Well the regulars here know i was on methadone about a year. Been off 2 and half ish years. Anyhow I'm feeling a real need to go back to the clinic. I have not went back to heroin but, i've been using benzos maybe year now. I am having a hard time kicking them. I used a oxycottin IV last month. I've been going on 3 weeks without anything "except beer". I am starting to feel I need methadone bad. I've thought this before it has always passed. I am not sure I can get by drug free. I now have things at real risk If I can't stay clean. I have to pay out of pocket for methadone "i'm in the states". I know my fiance would be totally against it. I also know he don't know how bad things are. He has no clue I use something all the time. He did not know a 10 pack of needles was in our house. Just not sure what to do I am not doing well without methadone not so sure I should go back. This addiction sucks It never ends. This benzo kick is doing my head in. I'm acually having methadone clinic dreams. I know to get in the clinic i have to have a dirty test. I am starting to think it's a good ideal to go back. I have tried I can't keep me clean. I've tried to score H twice and got my money took and some fake dope. It kills me I don't understand it. I am thinking the methadone clinic worked better then this mess i've got myself into.
Hey Zerogirl...:) Those benzos did my head in...what a trip...never again...I went on the methadone for the same reasons...there are days when I wish I hadnt but for the most part, like you..I know Im not going to stay clean without it...if your already trying to score....thats a bad sign...question though...did you ride when you were on the methadone too ? or did you play it by the rules. My opinion is if you were topping off on the methadone when you were on it then going back on it wouldnt do much good...Id probably say get to meeting ...if you were using the methadone program without using on top of it...and your feeling like your going to go back out wihtout it...then ya...get back on it..better to be on the meth than to be out on the streets trying to score again...thats always russian roulette...better for your bf if he knew that you would be at least safe and stable on the meth than out and getting something bad...just my opinion. Stange isnt it ?...Im even on the methadone and been thinking about it latley too...guess it really doesnt ever go away...take care
Con
Con
constantine ty for the reply you said my thoughts. When I was on methadone I never used on top of it plus the clinic I was in will detox you out with 3 dirty test. I was under a order from childrens protective services a dirty drug test would have looked terrible for me at court so I never used while on methadone however it was kinda because i had big brother looking out after me. This time if I went back i would be doing it without childrens services. I do agree it's better then doing street drugs i honest to God felt more stable and sane on it i also know the pain in the butt it can be to be on. I'm still not so sure if i lived alone i'ld be back on today. I don't want my family to know i'm sill screwing up.
Ya, it would definetly be up on you this time around to stay honest and not use on top...ya know...maybe the sqabble with your family wouldnt be that big...maybe just grit your teeth and get it over with?...would you even have to say you have been using....wouldnt just...having the cravings again...not sure etc be enough ?...or ...well...its always better to level with them...get it out and be honest I think...and hey, when it comes right down to it, its YOUR life...you have to do whats good for YOU or you wont be able to do whats good for anyone then, family included. I vote for tell them, get it over with and then just go do it....ZG, theres too much nasty s*** out there to play that game anymore...and youve been doing good...hell, I"m sure I wouldnt have made it a month without the methadone...and look at you...Youve been hanging in there without pretty much anythng and doing alright...tell them ZG...its WAY better for you..:) Respect
BTW, maybe you wouldnt have to have a dirty test this time round, maybe past history would help and you could get back on the program ?..ya, I know...slim chance...but what the hell, you could ask ...Maybe Davey and Amity might know a way ...:)
Con
BTW, maybe you wouldnt have to have a dirty test this time round, maybe past history would help and you could get back on the program ?..ya, I know...slim chance...but what the hell, you could ask ...Maybe Davey and Amity might know a way ...:)
Con
Just stopping in to tell ya you know you have my support, honey.
My dear Zero Girl!
My dear Zero Girl!
ZG~
If you are covered by health insurance then why do you have to pay out of pocket? If this is a medical necessity to you this makes no sense. I worked closely with health insurers in the 1990s and medical necessity was the gold standard - in other words, if a doc prescribed it, you got it. I don't understand...can you explain why you can't get it. I just read an article about how many more GPs and family docs are prescribing methadone for pain, why wouldn't it be available to recovering addicts? Educate me...
Take care of yourself~M&M
If you are covered by health insurance then why do you have to pay out of pocket? If this is a medical necessity to you this makes no sense. I worked closely with health insurers in the 1990s and medical necessity was the gold standard - in other words, if a doc prescribed it, you got it. I don't understand...can you explain why you can't get it. I just read an article about how many more GPs and family docs are prescribing methadone for pain, why wouldn't it be available to recovering addicts? Educate me...
Take care of yourself~M&M
momnmore great question. I'll try to break it down as best as it's been explained to me. Yes. it is true you can get methadone paid for PAIN. My brother gets methadone paid for because he has a pain issue. Insurence will cover it in the states for pain ONLY. Most insurance company's do not cover drug treatment mehadone for addiction. My insurance is a HMO which is the WORST for covarage they do put strict limits on everything medical. the insurance company may simply choose to not cover certain treatments, when there is another treatment available for the illness/medical condition. For these reasons and others, most HMOs do not cover methadone treatment.Generally, medication dispensed by the treatment provider is not covered under "prescription drug benefits" addicts get methadone at a clinic so it won't be at a pharmacy. It's on site meds gave daily so it's usually not covered. Most insurance policy has a limit on the number of outpatient substance abuse treatment sessions per year no way they will cover a daily visit to a clinic. If my family doctor wrote my script YES i could get it covered but, doctors here DO NOT write methadone for addiction treatment they refer you to a methadone clinic. My doctor would have to write methadone as for PAIN i have no medical reason for my doc to do that so I get refered to a addiction clinic where my insurence won't pay. However much a headache the cost of methadone is anywhere from $12-15 dollars a day depending on the clinic 12-15 dollars is way less then a addiction to any illeagl drugs. Methadone is cheap it would cost less if you got a script from a pharmacy. The cost is the same no matter the dose. Someone getting 30mg pays the same as one getting 150mg. Usually there is a $75-100 dollar cost for the very 1st visit then it's just the daily cost after that. It's not unreasonable acually but, it is still a pain to deal with.
Here is a link that gives better detailshttp://www.methadonetoday.org/v4_n11.htm
Here is a link that gives better detailshttp://www.methadonetoday.org/v4_n11.htm
Thank you, ZG...you and the article both very helpful in sorting this out. Hmmmm....guess they just don't get it...rather than treat addicts because they (the insurance companies) are private entities, they prefer to foist off addiction onto the public sector so we all pay for it. Any fool can see it's a pay-now-or-pay-later situation and it only damages society as a whole to keep making it someone else's problem...we're all paying sooner or later.
I could not agree more that the system is totally crazy.
Also the state I live has a public clinic "of sots" that has a cap of 60mg it has a waiting list 1.5 years long it is income based I don't know a single soul that has got in i know several people who applied and have waited. I tried so long to get it there that i gave up. I got into a privite clinic no waiting but, i had to drive out of state about 1 hour drive each way and pay the WHOLE cost with no wait and no state cap on dosage. It's a real hassle to get on a program that helps with cost they put dose caps that's if your lucky enough to quilify. By paying out of pocket you get a whole let better service and your hands are not tied when it comes to choices about dose and there is no wait. Like most things in the USA you get what ya pay for.
Also the state I live has a public clinic "of sots" that has a cap of 60mg it has a waiting list 1.5 years long it is income based I don't know a single soul that has got in i know several people who applied and have waited. I tried so long to get it there that i gave up. I got into a privite clinic no waiting but, i had to drive out of state about 1 hour drive each way and pay the WHOLE cost with no wait and no state cap on dosage. It's a real hassle to get on a program that helps with cost they put dose caps that's if your lucky enough to quilify. By paying out of pocket you get a whole let better service and your hands are not tied when it comes to choices about dose and there is no wait. Like most things in the USA you get what ya pay for.
sorry for buttin in girls but i,d just like to say i really feel for you.i like to think im kind,loyal,good hearted andso on and i,d bet most of u r also,so what the f*** did we all do to get dealt this s***ty hand,f*** me,i dont need wealth or material things just a bit of happiness and contentness..i try,try,try and i aint no way accepting this is my life,i.ll never give in trying,sorry for the ramble but it,s just how i feel,oh and btw,fcuk the price of oil too...ECK
I pay out of pocket for the methadone. I also get scripts for the week and I pay out of pocket for those too. My insurance wont cover it. This scripts for the week take homes is way less to pay. The clinic that I must go to at least once a week to stay in the program charges more for the one dose. So its true even over here and even with private medical german insurance. and its all the damn oils fault like eck says lol ! ;)
Just thought I'd butt in too.
Con
I think I also want to ramble on a bit too this morning if you all dont mind...Im on leave and have the time...ha ha...methadone....ya know lately its been a real love hate thing for me...the sluggishness, the nods , all the freakin side effects...and my legs seem to hurt like hell in the morning latly too..dont know if thats the methadone or not..and yet, Im glad for the methadone...really...just wonder if you ever really get a stable dose or if you continually go up on it...some days im so glad to have it and some days im so tired of it...and the wds of course scare the crap out of me just thinking about it...so its a big love hate thing for me right now...wouldnt give it up though, it really IS keeping me on the straight and narrow somehow...but anyways...just my friendly rant today...thanks for listening :)
Con
Just thought I'd butt in too.
Con
I think I also want to ramble on a bit too this morning if you all dont mind...Im on leave and have the time...ha ha...methadone....ya know lately its been a real love hate thing for me...the sluggishness, the nods , all the freakin side effects...and my legs seem to hurt like hell in the morning latly too..dont know if thats the methadone or not..and yet, Im glad for the methadone...really...just wonder if you ever really get a stable dose or if you continually go up on it...some days im so glad to have it and some days im so tired of it...and the wds of course scare the crap out of me just thinking about it...so its a big love hate thing for me right now...wouldnt give it up though, it really IS keeping me on the straight and narrow somehow...but anyways...just my friendly rant today...thanks for listening :)
Con
Get a on dose that you feel comfortable on. A dose that wont stop you from the activities that you like to do. Methadone ,if your not on the right dose is counterproductive.
It should take away the cravings, enough to block the effects of heroin, yet it shouldn't make ya lasy and feel sleepy all the time.
Work with your doctor (I dont think the counselors care enough or have enough experience) -
It's not for everyone- but usually when its done right, & you find your dosage, you,ll be surprised how little you even think about - Hell I drink my dose in the AM -& it doesn't even enter my mind for the rest of the day. Usually I only think about it on Fridays- the day I pick up 6 bottles.
Youwillbefine,
jack
It should take away the cravings, enough to block the effects of heroin, yet it shouldn't make ya lasy and feel sleepy all the time.
Work with your doctor (I dont think the counselors care enough or have enough experience) -
It's not for everyone- but usually when its done right, & you find your dosage, you,ll be surprised how little you even think about - Hell I drink my dose in the AM -& it doesn't even enter my mind for the rest of the day. Usually I only think about it on Fridays- the day I pick up 6 bottles.
Youwillbefine,
jack
Just thought i,d add that over here they dont payfor their scripts..Eck...
ZG......i can totally identify with you.....im on methd.7yrs.as most of you know.....i must admit it gives me a feeling of well being,more energy and more relaxed.....so heroin doesnt usually come into the equation.....only when im picking up my takehomes at the clinic and am being offered some .....then i have to be determined and say nope.Methadone has become a way of life........as Jack says take it and dont even think about it till the next day.Im not on a comparitivaly high dose 80ml......but if it keeps me on the straight and narrow so be it.I really think yer health system sucks as you might say!!!!!.As Eck said over here in Ireland its free but you will rarely get anyone on over 120ml.ive heard of folks in the U.S on crazy doses of 200ml/mg or more ...no addict needs that amount......it will just dope you out totally.Sorry for the ramble .....ZG i hope things work out for you somehow..........take care.....Davey
Davey: i've heard of high doses like that also 200mg+. I was on 130 which is kinda high. I know I did not need 130 i would nod out all the time. TY to everyone for your thoughts and input. I think for right now I'm going to see how things go. I'm over the benzo kick feeling better still drinking to much eating to much i know i've gained weight getting off xanax. Anytime i try to get drug free i eat like non stop it's so retarded. I think i could acually pass a drug test now "maybe" . I have a certificate in the health department feild if i failed a work drug test it would be reported to the state i would no longer be allowed to work in the health care system. So methadone might not acually be a option at all. I may still end up at the clinic even at the risk of losing my certificate I am not so sure how long I can get by. I know for right now i'm not ready to own up that drugs are such a HUGE issue for me. I'ld rather keep it to myself i'm acually a very personal privite person. The people i know don't know me. I quit going to see A counslor i never told her nothing. So pointless so self defeating my own worst enemy.
good luck zg been dabbling for 20yrs monkey on my back for last 6yrs been clean on meth for while now really sympathise with you! good luck ade
