it's to keep my strength, mind, body, spirit focused on today and today only. I always know I can make it through one day if it's getting hard. It's when I start fishing into the future that my entire mental state gets out of wack. Once this is all over it's just going to be another day and this time will be but the past. I know this because I can remember the days when I use to sweat so bad on methadone. It was so uncomfortable! That has been gone for quite sometime now and I rarely remember those days. I'm proud of myself right now. I'm excited and it's fun to have this goal to accomplish.
Today I'm starting to add a little more discipline to my diet. I'm down 35 pounds from last year at this time, but I want to loose this last 10 pounds! I've been lifting each week and doing the elliptical training machine and I've added tons strength. I'm no longer weak anymore like I was when on methadone eating and doing nothing physical. Once I loose this last ten pounds I'll be very lean at about 190 pounds! It's going to be nice for the spring and summer to not be embarrassed to walk on the beach with my shirt off. Last summer I was pretty embarrassed and have never been that fat before. I have pictures that I had someone take when I was that heavy. Once i'm completely off the subutex I swear I'm going to make a website about my experience. Maybe some people had a good experience with methadone, but for me it was a nightmare. I do believe if your an IV heroin junkie that CAN"T stop using then subutex for a short time is a good tool. But, apart from the cronic replaser on IV H I don't think it's a wise move. I've seen the clinic take people that have had a small pill habit for only a year. I'm sure that the good Lord will use me in the future in someway to help someone wanting their life back from methadone. It's funny how the US had me brainwashed into thinking everything is ok as long as it comes from a doctor and is legal. Oh how my beliefs, attitudes, and behavoiors have change thank God.:)
Jason you hit the nail on the head, i suffer from severe anxieity , in the last month i started talking to a therapist, who has gone thru the same things i struggle with, ive learned that if i count on today , and work on today,i can make it day by day, i had the same trouble thinking ahead in the future, im one of those ppl who have to plan everything, think of all the outcomes,theres no way possible to know what life will bring us, until we are there in the moment.I have to be strong , face my fears, its not only me that counts on daily life. my beautiful daughter has been such a driving force, I will make our lives better, i will beat these demons, Good luck jason , you can do it. Btw today is day 3 on 15 so far no wds feelings whats so ever. i need to start gym or something like you have , ive gained so much weight being on methadone, keep strong my brother.
God Speed
God Speed
10mg M'done stable 10 days in!!
Well a new script for sub is inputted ...suboxone not subutex I am afraid. Not sure the dose, doc said to start small and see what works. I was not even going to try the drop to 10 mg methadone until I saw this doctor, but since I HAD finally anyway, now I am wondering if I even need to bother getting that filled? How hard could it be to take this on down to 7.5mg?? It just SEEMS like there HAS to be some point where stepping off is not very bad at all? I hate the idea of having to go deeep into withdrawal, only to waste THAT dosing back up AGAIN! I FEEL like I am on nothing now...the only kind of buzz I feel at all is from med mj which I honestly do not enjoy... except it REALLY seems to alleviate M'done withdrawals ....will be ZERO problem stopping the med mj once I am OFF all the way for a while.
I may at least hold off another week or so and then MAYBE try chewing another mess of morning glory seeds as a means to making my next drop (or step off??) ...it helped a LOT the last time.... I THINK anyway. I am NOT/ would NOT however recommend this to just anyone as there is always a chance of very bad outcome dependant on the mental health of a person. Personally I spent much of the time on this intently listening to the Bible audiobook, and also writing about my understanding of the Bible.... Which I know HAS GOT to sound bizarre to the typical ingester of psychedelic compounds who would listen to music in the forest or whatever... I was surprised I COULD do that! I thought I only would until I could not anymore but it never became difficult even...just even MORE rewarding than "normal" if anything!!
Here is a morality test I pondered a long time ago....that I should never do ANYTHING that I could not simultaneously pray to God without shame at the same time. I might add now " and/or listen to the Bible audibly at the same time"....I mean I don't KNOW but it sits ok with me right now anyway....
Well a new script for sub is inputted ...suboxone not subutex I am afraid. Not sure the dose, doc said to start small and see what works. I was not even going to try the drop to 10 mg methadone until I saw this doctor, but since I HAD finally anyway, now I am wondering if I even need to bother getting that filled? How hard could it be to take this on down to 7.5mg?? It just SEEMS like there HAS to be some point where stepping off is not very bad at all? I hate the idea of having to go deeep into withdrawal, only to waste THAT dosing back up AGAIN! I FEEL like I am on nothing now...the only kind of buzz I feel at all is from med mj which I honestly do not enjoy... except it REALLY seems to alleviate M'done withdrawals ....will be ZERO problem stopping the med mj once I am OFF all the way for a while.
I may at least hold off another week or so and then MAYBE try chewing another mess of morning glory seeds as a means to making my next drop (or step off??) ...it helped a LOT the last time.... I THINK anyway. I am NOT/ would NOT however recommend this to just anyone as there is always a chance of very bad outcome dependant on the mental health of a person. Personally I spent much of the time on this intently listening to the Bible audiobook, and also writing about my understanding of the Bible.... Which I know HAS GOT to sound bizarre to the typical ingester of psychedelic compounds who would listen to music in the forest or whatever... I was surprised I COULD do that! I thought I only would until I could not anymore but it never became difficult even...just even MORE rewarding than "normal" if anything!!
Here is a morality test I pondered a long time ago....that I should never do ANYTHING that I could not simultaneously pray to God without shame at the same time. I might add now " and/or listen to the Bible audibly at the same time"....I mean I don't KNOW but it sits ok with me right now anyway....
4mg sub
Sub's, methadone, heroin or whatever trigger the reward system in the brain. From what I read its important to build a new superhighway in the brain with other good things. Exercise on a regular basis really starts building a new highway and also releases endorphins much needed in a taper. Also, eating healthy helps with mood, mental health, and overall wellbeing.
I woke up at 1:30 this morning went back to bed and up again at 3am. I noticed that when I drop that I get up many times a night. I've been dreaming a lot lately. I think this is really good because I believe that dreaming works a lot of things out that are pent up in the subconscious.
I feel so much better overall now. I mean last year I was so fat at 235 and sleeping all day doing nothing with my life on 140mg of methadone. Now I'm attending a meeting every morning with a new set of friends and the gym where I have a bunch of people I now know. It feels nice to say hi to people and interact. In the end of my addiction I was really alone. I had a girl I was using with, but that was total hell! When I reflect back Im so grateful the chaos is over. I just want to live a simple life now like that old Lynard Skinard song...spelling???
Sub's, methadone, heroin or whatever trigger the reward system in the brain. From what I read its important to build a new superhighway in the brain with other good things. Exercise on a regular basis really starts building a new highway and also releases endorphins much needed in a taper. Also, eating healthy helps with mood, mental health, and overall wellbeing.
I woke up at 1:30 this morning went back to bed and up again at 3am. I noticed that when I drop that I get up many times a night. I've been dreaming a lot lately. I think this is really good because I believe that dreaming works a lot of things out that are pent up in the subconscious.
I feel so much better overall now. I mean last year I was so fat at 235 and sleeping all day doing nothing with my life on 140mg of methadone. Now I'm attending a meeting every morning with a new set of friends and the gym where I have a bunch of people I now know. It feels nice to say hi to people and interact. In the end of my addiction I was really alone. I had a girl I was using with, but that was total hell! When I reflect back Im so grateful the chaos is over. I just want to live a simple life now like that old Lynard Skinard song...spelling???
4mg subutex
I wanted to mention something about fear! There is no courage without fear. I use to be deathly afraid of even going into a aa meeting. I mean I would sit there in fear and would be so uncomfortable when I first got clean. I was nervous going to dinner and just normal social functioning was hard for me. My addiction had taken me so far down and I was not around normal things for a long period. I was isolated to the drug world and my self esteem was zero. Through a lot of long hard work and facing my fears head on and knowing God was with me through it all I've changed. I go to a meeting and love being there. I have friends and we laugh, say hello, and just fellowship. I share in large meetings and don't even have an ounce of fear. I mean I use to be shaking my voice and body even just to read in a meeting at first. I know as a fact that as I face my fears and anxiety about anything the fear is overcome by God's power living inside of me. It doesn't happen in an instant, but it happens. When women would look at me before I would be so uncomfortable. Now I smile and even go up and talk to them and enjoy our conversations. I just wanted to put that out there because of worrieddads comments above. One last thing is once I face my fears and overcome them it builds me stronger. I realize how strong I am and that I can face anything so long as I'm looking up to God and trusting in Him. Even if it's hard, even if i'm sweating, nervous, panic, or whatever it goes away! I'm grateful!
I wanted to mention something about fear! There is no courage without fear. I use to be deathly afraid of even going into a aa meeting. I mean I would sit there in fear and would be so uncomfortable when I first got clean. I was nervous going to dinner and just normal social functioning was hard for me. My addiction had taken me so far down and I was not around normal things for a long period. I was isolated to the drug world and my self esteem was zero. Through a lot of long hard work and facing my fears head on and knowing God was with me through it all I've changed. I go to a meeting and love being there. I have friends and we laugh, say hello, and just fellowship. I share in large meetings and don't even have an ounce of fear. I mean I use to be shaking my voice and body even just to read in a meeting at first. I know as a fact that as I face my fears and anxiety about anything the fear is overcome by God's power living inside of me. It doesn't happen in an instant, but it happens. When women would look at me before I would be so uncomfortable. Now I smile and even go up and talk to them and enjoy our conversations. I just wanted to put that out there because of worrieddads comments above. One last thing is once I face my fears and overcome them it builds me stronger. I realize how strong I am and that I can face anything so long as I'm looking up to God and trusting in Him. Even if it's hard, even if i'm sweating, nervous, panic, or whatever it goes away! I'm grateful!
Hey guys and gals, jason i recently did a methadone drop from 17.5 to 15 , and i noticed the same thing i am waking up in the middle of the night, 2 and 3 times, and also noticing the dreaming, is this normal
i had no wd symptoms from dosing down , i told myself well s*** this will be easy, my next downgrade is nxt friday. I keep telling my self its only weeks ,,till i get my life back.
Doug we are almost in the same boat, im glad to see there is someone else on the same path as me, did you feel the drop to 10mgs, and do you remember how was it when you dropped from 15 to 12? anything.
i had no wd symptoms from dosing down , i told myself well s*** this will be easy, my next downgrade is nxt friday. I keep telling my self its only weeks ,,till i get my life back.
Doug we are almost in the same boat, im glad to see there is someone else on the same path as me, did you feel the drop to 10mgs, and do you remember how was it when you dropped from 15 to 12? anything.
4mg sub
Well my sleep is a little off, but going down to 4mg i'm feeling even better now. I feel more energy, zest for life, excitement, drive, interest, and my mind is WAY sharper today than a year ago on methadone! They say methadone doesn't effect your mind, memory, or anything like that, but it's not true. My memory, mind, thoughts, and mental shape are so much better. I was talking to a guy in the subutex room that switched to sub's from methadone because he got fired from his job. He is an accountant and on methadone he couldn't do his job like he had always done before! Oh the trade off's and sacrifices people have to make going on methadone is way out of control. I saw in the past two days two handsome young guys signing up for methadone! They were way to young and put together then to get stuck on methadone. They don't know what they are getting themselves into. I think it's horrible how very few detoxes are available in our county. It's criminal that there are only like 16 beds total! Then treatment and abstinence programs are also very limited and the ones that are available are so poor. It's like the 1%ers are pushing hard for this group of folks to get hooked on pills forever so they can continue to line their pockets with cash. I see people wipping out cash all day long at the clinic paying these people. If you look at the article written up about Berry Kremlin(methadone king) the CRC CEO, you will see that like 80% of people pay in cash! I mean it's unheard of and the money is so stable because people will rob the local convienent store if they have to to get their methadone, haha! Seriously look online there is a real newspaper article about a guy who did just that. I'm going to make it off these stuff no matter what. I will not give up and throw in the towel ever.
Well my sleep is a little off, but going down to 4mg i'm feeling even better now. I feel more energy, zest for life, excitement, drive, interest, and my mind is WAY sharper today than a year ago on methadone! They say methadone doesn't effect your mind, memory, or anything like that, but it's not true. My memory, mind, thoughts, and mental shape are so much better. I was talking to a guy in the subutex room that switched to sub's from methadone because he got fired from his job. He is an accountant and on methadone he couldn't do his job like he had always done before! Oh the trade off's and sacrifices people have to make going on methadone is way out of control. I saw in the past two days two handsome young guys signing up for methadone! They were way to young and put together then to get stuck on methadone. They don't know what they are getting themselves into. I think it's horrible how very few detoxes are available in our county. It's criminal that there are only like 16 beds total! Then treatment and abstinence programs are also very limited and the ones that are available are so poor. It's like the 1%ers are pushing hard for this group of folks to get hooked on pills forever so they can continue to line their pockets with cash. I see people wipping out cash all day long at the clinic paying these people. If you look at the article written up about Berry Kremlin(methadone king) the CRC CEO, you will see that like 80% of people pay in cash! I mean it's unheard of and the money is so stable because people will rob the local convienent store if they have to to get their methadone, haha! Seriously look online there is a real newspaper article about a guy who did just that. I'm going to make it off these stuff no matter what. I will not give up and throw in the towel ever.
Hi Jason, I've been following your posts since the beginning. You have done so well. I don't even know you and I'm so proud of you! Your doing it and look at you! Did you ever imagine yourself to get this far before? My daughter wants to quit methadone and who better to follow than you! Thank you Jason you have gave hope to a lot of people who have been without it for years. Don't ever give up Jason you are almost there!! Thanks!!
4mg sub
Thank you so much for that message. I was in my meeting yesterday and I have to continue to remember how far I've come and you helped me with that. I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart I feel so much better so far!! I'm going to make it and if I don't I'll log it right here. I'm going to continue logging no matter what.
Going down I feel good, but I'm getting up really early. I know my sleep/wake cycle is all messed up anyways from methadone. It's very common and it's documented well. Lots of people on methadone fall into a multiple 24hour sleep cycle, which is not real natural. This to will work itself out over time once I'm off the done.
I'm really connected in meetings and it's so important. I have some good laughs and shoot the s___ with everyone, which I need. The gym is the same way and it's been helping me tremendously. Eating healthy is helping me to I know it. I've been hearing on the news and reading how eating and exercise really helps with mental health and everything else!
Thank you so much for that message. I was in my meeting yesterday and I have to continue to remember how far I've come and you helped me with that. I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart I feel so much better so far!! I'm going to make it and if I don't I'll log it right here. I'm going to continue logging no matter what.
Going down I feel good, but I'm getting up really early. I know my sleep/wake cycle is all messed up anyways from methadone. It's very common and it's documented well. Lots of people on methadone fall into a multiple 24hour sleep cycle, which is not real natural. This to will work itself out over time once I'm off the done.
I'm really connected in meetings and it's so important. I have some good laughs and shoot the s___ with everyone, which I need. The gym is the same way and it's been helping me tremendously. Eating healthy is helping me to I know it. I've been hearing on the news and reading how eating and exercise really helps with mental health and everything else!
Page 85 of The Big Book describes continuing recovery well:
http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_85.htm
It is so important to be reminded " We are not cured of alcoholism (addiction). What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
Stay "on the beam" . AA/NA truly is the easier, softer way for most of us.
-One day at a time-
All the best.
Bob
http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_85.htm
It is so important to be reminded " We are not cured of alcoholism (addiction). What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition."
Stay "on the beam" . AA/NA truly is the easier, softer way for most of us.
-One day at a time-
All the best.
Bob
Hi again Jason, What does The UK ,Canada Australia do for their people? Does anyone know? Isn't their medicine free? So who absorbs the cost of the methadone? The government? I don't understand it! While Berry Kremlin is making billions off the methadone users in our country how does it work in other countries? So in other countries are the people automatically weaned off the methadone to keep costs low? But in our country their kept on it to make people rich? Is this what is happening? Why can't closed schools be turned into a places to get people off drugs.. There are too many addicts now to have the space at hospitals. Something else is needed. Something like camps of some sort. They try nothing so nothing gets done about it. Sorry if I'm rambling. I just get so frustrated because of the ignorance of it all. I want my daughter better and back to how she was before all this mess. War on drugs? Where? I see no war on drugs. I only see drugs!! There's not enough getting done. Too little for too long is what's happening and so the deaths mount up. You have to continue to beat this and continue to take your life back!! Thanks for listening to me I'll climb down off my soapbox and stop ranting now. Stay with it Jason!!
4mg sub
Yup it's all about the money. Soboxone alone was like a 1.4 billion dollar business last year. Methadone is also a cash cow and they make 25% profit on that side of the business. Furthermore the treatment industry is horrible. The entire structure is a joke and again it's not changing because it's such a cash cow in our country. I found it funny hearing Mitt Romney speech against Trump. He is just as dirty and greedy, but he disguises himself in sheeps clothing really well. He has taken jobs from our people move them overseas and Bain Capital, which is Romney, bought out CRC. He left before, but he just like the rest of them. No, we are the last of developed countries where profit is the sole purpose of our healthcare industry. The insurance companies, drug companies and doctors love it. No one at that methadone clinic cares about your daughter I promise you. They may act like it, but it's about making money. They will cut you off quick if you can't pay. There has been robberies done to pay methadone tabs at these clinics. When your daughter gets off she is going to be so happy. But, she has to change her thinking, friends, hobbies, and get a spiritual life. Just not using is just the preface to the journey. I've had to really work on my tolerance, forgiveness, worry, anger, excitement, depression, and the list goes on. I have been fighting now for 7 years. But, it's been worth it because I'm a totally new man. I mean I still have the same personality, but my beliefs have change a lot. If there is one thing I would say is to just love your daughter. Have love and compassion and not ultimatums, rules, and discipline. If you just support her through her journey with love the good Lord will mold her. Sometimes that molding includes relapse. Sometimes it includes other unpleasant things, but pain I found is my biggest motivator for change. Wow, sorry for the lecture:) ha ha
I'm feeling good this morning. I'm down to 4mg and holding strong. I hope to be totally clean by my birthday in June. I'm hitting the driving range and getting lunch today with my son. I had a great meeting yesterday. I'm feeling good inside and I went the gym three days this week and walked about 3 miles the other two. I slipped up on my diet, but I'm holding strong at 197 so that's great. I woke up the other morning and was lying there in bed thinking about how grateful I was. I was grateful to be waking up in a nice clean bed, hot shower, coffee, quiet, and I realize how blessed I am. I'm going to work on having gratitude everyday all the time. I've been noticing people in wheelchairs and those with major disabilities lately. Man I'm so grateful I have good mobility and my health is good. I won't get into my gratitude list, because it's to big. I made sure to let my son know what a privileged life he has had. He listens to me I know it and I thank God I'm not that old man I was 15 years ago or 18 years ago when he was born. I was still a good dad, but didn't have the character I have today.
Yup it's all about the money. Soboxone alone was like a 1.4 billion dollar business last year. Methadone is also a cash cow and they make 25% profit on that side of the business. Furthermore the treatment industry is horrible. The entire structure is a joke and again it's not changing because it's such a cash cow in our country. I found it funny hearing Mitt Romney speech against Trump. He is just as dirty and greedy, but he disguises himself in sheeps clothing really well. He has taken jobs from our people move them overseas and Bain Capital, which is Romney, bought out CRC. He left before, but he just like the rest of them. No, we are the last of developed countries where profit is the sole purpose of our healthcare industry. The insurance companies, drug companies and doctors love it. No one at that methadone clinic cares about your daughter I promise you. They may act like it, but it's about making money. They will cut you off quick if you can't pay. There has been robberies done to pay methadone tabs at these clinics. When your daughter gets off she is going to be so happy. But, she has to change her thinking, friends, hobbies, and get a spiritual life. Just not using is just the preface to the journey. I've had to really work on my tolerance, forgiveness, worry, anger, excitement, depression, and the list goes on. I have been fighting now for 7 years. But, it's been worth it because I'm a totally new man. I mean I still have the same personality, but my beliefs have change a lot. If there is one thing I would say is to just love your daughter. Have love and compassion and not ultimatums, rules, and discipline. If you just support her through her journey with love the good Lord will mold her. Sometimes that molding includes relapse. Sometimes it includes other unpleasant things, but pain I found is my biggest motivator for change. Wow, sorry for the lecture:) ha ha
I'm feeling good this morning. I'm down to 4mg and holding strong. I hope to be totally clean by my birthday in June. I'm hitting the driving range and getting lunch today with my son. I had a great meeting yesterday. I'm feeling good inside and I went the gym three days this week and walked about 3 miles the other two. I slipped up on my diet, but I'm holding strong at 197 so that's great. I woke up the other morning and was lying there in bed thinking about how grateful I was. I was grateful to be waking up in a nice clean bed, hot shower, coffee, quiet, and I realize how blessed I am. I'm going to work on having gratitude everyday all the time. I've been noticing people in wheelchairs and those with major disabilities lately. Man I'm so grateful I have good mobility and my health is good. I won't get into my gratitude list, because it's to big. I made sure to let my son know what a privileged life he has had. He listens to me I know it and I thank God I'm not that old man I was 15 years ago or 18 years ago when he was born. I was still a good dad, but didn't have the character I have today.
