Miss Jane

So how is your taper going? Do you spend your time obsessing about how long it is till your next cig? I always did. Does time seem to drag on forever until you can light up? Am I giving you s***? Uh huh.
LLOLOLLLLLL ! You can always be counted on. Yes at times I have obsessed, there is no doubt. I might add that I am using this as an experiment as well, and that was part of it. To see how much I actually do think of cigarettes. I was talking to my mom about it and describing it. (She is not a smoker, but my dad is) She said well you probably didn't think that much about it before. It's like the chicken or the Egg.
Needless to say I am doing alright. I have had 2 today. But I decided I didn't need one at lunch, because I had no physical want ya know headache, heart race, spazing out in general. So I didn't have one. I came back to my office and instantly started to have all those symptoms. I just barely started chewing on a piece of Nic gum. So I feel better. It's surprising it works.
Also I have noticed that by limiting my intake the taste worse. I also notice my inner envy at those who are smoking without worry. But I just keep telling myself I can have one if I want it, but do I want it? Today at lunch and just for the last 5.5 hours I am not smoking. I am not sure what will happen later.

How about you? Of course your my hero and your strong.

And of course my continued need is for you to keep giving me s***.. until I can't take it anymore and you win.
Thanks buddy.
Yesterday was bad today is easy. LOL It's insane the way it changes from day to day. I was playing around with my patch dosage and almost screwed up because the cravings got so bad. I went and bought nic gum and that didn't help so I broke down and bought some more step 2 patches. My God, Jane, I got so spacey I felt like I had smoked a joint. I felt TERRIBLE. So I have learned my lesson. Lesson 1-do not cut patches in half. Lesson 2-don't be in a big hurry to get off the patches. Heck, I may decide to stay on the patch for the rest of my life. LOL
Oh I hear ya. I am not having too tuff of a day today. But yesterday at times, (and this is just so far) My eyes feel blurry and my head was incredibly swimmy. My pulse races uncontrolably and I do not know what to do with my hands. (Have you seen talladega nights? It's like when Ricky Bobby gets a television interview for the first time) But like you I am trying not to get in too big of a hurry. Anyways my mom told me there was no time line. Unlike YOU! LOL.
I did think of you when she said it and told her about you. Of course she now knows about my mysterious online friend. Who wants me to quit. But do take my mom's advice. As we all know slow and steady wins the race. I am retarded without my nicotine. But it wasn't too long ago that I was retarded without a pill. Why does this seem harder? Mind over matter right. Hang tuff. We are bigger than this. (I haven't even quit yet I can't belive I am actings this way)