Okay I have not quit, still going strong! (if anyone is following my progress) Last quarter of the THIRD day at only 10mg and just what? 8 days since I started this push! STILL waiting for the the other shoe to drop but still holding! Though I DO confess I can feel the edges of withdraw and therefore I am not foolish enough to think I can handle another huge drop in a few days. ESPECIALLY because for the next three days we will entertain the whole family which is going to be a stress out. But if I HAVE TO, I am prepared to use an extra 2 1/2mg per day if that is what it takes,
6mg subutex
Your doing great and you are in as much withdraw as you are going to feel at this point I would guess. Some of us have a harder time and all our bodies are different. I lived and shot heroin with a girl for years and if we were stark out I would be puking, diareha every second, sweating, filled with chills, anxiety, and going nuts. Her symptoms were always half of what mine were. I will also get bitten from every misketo, flee or bedbug(shelter). Our bodies are just plain different. Count yourself blessed with regards to this and thank the good Lord.
Your doing great and you are in as much withdraw as you are going to feel at this point I would guess. Some of us have a harder time and all our bodies are different. I lived and shot heroin with a girl for years and if we were stark out I would be puking, diareha every second, sweating, filled with chills, anxiety, and going nuts. Her symptoms were always half of what mine were. I will also get bitten from every misketo, flee or bedbug(shelter). Our bodies are just plain different. Count yourself blessed with regards to this and thank the good Lord.
Well my latest drop increment has NOT survived the stress of being with all my kids and grandkids. It is amazing how stress so directly affects this flesh! Throws me right into withdrawls repeatedly. So far I am able to at least stay near my goal original goal of 15mg. approx, I am not altogether sure because I broke off extra 1/4 pills to keep going so it might have even been more toward 17.5mg total for yesterday...funny but when I sneak off to cool quiet bedroom with my elderly dog and just relax and let my mind refrain from the world, praying and meditating ALL the stress of my body evaporates along with the withdrawls ... I THINK it would be SO SO much easier for a person like myself to do this alone rather than around a bunch of people...EVEN those that love me...if that makes sense to anyone?? As wonderful warm and fun as it is to be all under one roof with my family for a weekend, it was really bad timing for ME and what I am trying to accomplish. Lord willing it is simply a three day hiccup, and I can pick back up with my confidence and continue.
It makes me realize that I am no where near as strong as i FELT I was, but I have learned long ago not to put much confidence in what I simply emotionally FEEL at a given moment.
It makes me realize that I am no where near as strong as i FELT I was, but I have learned long ago not to put much confidence in what I simply emotionally FEEL at a given moment.
Jason I am just like you are when it comes to bugs! You know those gnats that get all in a person's face around lakes and stuff? There will be a whole group of people totally unbothered by them and yet no matter what I do the swarm is on ME! Same with fleas, I swear they hop off of a dog and on to me every time! Mosquitos give me no peace unless I cover myself in deet...another person is like "WHAT mosquitos?"
6mg sub
Yup! I once moved in with my best friend after high school. His woman moved out then I moved in, but they had had two cats. Well, he didn't get a single bite as she didn't either. I had like fifty bites on my lower legs from the apartment. It was crazy! Every bug loves my body. I mean I think it's good because girls love it to, but you know what i'm talking about (haha).
I feel better and am going to hit 4mg soon! Going to church this morning and have been praying a lot. I've been going to lots of meetings and working out. My eating is not as extreme, but I'm still weighing in at 199! I was at 235 when on the high dose of methadone. The devil tries to tell me I'll never make it, but I know where those lies are coming from. If your not a believer call it your disease that tells you those things. Basically I have to learn to NOT listen to the lies.
Yup! I once moved in with my best friend after high school. His woman moved out then I moved in, but they had had two cats. Well, he didn't get a single bite as she didn't either. I had like fifty bites on my lower legs from the apartment. It was crazy! Every bug loves my body. I mean I think it's good because girls love it to, but you know what i'm talking about (haha).
I feel better and am going to hit 4mg soon! Going to church this morning and have been praying a lot. I've been going to lots of meetings and working out. My eating is not as extreme, but I'm still weighing in at 199! I was at 235 when on the high dose of methadone. The devil tries to tell me I'll never make it, but I know where those lies are coming from. If your not a believer call it your disease that tells you those things. Basically I have to learn to NOT listen to the lies.
Well done Jason. I was on methadone for 22 year. Over the past roughly 2 year I reduced down from 60 @ 5ml per month. Until 15. Switched to subutex(UK) 8.0mg reduced over 10 months. Until 10 days ago I took my last 0.4mg. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. I tried to come off methadone about 10 year ago step off at 20ml it was a nightmare. I have found this method of long term and small amounts. Having a good key worker is also a bonus he let me control my reduction. If i felt it was to quick and was feeling a bit fragile I would pause for a few weeks. Then pick back up once the body adjusts. Just keep plugging away Jason. I wish you all the very best of luck. Don't count the days. Make the days count. I'm still feeling rough but it's bearable. Smoke a wee bit weed befor bed to try relax. I created a huge fear of being strung out. But it was all exaggerated in my head. The withdrawal itself is weak but we are stronger. Fight it like a prize fighter would. Knock it the fk out.
Well I survived three days in a mountain cabin with every one of my grown children including spouses and my grandkids, not to mention 3 large dogs! Big fun very nice, but MAN did it stress me out, throwing me right into withdrawal symptoms that I simply could not ignore! But the GOOD news there is that I STILL maintained the original goal of my last drop which was to stabilize at 15mg per day! YAY! It was disapointed to give up my two day foothold in the 10mg per day region but oh well, I STILL succeeded! Maybe like mountain climbing where you planned goal is 300ft in a day but once you get climbing you are so sure you can do 600ft , but at the end of the day because of unforeseen whatever you "only" do 300ft ...well success supersedes the failure to exceed the original goal. progress is progress and good is good! ...no? To God be the glory...wherever there really is any glory
Okay, so had left a message with my Doctor's assistant asking for an appointment in order to switch to subutex or suboxone ,because I keep reading success stories using such as the final push in tapering all the way free. So several hours later she calls me back saying "sorry doctor won't do that as it makes no sense being the same basic thing as methadone" But she DID refer me to a pain specialist who I called to make an appointment with. Before setting the appointment I made sure that this assistant I was speaking with verified that this doctor HAS used this regime with certain patients. So that is good enough encouragement to see this doctor. Well that will be just shy of a couple weeks from now so I will continue (Lord willing) to edge downward on my Mdone dosage... I am confident, ( if my life remains peaceful ) that I can stabilize down to 10mg per day by then...hopefully that will be far enough down I can switch to the sub without much difficulty?
Any helpful thoughts or suggestions for me? Anyone?
Any helpful thoughts or suggestions for me? Anyone?
Also, though I stopped smoking pot many many years ago, it sounds appealing to me to now at bedtime. All I need to do is get a line on buying "medical marijuana" as I have never done that...or else maybe pain doc will spare me resorting to smoking the stuff and simply write me an RX for Marinol pills? My dad had a single RX for them but he was dying ...hopefully that is not the only medical condition that warrants an RX for the pills...
Subutex 6mg
I just feel so much better. From the time I was on 140mg of methadone and now on 6mg of sub's I feel amazing. I feel alive again. I didn't realize how much that methadone was killing me slowly. I can't wait to be free from it all. I'm going to go hiking in the mountains this summer for days alone! It's going to be awesome and I have all the equipment. I'm going to fish and read and be with the good Lord up there.
I've been eating well again and going to the gym! I have before pictures when I was 235 pounds and I'm now at 197 to 199 on any given day! I'm not hungry and craving all those sugars and carbs now that I'm only on subutex and not methadone. I have about 10 more pounds to lose now to be really lean. I'd like to be off subutex and a lean machine by summer time! Not to show off, but just to feel good about myself. When I'm taking care of my body it makes a huge difference. Body, mind, and spirit and I've been focused on them all!!
Thanks for the posts you all. Good work on doing all that family stuff and staying strong. It's hard to function in those environments when tapering.
I'm NOT sweating and hot all day anymore now that I'm off methadone. It feels so good to not have that everyday now. I have some hot flashes still from the subutex, which will be gone when I'm off. When I do my cardio I sweat like a mad man. I know that will go away also because when I did that rapid detox I went and did cardio and barely sweat at all. My testosterone is back also. I've gone down to only 25 a week from 125 a week when on methadone. My T levels are at 600 6 days after my injection of that low dose!!!! It's such a blessing and once I'm fully off of the subutex I will just stop taking it. My mood has been getting better and better ever since going down off methadone. My feelings have come back big time! My feelings for my family and friends and just plain being alive are 100 times better.
It's worth the journey and struggle to get off for anyone that has come to that point in their replacement therapy.
I just feel so much better. From the time I was on 140mg of methadone and now on 6mg of sub's I feel amazing. I feel alive again. I didn't realize how much that methadone was killing me slowly. I can't wait to be free from it all. I'm going to go hiking in the mountains this summer for days alone! It's going to be awesome and I have all the equipment. I'm going to fish and read and be with the good Lord up there.
I've been eating well again and going to the gym! I have before pictures when I was 235 pounds and I'm now at 197 to 199 on any given day! I'm not hungry and craving all those sugars and carbs now that I'm only on subutex and not methadone. I have about 10 more pounds to lose now to be really lean. I'd like to be off subutex and a lean machine by summer time! Not to show off, but just to feel good about myself. When I'm taking care of my body it makes a huge difference. Body, mind, and spirit and I've been focused on them all!!
Thanks for the posts you all. Good work on doing all that family stuff and staying strong. It's hard to function in those environments when tapering.
I'm NOT sweating and hot all day anymore now that I'm off methadone. It feels so good to not have that everyday now. I have some hot flashes still from the subutex, which will be gone when I'm off. When I do my cardio I sweat like a mad man. I know that will go away also because when I did that rapid detox I went and did cardio and barely sweat at all. My testosterone is back also. I've gone down to only 25 a week from 125 a week when on methadone. My T levels are at 600 6 days after my injection of that low dose!!!! It's such a blessing and once I'm fully off of the subutex I will just stop taking it. My mood has been getting better and better ever since going down off methadone. My feelings have come back big time! My feelings for my family and friends and just plain being alive are 100 times better.
It's worth the journey and struggle to get off for anyone that has come to that point in their replacement therapy.
Thank You so much Jason for speaking/sharing yourself here (as well as the others) there is so much therapy and encouragement in hearing things right from real people with the same troubles, rather than simply medical studies and whatnot. It allows me to put more pressure towards a victory in this and somehow even a strange obligation to keep posting myself because I would never want anyone to simply think I failed if I stopped posting...does that make sense? I am resolved to DO THIS (LORD willing....always "Lord willing" lest I become too proud) As I read in the Proverbs 27:1 Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth." Even though most important to that (and all Scripture) I am overwhelmingly persuaded is the more hidden "Spiritual" things...Nevertheless even the superficial/surface often appears in plain logic as well
Do you feel it is easier to come off subs then it was methadone, ive been debating what and how to come off , a slow detox or just go cold turkey , im on 17mg of methadone, ive watched alot of videos of both detox, is there a better succes rate with subs, i went to talk to a therapist to just help with my recent burst of anxiety , and she once used methadone, she told me wow your low it will be easy to come off , she said she went down to 2mg and then off , and barely had any wds.
I was reading your guys stories , and then looked into the sub.
I was reading your guys stories , and then looked into the sub.
Worried dad. In my experience the subs defo worked better for me. I've posted above my dealings with both methadone and subs. Keeping occupied helps I work self employed landscaper. Some days I couldn't face the day but got up and took it on head on. Self determination and self belief is key. Your on a low enough dose of meth to make the switch. Probably about 8.0mgs of subs. Obviously that's a decision between you n your doctor/key worker. I'm in Scotland and through the NHS (National Health Service) allocated a key worker linked with an addictions doctor. I was given the tools and am making good use of them. Good luck. Don't count the days make them count.
Jason, I'm glad your in a good spot rights now and the summer hiking trip I can only IMAGINE how wonderful that will be. I've always loved the outdoors, but once off methadone the appreciatuon for nature and beauty is THAT much intensified. Almost a high in itself. Also your comment about family and friends..I avoided so many true friends and family members to an extent while on. Once off the reaching out and appreciation of them came back. I'm so happy for you!
6mg sub
Thanks everyone for the comments. Yes, sub's are easier. I have been on them before and got off and stayed clean a year. I have been on methadone for over 5 years and did the switch to sub's from 49mg to 14mg subs. Once I started going down on sub's it's been much easier than when I was reducing on methadone. Unless a miracle is happening you are going to feel every drop and when you finial do the last drop you are going to face withdrawal. There is no way around it, but it's 100 percent true that the withdrawal with go away in time:). The mental part is the hardest for me. It's my mind and my thinking that get crazy when I'm withdrawing.
I have started some new projects. I'm getting interested in life and some different things again. I'm sticking with eating well, working out, meetings, church, and family. This is going really well. I'm not rushing the taper because I want to stable out really well before each drop. I noticed my libido is really returning a lot. I mean I'm in starbucks yesterday and some woman comes in and it just shocked me. I mean it was spontaneous attraction and my body felt it to.
I wonder what a nero scientist would say about flooding the brain every day and saturating it with an opiate. I've started to feel again! I mean it's wonderful to feel feelings like I am again. My love for my son and family has intensified. My feelings for others situations and my connection to others in meetings has grown. I noticed I'm laughing and finding stuff funny again. This has been a long journey there is no dought about that! I'd have to say that it's made me really strong. Once I'm finished with this I don't believe there is anything I can't make it through. Loosing my brother to overdose was the worst pain I've ever experienced and God has pulled me through that sudden shock. I'm grateful that I have been gifted with such faith in Christ. Faith is a gift I believe and it's my saving grace from my troubles, pain, shame, guilt, suffering and gives me hope. I know I get to see my bro again someday.
Im not scared of using again. I've relapsed so many times in my life. It's actually been a learning experience. I realize that shooting dope isn't as great as I always made it out to be in my mind. I always did it for that original rush and that's just not worth the consequences for me anymore. I ran my entire life using and drinking and having sex and partying. I did this as my other friends slowly built normal lives with families. I tried the family thing and had a great career, but just couldn't live life normally. I wanted excitement and women and drugs and wildness. That desire has finally receded and I've learned to just slow down and enjoy a day. I'm finally realizing I don't have to always have excitement to make life good.
Lastly, recovery is like a redwood seedling in the forest. It takes a long long time to grow. But, it grows strong. I know God isn't worried about how quickly I grow He cares about how strong I grow. I know that He has plans to use me to help others in this life! I love that feeling and love helping others it feeds my spirit.
Thanks everyone for the comments. Yes, sub's are easier. I have been on them before and got off and stayed clean a year. I have been on methadone for over 5 years and did the switch to sub's from 49mg to 14mg subs. Once I started going down on sub's it's been much easier than when I was reducing on methadone. Unless a miracle is happening you are going to feel every drop and when you finial do the last drop you are going to face withdrawal. There is no way around it, but it's 100 percent true that the withdrawal with go away in time:). The mental part is the hardest for me. It's my mind and my thinking that get crazy when I'm withdrawing.
I have started some new projects. I'm getting interested in life and some different things again. I'm sticking with eating well, working out, meetings, church, and family. This is going really well. I'm not rushing the taper because I want to stable out really well before each drop. I noticed my libido is really returning a lot. I mean I'm in starbucks yesterday and some woman comes in and it just shocked me. I mean it was spontaneous attraction and my body felt it to.
I wonder what a nero scientist would say about flooding the brain every day and saturating it with an opiate. I've started to feel again! I mean it's wonderful to feel feelings like I am again. My love for my son and family has intensified. My feelings for others situations and my connection to others in meetings has grown. I noticed I'm laughing and finding stuff funny again. This has been a long journey there is no dought about that! I'd have to say that it's made me really strong. Once I'm finished with this I don't believe there is anything I can't make it through. Loosing my brother to overdose was the worst pain I've ever experienced and God has pulled me through that sudden shock. I'm grateful that I have been gifted with such faith in Christ. Faith is a gift I believe and it's my saving grace from my troubles, pain, shame, guilt, suffering and gives me hope. I know I get to see my bro again someday.
Im not scared of using again. I've relapsed so many times in my life. It's actually been a learning experience. I realize that shooting dope isn't as great as I always made it out to be in my mind. I always did it for that original rush and that's just not worth the consequences for me anymore. I ran my entire life using and drinking and having sex and partying. I did this as my other friends slowly built normal lives with families. I tried the family thing and had a great career, but just couldn't live life normally. I wanted excitement and women and drugs and wildness. That desire has finally receded and I've learned to just slow down and enjoy a day. I'm finally realizing I don't have to always have excitement to make life good.
Lastly, recovery is like a redwood seedling in the forest. It takes a long long time to grow. But, it grows strong. I know God isn't worried about how quickly I grow He cares about how strong I grow. I know that He has plans to use me to help others in this life! I love that feeling and love helping others it feeds my spirit.
I know that this journaling has been healthy for my recovery. I heard a guy in my meeting yesterday talk about how journaling helped him...
I think journaling is healthy .. going to meetings is even healthier.
papa bear, around here they frown at you going to aa/na meetings while still using methadone.
i have a good friend who is in what they call saturday nighters, and as long as im still on , they dont accept me.
i have a good friend who is in what they call saturday nighters, and as long as im still on , they dont accept me.
6mg sub
I go to meetings everyday. If you are taking a medication that is prescribed by a doctor and you are taking it as prescribed then you don't have to tell anyone. I believe it's so important to go to meetings and really work a recovery program when on therapy. Being clean is about a complete psychic change. A change in our thinking, actions, behavior, and most importantly our beliefs that are so wrong sometimes. I believe in replacement therapy as a tool to be used for a brief amount of time to help the chronic relapse get a program started and in place. It helps me everyday and I'm not going to share that I'm on replacement therapy. It's from a doctor and I'm getting off and i'm not abusing it. Dealing with life on life's terms thinking less about ourselves and more about others etc etc etc, gets instilled in your mind when going to meetings weekly. Church and reading certain litature helps a lot also. Most people in aa and na are ignorant and uneducated so they don't understand that there is value in replacement therapy. But, with that said it's harder than hell to get off compared to H.
I go to meetings everyday. If you are taking a medication that is prescribed by a doctor and you are taking it as prescribed then you don't have to tell anyone. I believe it's so important to go to meetings and really work a recovery program when on therapy. Being clean is about a complete psychic change. A change in our thinking, actions, behavior, and most importantly our beliefs that are so wrong sometimes. I believe in replacement therapy as a tool to be used for a brief amount of time to help the chronic relapse get a program started and in place. It helps me everyday and I'm not going to share that I'm on replacement therapy. It's from a doctor and I'm getting off and i'm not abusing it. Dealing with life on life's terms thinking less about ourselves and more about others etc etc etc, gets instilled in your mind when going to meetings weekly. Church and reading certain litature helps a lot also. Most people in aa and na are ignorant and uneducated so they don't understand that there is value in replacement therapy. But, with that said it's harder than hell to get off compared to H.
Hi Jason, I stumbled onto your journal when I googled Aromatherapy for Addiction and it led me to this site. I wonder if essential oils would be of any benefit for helping you through your taper and if any of them would be useful for your sleep and or anxiety issues. It seems like you're good at researching stuff so I thought I would share this idea with you. By the way, are you in Seattle? Take Care and I am so happy you are in a better place now. Here are a few you might want to check out.
I think it would be amazing if these could be used in recovery treatment.
I think it would be amazing if these could be used in recovery treatment.
