More Lesson Of Love

Today's Thought
DECEMBER 05, 2005

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie

Difficult People

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something
from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate
us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn't;
we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone
he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with
reality concerning particular people from our past and our present.
We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a
certain way, when that person cannot or will not.

It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That
doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means
that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop
denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to
be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person
be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk
away from the destructive system.

We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality
into account.

We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms -
taking our needs and ourselves into account. If a person is
addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we
let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give
his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and
freedom in return.

We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control
us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the
process of loving and taking care of ourselves.

We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality
and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt,
but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and
we become set free from bondage.

This is the heart of detaching in love.

Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people
in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I
will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships,
with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both
people as my goal.


user posted image
Sammy,
Goodmornin'..( afternoon ) lol, love ya', ..... Awsome post.

Take care........Bob
Good one Sammy! Thanks for posting that. Hope your having a good day.
love ya,
gi
Great Post Sweetie. You are wonderful. Keep on sharing these posts with the board, they are great ideas..... I just wish it would become a reality. Sending you hugs (one armed) your way!

Love,
Carrie
I love that book. I read from it as often as possible. This particular reading fits the day perfectly.

Thanks for starting my day with an IM, Sam. You make me smile and restore my faith in human nature.

Lisa
hey you gals/guy ~

i picked up a stomach virus since we last spoke and am home today - guess that's a good thing cause it is snowing like crazy and with my luck, i would walk out and slip and fall. even though physically i may be a little under the weather - spiritually, i continue to be blessed.

it's so nice to see there was something i could post today helped someone.

i love you all to pieces!

sammy

p.s. carrie ~ i know how cumbersome that cast can be. i think you will be amazed at how creative you will become in a week or so, while wearing it.
omg sammy....stay indoors. I am beginning to think you and Carrie are in competition for broken bones this month.lol No slipping or falling down allowed today. lol
love ya,
gi
Maybe they need walkers or wheel chairs..they are getting to that age you know.

(eg)
LOL
Hey,
Carrie and Sammy, I have an arm for each of ya', no need for no damn crutches while I'm around....*wink*
Oh Bob,
You are quite the kiss a** today...lolol
Hey Bob,

I will borrow one of those arms, so that I can slap Gina and Lisa around better...... you two are brats! I think Sammy and I could corner the market for making some bubblewrap outfits.......... For the clutzy person in all of us!

Lisa, I already have my wheelchair and a walker, thanks for thinking of it though. LMAO....


Huggles
Carrie
Oh crap..I'm sorry Carrie. I had forgotten that. Very insensitive on my part.
Sammy...
Great post...but I have a question..How do you deal with the feelings of guilt when the person that is toxic is your mother? Any feedback would be so appreciated especially now that holidays are upon us....
Take care
Lisa,

Trust me dear, you are far from insensitive. Those things are just a way of life when I am down and out. I had a terrible time getting fitted for that wheelchair, but since my move, and the fact I am in remission right now, I have not needed that chair for almost three months. I would never get rid of it, but I know that instead of feeling sorry for myself that I have one, I am thankful, because I am always mobile no matter what the situation.

So, don't even fret, I have changed my views on my chair, and you did not need to worry about it. s*** happens, and I know that making the best of a bad situation is the only way to live.

Besides when I am lazy I never had to walk to the fridge, I just rolled.....

Lots of Love
Carrie
sammy,
as always great post. thanks for sharing.
hugs,
ali
Sammy, thank you for sharing. Sorry to hear that you have the stomach virus. We all had it in my house a few weeks ago and it was bad but only lasted about two to three days. Stay inside and keep warm. Take Care, I'll say a prayer for you.
Good one, Sammy!
When I grow up I want to be just like you!
Love you, Kat
ps. Hope you're feeling better