Traci, Yes, that was one of them.
I am very glad that you and Lisa have reached a level of understanding, and are still able to get along! LOL Really, that is what it takes sometimes, forcing yourself to see the good in the other person and trying to ignore those things you may not like. Whatever it takes, the important thing is that you kept trying.
I am like you, and the tough love, smart a** approach never worked for me either. I know there are times when it is the only weapon to use, but it is not my preferred way. But that's just me, and when it comes to addiction the general rules of life are not always the one's best suited to use.
I forgive you too Carol.
Traci, I just want you to know that I am so grateful that you and I were able to move past that horrible stuff. You have come so far and it's been a pleasure to watch you grow.
Traci, I just want you to know that I am so grateful that you and I were able to move past that horrible stuff. You have come so far and it's been a pleasure to watch you grow.
I know when I'm an idiot. Hopefully I will always apologize for it and I am sorry for being a part of all this drama and total BS.
Lisa posted this in this very thread, Perhaps you missed this Carol.
Lisa posted this in this very thread, Perhaps you missed this Carol.
Carol sweety I love you so much & youve been the greatest friend I ever hoped to fine but I must say this & again I say it with respect.
Anyone can say they are sorry,BUT unless they truley feel they were wrong than its just words.
And I say that not being catty I say that because thats how I feel.Words are easy to say,without really feeling them they are just words.
Lisa in case you didnt get my email Ill put it here
I will pray for you Thursday.I hope things go ok.Though we may no longer be friends...I would never wish what your going through on anyone & I truley will pray for you
molly
Anyone can say they are sorry,BUT unless they truley feel they were wrong than its just words.
And I say that not being catty I say that because thats how I feel.Words are easy to say,without really feeling them they are just words.
Lisa in case you didnt get my email Ill put it here
I will pray for you Thursday.I hope things go ok.Though we may no longer be friends...I would never wish what your going through on anyone & I truley will pray for you
molly
Carol,
Part of my problem that I have been having w/ my 20 yo is he is such a smartazz, it makes me cringe.....( he is his fathers son...my ex that is..LOL)
We told him to leave here becuz of the energy he was putting off was not good at all, it made me full of anxity and I was becoming really depressed...Its like he was out to hurt me for leaving his father over 10 years ago....he has since come back, but we have made it very clear to him that the smartazz comments and bullying that he does will not work here..next time the door is opened...his butt booted out and then I am slamming the door till he figures it out, I keep asking him to go to anger manangement like the dr told him he needed, he told me he just needs to be working, which he now is and is happy, but that does not say he won't snap again..
I totally put my defense up against any one who I feel attacks me, it is something I have been working on, I know I am getting better at it, even my hun has told me I seem to be alot more calmer these days...I went to the dr. adn she put me on Celexa, ( when I was tripping about my son) my hun was not happy about it, he asked that Zack stay away from here till I was able to get a grip w/ myself....then see if I needed them...he was so right on, I only took them for a week...and no more,...and since Zack has been back it seems to be going pretty good, but then again he is not here that much..
Krazi/Traci
Part of my problem that I have been having w/ my 20 yo is he is such a smartazz, it makes me cringe.....( he is his fathers son...my ex that is..LOL)
We told him to leave here becuz of the energy he was putting off was not good at all, it made me full of anxity and I was becoming really depressed...Its like he was out to hurt me for leaving his father over 10 years ago....he has since come back, but we have made it very clear to him that the smartazz comments and bullying that he does will not work here..next time the door is opened...his butt booted out and then I am slamming the door till he figures it out, I keep asking him to go to anger manangement like the dr told him he needed, he told me he just needs to be working, which he now is and is happy, but that does not say he won't snap again..
I totally put my defense up against any one who I feel attacks me, it is something I have been working on, I know I am getting better at it, even my hun has told me I seem to be alot more calmer these days...I went to the dr. adn she put me on Celexa, ( when I was tripping about my son) my hun was not happy about it, he asked that Zack stay away from here till I was able to get a grip w/ myself....then see if I needed them...he was so right on, I only took them for a week...and no more,...and since Zack has been back it seems to be going pretty good, but then again he is not here that much..
Krazi/Traci
It's my defensiveness that gets me into so much trouble.
Got a work on that.
Off to a meeting, have a good day Traci.
Got a work on that.
Off to a meeting, have a good day Traci.
Thanks Lisa,
I know I have grown alot,
We need to remember that those who are new in recovery are very very sensitive...I being one of them....no wonder you and I clashed, you said things to me that hurt, so my only defense was to hurt you back...which I did and it felt good at that time, but as I have grown I look back and kick myself. Man during those days I spewed alot of venom at anyone who was in my way and pissing me off. My best friend and I didn't talk for 2 months for that very reason, I told her how messed up I felt she was, since she was not willing to work on her addiction w/ me. She pops about 25 -30 vics, 4 or 5 somas, and even takes morphone pills on top of that everyday....makes me so mad, she buys off the street when she runs out of hers RX...but I know the time is coming, her dr. is figuring her out, they just did a CT scan and found nothing wrong, so needless to say she is hella bent....and now that the trust fund has run dry, she doesn't have money to buy off the street unless everything gets turned off, they get evicted and have no where to go.. I really hope it doesn't get that far,
I just called her a little bit ago, she didn't answer...she sleeps till 3 or 4 on the days she doesn't work, her quality of life sucks.....I so want to help her, but I know I can't until she is ready to help herself...she has seen how far I have come.I would think she would want it also, but is so afraid of the w/d after seeing what I went thru...pretty sad if I have to say..
Krazi/Traci
I know I have grown alot,
We need to remember that those who are new in recovery are very very sensitive...I being one of them....no wonder you and I clashed, you said things to me that hurt, so my only defense was to hurt you back...which I did and it felt good at that time, but as I have grown I look back and kick myself. Man during those days I spewed alot of venom at anyone who was in my way and pissing me off. My best friend and I didn't talk for 2 months for that very reason, I told her how messed up I felt she was, since she was not willing to work on her addiction w/ me. She pops about 25 -30 vics, 4 or 5 somas, and even takes morphone pills on top of that everyday....makes me so mad, she buys off the street when she runs out of hers RX...but I know the time is coming, her dr. is figuring her out, they just did a CT scan and found nothing wrong, so needless to say she is hella bent....and now that the trust fund has run dry, she doesn't have money to buy off the street unless everything gets turned off, they get evicted and have no where to go.. I really hope it doesn't get that far,
I just called her a little bit ago, she didn't answer...she sleeps till 3 or 4 on the days she doesn't work, her quality of life sucks.....I so want to help her, but I know I can't until she is ready to help herself...she has seen how far I have come.I would think she would want it also, but is so afraid of the w/d after seeing what I went thru...pretty sad if I have to say..
Krazi/Traci
Ok Lisa have agreat day...enjoy your meeting
Krazi/Traci
Krazi/Traci
Traci No I havent read that.I am now...(VERY PROUD OF SAYING THIS)beginning a coarse on God & such .
The book is call..."A coarse in Miricles"& I hope no I need to do this for me.
I hope someday I will be able to move past the hurt between Lisa & me.I know it only harms my recovery to hold onto things I cannot control or change.
Her & I may never be friends but theres no reason that we can not respect each other.This board & members both new & old do not need to see silly drama.Not when addiction is life or death.
Traci all I can do is pray that I move past this hurt that I recieved & be a better person for it.
Take Care
molly
The book is call..."A coarse in Miricles"& I hope no I need to do this for me.
I hope someday I will be able to move past the hurt between Lisa & me.I know it only harms my recovery to hold onto things I cannot control or change.
Her & I may never be friends but theres no reason that we can not respect each other.This board & members both new & old do not need to see silly drama.Not when addiction is life or death.
Traci all I can do is pray that I move past this hurt that I recieved & be a better person for it.
Take Care
molly
Brook, Yep, I saw that, but she had written last night that she had already apologized, so that was what I was looking for. How are you doing? Long time no talk. :-)
Traci, Well, it sounds like you have certainly had your hands full and had plenty of reason to be upset. I hope things continue to work out well for you and your son. I understand completely. Although my grown daughter has never given us any trouble with drugs, etc., they can still be hard on us parents. She is currently unemployed, and guess who is catching hell for her bad mood? You guessed it, Mom. LOL
You have really come a long way, and are to be commended on all of the progress you have made. It's hard, but we do what we have to do, huh? Keep it up. I wish you nothing but good things.
MJ,
I sure hope you can also.......it does your body good...by finding god, it will so help you. I guess I missed what ever happened between the two of you, and thats ok...I just saw some of what went down yesterday...thats why I added Happy Hoildays to one thread...I think that is the one that is gone now...so it must have gotten pretty bad..
I do have to say though, and it being sad, cuz I am not a bad person, but since all that crap went down months ago w/ Lisa and I , no one really talks w/ me anymore..pretty sad there are little cliques here..no one is perfect. many times I have tried to talk w/ people and I get no responses..but whatever...life goes on and it is a sign to me that I need to stay away from here, and be more productive in my lifeaway from the computer..
Krazi/Traci
I sure hope you can also.......it does your body good...by finding god, it will so help you. I guess I missed what ever happened between the two of you, and thats ok...I just saw some of what went down yesterday...thats why I added Happy Hoildays to one thread...I think that is the one that is gone now...so it must have gotten pretty bad..
I do have to say though, and it being sad, cuz I am not a bad person, but since all that crap went down months ago w/ Lisa and I , no one really talks w/ me anymore..pretty sad there are little cliques here..no one is perfect. many times I have tried to talk w/ people and I get no responses..but whatever...life goes on and it is a sign to me that I need to stay away from here, and be more productive in my lifeaway from the computer..
Krazi/Traci
Thank-you Carol,
Hey why do us moms catch all their crap??? With everything we have done and do for them we get treated like crap...makes me so mad. Can you beleive that when we told him he could come back, but he had to pay rent he almost made me feel guilty..ALMOST that is, but I told him sorry you have to learn sometime..he thinks $300 is alot to ask for room and board..( I'd like to see him rent a room for cheaper elsewhere...won't happen....besides we aslo said he has 6 months to have his money saved and move out, we downsized to have them move out but it didn't work...
When he over heard us talking about moving to Nashville he gave me puppy eyes and said what about me??? where am I gonna live.......LOL dee dee dee
KIDS
Krazi/Traci
Hey why do us moms catch all their crap??? With everything we have done and do for them we get treated like crap...makes me so mad. Can you beleive that when we told him he could come back, but he had to pay rent he almost made me feel guilty..ALMOST that is, but I told him sorry you have to learn sometime..he thinks $300 is alot to ask for room and board..( I'd like to see him rent a room for cheaper elsewhere...won't happen....besides we aslo said he has 6 months to have his money saved and move out, we downsized to have them move out but it didn't work...
When he over heard us talking about moving to Nashville he gave me puppy eyes and said what about me??? where am I gonna live.......LOL dee dee dee
KIDS
Krazi/Traci
Traci I just wanted to say if I havent spoken with you much I am sorry.Im not the type to be in any type of Click thats probaly why I was a loner in school.To me they are so unnessasry...
molly
molly
Its ok MJ,
I hate cliques myself, it does nothing but hurt feelings. Kinda like that movie, "Mean Girls" it was on last night. NO I did not watch it, but saw the previews....
So no harm done, it just gets old when you post on a thread where everyone is chatting, then the thread comes to an end after mine, ( yeah that kinda hurts) but like I said..whatever...life does go on.
How are you feeling today hun? I am sorry to see your have not been doing so well yourself...hope things are able to improve for you.
Krazi/Traci
I hate cliques myself, it does nothing but hurt feelings. Kinda like that movie, "Mean Girls" it was on last night. NO I did not watch it, but saw the previews....
So no harm done, it just gets old when you post on a thread where everyone is chatting, then the thread comes to an end after mine, ( yeah that kinda hurts) but like I said..whatever...life does go on.
How are you feeling today hun? I am sorry to see your have not been doing so well yourself...hope things are able to improve for you.
Krazi/Traci
I'm so happy "you kissed and made up". It was very disheartening. I respect both of you ladies immensley. NOW i can feel the love
hugs to all
Heath
hugs to all
Heath
Carol et al...
Nice to see that KeeKee started a chain of forgiveness, but i just want to draw attention to the fact that forgiveness starts within...it shouldnt matter if the person apologizes or doesnt...you have to be willing to forgive regardless..
After all they are only words...It seemed important to Carol that the actual word APOLOGIZE come out of Lisa mouth ( keyboard ) In my mind...Lisas very first post on keeKees chain is an apology in and of itself..but perhaps i read it that way because forgiveness was easier for me to give...
LISA: "I will do better, I promise. I'm facing some scary s*** in the next few days and I'm acting out. It's not any of you that I'm mad at, it's my life right now. Alot of what you said about yourself in that email, is me too. I get it.
Happy Holidays everyone. ""
It may not have had the word apology, but anyone that truly was ready and willing to forgive would read it as such...
All im wanting to say is not to get too caught up in words...they are only words..not everyone thinks of the same ones, or even has the same range of volvabulary, but the intent behind the words should be what speaks the most volume...
peace to all
Ali
Nice to see that KeeKee started a chain of forgiveness, but i just want to draw attention to the fact that forgiveness starts within...it shouldnt matter if the person apologizes or doesnt...you have to be willing to forgive regardless..
After all they are only words...It seemed important to Carol that the actual word APOLOGIZE come out of Lisa mouth ( keyboard ) In my mind...Lisas very first post on keeKees chain is an apology in and of itself..but perhaps i read it that way because forgiveness was easier for me to give...
LISA: "I will do better, I promise. I'm facing some scary s*** in the next few days and I'm acting out. It's not any of you that I'm mad at, it's my life right now. Alot of what you said about yourself in that email, is me too. I get it.
Happy Holidays everyone. ""
It may not have had the word apology, but anyone that truly was ready and willing to forgive would read it as such...
All im wanting to say is not to get too caught up in words...they are only words..not everyone thinks of the same ones, or even has the same range of volvabulary, but the intent behind the words should be what speaks the most volume...
peace to all
Ali
Very well put Ali...
Nice to see you, hope all in your life is going well..
Oh my, I just started reading Janet ( bump) rehab diary...only made it thru about 60 posts and I find myself sitting here crying...man oh man Janet hun, I am going to continue reading but I want to give you a big hug ((( Janet))) you sure have gone thru hell....glad to see you making it...need to jump in shower and get a few more things done around here....
Krazi/Traci
Nice to see you, hope all in your life is going well..
Oh my, I just started reading Janet ( bump) rehab diary...only made it thru about 60 posts and I find myself sitting here crying...man oh man Janet hun, I am going to continue reading but I want to give you a big hug ((( Janet))) you sure have gone thru hell....glad to see you making it...need to jump in shower and get a few more things done around here....
Krazi/Traci
Traci
The heroin twins are on today...think that it shows them in rehab...
just thought i should remind you...
Nice to see you posting again too..
hugs
Ali
The heroin twins are on today...think that it shows them in rehab...
just thought i should remind you...
Nice to see you posting again too..
hugs
Ali
Thanks Ali,
If I have not hit the mall I will tune in at 3..
ok shower is calling..last time I had no hotwater when I got in...cuz I turned it on then came back and read.LOL
Talk soon
Krazi/Traci
If I have not hit the mall I will tune in at 3..
ok shower is calling..last time I had no hotwater when I got in...cuz I turned it on then came back and read.LOL
Talk soon
Krazi/Traci
Thanks Traci...it's in the past now and I am so grateful that I have matured. I was talking to my husband and admitting to him the things that have really put me in awe, like keeping within my budget for Christmas and how good it felt to be able to actually THINK rationally. I think we all believe we are superhuman when we are using, that we are right and the world is wrong.
The H twins are over here, I won't give away the third part if you haven't seen it. Dr Phil is giving away a bunch of stuff for Xmas today.
The H twins are over here, I won't give away the third part if you haven't seen it. Dr Phil is giving away a bunch of stuff for Xmas today.
